Author's notes- I don't own the TMNT as much as I'd like to.

Written in third person, you'll see why.

…Or You Can Learn From It.

Raphael was tearing down the stairs, quickly followed by Michelangelo. Both had panic-stricken looks on their faces as they burst into Donatello's sanctuary, his laboratory.

"Raph! What-"

A piece of paper, already been torn at the corner and crumpled a little despite being a clean sheet when it was first written on, was thrust into the turtle's face. A little too patiently for Raphael, Donatello read it, a deep frown on his face.

"We need ta go see sensei."

Nodding thoughtfully, the purple-banded turtle got up to follow his brothers into their father's room.

Their rat master had been meditating for some hours in his room already that morning. A peaceful smile was fixed on his face and his tail lay relaxed at his side. His concentration and peace were hastily broken by an alarmed knock at his door. Sighing, his concentration snapped and his eyes opened.

"Enter."

He got to his feet, with the aid of his cane, about to head for his tea set when his three sons came bursting into the room. Michelangelo would not keep still; he was hopping from foot to foot as Donatello, as calmly as always, stood behind him, eyes carefully fixed onto the paper in his second oldest brother's hands. Raphael was, by this time, breathing a little heavily from his burst of energy and clutching a very important letter.

"Sensei, this… Karm… argh!"

Agitated, the sai-wielding turtle thrust the paper forward yet again and Splinter carefully took it in his delicate hand. He wore the same solemn expression on his face as he read it, stumbling over a few words; his skills at reading English weren't as expert as he wished they were.

"My sons," He started carefully, "From this letter it is apparent what we can, and must, do."

"What?"

The aged rat stared back into the eager eyes of his sons and sighed.

"Nothing."

"Nothin'?!"

"Yes, nothing."

The strongest turtle started to talk then his shoulders drooped. He knew his father was right, he'd re-read the letter a few times before rushing into Michelangelo's room. He was defeated, as was the rest of his family.

They filtered from Splinter's room, each wandering in different directions, Donatello the laboratory, Michelangelo the kitchen, after all food was his favourite comfort, and Raphael the room he once shared with his beloved, Karma.

Once more he read the note, before carefully folding it and putting it on his bedside table. He lay down in the bed where he had once held her and closed his eyes tight. He hoped when he woke up that this would be a horrible dream, and that letter, that stupid, horrible letter would be gone.

After much difficulty, he fell into a fitful sleep, only able to dream about these words:

'Dear Raph,

I'm sorry, but the reason you're reading this is because I've left. Please, don't worry, this isn't like that other letter I left, trust me, I'll be coming home.

I know that this is going to hurt you, after all, Leo only left yesterday, but I need to do this. I'm leaving too, for a while. I'm not sure when I'll be back or even where I'm going, but please don't come looking for me. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have to. I promise when I get where I'm going, I'll send you a letter. I'll address it to April but put your name on the front. You'll probably get as many letters as I can possibly send you and everyone else.

I hope you know that… I love you. I know that you might think I don't or that I don't want to live with you anymore, but I do. This is painful for me too, I'm just asking that whilst I'm away, you won't hate me for doing this to you, I already hate myself for doing this.

I guess you want to know why I'm doing this. Partly, I don't know why and partly because I feel I have to. I have this thing in my heart saying that I need this freedom because I was caged for too long. I'm not sure who I am and I need to find that, by myself. I need to know if I'm a different person when I'm with you, because I don't want to be. I want to be myself and be myself for you. I know deep down I'm not a depressed, grumpy, anti-social person, it's just who I was made into. Some days I hate the world and everything that comes with it because that's what Stockman did to me but other days… other days I've never felt so alive, so exhilarated. I feel I could take on the world and that's who I think I am. So I'm going to. I'm going to take on the world and prove to myself I'm not scared of living. I'm going to prove myself I can do this, because that's who I need to prove it to.

I'm sorry, I really wish I didn't have to, but I do. Everything will be okay. Really, it will. I promise you. Leo and I will come back. He won't be angry and I won't be broken and nobody will stand a chance against all of us. I guess this gives you time to just be with your family too. Spend time with Mikey playing stupid games and try to do stuff on the truck and your bike with Donny and meditate and spar with sensei. You're so strong; all of you, and you can do this without Leo and I. You don't need us and I think you need to prove that to yourselves.

I love you, all of you. I love you Mikey, I love you Donny, I love you sensei and I love you Raphael, with all my heart.

Please take care and I promise you'll hear from me soon.

Karma xxxx

P.S Mikey, I hope you don't mind looking after Theo. I know I'm going to miss out on his baby times but let him know I still care about him, okay? I'm even getting teary about the cat here…

P.P.S Donny, I left my cell shell. I figured it wouldn't be much use outside of New York and the battery needs replacing… would you mind?

P.P.P.S Sensei, I'm sorry!!! If Raph gets out of hand, he hides his special chocolate stash under the bed, feel free to confiscate it from him.

P.P.P.P.S (Yep, this is getting ridiculous but I need to say it) I've finally realised that the present matters. I spent all my time worrying about the future and fretting over the past but… that shouldn't matter. A wise blue-banded turtle once left me a note that just said 'Only today matters'. And he was right, only today does matter, so make the most of it.'