Author's Note: Look, I've updated!
: Throws confetti :
Ok, enough with that. For future reference, some parts of this chapter, including the beginning, is flashbacks and memories. It's a little glimpse into Sanzo and Rayne's past. That way, everybody else will know what the hell is going on (or at least understand their little mental problems). Anyways, enjoy! - BH
Kouryou stood waiting patiently as the young girl his master had rescued dried off.
'Rayne, that's your name, right? That's funny, seeing as how Master Koumyou found you in a thunderstorm. It must be something about him; rescuing two orphans from the water. Two drowned rats; that's what we are.'
A young girl scrubbed furiously at a spot on the temple. Her face was caked with soot and sweat from cleaning the fire pit over an hour ago. So absorbing was her task that she didn't even notice the footsteps behind her.
'Hey! Demon-girl! Why can't you do your chores right, huh? I want you to lick that floor clean!'
The cleric who spoke in such harsh tones drew his foot back and kicked the girl square in the stomach; knocking her a few feet. He closed the distance between them and smirked as he saw her lip was bleeding; dripping onto the floor.
'You better clean that up too.'
Instead of defending herself, the child simply lay there; pained and afraid to move. Her lip continued to bleed onto the front of her ragged robe.
'I said CLEAN IT UP, YOU LAZY FREAK!'
He drew back again, ready to kick; when suddenly a sharp pain shot up his other leg as a blunt object collided with it.
Falling to his knees, he whirled around to come face to face with Kouryou, Master Koumyou's star pupil. The boy held a broom in his hand, which he had obviously cracked the monk in the kneecaps with.
'Leave her alone. Believe me; beating up a little girl isn't something to brag about. If you don't leave her alone, I'll inform Master Koumyou.'
He raised the broom to strike the man again; but fortunately didn't have to fall through with his threat. Startled, the monk picked himself up off the floor and fled the room.
Kouryou dropped the broom and ran to Rayne, helping her to sit up. He gently wiped the blood off her lip.
'He's gone now. I won't let him do that again, I promise.'
He painfully gazed at his friend's disturbing expression. Her face remained blank, yet a stream of tears coursed silently down her face. He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly; attempting to sooth her.
'I promise, Rayne. When we grow up, you'll never have to suffer like this again.'
Shuei stood with Kouryou out on the deck of the temple as rain poured ominously outside. A flash of lightning brilliantly lit up the face of the young monk standing beside him; but Shuei didn't need to see his friend's face to know he was troubled. He waited patiently, until the boy was ready to speak.
'I can't stand the way they treat her, Shuei. I can withstand the jeers and names they call me, but her...they treat her worse than me. Making her do all the heavy chores; calling her demon spawn and mongrel. She's not even a half-breed, but since she lives with us they call her that. She doesn't deserve it; not someone like her. When we're grown up, I'll make sure no one ever treats her like that again. I'll never let her suffer again.'
Kouryou stood sweeping the temple yard as Rayne came boiling out of the temple, nearing knocking him over in the process. He didn't have to wait long to find out what she was excited about.
'Kouryou; Master Koumyou says my mother has contacted him saying that she wants to see me! She says everything'll be different now and I can come live at home again! And she says all my sisters want to see me too! Shuei's going to take me to see them today. Want to go? Oh, I want you to meet them! Please!'
The sight of the blonde monk finally descending from upstairs brought a sigh of relief to Ina. Her relief was short-lived, however, as she saw the cooling anger reflected in his eyes. She jumped to her feet and met him halfway as he strode across the room. His eyes calmly surveyed the room while Ina desperately tried to get some answers out of him.
"Sanzo, please…..Miss Anni, is she…?"
"Where is she?"
The dark-haired girl stopped in mid-sentence as confusion related to the priest's question washed over her. "W-What? What do you mean?"
