It was recess time in Peach Creek Junior High School. Kevin had a basketball and was looking and Rolf stood next to him to pick players for their teams. However, Mike was sitting on a bench near the grass with Nazz who had nail polish and was applying the color on the tomboy's nails.
"You see, manicures aren't only pretty, but they're healthy for you," Nazz told her, smiling. "My mom and aunt get them all the time. Sometimes my dad goes with them and they're actually healthy for your nails and prevent anything irritating or gunky."
"Wow, Nazz, that's actually smart of you." Mike smiled at the girl, not seeming to mind this 'beauty treatment'.
"What're friends for?" Nazz smiled.
Mike glanced at her. "We're friends?"
"Well, sure!" Nazz beamed. "Why wouldn't we be? I've always liked you, Mike. You're cool... But, did your parents want a boy when you were born?"
Mike assumed she might have been referring to her name. "Oh, no, I've been going by Mike since after kindergarten, my old friends Max and Melissa couldn't say 'Michelene' and it came out as Mike, so it's stuck with me ever since."
"Michelene, that's an interesting name." Nazz smiled, but didn't dare laugh at it.
"I think it was the name of a great-grandmother or something..." Mike shrugged, then blew on her nails to dry them before recess would be over.
"My parents named me after a David Bowie song." Nazz giggled.
Mike shrugged, but smiled. She had to admit, Nazz really wasn't all that bad for a cul-de-sac kid. Sure Nazz was a little dim here and there, but she really wasn't that bad. Not to mention that Nazz tries not to be rude about it, but she also isn't keen on Ed's sister, Sarah.
Kevin came to the girls. "Ladies..."
"Hey, Kev!" Nazz greeted.
Mike rolled her eyes. "Hey, Kevin..."
"You girls wanna play basketball?" Kevin took out his ball.
Mike and Nazz exchanged glances to each other.
"I haven't played in a long time." Mike looked back with a smile.
"Let's see what ya got then." Kevin chuckled.
A whistle was blown after Kevin and Rolf chose their teammates to play. Mike was proved to be a truly worthy opponent against Rolf's teammate, Plank. Eddy wanted to play too, but he had a bad run of luck about being picked last and not able to be picked properly. Eddy left eventually and Mike allowed Kevin's team to win in the end.
"Not bad, Masculine Named Girl," Rolf wiped his forehead. "Rolf has never met a greater match than milking Beatrice during harvest season."
"Good game, Rolf." Mike shook his hand, then immediately withdrew hers to blow on her fingertips.
Mike smiled, then went to join the Ed's. "Hey guys, what's going on today?"
"Oh, Mike, good you're here," Double D smiled and held out a newspaper. "Brace yourselves, lady and gentlemen, for I have been elected by Journalists Club to act as the new editor of the Peach Creek Junior High Tattler!" he gave the paper to Mike since she probably has never seen it.
"Wow, that's great, Double D!" Mike voiced her support.
"Oh, I know," Double D grew sheepish and proud of himself. "I was speechless as well. Perhaps you'd like to assist me in this good cause?"
"Get real!" Eddy swiped the paper and balled it up. "I'd rather wear Ed's underwear for a week!" he stormed off.
"Not today, Eddy, I'm flying solo!" Ed called out.
"How about you, Ed?" Double D came to the estranged boy. "Are you ready to take that first step into the exciting world of journalism?"
"As long as I don't get any on my shoes, Double D, my mom has got new carpets." Ed stated.
"Mike?" Double D asked the girl.
"Sure, I always wanted to work on the school paper, makes me feel like one of those snappy ace reporters on TV." Mike sounded excited.
"Superb, now let's try to convince Eddy, follow me, you two." Double D walked ahead as the bell rang to summon the kids inside back to classes. "Ed, I'll supply you with the newspapers, and Mike, you can have the collection box."
"Stop the presses!" Eddy instantly came to his three friends. "Collection? Like in cash? Where do I sign, oh, pal of mine?"
"You know this can't end well." Mike looked up to Double D.
