Chapter 11 The Way You Left Me

Fall was in the air, it was crisper, cooler and the sun made it all the more enjoyable. Angel held a note card in front of Buffy as she looked at. It was drawing and on the back was the name, date and the artist. Angel was impressed as she got every single one correct and she had a hundred note cards. Also outside with them on grass was Willow and Oz. Xander and Spike were still in class and while they waited for them get out Buffy was being quizzed. Riley's time was taken up by a murder case in LA and Joyce was always gone during the day. The two still didn't know what was going on yet but both Buffy and Angel knew they weren't going to be able to hold out until the end of the school year but it was worth a try.

Doyle was going to sell out the pub by the summer and he and Cordelia were going to move to Galway. Angel was going with them. He had friends in the states but Ireland, Galway was his true home. With his parents gone and Doyle leaving he didn't want to stay. But he wasn't going to leave Buffy. Buffy was looking up colleges in Galway or nearby to continue her studies if she found anything. The way she'd drop the plan on her mom that she was leaving was what she needed to come up with. Getting away from her mother was easy but Riley was different. He'd always get what he wanted and if he didn't he would prove it difficult for the one who denied him what he wanted. That's what Buffy feared, Riley could follow her, make it difficult to leave or worse, Angel. He could do something to Angel, no she pushed that thought out and went to thinking about Ireland again. Buffy fell in love with Ireland and has been wanting to go back and she might get her wish early. Xander and Spike came over to join them and sat down.

"So what's up?" Xander asked and Buffy turned to her bag pulling out an envelope that was opened. Angel wanted to see what she had.

"So I got this and well," She opened the envelop pulling out the piece of paper and unfolded it. "Here," She passed it to Angel and he looked at it.

"Dear Buffy Summers," He started and they were all interested in it. "On behalf of the International Skating Union we would like you to attend this year's competition as an honorary figure skater to represent your country of the United States and to perform at the opening of the competition." Angel looked up at her, Willow smiled huge and Xander and Spike clapped. "Do it." Buffy smiled and took the paper back.

"Are you going to do it?" Willow asked.

"I connected my coach and he's ready. We have to start training like now if I want to put on a good show." Buffy explained.

"When is it?" Angel asked.

"March." Buffy answered.

"That's Angel birthday and he's done after this semester." Willow stated meaning she should go and he should too. Buffy smiled but that wasn't the best part.

"It's being held in Dublin this year." Buffy said and Angel smiled.

"Wow ok both of you go." Willow said. Angel was planning on going to Ireland for his birthday but if Buffy was going because she was invited then what was stopping them.

"What about your mom and Riley?" Xander asked.

"Mom won't go and Riley will try to tell me that I shouldn't." Buffy said. "So I won't tell them until the day I leave." Angel smiled. "It's only for a few days mostly fly there, stay the night, perform, stay another night then fly back." She explained. Angel was excited he would get to see her train and perform. "God I'm so behind by this time I would have had a show done I'd just be perfecting it."

November

Buffy twisted in the air landing perfectly. Angel was at this practice watching and smiling. Buffy was three hours in her rehearsal and you could tell she was tired. Her coach was on the ice with her and clapped his hands pushing her.

"Take a break you're getting tired." Matthew said to Buffy and she grunted in disappointed. "No attitude you know better take a break." Buffy then skated lightly around the rink she skated pass Angel and he could tell she was frustrated. Matthew watched her letting her rest, she had one hour left. Once she calmed down he clapped his hands indicating it was time to start again. "Ok from page six to page eighteen." Matthew said and Buffy nodded taking in deep breaths as she circled the rink before starting again. Matthew skated off to the side and stood next to Angel as Buffy was ready. "Alright kiddo impress me." Buffy then began again. Angel had been watching her for almost a month now and watched how she trained. She lifted weights, ran, danced she was athlete.

Now instead of keeping their relationship hidden they now had to keep this hidden as well. So here practices were very intense in order for her to be able to be ready by March. While he had a feeling Joyce and Riley didn't care if she went it was best not say anything. Angel watched how she moved on the ice and was happy to see her skating.

Later that night Buffy was back at home and had changed into some comfortable clothes and headed downstairs to her kitchen.

"Buffy?" Her mother asked and Buffy came into the dining room where Riley and Joyce sat. "Buffy can you sit?" Buffy sat down and her heart started to pound, did they know. "First Buffy this," Joyce held her letter for the Worlds. "Are you doing it?" Buffy couldn't lie about that and nodded.

