A/N: Umm...
Disclaimer: still don't own Vocaloid or any of their songs.
Luka leaned against the railing surrounding the roof of the Vocaloids' office building. She let the cool wind play with her hair, the earthy fragrance of autumn leaves and the bitter smell of the city mixing in the air around her. There's something relaxing about the roof of a building… she thought wistfully. Inside, it feels confining, but once you're above everything, there's such a sensation of freedom… It was Friday afternoon, almost a week after she'd gone to the police station.
Nobody had touched her, not even hugged her, since that day.
Luka had receded into a corner of herself, shying away from the sadness and fear that occupied the rest of her being. The other members of the family had been shocked, even hurt, for the first few days as Luka avoided any sort of human contact. Now, they mostly watched her quietly from a distance, waiting for her to heal herself. It broke her heart that she couldn't explain to them why she was acting the way she did. How could she, when she didn't even know the reason herself?
Before she knew it, tears were spilling down her cheeks. She stood quietly with her eyes closed, letting them flow with a calm resignation. She opened her mouth, and a few notes escaped her lips. "Utsukushii sekai wa… iroaseteyuku… nagare teku… oshiete…" Her voice shook unsteadily as the tears continued.
The beautiful world
Is losing its color…
Flowing away…
Teach me…
She took out a pen and notebook and wrote down the song as she sang it. It was a ritual of hers. She utilized her pain in the way that she always did: she made it into a song.
I'm looking for the words only you can hear
But I can't see them
Telling you is impossible
Even though
They are flowing over…
The words spilled from her as rapidly as the tears as she sang freely into the wind. Up on the roof, with the sky all around her, she had no boundaries.
Look…
Even though…
I have to repeat…
She wrote the entire song in less than an hour. Wiping the moisture from her cheeks, she started back towards the stairs that led her down into the building.
To everyone else, it would just be another of Luka's beautifully sad songs.
She put her mask back on.
xxxXXXxxx
"Horaaa…" Luka cried out the last word, stretching it over the piano, guitar and drums that accompanied her. The piano finished its last sorrowful note, and Luka exited the recording room.
"Beautiful, simply beautiful!" exclaimed the Master, clapping. The rest of the Vocaloids congratulated her, but kept their distance. The only one not smiling was Gakupo.
Once again he'd listened to her beautiful voice singing of lovely suffering, and he'd been forced to hide his tears. Was he the only one who noticed the real pain in her songs? He gazed at the woman from across the room, his eyes filled with questions that went unanswered.
Luka wouldn't be able to answer them, anyways.
xxxXXXxxx
"What's wrong with you, Luka? Why can't you be happy?" I don't know. I truly don't know.
"You have so many people who love you!" I know, I'm sorry. I'm just a horrible, selfish person, causing you all to worry about me.
"We're all worried for you, Luka." Stop. Stop worrying about me. I'm okay. Well, even if I'm not, it's not fair for you to worry about me. Please. Let me take care of it myself.
"Luka. Luka, look at me, and tell me nothing's wrong."
I can't.
It seemed as if everyone was taking turns talking to her, trying to cheer her up. She wanted to shout at them to leave her alone, that they were only making it worse. I can spare them a little hurt, though, she thought sadly. I've hurt them too much already.
Gakupo glanced into Luka's room to find her window wide open, spilling the frigid night air across the floor. He hurried onto the roof and climbed the chimney, where he found the woman sprawled out on the shingles in her pajamas. She sung something quietly as she stared at the dark, moonless sky.
"Luka, why are you out here? It's freezing," he said with concern.
The woman stopped singing and slowly raised her head to glance emotionlessly at him. Setting her head back down, she took a deep breath. "I can't feel anything anymore, Gakupo."
He silently climbed onto the roof next to her. "Why not?" he asked gently.
She shook her head. "I don't know. And I know it should scare me, but it doesn't. That's the worst part. I just don't care."
Gakupo resisted the urge to hold her in his arms. What can I do? "Is there any way I can help? Please, Luka."
"Why don't you tell me?" she said quietly after a moment. "You always seem to know me better than I know myself."
"I don't know, Luka, please," he pleaded. "I can't let you stay like this. Just let me help you. Let me…"
He reached out his hand. She watched him silently as he softly caressed her healing cheek. Suddenly, clenching her teeth, she sprang up and gripped the edge of the roof and swiftly jumped back down through the window in one graceful move.
"Wait, no…!" he called quickly, but it was too late. "Luka…"
She was already gone.
xxxXXXxxx
Luka sat in the corner of her bathroom, listening to Gakupo's footsteps as he passed by, calling her name. She waited for him to pass before she relaxed. Releasing her clenched fists, she realized her nails had dug little red marks into the skin of her palms. She watched points of blood seep out with a strange fascination. Using her thumbnail, she made another little cut on the top of her hand. She felt the blood in her veins flowing again as the shivers hit her full-force.
There was no thought, no justification, as her blood continued to drip to the floor.
A/N: I'm a horrible person ;_;
Luka: WHY MEEE?
I'm sorry Luka! D'8
Alternate ending:
He reached out his hand. She watched him silently as he softly caressed her healing cheek. Suddenly, clenching her teeth, she sprang up and gripped the edge of the roof and swiftly jumped back down towards the window in one graceful move.
"Wait, no…!" he called quickly, but it was too late.
BANG!
"...I closed the window!"
"#$*&!# GAKUPO!"
Luka: I don't like either of them...
Um, yeah. That was funnier in my head... anyways... if you wanna see Luka get better, review! It'll make me write faster! Love y'all!
Also, the song is "You And Beautiful World" → .com/watch?v=MBtiymiP-u8
Edit: I forgot some stuff ^^" That's what happens when you binge-write, I guess... (if it wasn't a term before, it's a term now. Blehh =P)