Chapter 11: Belief
It was as if Luke had woken at last from an unpleasantly long nap. With no effort on his part, he felt stronger than he'd felt in a long time, and his life no longer seemed so directionless. Thoughts about his parentage didn't send his emotions into a dizzy spin any longer, and he was even able to contemplate his immediate future without any nausea or stomach churning. He found that he'd inadvertently gained muscles from his many practice sessions, though he'd lost weight overall.
Most profound was the change that had come over his spirit. He was more centered, more confident, and because of it, more balanced, both on a personal level and as a Force sensitive.
Most amazing were his views on what Darth Vader had revealed to him at Cloud City. If Vader was his father, so be it. There was nothing he could do about it at this point. He didn't like it very much, but he accepted it. Besides, he also realized that Darth Vader was not quite the same man that had once held the name of Anakin Skywalker. Being able to view the two men as separate entities helped immensely in finding an inner acceptance of this news.
Probably the one thing about his change that the other members of the Alliance noted the fastest was his chosen style of dress. Mindful of what the princess had once whispered to him, that it didn't matter what he was, but what other people thought he was, he purposely dressed in a way that would exude power. He wanted there to be no doubt as to his abilities. Such an image could do nothing but benefit his future dealings with Jabba (if he ever had any), and instill confidence in his mission to rescue Han as well as to successfully deal with Vader and the Emperor so the Rebels could at last win this war with the Empire. He felt self-conscious at first, as if the black outfit he had chosen to wear drew attention to himself in a way that his previous flight suits hadn't. But he also acknowledged that if he ever fully attained the rank of a Jedi Knight, then he was going to have to get used to a certain amount of attention. He did, however, stop introducing Leia to people using her title, for which he suspected she was eternally grateful.
His new lightsaber drew little attention, probably because few ever saw it ignited, thus no one noted that the color of the blade was different than the one he'd found at Ben's hut. He kept that one as a back up, but set it aside, just as Ben had many years before. The new saber put a whole new spin on his practice sessions in the hangar bay.
The X-wings and Y-wings and other personal ships had been moved out of the hangar, not at his insistence, but to be kept in readiness as the massive offensive that the Rebellion was planning grew ever closer. Since he now had so much empty space to use, he'd lined the remaining components and tools and fuel equipment against the far wall so that it would be out of his way. He now had as unlimited an area to practice in as one could get on a ship in space, and he planned to make use of it.
Setting the firing remote to shoot stun blasts at an accelerated rate, Luke tossed the ball into the air, and took a moment to find that peaceful center inside himself that made it easy for him to channel the Force. Then he ignited his saber, the prearranged signal for the remote to begin its routine.
It began immediately to shoot stun beams at Luke from different angles in fast succession. The barrage didn't faze Luke, who danced left, then right, forward, and back in a complicated maze of constant footwork. Almost as if he was unaware of what he was doing, he swung the saber back and forth, behind him, to the side, two handed, then one handed, then both again as the blade circled around in a blaze of green light. The white walls mirrored the green glow, the deflected stun blasts harmlessly bouncing off those walls without scoring the polished metal. He didn't want to mark up the hangar bay any more than he already had the day he and the princess had practiced together. His lightsaber was a satisfying blur of green as the deflection drill continued all the way across the cavernous hangar bay.
At the farthest corner from the door, he straightened, almost saluting, then flicked his wrist in a prearranged signal for the remote to end its program. The heavy ball fell to the floor with a dull thud.
Leia spoke from where she'd been observing near the door. "Luke, I know it's been months since you began to focus on your own training, but I still didn't know that you could do something like that!"
It didn't take a Force sensitive to know that she was lying. She knew very well what he was capable of.
Luke had been aware that Leia had been watching him for some time. At first he'd been offended by her covert surveillance, as if she didn't quite trust him to take care of himself, but later was rather glad to have her opinions on his training. If she was going to watch anyway, he might as well ask her how he could improve their chances in the coming mission to rescue Han.
He was glad he'd done that; she had a unique political way of looking at things, and had offered several suggestions on the best way to treat Jabba in order to get the outcome he desired. She had even come up with the idea to pretend to be a bounty hunter who had captured Chewbacca as a way to get the Wookie into the palace. Her role in rescuing Han had doubled in importance at that point.