Sanzo let his eyes rove over the group in the dining room once more before settling his gaze once more on the girl in front of him. Irritation and another emotion, one which Ina identified as worry, marred his expression. Although the irritation was more prominent than the worry. "I mean Rayne. Where is she?" He retrieved his lighter and cigarette while he waited for a response. Lighting one, he returned to staring at Ina.
The young woman blinked a few times and lowered her gaze. Apparently, being stared at intently made her nervous. "She's….she's……um……."
"She's on the roof."
A voice to his right caused Sanzo to shift his gaze to Enoki, who was seated on the counter. She took a puff off her cigarette and gestured to the ceiling. Something in her nonchalant attitude made Sanzo think Rayne pulled this stunt quite often.
"And why exactly is she on the roof?"
The emerald-haired girl shrugged. "I dunno. She goes up there a lot when…..things like this happen." She became rather interested in stubbing out her cigarette as she spoke the latter part of the sentence. Hakkai, who was seated beside Ina, spoke up next.
"So, this sort of thing happens often? Your mother and Rayne getting into a fight?"
Enoki nodded and shrugged at the same time, still unwilling to meet anybody's eyes.
"Yeah, it does. Mother'll come home drunk and start yelling at me, or Ina, or Jana, and Rayne'll jump in and tell her off. So she hits her. It's gotten worse lately, you know. Rayne's gotten to where she won't put up with anything from Mom, so……." She trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. She hopped off the counter and turned to face the window, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. Ina took up the slack in the story.
"She's been hitting Raynie more often. Sometimes she hits her because Rayne won't let her hit Jana or Noki. Or me. But sometimes, when Rayne's not here…." She hung her head. "Sometimes she hits us anyway. But usually it's only because we sassed her." She added the last quickly, as though defending the woman. A hand on her shoulder quickly dispelled any thought of defending Anni, however. Hakkai spoke softly to her, but she could hear the sadness in his voice.
"That is no excuse. She shouldn't strike any of you, and I'm sure that none of you could say anything so horrible that it would call for such violence like we just witnessed. Please, don't ever blame yourself for what she's done. Her actions are unjustified." His green eyes reflected an almost pleading sadness as he spoke to her. Ina, unable to speak for fear she would begin to cry, simply nodded.
"But Rayne's the one who bears the brunt of it. She the oldest so Mom goes after her." Enoki spoke suddenly, turning back to face them. Silence settled over the group. Gojyo put his arm around Enoki to comfort her, while Hakkai kept a reassuring hand on Ina's shoulder. It was Sanzo who finally broke the silence.
"Where are Janachi and Goku?"
Ina gestured to the corner of the room, where the youngest Shuichi sister and the monkey were sleeping peacefully. "They've been asleep for about an hour now. Should I wake them?"
The blonde nodded once and turned to Gojyo. "Get them up and awake. And the rest of you, start packing." With that, he started back up the stairs. Worry flitted across the water-sprite's face for about a half a second, but then he was across the dining room and poking the young man asleep on the floor with his boot.
"Wake up, you stupid chimp!"
Kouryou, now a young man and known as Genjyo Sanzo, stood outside of his house watching the figure of the young woman standing in his yard. Rain poured from the sky, drenching the both of them, yet neither moved. The young woman's hair was cut short, like a man's, and she wore a monk's robe. She stood only a few feet from him, but the torrential downpour made visibility minimum at best. And yet, even all the rain couldn't mask the fact that she was crying. It took all he could not to break down and cry himself. What was she doing here? Why? She shouldn't be here at all. Millions of things raced through his mind, and in light of the current situation, he did what he thought was best: he tried to push her away. Make her leave, so she doesn't get hurt.
"What in the hell are you doing here, Rayne?"
The young woman took a faltering step towards him and clutched at the collar of her robes. Her tears flowed freely, but that didn't impair her voice.
'I followed you from the temple, Kou! It's my dad, he's...'
