Chapter Eleven: Miners and Monsters
"You people want to get into the End. Am I right or am I right?" asked the Enderman who had pulled us into a cave for shelter.
"First answer." I said, setting my chin on my palms. "And second answer. Yeah, we do want to get to the End, if that's not too much trouble. You know a handy taxi-carriage driver?"
He laughed in a strange, Enderman-ish way. "Sorry. Nothing of that sort on hand, I'm afraid. Just an old map of where the End Portal is."
I lifted an eyebrow. Well, that's what I thought I did, anyway. For all I know I could have being scowling strangely. "If you know where the End Portal is, then why can't you just teleport us there? You get to keep your antique map as well. It's a win-win." I tried not to sound too hopeful.
He examined his clawed hands and then met my eyes with a violet gaze of his own. "Rules are rules." he shrugged. "I'm not actually allowed to bring humans to the End. Bad for the scenery, you see. They like to build obstructions everywhere they go. For such short creatures you people do a lot of damage." he sighed eyes flicked over to Horus, who was watching the exchange silently, leaning against a wall. "I wouldn't be offering this deal in the first place if you weren't from the End."
"So what do you want for the antique map?"
He smiled, revealing way too many teeth. "Just a dragon scale."
"Just a dragon scale." I tried not to flinch as Horus spoke. He often spends long periods of time not making a sound, so whenever he does speak I'm always caught off guard. Also because he's a scary person in general.
"What do you plan to do with it?"
"That is none of your concern, human." the Enderman said with a tinge of scorn in his tone. Horus' eyes narrowed dangerously and I edged my way towards the entrance of the cave.
"It certainly would be my concern if you want to make a weapon of mass destruction." He drawled in a somewhat bored manner, as if weapons of mass destruction didn't bother him in the least.
"It's not for an arcane bomb." the Enderman sighed. "I plan to make an enchanted scale. Happy?"
Horus inclined his head by the tiniest bit and went back to ignoring us.
I edged my way back into the cave. "Uh... Enchanted scale?"
"It's where you enchant the scale with a Potion Effect." the Enderman explained. "The holder would experience the effects of the potion, but the effects would last forever unless the holder is parted from it. Only works on dragon scales, and since there is only one dragon in existence, enchanted scales are very rare."
"Yeah, right. Speaking about rare scales, if the only dragon in existence is in the End and we're still trying to get there, what made you think we had one?"
He shrugged. "How you get one is not my concern. The offer stands. If you can't get one then don't bother me."
Disappointment weighed me down like a stone in my gut. "Sorry for wasting your time." I made to walk out of the cave.
"I accept your deal." came a quiet voice from behind me. I whipped around in surprise and stared at Horus like he'd grown a pair of antlers. I opened my mouth to say something but shut it again at the sight of them shaking hands.
He arched an eyebrow at the incredulous look on my face. "The End is not the only place you can get a dragon's scale from, Steve." he said with a sly gleam in his eye.
"Arcane bomb?"
We were down in a cave, the closest one to the Boundary Wall we could find where Crafting still worked. Horus had made a weird blue fire the size of a fist that somehow burned without fuel. I popped down a Crafting Table and started to make myself a diamond helmet with the few diamonds I had on hand.
"Dragon scales contain a lot of magic." he said, fiddling with a spell that seemed to writhe and struggle in his hands. "Since the Ender Dragon is actually classified as a goddess, one of her scales is like..." he paused, thinking. The little ball of blue light took that opportunity to leap out of his hands, but was caught quickly and subdued. "Like a strand of hair from his beard, though I doubt the mortals would prize beard hair as much as dragon scales."
"And that has to do with weapons of mass destruction?" I put the newly-crafted helmet on my head and wriggled it around a bit to make it fit comfortably.
He gave me a flat stare, like he thought I belonged in preschool. "You know that God-Essence sword you have? Some god or goddess actually used so much of their power that the energy took a solid form to make that, probably putting them in some godly hospital for days hooked up to some sort of energy drip wondering Why the heck did I do this to myself so some idiot mortal can kill worthless monsters that don't bother me anyway?"
