Nowhere is Safe: Edward Elric and the Order of the Phoenix

by GrievingAngel

A/N: IMPORTANT – I added about three and a half pages worth of content to the end of the previous chapter to lengthen it. Please read it before starting this chapter, or you'll be completely lost.

Well, I've managed to survive my first week at college and still write this… somewhat…

This chapter has plenty of Brotherhood content, but the HP cat is about to escape the proverbial bag…

Again, if you want details of the Brotherhood events, just watch the show. You can see all the glory of Ling's transf-*SPOILER BLOCK* XD

Starting in this chapter, I'm really going to exercise my fanfiction-writing "privileges," but I will strive to maintain plausibility. Enjoy…

Chapter 11

A Secret No Longer

The stone restraint around Ed's left wrist shattered, and he quickly destroyed its twin with another Blasting Charm.

"What the hell?" Envy gaped, his attention now glued onto the young alchemist. "How are you doing that?"

Ed answered this question with a Conjunctivitis Curse; when the spell hit the enormous monster directly in the eyes, the resulting swelling sent Envy into howls of pain and anger.

"What did you do to me, you little brat? I can't see!"

Ed now pointed his wand at Father, but the Homunculus did not flinch. He merely raised a curious eyebrow. "What is that weapon, child?"

"Your worst nightmare," Ed retorted. But, just as Ed opened his mouth to utter another curse, Ling cut him off.

"Don't shoot, Ed! This is exactly what I want!"

The small blonde rounded on his friend. "What?"

"I came to this country to get a Philosopher's Stone, and now this guy wants to give one to me. I'm not gonna turn this down!"

"You're crazy!" Ed snapped. "Do you have any idea what you're saying, you idiot?"

"Ignore him!" urged the voice of Ed's wand, egging on the reluctant wizard with sharp stabs of pain. "Get moving! Blast that monster into oblivion!"

"Oh?" Father inserted, looking interestedly at Ling. "So you desire my avarice, human? Well, let's see if your body is as willing as your mind."

"No, don't!" But Ed's cry came too late; the mass of living souls fell from Father's hand onto Ling's face and crawled its way under his skin. Immediately, red lightning shot out of Ling's body on all sides. Gluttony fell off of the Xingese prince and scrambled away to watch from a safer distance. Ed gazed in horror as his friend was torn apart from within over and over, only to be forced back together by the energy of the Stone.

"Ling!"

"… don't… don't you dare interfere," Ling threatened, pointing an accusatory finger at the small blonde. "Trust me, I know… what I'm doing. You're looking at the future emperor of Xing, Ling Yao!" Blood poured from the prince's mouth, and excruciating pain lifted him to his knees, contorting his back to such an extent Ed wondered how he didn't fall back to the floor. Ling's screams echoed throughout the underground chamber. Despite the throbbing in his arm, Ed remained frozen. What could he do? What should he do?

"Now," said Father calmly, turning his back on Ling and facing Edward, "there's a little matter we need to settle."

Realizing one instant too late what the Homunculus was planning, Ed tried to throw a last-second spell, but the villain knocked the weapon out of his hand with pure force. The wand clattered to the floor, far out of Ed's reach.

"Gluttony," Father commanded, "dispose of that thing."

"Okay," said the fat Homunculus as he tottered over to the wand. Picking up the sliver of wood, Gluttony held it above his open mouth.

"No!" Ed shouted, extending his will to the wand. Come on! Defend yourself! As if on cue, the ash wand spewed what looked like molten lava into the Homunculus's mouth, sending it spilling over onto the rest of his body.

"Ow!" Gluttony whined. "Hot! Hot! What's it doing? Faaa-ther!"

"Just put it back, then," Father sighed, waving a dismissive hand at his simple-minded son. Turning his penetrating gaze back on Edward, the Homunculus clamped a strong hand around the boy's throat. "What is this sorcery, Edward Elric?"

"You're not… getting a word… out of me," grunted Ed as his esophagus began to feel the pressure of Father's grip.

"I see," Father growled, his eyes narrowing. "As it turns out, I don't need you to say anything." Even though the constricting force remained around Ed's neck, trapping him in place, Father's fingers crept up along one side of the boy's face.

"Brother!" Al cried, still pinned under a blinded, but unmoved Envy. "Brother, get away from him!"