She looked down; pained and frightened. It was possible she had risked everything coming here. To come here for what might be nothing. Of course, she would never be sure if she didn't take a chance now.
'He died, Kou. In an attack on the temple. Demons, they were looking for the Maten scripture.'
She stared at him, waiting for him to speak; waiting for a sign of comfort from him that would assure her everything she had done wasn't for nothing. His stomach gave a sickening lurch when he realized what she wanted, he couldn't give her. Not if he was going to push her away. He would have to make her hate him.
He gave an uncaring shrug, as if to say 'And, your point is…?'
'I know. What's that got to do with me?'
She snapped her head up and regarded him with a mixture of shock and betrayal. He couldn't have made her feel more desolate if he had walked over and slapped her. Of course, he should have counted on the fact that the woman usually recovered quickly. Before he could blink, or put his arms up to push her away, at least physically, she had stumbled over and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Unable to move, he was forced to stare her dead in the face and witness the struggle between determination and desolation in her eyes. She wanted more than anything for him to understand and comfort her. She didn't want to process the scathing apathy in his voice a few moments ago. Because if she acknowledged the fact that he no longer cared, she would simply be forced to give up. If she did not have him, she no longer had anything. Nothing, not even her own mother, was as vital to her reason for living as the man standing in front of her. When he rejected her, she would shut down.
'Let me stay with you! You said anywhere you went, I could go. I want to be with you!'
He tried his best not to be overwhelmed by the grief emanating from the woman in front of him. The raw emotions that laced her words had cut him clean to his soul. In her eyes he could see her will to go on hanging on the edge. Their entire childhood they had always had each other. Now that her father and Master Koumyou were gone, all they had was each other. And after all that had happened in their lives, when she lost the last person keeping her at that place, the temple were so much tragedy had happened, she had sought him out. The one person she could count on to keep her sanity intact. And now he was forced to make a decision to keep her with him (and admit he did actually have feelings) or to push her away and possibly break this fragile girl he had worked so hard to protect all his life. As he watched a fresh bought of tears begin to fall, he realized he couldn't leave her alone again. Not after all she had been through. He didn't think he could do that to her, or to himself. However, he would have to make it clear that it didn't matter to him whether she stayed or went. That way, she might not be so inclined to stay with him once she found firm footing somewhere else. He would rather she left him eventually rather staying with him out of some kind of twisted sense of need.
''Well, I'm not stopping you! Be with me then, see if I care!'
He pushed her away and strode towards the house, not waiting to see if she followed. He didn't slow down until he was well inside. There, he headed for the bedroom to fetch a towel for him and her. It wasn't until he had wiped most of the water off his face and hair that he realized some of the wetness on his face was tears.
Outside, a young woman stared through the veil of rain at the house that would be her home for the next three years. And to the man inside, waiting for her, she spoke three words so softly that even she barely heard them.
'Fine; I will.'
(Jump.)
The raven-haired girl laughed as the comment swam through her mind. A short, bitter laugh.
Jump, right.
In reality, being dead might actually solve of her problems. But her entire life had revolved around surviving, and she wasn't about to give up that way of life simply because she was having a crappy day.
(Running into a pack of demons on the way home, finding you long-lost fiancé and being beaten by your drunken mother is your idea of a crappy day? Damn, you're getting conditioned, girl. Haha, all in a day's work. Maybe tomorrow you'll get hit by a train and mobbed in the alley!)
She rolled her eyes as yet another argument started in her head. "Oh, shut it."
"Talking to the voices again?"
Whirling around, she came face to face with the source of her seven years of sleepless nights. She gave a sarcastic snort and turned her back to him, staring out over the sleeping city around her.
"What should I do? Bow down to the infamous Genjyo Sanzo? Sorry, but I have a strong distaste for monks. Not my type, you know."
"This coming from somebody who pretended to be a monk for three years? Don't tell me you've changed your spots."
"Yeah, well; big mistake on my part. See, I did it to be with a person I thought I cared about."