"You already made you point clear that you think I'm worthless." I muttered. He didn't appear to hear me. I decided to make myself an iron chestplate as well, just in case I didn't have the time to find any more diamonds.
"Every god is made up of pure energy of some sort. So imagine the weak, diluted power in your sword multiplied ten times but in the shape of a scale, a beard hair, or toe-nail clippings."
"Charming. Nice to know I could have been slaying monsters with body hair and come out of it with better results."
He gave me the cold look again. I shut myself up before I could get my throat ripped out. "Long story short, if you manage to turn the object back into pure energy then you'd have enough power to blow a mile-wide hole straight to the bedrock."
I nodded seriously. Remind me not to mess around with Jeb's hair brush in the future. Knowing myself, I'd accidentally start Armageddon.
"So, about the dragon scale. What are we doing down here? Are you planning to forge one or something?" I asked. Horus brought his hands together and extinguished the spell he'd been playing with. Kinda reminded me of an insect getting slapped.
"We're going along with our original plan and getting the materials for a Nether Portal. The Enderman will meet us at the other side." he said, and fell silent.
"Wha-" I started to say. He flashed me a freezing glare that almost made me piss my pants and put a finger to his lips. I closed my mouth with a snap and wondered what could possibly be wrong this time (I dunno. I seem to be a magnet for trouble for some reason. There was probably a Killer Bunny coming our way or something).
After a while of staring at random objects in confusion, I heard it too. A deep humming noise coming from the stone walls of the cave, softly at first, but getting louder and louder.
That doesn't seem like a Killer Bunny to me.
A few feet away, a lump formed on a wall. I leapt back in a startled fashion like I'd just seen a creeper, and watched with some level of incredulity as the lump grew larger and larger. A soft rasp of steel and suddenly Horus was brushing past me, scythe in hand, blue cloak swishing.
Then came the explosions.
A plume of dust spurted from the stone, and the next thing I knew, I was flying backwards and shards of rock were whistling through the air like missiles. There was several flashes of light and then a loud CRACK. Several THUMPS followed and a chunk of stone landed next to me. I wasn't really sure what happened next. I was too busy choking on dust to comprehend what was going on, anyway.
A few moments later, there was a sound like someone snapping their fingers and the dust suddenly cleared. I found myself on my hands and knees and quickly got to my feet. "What was that?" I asked.
Fragments of what looked like a roughly human-shaped stone golem lay scattered on the ground, smoking from whatever spell it got hit by. Horus put his scythe back in his Inventory and looked up from the figure on the ground, not a hair out of place. "I found the Bogeyman, Steve." he drawled, brushing the dust off his cloak. I really couldn't tell whether he was joking or not. You never could with the permanently bored expression on his face.
"I don't know what this is." he muttered. "And that is bothering me."
"Well, you can't know everything. At least we know why there aren't any mobs around." I said, trying to lighten up the mood. He shook his head, a disquieted look lingering on his face.
Then the expression on his face changed into one of alarm. "Steve. Move." he said. I took a step back and tried to draw my sword, but ended up with my pickaxe instead.
"What-"
I didn't get the time to finish my sentence.
The ground shook violently, as if Terra had finally had enough of pesky mortals digging up her territory. I fell on my backside in an undignified manner, pickaxe flying out of my hands.
A hole opened up from under me, and chose that moment to reveal a gaping cavern right underneath where we were. It's almost like the universe was saying Surprise, suckers!
Talk about bad timing. I knew the world hated me anyway.
With that cheerful thought in mind, I fell to my doom for the billionth time. Yay.
- and the air was rushing past me, but no longer in a falling-to-death-into-massive-hole kind of way. It was almost like how I imagined...
Flying?
My feet settled on a surface lightly, and I stumbled before catching myself. I blinked a bit to make sure I wasn't dead and waiting for Respawn to kick in (again).
A flat, wooden bridge in the middle of the chasm. I was standing on a part of an abandoned mineshaft. I could even see the hole we'd fallen from, and I didn't think I'd survive a fall from that height.
Wait... we?
Where's Horus?