"You're back at it again?" Riley asked and she nodded. "Buffy you're putting all your time into this why?"

"I'm not competing I'm just doing the opening show, it's a great honor to do that." Buffy explained.

"I thought you were done with it." Joyce asked. She would never be done with skating she was never done with it in the first place. Joyce shook her head and decided it was time to move on to the next subject. "Angel and his friends." Joyce said and Buffy felt a lump in her throat, 'oh god do they know.' "I don't want you to be around them."

"Yes they are taking up your time and if you're going to be skating then you should think what's most important." Riley added.

"What have they done wrong?" Buffy asked.

"Angel is just a bad influence, no parents, works in a shop." Joyce said.

"Who cares?" Buffy added.

"Look I'm having a friend come over to keep an eye on you so to speak." Riley started.

"A watch dog you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy please this for you." Joyce said backing up Riley. "I don't want you to be around them no good will come of it. In all honesty I rather you not do this skating stuff."

"Well it's too bad they're my friends and I am going to perform." Buffy said and then got up and left. Joyce went to follow her while Riley stayed behind. Buffy went up to her room and Joyce followed.

"Buffy what's gotten into you?" Joyce asked. "You're never here."

"What neither are you." Buffy shot back.

"This is about you, you aren't around and Riley needs you."

"Oh please." Buffy sighed and then Joyce shut the door and without warning slapped her daughter across the face. But before Buffy could think Joyce then squeezed Buffy's arms as they were face to face.

"This isn't a game Buffy. You know all the money is gone thanks to your father. Riley is the only thing we have to keep this house, to keep all we have." Joyce said. "He's perfect."

"How could you ask me to?"

"Why are you so selfish!" Joyce yelled letting Buffy go and then Riley came in. Buffy stood there holding her face that was already turning red from her mother. "Buffy you are to go to class, go to rehearsal, then come home do you understand me." Buffy said nothing she felt like she was being treated like she was sixteen.

"Your mother is just trying to help."

"If you go against what I say we'll move out of here and you'll never see that boy or his friends again." Joyce threaten.

"You can't do that. How much under your power do you think I am?" Buffy asked

"You want to find out?" Riley asked as he stood taller. "You want to live like a normal girl and have a place to sleep and eat, he doesn't come near you." Riley threaten. "You'll learn to appreciate what I have to offer and what we are trying to do." Riley walked up to her and Buffy backed away and for once she was afraid of him. "If you're seeing him whether its friends or something else it would be wise to end it. If you don't I will know and I'll make his life a living hell, you're mine, I found you first." Riley said and left the room and Joyce stood there and then handed Buffy another note. Buffy slowly took it and her mother left her room. Buffy saw the open letter and took it out. She unfolded the paper and begun to read it. As she read she slowly sank to the floor.

Angel was fixing up everything before he headed to bed. He left his room to turn off the kitchen light when he heard a knock at the door. He headed to it and opened it to find Buffy standing there.

"Buffy?" He asked, it was late and she should be asleep. "Buffy what is it?" She stood there and looked up at him. He noticed she was holding her shoes. She looked at her shoes and back at him.

"They were hurting me so I had to take them off about half way here." She explained.

"You walked here?" Angel asked and pulled her inside locking the door. He wasn't mad at her but to walk here, they lived on opposite sides of town. Once she was safe inside she stood there in his living room. He noticed she was holding something else not only that there was still faint red mark on her cheek. "Buffy what is it?" Buffy's eyes begun to water as much as she fought back the tears, it was a losing battle.

"Angel, mom and Riley they…" She took in a deep breath. "I don't know if they know but they threaten you."

"Come sit down." Angel gently grabbed her and they sat down on the couch. "Buffy its ok just relax, calm down." He was more concerned with the red mark on her face. He reached for it and she winced. "Did he hurt you?" Angel asked, 'if he touched her I'll kill him' he thought to himself. Buffy shook her head no.

"Mom." Was all she said, it wasn't much better. "Angel Riley is a powerful lawyer and he's always had his way. If he doesn't get what he wants then he'll just take it. He's ruined lives and he'll do the same to you."

"What's he going to do to me?" Angel asked and Buffy had tears.

"Angel listen I don't want you to get hurt." She said and he placed his hand on her cheek.

"Let me handle Riley."

"Angel," She barely got out. She knew what Riley could do to people, drain them of money, find some type of loop hole that will break them. What could she do? She wanted Angel but at what cost. Most would tell her just to leave her mother and Riley but it was so much easier said than done. Riley would track her, stalk her. She couldn't get away and was trapped.