The school press room was empty except for Mike and the Ed's. Double D was on a type-writer, Eddy was watching the press, and Mike was sitting in a chair, folding paper airplanes and throwing them. Double D took some paper from Eddy then continued his work while Ed was out strolling the hallways for stories to report in the paper. The doorknob was being turned left and right over and over, then Eddy finally decided to open it, revealing it was Ed with his story.
"Extra, Extra!" Ed called like an old-fashioned news boy. "Kids pelt Ed with can't sell school papers! Not a one!"
"Well, darn, what's wrong?" Mike looked over in dismay.
Eddy pulled the paper out and read the headline. "'Jimmy Makes Shortcake'? I wouldn't line a birdcage with this bunk!"
Double D disagreed. "I'll have you know, Jimmy's shortcakes are the best I've-"
Eddy hit him in the face with his paper. "Where's the scandal? That's what sells papers!"
"Now you're talking!" Mike had to agree, that sounded better than regular stories throughout the school.
"Yep, because sandals are baked fresh daily, Double D." Ed added, taking out a flip-flop.
"Ignore him," Eddy nudged Double D with Mike on his side. "Just stick to the script."
"Fine, I'll admit the last few editions have been somewhat lacking." Double D stated as he saw articles about the past three issues about Mrs. Smith receiving a fresh apple, photocopier repaired, and photocopier still good working order. "But that's all about to change, guys! My sources tell me that the Knitting Club is attempting to darn the World's Largest Doily!"
Eddy and Mike exchanged annoyed glances at each other, then looked back to Double D as he went off.
"Wow, that's the scoop of a lifetime, Double D!" Eddy called, sarcastically. "You better hustle on over there before their arteries harden!"
Double D gave Mike and Eddy press hats, and went to do just that.
"Arteries?" Ed spoke up. "Touch the artery! Touch the artery!"
Eddy slammed the door as Ed ran into it. "Say cheese!"
Mike took a picture of Ed's head, having a wicked smile.
"Forget him," Eddy continued. "Come on, you two, we're gonna turn this rag into a world-class money machine! The Eddy way."
"We're also gonna get back at those rotten kids for what they've done to you three for years!" Mike had heard so much about what the Ed's had been through before she moved into town herself.
In the press room, Eddy and Mike were making the paper their way. Normally Mike speaks up for morality for Eddy in a way that doesn't hurt his brain or aggravate him like Double D, but he had to agree with Eddy on this scheme. Just so long as she doesn't get in horrible trouble with the principal.
Ed came to the two with the front page of the paper on the back of his head. "It says: 'Miniature mutants have colonized Ed's head, and are mining bubblegum from his skull.' Cool! These Bauble and Boopy Babble sure are the smart kids!"
"It's Bobby and Barbie Blabby, idiot!" Eddy yelled at him, throwing books into the ceiling fan.
"Tabloid reporters extraordinaire." Mike added rather smugly.
"Yep, we got the dirtiest dishes this side of dirty dishdom," Eddy grinned. "Let's see what we got here," he took out three random strips of paper each with one word to attach to the bulletin board. "Fork. Boy. Created... Ed, Mike, I got tomorrow's headline!"
"I can see it now," Mike sounded spunky like a female ace reporter, she even had a hat on with a P inside for press. "Fork Boy created in cooking class!"
"Meatballs jabbed as teachers run for napkins!" Eddy added. "I like that..."
Mike and Eddy shook each other's hands, then looked to see Ed.
"You still here?" Eddy looked at him, then pushed him into the hallway. "Get out there and make us some cash, Paperboy!"
"A boy, and I'm a goin', Baby and Belly Boo-bah!" Ed saluted, then went off to spread the word in Peach Creek Junior High's halls.
"That's Bobby and Barbie Blabby!" Mike and Eddy yelled, then slammed the door.
A while later, soon enough all the students had bought the paper which was a lot more than anyone would think they were. More papers were being printed by Mike as Eddy was really feeling greedier than he had ever been in all his life.
"Extra, Extra!" Ed called, showing his filled press cap. "We're swimming in the press pool!"