His own role as their ultimate trump card all hinged on if Leia was successful in thawing Han and getting him out of the palace or not. Either he had to rescue Chewie and the droids from Jabba's incarceration, or if things turned bad, as he suspected they would, he would end up rescuing all of them. His abilities had grown by leaps and bounds since Leia had started giving her input into his training, but he was secretly reluctant to try out his skills for the first time in a combat situation.
However, he had yet to expound on these concerns to the princess. Since he knew that he had to radiate confidence in himself as well as this mission in order to encourage the others to believe that they could pull this off, Luke realized that it was to his advantage just now to pretend he didn't notice her bluffing.
When had he become such an able manipulator? Had it all really started with the princess whispering to him that it only mattered what others thought he was? Luke now realized how that quiet and hurried conversation had truly begun his own understanding of the power of perception.
Right at this moment, instead of saying more that pertained to the training exercise he'd just finished, Leia glanced at the lethal green blade still humming at Luke's side. "When did you get that lightsaber? I thought the one you got from Ben had a red blade. I've never seen you use this one."
Luke fingered the power switch, the blade vanished, and he carefully attached it to his belt. "I made this one."
Leia did her best not to react to this news, but she gaped anyway. "You made it?" she echoed in flat astonishment. "When did you find the time to make it?"
Luke did his own bluffing now, vaguely admitting, "Recently."
"I didn't know you knew how to do that."
Luke smothered his smile until only a hint of emotion showed. "I didn't either. It was just one of those things." His shrug was as noncommittal as his words.
Leia next gestured to the remote. "That was an impressive display."
He wasn't so successful at strangling his emotion this time, his pride in his skill with a lightsaber showing just a bit. "At least in that session, I didn't cut the remote in half. We're running out of the big ones that I can program to be fast enough to do me any good." He hadn't meant to be anything but informative, but Leia's eyes bugged out so much that he knew he'd made another mistake in spite of his good intentions. "That sounded like I was gloating; sorry." Master Yoda would have been highly displeased with him.
Leia's look of surprise turned into eyes slitted in calculation. "Perhaps you have the right to gloat."
But Luke shook his head. "A Jedi never gloats."
"A Jedi?" Her tone held just enough incredulity in it to make him uncomfortable. "When did you start thinking of yourself as a Jedi?"
If he'd been uncomfortable before, it was nothing compared to how he was feeling now. Instead of answering her, though, he asked, "Is there something I can do for you, Princess?"
In spite of the formality, or perhaps because of it, Leia's eyes narrowed even more. "You can cut out the princess stuff, for one thing. I want to discuss Han's rescue plans with you one more time, not to be given the royal treatment."
Abashed, Luke had to smile his amusement. "I'll let Han do that when he gets back. He does it so well."
"Yes, I can't wait." Her tone now held a hint of sarcastic cynicism that made Luke laugh.
"I'm going to tell him that you said that."
Merriment suddenly gone, Leia flatly remarked, "I hope you can, Luke."
Always sensitive to her slightest moods, Luke too grew serious. "Hey, what's the matter?"
"Just worrying," Leia admitted in sudden exhaustion.
That statement took Luke aback. "You've never been the type to worry about something you can't control. What's worrying you specifically?"
Leia defensively crossed her arms over her stomach. "We never did decide what to do if you get captured, but Jabba decides to torture you indefinitely instead of throwing you into the Sarlacc pit right away."
Luke gave a tolerant half smile. "I don't think you have anything to worry about on that score. Remember the intel that Major Derlin brought back from his last reconnaissance to Jabba's Palace?"
This reminder did nothing to alleviate Leia's anxiety. "The fact that Major Derlin was able to tell us that Jabba frequently goes out on his sail barge to 'deal with prisoners,' meaning feed them to the Sarlacc, doesn't make me feel much better in this instance."
"But don't forget all the stories that Lando's been able to tell us from his undercover position as one of Jabba's few human guards."
Leia scowled. "The fact that Lando's cover is still secret doesn't encourage me much right now, either."
Luke gave a disbelieving laugh. "Jabba's fed his last thirteen victims to 'the almighty Sarlacc.'"
"I just don't want you to become victim number fourteen."
Again came his laugh of incredulity. "You know that won't happen, Leia. We've planned this mission so well that it can't fail. We have contingency plans for everything, then contingency plans for those contingency plans." He shrugged, giving her his half smile again. "What more do you want?"
Leia closed her eyes and sighed before looking at him in remorse. "I want this to be over, and both you and Han back safe and sound. I won't sleep until then."