A faint flicking noise brought her attention back to him, just in time to see the red dot of a cigarette end appear out of thin air. "You know those things are going to kill you."
The blonde monk ignored her, instead opting to close the distance between them. He came to stand beside her by the roof's edge and regarded her coolly over the cigarette now hanging from his lips. "In that case, I should probably smoke two."
The woman beside him put her hands on her hips. "Don't tell me the priest made a joke!"
He took a puff off the cigarette and turned his attention to the town below them. "Actually, I thought it would be doing you a favor. Considering you keep looking at me like you want to kill me."
The ensuing silence told him that, like so many times in their youth, he had gotten the fiery woman riled up. He attempted to keep a smirk off his face at that thought. Rather, he preferred to enjoy the silence while it lasted. Shuichi Rayne wasn't known for being quiet for long periods of time. Much to his irritation. For a few moments they simply stood there, silently contemplating the scenery before them. However, a weary sigh from his left broke him out of his thought process.
"So, I take it that you didn't come all the way up here just to smoke a cigarette and share a friendly jabbing contest with me."
He was silent, smoking his cigarette instead of answering her query. Although it didn't show on the outside, Genjyo Sanzo was having a very conflicting internal struggle. On the one hand, telling her what he originally came up here to tell her would mean:
He would have to admit, on some level, that he had some kind of concern for her safety.
Playing along with the Merciful Goddess's little scheme to amuse herself. Leave it to the hag to find the one thing which could possibly show a tear in the shell he constantly put himself in.
On the other hand, he could turn around, go back downstairs, turn in for the night and leave this whole thing behind him when they left in the morning. Just act unfazed, calm and rational as he always was. It shouldn't be that hard, after all: he hadn't seen the girl (woman, he mentally added) in over seven years, so why the hell should he give a damn about her?
(You know why, so stop lying to yourself)
Without realizing a conscious choice, he felt himself asking a question which echoed to him over the years from a time that seemed eons ago.
"What the hell are you doing here, Rayne?"
She seemed surprised by his question. She turned to fix him in a hollow, dull gaze; her eyes lacking any signs of life. "What do you mean? I thought it was obvious I worked here."
Sanzo gritted his teeth. If it was one thing he and the woman in front of him had in common, it was sarcastic wit. Unfortunately, the monk was not in a witty mood.
"Don't be goddamned smart-ass. You know what in the hell I meant: why do you stick around this shit hole?"
His words didn't even ignite a response in her eyes. Instead, she shrugged wearily and sighed. "Don't know. Food's great and the pay's good. What's it to you?"
He was struck dumb for a moment, his mind racing. He couldn't fathom how his childhood friend, (she of the extreme hotheadness, bouts of insanity, and speaking her mind) could turn into this cold, broken, unresponsive woman in front of him. It was like she had lost even the most primal form of emotions.
(Is this what I'm like?)
The thought crept into his subconscious like a vapor, a wisp of realization just out of reach. However, he didn't have time to contemplate his outlook on life at the moment. Determined to get something, any kind of response from her (before I shoot her for annoying me so damned much) he reached out, grabbed both shoulders and shook her like hell.
"Damn you. Stop feigning idiocy and listen to what I'm asking you! Why in the hell do you stay here, taking beatings from your dead beat mother and serving beer to drunks who want nothing better than to pinch your ass everyday! Why are you degrading yourself? Answer me!"
(There.)
He saw it: a spark. Her entire body roared to life with a fire he hadn't seen before. He couldn't get his hands away fast enough apparently; she gripped his wrists and flung them away from her. Breathing hard, her eyes glinting in the darkness around them like sapphires, she let loose a barrage of emotions that had engulfed her for almost a decade.
"What in the hell am I suppose to do, huh? Tell me, you pompous ass! How dare you, how dare you come back into my life when I haven't heard a fucking peep since you left and try to tell me how much my life is screwed up and how to change it! Don't you think I'd like to?