"Look at all this moolah!" Eddy grinned. "Just think, guys, we'll double it, no, triple it, with these stories Mike and I just made up!"
Double D came in. "Well, that lead went nowhere... Seems there is no knitting club, lack of interest..."
"Forget the knitting club, check out the dough I raked in!" Eddy showed Double D the money collected.
"Isn't it great?" Mike laughed, feeling great and greedy as Eddy.
"I raked too." Ed stated.
"My word!" Double D sounded proud. "Thank you, thank you, lady and gentlemen! The coffers of the Students' Fund will be greatly enriched by this week's turnover!"
"Student Fund?" Mike and Eddy suddenly paled.
"Why, yes," Double D replied, carrying the hat away. "The newspaper is a non-profit organization. All profits due to the school."
"Like heck they are!" Eddy grabbed the hat back. "This money's mine and Mike's!"
Kevin suddenly came in and kicked the door open, very steamed. "Who's this Bobby and Barbie Blabby guys?"
"Hello, loyal readers!" Ed called out.
Kevin grabbed Double D and held him over the printing press. "Better spill the beans, Mr. Editor, or you're paper pulp!"
Mike gulped, she began to feel instantly guilty and to accept the consequences of her actions.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Double D said in defense to the school bully.
Kevin showed him the paper in anger. "Who wrote this stuff!?"
"Miniature aliens? Hairy legs? Miniature cities and...spandex bicycle shorts? Who indeed is Bobby Blabby?" Double D read, then looked to the people he trusted to be in the paper for him due to his absence. Eddy was sneaking to the door with the hat clamped on his head. "Eddy, Mike? Care to explain?"
"What? Uhh... Couldn't tell ya, sound like jerks, right, Mike?" Eddy grew frantic.
Mike sighed and came between Kevin and Double D. "Guys, I have a confession to make..."
"No, Mike!" Eddy yelled, running toward her. Suddenly, the hat fell off and a bunch of the coins spilled out in a heap around them.
"You dropped your loot, Bippy and Bizzy Boo-Boo." Ed replied.
"IT'S BOBBY AND BARBIE BLABBY, GET IT RIGHT!" Eddy yelled to him, then suddenly cupped his mouth. "Oops..."
"I'm sorry, Kevin and Double D," Mike slowly shut her eyes and her pigtails seemed to even droop in shame. "We just wanted to make the school a little more interesting..."
"Michelene Mavinsky, I'm very disappointed in you!" Double D sounded cross. "I'm afraid I'll have to contact the principal and your parents."
"Yes, Double D, I understand..." Mike droned.
Double D's expression softened. "Oh, dear... Perhaps the guilt of having this large weight on your shoulders is punishment enough."
"I feel really crummy." Mike admitted.
Double D patted her head. "Well, okay... I'll be sure the principal doesn't give you and Eddy a harsh punishment and persuade him to not call your parents, or Mr. and Mrs. Sampson about this."
"Thanks, Double D..." Mike murmured.
Eddy was beaten up by Kevin for the consequences of making fake stories about the kids in school, and Mike was beside him. They were together, Mike had yarn around her hands as Eddy was knitting.
"Bobby and Barbie Blabby were fakes, buddy!" Jonny beamed to Plank. "It says the knitting club formed with only two members!"
"Extra, Extra!" Ed called. "Eddy and Mike are forced to knit the world's largest doily!"
Eddy made a threatening look to Ed.
"Hurt him, and I'll get Lee Kanker in here to help you..." Mike glared at him.
Eddy gulped and went back to work. Mike was really scary when she wanted to be.
"Mr. Eddy, Miss Mike," Double D came like an interviewer to his friends. "Any pointers to share with your readers on your newfound extracurricular mortification?"
"Get lost." Mike and Eddy scowled.
"Eddy and Mike demand concentration as they dote on distinguished doily. Sounds like a front-pager." Double D reported.
"Smells like a back pager." Ed added.
"I hate doilies." Eddy murmured.
"I should've stayed on the island." Mike muttered as the principal was giving them both the stink eye.