The Polar Carp

by Bearthsong

After being banished by his famous father, the Mayor of Nystullum, Captain Marney Raddek has returned home with his odd new family to the water-world of Mon Cala as a low-status garbage scow operator for the Empire. His father, now known as the war hero Admiral Raddus, offers him a chance to redeem himself by working as a double agent for the Rebel Alliance.

11. Hero of the Hour

3

Chapter Eleven: Hero of the Hour

The overhaul and repairs to The Polar Carp were finally complete, and so the small band of newly-recruited spies departed from the Docking Bay/Service Hangar of The Profundity without delay in order to "pick up the trash" on Rondirak 12. The admiral had told them that their agent on the planetoid had arranged with the Base for them to be given safe passage to haul away the trash.

"I don't know, Cap'n," Jalleck admitted once they were out of range of The Profundity, "something about this mission doesn't feel quite right to me. It seems more like it's a training exercise, or some kind of mock-assignment."

"Seems that way to me, too," Lyna agreed with the recently-appointed Chief Engineer, "Sort of like a test. I don't care what your father says, Marney, we're not going to let you 'infiltrate' this base alone. We need to work together as a team."

Raddek sighed. He knew that they wanted to help him, but really this was supposed to be his mission. The Polar Carp was only being used as a ruse to gain entry to the Base.

"Lyna, you know that your main job is to keep the kids safe," he told her, "If I get captured, your orders are to take the Carp and get out of there."

"So now you're giving stupid orders—like your father?" Lyna asked angrily, "Jal and Yabecca can take command of the vessel, and Rixxi and Sal will help them. I'm your wife and your First Mate, Master Marney, and I'll be bog-draggled if I'm going to let you do this on your own."

"TT2 can help me," Marney retorted to his wife, "We may as well use her, since she's been such a pain-in-the-ass to me so far with her scolding and nagging. She's a little trash compactor, so she'd be the perfect spy-partner to bring along."

TT2, a floating, cylindrical creature with blinking pink lights, glided over to her mon calimari captain. The crew always referred to the droid as "she", since her personality program was patterned after Qualle's mother Quille.

"Captain Marney Raddek," TT2 chided him, "You should listen to your wife. Admiral Raddus is nothing but a big bloat-fish for giving us such a dirt-bag of an assignment."

Qualle followed his creation onto the scow's bridge.

"Mistress Lyna," Qualle interjected, "May I make a suggestion? Rather than you risking your life for this rather ridiculous mission, why don't you send me in your place? I have no quarnlets at home and since I have joined the crew TT2 has become my child. I must go to protect her and to make sure the Captain keeps his dumb ass out of trouble...besides, I hear that Emperor Palpatine keeps a pristine, crystal fountain on Rondirak 12. I must leave a special gift for Palpatine in the Emperor's Fountain."

"It makes sense, Cap'n," Jalleck agreed, "I mean...the part about Qualle going with you, not about him pissin' in the The Big Pal's fountain. You keep your mind on the mission, Qualle, you quirky ol' quarren!"

"Qualle, my quarren Squid-Master," TT2 commanded him, "If you urinate in one more fountain, I will be forced to report you to your mother...and then the ink's really going to shoot out into the water."

"Yes, TT2, but you see my mother is back on Mon Cala," Qualle explained patiently, "and you and I may get our brains blown out protecting Captain Marney. There won't be time for maternal reports."

"Yes, there will, Master Tentacle-Beard," TT2 argued, "Your mother has implanted me with an information chip so that she can keep an eye on your antics. I sort out what is important for her to know and download it automatically into her little, mechanical spy-box. She calls it QQ2, from the initials of her son and husband. She's been using it for years to keep an eye on you two."

"Brilliant," Marney said wryly, "Well, it's evident to me, then, that Qualle and TT2 are my spy-mates. Lyna, I need you to command the Carp, since Jal and Yab may need to do some lightning-fast repairs if you guys get shot at trying to escape."

"Very well," Lyna agreed grudgingly, "but if you people don't return I'll come back to kick your trashy little backsides."

With his wife having clarified her intent on the outcome of the mission, Raddek decided to leave it at that. He knew he needed to develop a plan to get himself, Qualle, and TT2 somewhere near the central control panel of the Imperial Base, but according to the map and instructions given to him by his father it was nowhere near the trash compactors and pick-up bays. It was also likely to be heavily guarded, which was no doubt why The Gracious Admiral had referred to the mission as dead simple: Marney would simply deliver the chip just as the guards were shooting him dead.

He continued to mull over the problem in his mind, and he did so for the entire journey. At last, however, they arrived at Rondirak 12 and Raddek ordered them into orbit around the small world. The time for pondering his fate was over, and he was going to have to do something. In desperation, he gathered the crew around him and asked for their opinion. He set up a hologram of the central base and relayed the map instructions to be set up in a 3D landscape. The crew stared at it intently.

"There's no way to get to the central base from the trash depot," Lyna noted in frustration, "How does your fool of a father think you will get in?"

Salken raised his hand. Since the brightly colored orange-and-white mon calamari boy was fairly quiet and did not often offer his opinion, Raddek wanted to encourage him to contribute.

"Sal," he acknowledged the boy, "I want to hear what you think. I really value your perspective on things...so what's your take on all this?"

"A concert, Papa," Sal said to him eagerly, "You said that when Grandfather was telling you about all this, he suggested that we all entertain the Imperial Troops. There's an atrium pictured on this lay-out, probably where the Moff-Mokk rallies his troops and gives them their orders for the day. Its location is central to the base, and it would be the perfect venue for us to give the concert. Me and Rixxi could belt out some tunes on my Sonic Star Guitar, and Mama and you could do your weird 'Chain-up-the-Fish' dance to get the soldiers laughing. Then Mama and Rixxi could do a real-live twi'lek dance for the troops; and while they were being wildly distracted by that, Papa, you could tip-toe off with Mr. Qualle and TT2. You'd lurch down the hall pretending to be drunk, and encourage any guards present to go see the twi'lek girls doing a strip-tease. Then you get Mr. Qualle to insert the chip so that it's done just right, while TT2 pretends to be cleaning the control panel. Then you go running back, tell a bunch of silly jokes to finish the show and we all take off on the Carp, 'Mission Accomplished'. Then you go back to Grandfather and say, 'Piece of scallop-cake, Papa!' and his mouth will fall open like a toad-fish in mating season...and you'll be the Hero of the Hour for a change!"

"Sounds good to me, Sal," Marney agreed, "it's better than any half-assed military strategy I've managed to come up with in the past two days."