My little sister cries herself to sleep at night because she had to doctor my wounds after mom slaps me around for an hour. My other sisters get tired of having to clean up after our mother when she passes out in the kitchen. The only way they get fed is if I work and take care of the bills, because our mother's either passed out or too damned messed up to handle it. I can't even feel my ass at the end of the day because it's been pinched so much. But you make it sound like it's so easy to just leave it all behind! What about Jana, Enoki and Ina? Why should I leave them here to be treated the same way I am!
And where do you get off telling me how to live my life! Like yours is so much better. And don't give me that 'I'm cool and collected secretly wounded' bullshit. You're not so fricking special. My teacher died to, you know! And unlike you, I stayed there and watched that temple rot around me, while you went off on some gallant quest to find his murderers. But you're good at that, leaving people. You left me then and you left me seven years ago so why in the hell are you giving a shit now? Why don't you just do what you're good at: leave. Forget about me and let me handle my god damned life myself! God damn you!"
He stood there and let her explode, pushing him and scratching at him until her throat became too hoarse to yell and tears threatened to break her voice. Exhausted, she slumped against wall bordering the roof's edge. It wasn't until he was sure she had completely run out of steam did he even attempt to answer her.
"You can come with us."
She gave him a weary look. "I just told you, I can't leave the—"
"Bring them with you. You can all come."
His response issued silence from her. She sat there, regarding him with a mixture of disbelief and hope etched across her face. He waited patiently while she mulled it over. Finally, she spoke in a broken, cautious voice.
"Are you sure you're all right with that?"
Something clicked in his head, and he immediately fell to his conditioned response: not caring. Even at the same time he was trying to protect this woman, his guard kept him from letting himself become attached to her. He shrugged indifferently and turned away from her.
"I couldn't care less what in the hell—"
"You bastard."
Her voice was slow low he didn't catch her response to begin with. But it didn't take long to figure out what she was talking about.
In and instant, she was up and stalking towards him. Grabbing him by the collar of his robe, she forced him to look at her. He tried to push her away, partly because he was actually uncomfortable being in close proximity to her, but to no avail. Her words were low, but every one of the struck a chord in him.
"Don't you do this to me again. You're trying to put all of this off on me and act like it was my idea to trail behind you. Like to it doesn't affect you in any way whether I go or not. You're not doing it again, not like last time. God damn you; look me in the eye and tell me you want me with you or go to hell!"
Sanzo was transported back to a time, seven years ago, when he faced her in the same situation. He read the same desperation and desolation in her eyes that was there on that rainy day. But even through all that, he was fighting to maintain indifference.
'Let me stay with you! You said anywhere you went, I could go. I want to be with you!'
The words of what seemed like another lifetime came slamming into his mind like a sharp fragment of glass. He winced as the pain he left that day, the pain of watching her face contort when she realized he didn't care about her, sliced through him. No matter how damned collected he tried to act, deep down within him he knew she wouldn't survive him doing that to her again.
He wouldn't survive it, either.
Forcing himself to appear calm and rational, he regarded with a level, almost cool gaze. "Fine. I………..it doesn't bother me."
For what seemed like eternity, she simply stared at him. Then, she dropped her hands from his collar. He stiffened, still aware of the fact that she was practically nose-to-nose with him (or actually, nose to forehead). She shook her head and moved around him, headed for the door which lead inside. She paused after it.
"I suppose that will do for now," she quipped, before stalking back inside, leaving the blonde-haired monk to wonder why his heart was beating so fast.
BH: Whoooo-hooo! That's the longest chapter I've ever written, folks! And it's only that long because I wanted to be nice and not leave you guys with a major cliff hanger. Plus, my trusty co-worker has to read all of my work beforehand, so I made it ultra long just to annoy him. But anyways, R&R!
Sanzo: (glares at BH over his glasses) This is giving me a headache…