Ben:
"Okay, stop laughing. It's not funny." She ignored me of course.
Her giggles filled the air even though she tried hard to stifle them with her hands. Eventually she realized that that wasn't going to work and fully gave herself up to the hysterics. She fell to her knees, still laughing as if possessed as I stared at her.
As I watched her, I slowly began to have the same urge to laugh. "So it's a little funny." I didn't mean for the hose to nearly explode when I turned on the tap. I wasn't even expecting it to work, so you could much to my surprise when the water turned on and the hose went crazy as it flew all over the place, soaking me clean through.
"You can stop laughing now." I tried to wipe my face with my sleeve, but that only spread the water around.
"That is hands down the funniest thing I have EVER seen." She grinned at me, her eyes a light happy brown,
"I'm glad you're amused." I nonchalantly picked the hose up. "You know, you're right. It's actually kind of funny….You know what would make it funnier?" My fingers edged towards the tap.
"Wait, What are you d-" Water gushed out, spraying Sage as she screamed in surprise.
"You are so dead Benny!" She tried to wrestle the hose out of my hands, and succeeded at turning the nozzle towards me, causing me to swallow stale water. I twisted her around and held her securely with the hose raining down water over her head.
For the first time in months-no in almost a year and a half- I felt….happy. Like it was the most natural thing in the world to be out here with Sage.
I caught her hand as she tried to bat me away. All of a sudden it felt like we were too close. Her body was pressed against mine, and I couldn't help but notice how perfect it was. The water dripping from her hair traced a wet path down her neck. Her lips, just inches from mine. It was so easy, if I just leaned in…. She pulled away, just moments before the touch.
I can't remember the last time when I felt like a normal kid. But that happiness came at a cost. Guilt was beginning to set in as I watched her walk away. Water from the discarded hose running into the ground.
It was becoming so easy. Just looking into her eyes made me lose myself. Every day that passes, we get closer and closer. Every day that passes, I start to forget-to forget what I was supposed to be doing-what I was meant to do.
Ben:
"What are we doing Sage."
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean." I turned to gaze at her. She didn't respond. I sighed before I continued on. " are we doing." Before she could cut in with a smart comment I interjected, " And don't say sitting on the roof of a rundown building watching birds take off."
"We're looking for Shane."She had to say his name. Now the guilt came down harder.
We sat in silence for a long time, neither of us turning to look at the other.
"Tell me what happened." Sage stared at me in surprise. "Tell me what really happened."
"I-I don't know what you mean."
"You know what I mean. It's been awhile since I first met you. How is it that you still can't trust me."
"It's not about trust."
I laughed sharply. "Then what is it about?" She didn't answer. I knew she wouldn't.
Sage:
"Why do you keep pushing this?" I narrowed my eyes at him.
"I can tell you're keeping something important from me. Something that if you just tell me, I could help."
"Can't you just trust me when I say that the truth wouldn't affect anything?"
"You still don't understand do you."
"What does that mean?" I snapped at him, anger starting to bubble over. I clenched my hands, trying to control it. If I got too angry, I wouldn't be able to control what happens next.
"I'm here out of my way trying to help you find your boyfriend, and you still don't trust me! It's like you're waiting for me to hand you over to the Overlords or something!" He was agitated. Something else other than me not telling him what happened was bothering him.
"This is all so stupid. Everything." He was mumbling under his breath, but I still heard. I heard every word.
"So that's what you really think don't you." His head jerked up.
"That's not what I meant." His face morphed into shock, but I heard the tone in his voice when he said it.
"What's stopping you then," I asked in a soft voice, barely audible.
The surprise was evident in his face.
"What's stopping you from leaving then. If you really want to leave, why don't you just go. You said it yourself, you're going out of your way to help me. I was doing just fine on my own before you decided to tag along."
I stood up and walked to the edge of the roof and stated at the ground nearly thirty feet away for a moment before I turned to face him again.
"You chose to help me. You can choose to leave. Nothing's holding you back."