"What do you want to do?" He asked, he always asked what she wanted to do; he cared about her thoughts unlike others she knew. The true thought was to keep him safe was to end this, end it right now and don't look back. She would be selfless and end it so no harm of any kind would come to him. But she gave up her dreams before, she couldn't give him up. Her heart hurt thinking about it, like something was crushing her chest, pulling her insides out. Angel knew the answer and if she chose it he would respect it. She couldn't get love without sacrifice. She then held up the papers she had and handed them to him.

"My dad's dead." She said and Angel looked up at her.

"What?" He asked, he was surprised at the news it was so quick.

"He's been dead for a week the letter just got to me, they had to track us down. Guess the alcohol did him in he'd walk forty miles for liquor and women but not four feet for me, the first page is the note stating his death the others are a letter to me that he wrote, I can't read them." She sat back on the couch. She hated her father, he left her for booze, he took away her dream of a skater for hookers, he was just man not a father, not a dad. Angel tossed the first paper away and looked the hand written notes. She couldn't read them so he'd read them to her, she might not want to hear it but it was closure. "He left me." She said as Angel scanned the note and he could read the hand writing, it was a little sloppy but he could manage.

"To my daughter Buffy," Angel started and Buffy wiped a tear away. "I hope you read this instead of ripping it up. When you get this I will be dead, they can't give me a liver. I wanted to call to hear you again but you would have hung up and I don't blame you." Angel paused and looked up at Buffy as she sat there staring off in the distance. "I'm not going to ramble on except to say that I am sorry for leaving for not being the father that you deserved, the way I left you was wrong." Buffy then had tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't take back what I've done and I wish I could with every fiber of my being. I know you thought I was gone but the money didn't all go to my nasty habits. I was there watching you, I saw you win your first gold medal." Buffy then felt more tears. "I was at all your shows and I was so proud. I didn't want it to end but I had bad habits which ruined your dreams." Buffy had more tears falling and she tried to fight them back still looking away. "I did wrong to you, I did wrong to you my daughter. I'm so sorry, you always were a good girl my little Buffy please no matter what happens don't stop being you, you are the one and only good thing I to show for my sorry life. Please stay strong in whatever you do. I love you, I've always loved you." Angel finished the letter and looked up to Buffy.

She stood up and with her back to him. He knew she was crying and tried to fight it back. He would wait until she was ready to talk. Would tonight be the night she lost her father and Angel at once? Is this the way her father would leave her, is this the way she'd leave Angel? Would all her dreams end right now? Was it time to let go of skating, was she supposed to leave Angel? Are they supposed to live without one another? Were they supposed to be in love with each other but not be together? It wasn't fair she wanted Angel more than any gold medal, could she ever have a happy ending. Was everything meant to be taken from her so others could be happy? She turned around and Angel saw her eyes were flooded with Buffy.

"He left me, he left me," She sobbed and covered her eyes so he couldn't see her. She did love her father, it wasn't strong but she did love him. He died alone and she couldn't say good bye. "I didn't even get to say good bye." She sobbed harder.

"Buffy," He stood up and she stood there and sobbed and he embraced her before she could fall to the ground. "It's ok Buffy, I'm here." He stroked her back. He pulled her cheeks up so they could see one another. "You tell me what you want." Buffy looked into those brown eyes and all she saw was love, love for her. She wanted him that's what she wanted, she wanted something she couldn't have, the wish she made was to have Angel. But if she walked away from it then she'd lose everything. Is the way she should leave him? 'Angel we can't be.' And then what wish him well and walk out the door? But before she ends it she had to know something.

"Do you love me?" She asked, if he said he wasn't sure then it would be easy to leave but if he said yes then it would nearly impossible to walk away. She would break to pieces. Walking away from skating broke her, it put her down. But now to lose him, someone who made her heart race, made her smile she would shatter and no matter what she would never be able to be put back together again.

"Always," He answered, her eyes shut as tear raced down her cheeks and her heart sank and yet she heard what she wanted to. "I'll always love you Buffy, always." She nodded and more tears fell, her legs felt like jello, how could she leave? Why would she, but he could get hurt. Her heart and soul in a split second made the choice for her.