Luke gusted a sigh of exasperation. "Leia, none of us have ever led what you would call safe lives. We'd be bored if we did."
That statement brought out one of Leia's rare smiles. "What I wouldn't do for a little boredom right about now."
Luke chuckled as he placed the remote on a workbench for later use. Then he and Leia headed out of the hangar and into the corridors of the Alliance ship.
"It's getting more and more crowded around here," Luke softly commented as they walked. "I'll almost be relieved to get to Tatooine where there is more space than even I could want."
At that innocent comment, Leia frowned. "You've become quite the solitary person, Luke. Even General Rieekan has noticed it."
Luke shrugged. "I like my privacy as much as the next man." With a sly look at the princess walking at his side, added, "Or woman." It was an oblique reference to the way that Leia had always fiercely guarded her privacy ever since he'd known her. Commissioning her own ship was her latest endeavor in finding an hour or two of uninterrupted solitude per day.
"Have you recorded your message for Jabba yet?" Leia asked instead of responding to his teasing.
"No, I plan to do that tonight," Luke answered, dancing around several passing crew members as he did.
"I can't believe we'll be leaving for Tosche Station tomorrow. It seems like it's taken ages to reach this point, and at the same time like we just got back from Cloud City last week."
Luke eyed Leia. "Are you sure that you'll be able to trust Lando if it comes to him helping you in case of an emergency?"
Leia heaved a beleaguered sigh, and rolled her eyes. "You mean, have I forgiven Lando for the role he played in Han's carbonization so that I can accept his help now?"
Luke gave a small wince. "I've always wondered if you held some kind of a grudge against Lando for what he did."
"It wasn't what he did, but what Vader did." The amount of rancor in her voice was substantial.
Luke winced again, wondering how Leia would take it if he was ever brave enough to tell her of his parental relationship with Vader. He suspected that she wouldn't take it particularly well.
"Are you sure that Artoo understands what he has to do?"
"Artoo is one intelligent little droid," Luke said. "You know that."
Leia almost smiled. "It won't be the first time that Artoo unit has held someone's destiny in his databanks."
"As long as he has room enough to hold my lightsaber, he can do whatever he wants with his databanks."
"Don't tell Threepio anything about this mission," Leia suddenly warned.
"You don't have to remind me," Luke dryly remarked back. "Threepio is great at what he does, but unfortunately, keeping secrets isn't what he does. He'd be blabbing to Jabba the Hutt every single detail about this mission if he knew a thing about it. It's best that he knows nothing."
Leia agreed. "He can't tell what he doesn't know."
"Artoo, on the other hand..." Luke was now thinking of how the droid had said nothing even to Threepio about Dagobah or Yoda since their return. "I know we can trust him with anything... even messages from desperate princesses." And he bumped Leia's hip lightly with his own.
Leia glanced up at him out of the corners of her eyes. "Are you flirting with me, Skywalker?"
Luke looked innocent. "And incur Han's wrath?" he joked. "It would be like flirting with my sister."
"What do you know about sisters?" Leia asked just as teasingly. "It isn't like you've ever had one."
Luke smiled warmly. "I'll be your honorary brother if you'll be my honorary sister."
Another of Leia's rare smiles beamed out of her; it was obvious that she felt delighted at this suggestion. "I bet even Han could live with that."
"Well then, honorary sister, how about some dinner?"
Leia linked her arm with his. "Honorary brother, it would be my pleasure."
A multitude of Rebels surreptitiously stared at Luke throughout dinner, but he pretended not to notice. All that attention came with being a Jedi.
Determined not to worry about the mission he was leaving on tomorrow, he ate his dinner with good humor, even the parts he didn't like, and cheerfully bid Leia good-night at the cross corridor that led to his quarters and to her ship. A minute later, he was surrounded by the silence of his cabin.
"Artoo," he called the second he had entered. "I want you to record a message to be played only to Jabba the Hutt. Do you understand?"
The little droid beeped some whistles that Luke hoped was an affirmative. He made certain his lightsaber was attached to his belt and took his place in front of the astromech droid, once again reminding himself that it wasn't what he was or wasn't that was important, but what the recipient of this message thought he was. If he showed his own unwavering belief in what he was saying, then others would have that belief, too. It was all a matter of perception. Without giving himself time to question what he was going to say, he began speaking in the most pleasantly authoritative voice that he could.
*"Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo."
The End
*from 'Return of the Jedi' by Lawrence Kasdan and George Lucas