He reminded quiet with an unreadable expression on his face.
"I hope you get where you need to go."
As he looked down into his lap, I took a step backwards and dropped down onto the thinning grass on the lawn silently. Stepping in through the first floor window, I grabbed my backpack and left through the backyard.
I was already down the street by the time he realized I was gone.
Ben:
She was wrong. There is something holding me back.
But it's too late to say that now, she was already gone.
Even though she didn't show it, I could tell that she was hurt by what I had said. But I didn't mean it, any of it. And now she's gone.
And knowing her, I probably won't find her again. She would have made sure of that.
As if right on cue, raindrops began to fall and darken my clothing bit by bit with little dashes.
I sighed as I sat there as the rain poured down harder and drenched me. Hal had always been better with stuff like this.
I only have myself to blame for losing her so easily.
My footsteps on the pale beige tiles created puddles of water as I walked into the kitchen. Her backpack was gone. I guess this is the point where I stop being surprised that she's really gone.
I dragged the chair next to the table towards me, ignoring the horrible screeching sound and sat down heavily.
All I could do now was continue with my original plan. Find the Rebel Skitters and join them.
I mean, that's what I wanted right? That's the guilt that made me say those things.
I'd like to think it was luck when I spotted the folded piece of paper stuck on the fridge with a Mickey Mouse magnet. It could only have been from her; the paper wasn't there this morning.
Pulling the paper out from under the magnet, I fingered it in my hands for a moment, wondering what I should do.
Sage:
The rain was pounding fiercely outside as I lay spread out on the cold tile floor of what used to be daycare. Toys were littered all over the floor like a haunting memory from the past. A glimpse of what life used to be like.
When I close my eyes I could imagine what this place uses to be like a year ago. Toddlers laughing and building towers of wooden blocks that would tumble to ground almost as quickly as they built them. Little kids spilling orange juice all over their laps and getting their hands sticky from honey graham crackers.
The bell ringing at the high school signaling the beginning of another day. Teenagers yelling and playfully shoving each other in the hallways as they walked to class, not worrying about being late. Being able to see Shane during third period calculus and fourth period biology every single day.
That's the life I want to go back to-the life that seems so carefree now.
I found myself unable to concentrate. The reds and blues of the sharpie blurred together with the green and browns of the map. Ben was creeping into my mind. A small part of me felt like I might have made mistake leaving him behind like that.
He doesn't understand why I didn't tell him. I was trying to protect him. I told myself that again-I left him behind to protect him from danger. The danger that surrounds me and keeps me fearful of what might happen if they find me. The danger that might get him killed. I was doing him a favor by letting him go.
But then again, a part of me wondered why I left that note for him. It was like a part of me, no matter how small, wanted him to find me. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday.
Ben:
I shoved my backpack onto my shoulders and grabbed my gun and slung it over my shoulder.
As I was about to head out the door, I hesitated and turned around going into the kitchen. Grabbing the unopened note from the table where I had left it, I carefully placed it in my pocket and gave it a light pat before I headed out.
The rain was still going strong, but it didn't bother me.
For a while now I had been getting a fuzzy tingling in my spikes. I could feel that they were close, but when I was with Sage I ignored it.
I realize now how foolish I had been. I had followed her around thinking that I had a chance with foolish puppy love and ignored my job. Finding the Rebel Skitters and ending this war was much more important than my feelings for a girl who probably hated my guts right now.
That's why I didn't read the note, partly because I was afraid of what it might say, and partly because of guilt. Guilt that I hadn't been doing what I was supposed to do. I tried to not think about what the consequences might be for me not finding the Skitters earlier. How many people died because I wasn't there to help? How many kids were not saved and deharnessed because I didn't do what I was supposed to do?
The guilt ride on my shoulders burdeningly enough that I didn't read the note and that I didn't follow after her. Instead I followed my spikes as the static intensified with each step, not stopping until the incomprehensible static slowly cleared until I heard the words I'd been waiting to hear for weeks.