"I love you too." She said and he captured her lips to his. She pulled herself as close as possible to him, the choice was made. The kiss grew as he wrapped his arms around her. Soon their tongues dueled in each other's mouths and Angel picked her up slightly off the ground and before she hit the wall he stuck his hand out and then eased up against the wall. She was no longer thinking about Riley and her mother's threats, 'forget them all, I've never truly had what I wanted and I'm not going to give him up not for money, not for a man that loves no one but himself and woman who was never a mother' Buffy thought as she kissed Angel. The way he kissed her would tip the Richter scale. He poured all his love he had for her into the kiss. Angel then picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his waist and he carried her off to his room. He didn't bother to shut the door and just placed her on his bed. He was going to show her he loved her.

He reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Buffy placed kisses on his bare shoulders and chest and then back to his lips. He reached around to unclasp her bra and took it off. But before he proceeded further he stopped and looked into her eyes. All she saw in his eyes was warmth, love, love that he had for her.

"Do you want this?" He asked, he always asked, he cared and valued her thoughts something that she wasn't use to. She looked at the locket, he wore it every day it was his way of showing the world he belonged to someone. She then reached for the locket and held it in her hands. To her it had no significance, she bought it one day because it looked nice but Angel it meant so much. She looked back up to him, to his eyes. She leaned forward kissing him indicating yes. The two worked together to get rid of their pants and clothes littered the floor. Angel took a look at her, she was beautiful.

He leaned in for another kiss. She felt safe under him, the weight of his body was like a shield to her, protecting her from the world. She was waiting for him and he slowly slipped in. Buffy let out a gasp, she has never done this, Angel paused for a moment letting her adjust to him. If she showed any sign of pain then he'd stop, he could never hurt her, he wouldn't be able to live with himself is he did. He had to regain himself for this was new to him too.

They both looked up at one another and Angel slowly rocked his hips. He leaned in for another kiss and she held him. He pulled away and made a trail of kisses down her neck marking her. 'Mine, mine, mine,' he thought every time his lips touch her skin. She belonged to him now, it almost felt primal as he kept going. Buffy didn't think she could feel so much from one person. She didn't want to let go ever. He said he loved her, 'I love you' she's barely heard those three words spoken in one sentence. The feeling was getting more intense and Buffy was now comfortable and to show she wanted more she wrapped her legs around his waist. Angel pressed himself up for more support kept going.

"Angel," She whispered which sent a shock down his body knowing he was cause her pleasure and giving himself up to her fully. Their eyes found one another and hers glittered like the stars on the clearest night. His eyes smoldered with love and he leaned in for another kiss. She wrapped her arms around him. His thrusts were faster and he could feel it, building up. Buffy let out more gasps and then felt something in her, a release like every negative feeling, all the sadness, the weight, everything was gone and her head was clear. Angel released in her and trembled and collapsed on her. Buffy wrapped her arms around him. He was trembling, he hoped it was good no perfect he hoped it was perfect. He kissed her cheek and then whispered something in her ear.

"I love you." He kissed her cheek again and then found her lips. She didn't want this to stop for once she could say she was perfectly happy. Happy enough the tears that started to fall were happy ones. Angel felt them and knew what kind of tears they were. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up so he was sitting and she was straddling his lap. They looked at each other again and he ran his fingers though her hair and she leaned in for a hug. He held her, he could for forever, he wanted to. She pulled away and they kissed a soft kiss.

Angel raided his fridge looking for food, sex made him hungry he never felt so hungry before.

"Oh and peanut butter preferably crunchy!" Buffy called from his room.

"Got it!" Angel said and reached for everything that he could carry. He held all the goods and made his way back into his room dumping what he had on the bed. Buffy reached for the strawberries while eating a piece of chocolate. Angel crawled back into bed grabbing the tub of ice cream and opened it. Buffy sat on the bed in one of his shirts that was a dress on her.

"A perfect yum." She said seeing the food. Angel held out a spoonful of ice cream to her and she smiled and ate it. "Mmm this is a dream you have cookie dough fudge mint chip."

"It's my favorite." Angel said and then she held out a piece of chocolate with peanut butter on it and he took a bite and they kissed. "You love chocolate and peanut butter." And she nodded.

"It's the food of the gods." She said and the two laid back in the bed as Angel took another bite of ice cream. "There is something you should know." She said and Angel looked up at her. "That time you spent in the kitchen that was enough time a part." Angel smiled.