There was a few seconds of me panicking like a little kid who got caught stealing from the cookie jar before a voice hissed:"Right here, idiot."
I spun around suddenly, cracking my spine in the process. The magician was on his knees on the wooden planks, looking quite out of breath. He caught me staring and pushed himself to his feet. "Levitation is tiring. Especially when you're trying to catch an object that's falling fast. Of course-" he shot me an unimpressed look. "-It's harder with heavier objects."
I scowled. "Did you save me just so you could call me fat? Besides, what happened back there?" I'd lost my pickaxe, and wasn't pleased about it.
An unreadable expression flashed across his face, gone too quickly for me to be sure it was there at all. "I don't know." he said quietly. I got the vague impression he wasn't telling me something, but decided not to voice it.
"It's not over yet." he said suddenly, and drew his weapon. I did the same, silently thanking my nonexistent luck I hadn't lost my sword instead.
There was nothing for a while, and I started to drop my guard. Then I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, and noticed Horus wasn't in the same position anymore. A millisecond later there was a screech and a spray of yellow liquid, and a creature of sorts thudded down on the bridge, hissing and squirming, before the light faded out of its eyes and it lay still. I went over to take a look at it and almost puked.
The smell of moldy fruit clung to it. It was smallish, the size of a human child. It was covered from head to toe with what looked like browned leaves, and it had avian feet ending in very sharp talons. Its arms ended in sharp points instead of hands. The head looked like something you'd get if you mixed a creeper head with a jack-o'lantern. I stumbled away, nose being brutally murdered by the stench. "Yeesh." I wrinkled my nose. "Who's compost pile did this get born in?"
Horus had frozen to the spot, staring. I could tell he recognised it. I prodded him in the arm gingerly, half expecting to have my head sliced off. He blinked, snapping out of his trance, the usual bored expression settling back on his face.
"There's more of them." he said. "They're invisible until you kill them, so you only know where they are from the smell. Avoid getting so much as a scratch. They have poison glands under their skin." he didn't tell me what exactly they were, and I didn't feel the need to know.
Then he moved again, scythe blade making a soft sound as it did its job. At the same time, I smelt the scent of compost again and ducked out of reflex, spinning and lashing out blindly with my sword. I hit something and swung again, hearing the thing screech as two halves of the creature landed on either side of me, still wriggling. I turned away in disgust and simply started randomly slicing at things whenever I smelt or felt anything fishy. I'm sure the weird creatures were all being scared off by my dazzling show of skill.
I noticed Horus wasn't using magic. Yes, he did occasionally do an impressive acrobatic manoeuvre now and then, but as far as aerial backflips and other fancy moves go, they didn't require sorcery. Maybe he'd run out of energy.
I ducked again, feeling something swish over my head. I can almost feel the creatures now, disturbances in the air around me. Maybe I was developing a second sight (apparently all magicians have second sight)?
Or maybe it was just because the weird things stank like rotten fruit and farts.
I had one thing in my head: KILL ZE STUPID LEAF CREATURES! So when it was over, it took me a while to realise it. I was standing in a pile of compost that wasn't disintegrating like creatures normally would after I killed them.
Horus was slightly bent over. At the first glance, it looked like he was holding one of the creatures by the throat. But I noticed he was standing too still.
"Are you alright?" I called. He raised his head slightly and I got a full view of the blood trickling out of the corner of his lip. Then the red-slicked point sticking out of his back.
He pulled the leaf-creature off and gasped as the spear/arm slid out of his chest. "Does it... look like... I'm alright?" he rasped as I rushed over.
"Don't die now, Notchdammit." I said, ignoring the warning hiss.
"Heh... Don't look... so hopeful... you twit." I tried to support him so we could go somewhere safer, but his legs gave out and he collapsed in a bloody heap, devoid of any of his usual grace.
Then the universe decided to throw me in for another loop.
The ground trembled, gently at first, then getting more and more violent, throwing me backwards. I screamed in frustration as the bridge collapsed and tried to get over to Horus.
The bridge promptly split between us, exactly in the middle.
His eyes met mine just before the wooden floor crumbled, and then-
Gone.
This story will be going on a Hiatus for three weeks while I'm stuck on camp, which is why I got this chapter in early (If I say so myself). Sorry about that (Not that anyone really reads this anyway).
Here's a little short story, inspired by something on DeviantArt. Well, not so much as inspired as driven me into a fit of rage and made me determined to prove them wrong (I can't really prove anything because this is all in my imagination).
Half God
Forty years after the creation of the world etc, etc...
And the Gods are squabbling again.
Jeb shouldn't be surprised, really (And he wasn't). Whenever Notch is away romping around the Overworld discovering new things, making up new things, and having fun, the Gods always squabble. Herobrine can't be bothered to keep them in check, and besides, if the Gods didn't have a fight every now and then, where would he go to keep himself amused?
-I'm ranked higher than you! You have to listen to me!
-No I don't, you're just a worthless idiot with a head full of shit and Notch was fooled by your flattery so he gave you a higher rank!
Jeb exhales deeply, tuning out the arguments as he sips from his coffee. Yes, Gods are allowed to bring drinks to meetings, so most of them does. It is almost habitual for a God to bring a drink to a meeting now.
-"Just a Half-God!" Aurorion says loudly, attracting the attentions of lots of bored gods who have nothing to do but listen to conversations.
Herobrine raises an eyebrow (This guy is graceful even when he's only raising an eyebrow, Notchdammit!) and watches calmly as Aurorion storms up to his seat at the head of the table next to Notch's empty one.
Oh yeah. Forgot to mention: Aurorion always brings elf wine to meetings, thus always ending up a drunken idiot when he come out (He was always an idiot. The alcohol just makes him drunk as well).
"You're just *hic* a demigod! You shouldn't *hic* even be in the Aether, much less sit at the head of the table!" Aurorion exclaims, pointing at the white-eyed god drunkenly.
Herobrine sets his tea cup in its saucer carefully, and meets Aurorion's bluster with a cool gaze. "And where did you get that information from, pray tell?"
"I-" Aurorion stutters. "The mortals all say it."
"And since when did we ever listen to mortals?" Herobrine drawls.
"Sh-Shut up!" Aurorion snaps. "The reason wear the form of a teenage mortal and the reason you don't have a rank is because you are weak, and don't like to admit it! I propose a duel: If I win, you crawl out of the Aether with your pathetic tail between your legs and I get your position." He smirks confidently. He knows Herobrine couldn't afford to back down now without looking like a coward.
The white-eyed god rests his chin on his palms, looking not at all perturbed by the audience. "And if I win? What's in it for me?" Aurorion stutters and stumbles over his words. "You have nothing to offer, I see. Well, I accept you challenge."
He promptly stands up and summons his scythe/pickaxe. The gods back away with some level of wariness. He then leans it on a wall and with a flick of his fingers, clears all the chairs and tables away.
Aurorion grins and summons his spear. Now that the god is weaponless, he doesn't stand a chance!
A minute later...
Herobrine walks away from the throne room with his hands in his pockets and not a hair out of place.
"That was jolly well violence in its truest form." Hydros says, aquamarine eyes the size of oranges.
Yes, and that was the understatement of the millennia. Jeb thinks dryly.
Aurorion is lying in a smoking crater fifty feet deep with all his bones broken and bleeding everywhere with a broken spear and a even more broken pride. The gods stand around and take pictures of him for blackmail material.
Jeb just sighs. There is a reason Herobrine called the Destroyer, after all.
Though the fact he is number zero in the rankings of the gods may be taken the wrong way.
Notch teleports in with a starburst of gold and looks around in a really confused way. The gods immediately quit their squabbling and make themselves look as respectable as possible.
"Did I miss something? Why is there a hole in the ground?" He peers into the said hole. "Why did someone drop a zombie in- Oh, sorry. Hi, Rory."
Aurorion whimpers something intelligible, probably protesting to the belittling nickname.
Notch waves his hand, lifting the Ice God out of the crater and restoring the room to proper order.
"Now, can someone tell me where my brother's run off to?"