"It was." And they leaned in for a kiss but then Angel felt something cold dripping on him. He pulled away and saw ice cream on his chest but before he could reach for a napkin Buffy was already on it. He smiled feeling her tongue licking his chest and taking the ice cream with her. He laughed a little and couldn't believe this was happening. He pulled her up to his lap and kissed her. She pulled away smiling and he tucked some hair behind her ear. Was now a good time to give her the gift he'd been wanting too.

'Angel held the little ring in his hand sighed.

"Hey what's up?" Spike asked and Angel turned around seeing him. "What you have there?" He asked. Spike decided to go to the shop to meet up with Angel before they went to Doyle's for the night.

"Oh nothing." Angel said quickly but Spike knew it was something. So he walked over to Angel to see but Angel tried to hide it. They had a small tussle and then Angel dropped the little silver ring and Spike got on the floor picked it up looking at it as Angel stood there nervously. "It's just a present I was going to give Buffy,"

"Angel this was your mother's claddagh ring." Spike said, he could remember it. Angel looked down at Spike as he held the ring and then Manny walked into the garage seeing Spike on the ground on his knees before Angel holding a ring and got an interesting impression. The two looked up and Manny waved and left leaving them alone. Spike got up and gave the ring back to Angel. "Are you serious mate?"

"I…I don't know I mean it doesn't have to be a sign of engagement." Angel said.

"Oh please."

"It can mean devotion."

"Devotion, marriage means the same thing mate." Spike then looked at the ring. "You're serious about her?"

"I'm crazy about her Spike." Angel answered. "She doesn't have to wear it on her left hand not yet her right just indicates she's in a relationship." Angel explained.

"Well I guess when you feel ready then." Spike said to Angel.'

It was time so while she sat on his lap he reached for the drawer and opened it taking out a box. Angel had his own claddagh ring in the box too but would never wear it unless he was in a serious relationship. Doyle and Cordelia wore theirs all the time and when Cordelia had a son she would give her ring to him so one day he would give it to a girl. Both Cordelia and Doyle had wedding bans but the claddagh ring was a tradition. Angel was nervous, he'd hope she take it.

"I have something to give you." He said and Buffy smiled. He took the lid off the box and set it on the nightstand and Buffy saw two silver rings. Angel took the smaller of the ring out first and then set the box on the nightstand with his ring still in it. "My people, we have a tradition and well it's called a claddagh ring." Angel was so nervous. Buffy looked at it wondering where this was going. "You wear it as a sign of devotion the hands mean friendship, the crown is loyalty and the heart is love." He then took her right hand and slipped it on her finger. "Wear it with the heart facing towards you it means you belong to someone." He explained and then he reached for his and put it on his right ring finger and then showed her.

Buffy looked down at the silver ring and then back at him. She smiled and took the ring off her finger and put it on her left hand. Angel looked up at her as she did this. She then took his off putting it on his left ring finger too.

"You put it on the wrong finger." She said softly and he smiled and pulled her closer for a kiss.

"Is that a yes?" He asked her pulling away from the kiss.

"Yes that's a yes." She replied and kissed him again wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her closer and he slowly rolled her back on the bed never breaking the kiss.

Buffy laid in Angel's arms as he stroked her back gently. She smiled as her head rested on his chest hearing his heart beat, it beat for her and her alone. She nuzzled into his chest literally purring and he smiled.

"We can make it through May right?" She asked and she felt him nod.

"We will." It was a promise.

"I'm so sleepy but I still want,"

"What you couldn't possibly," Angel thought and Buffy giggled. "I mean not that I wouldn't."

"No I'm spent, pleasantly numb even." She said smiling. "No I don't want to sleep I want this to keep lasting." He kissed the top of her smiling and knew the feeling.

"Sleep we'll make more ok." He said and felt her nod on his chest.

"Angel," She paused. "I feel like I've always wanted to."

"And what's that?" He asked.

"Just a girl, just a normal girl falling asleep in the arms of her boyfriend." She answered and he smiled and kissed her head again. She sighed and closed her eyes and Angel closed his eyes as sleep was taking over. They would somehow deal with Riley and her mother but right now it was just about them.

Ooooo they did it and they said 'I love you'. Also Riley looks like he might be growing a set. Sad about Buffy's father, the next chapter Angel will support her this time around. So now with Angel and Riley especially now that Angel gave her a ring…should the boys duke it out, fist to fist, backs against the walls kind of fight? Hmmm we'll see. More to come I will tell you this you're going to hate Riley but don't worry Buffy's white knight will be around ok no more the chapter is over you'll have to wait for the next one. Comments and reviews are welcomed thanks for reading once more.