Father's other hand mirrored its fellow, and still, Ed could not run away. In desperation, he attacked with alchemy… to no effect. Father acted as though an insect had just bitten him, nothing more.

Al continued to scream, unable to stop the scene unfolding in front of him. "Don't you dare touch him, you monster! Ed! ED!"

The villain locked eyes with the small blonde. "This is your last chance to tell me… before I hurt you."

"I won't."

"Very well, then." Without another word, Father's fingers pressed against the boy's skull until they broke through. Pain consumed Ed's thoughts, but not just the physical. A far more agonizing sensation latched onto his very soul, binding him to his enemy.

Get out! Ed's mind screamed.

You foolish human child, echoed Father's voice inside of him.Do you actually think the strength of your one soul is enough to force me out? The villain was prying open every corner of his mind, his soul, laying bare every secret. Ah, he said at last, there it is.

Images of Ed's time in England, in the Wizarding World, flashed before his eyes: Mad-Eye Moody, Grimmauld Place, the Weasley twins, Hermione, Dumbledore, Harry, Diagon Alley, Hogwarts, Luna, Kevin, the Grey Lady…

Stop it! Stop it, now!

This is magnificent, Father marveled. How could Hohenheim have managed to keep this from me for so long? The possibilities this power of magic possesses, they make my previous plans look paltry in comparison! Just think of all I can accomplish with this knowledge!

I won't let you-

You won't let me? Oh, you truly have inherited Hohenheim's stubbornness, young one. It always amused me, the way he was so confident in the abilities of humans, in their potential. What a fool.

Don't you call my father a fool, you bastard! Only I get to call him that! Only vaguely aware of his physical actions, Ed raised trembling arms and uselessly tried to push Father away. He could hear Al's voice in the distance, but the cries of thousands of human souls were quickly overwhelming the one familiar call of "Brother!"

Now that you have your information, what are you going to do with me? Ed asked the Homunculus.

Father's mental grip tightened, like that of an enormous snake around its powerless prey. Of all my sacrifices, you have been the most trouble. You need to be more closely monitored, more… controlled.

Ed couldn't easily describe what happened next. Father… changed something inside of him, but Ed couldn't put his finger on what exactly it was. All he knew was that it was wrong, terribly wrong.

Alphonse had only screamed like this once before, when the Ishvalan serial killer, Scar, had been about to take away the one person he had left in this world. Now, he watched just as helplessly as the one called Father tortured that same person. "BROTHER! BROTHER!"

"Shut up, brat!" Envy rebuked, the swelling around his eyes having finally receded.

Ling (who, during Father's forceful interrogation of Ed, had reintroduced himself as the new Greed) regarded the entrance to the large room and pointed. "Hey, Pops. I think we have some more guests."

The Homunculus finally pulled his attention away from the trembling form of his victim, and Al also followed Greed's gaze. Framed dramatically in the doorway stood Scar, his face stern and his hand dripping with the blood of a chimera that lay slain at his feet. Peeking out from behind the tall Ishvalan was a young girl with braided black hair and luminous obsidian eyes. As soon as she noticed Alphonse, the younger Elric felt a tingling inside of him that had nothing to do with the miniature panda bear he'd stowed inside his armor. If he'd still possessed a face of flesh, he might have blushed. To his dismay, however, the girl fixed him with a glare labeling him as an enemy. Only when the tiny black-and-white creature crawled out from Al's torso and scampered toward her did a smile return to her face.

"Xiao Mei!" she cried joyfully, embracing the panda as it leapt into her arms. "Thank goodness! You're okay."

The monster who had only minutes ago been Ling Yao clapped enthusiastically. "Oh, now that is a touching reunion right there."

Scar locked eyes with Al, and a silent understanding passed between them; the Ishvalan warrior must have mistakenly thought that Al, following Gluttony into the sewers, had joined forces with the Homunculi, but the situation was now clear.

Noticing the elder Elric brother in Father's grasp, Scar mused aloud, "And they've also got Fullmetal."

The small girl suddenly became quite interested in the conversation. "Huh? Where is he? Where is Mr. Edward?"

"Over there," Scar pointed. The girl scoured the room with her eyes, then threw Scar a skeptical look. "He's not really here, is he?"

"I'm telling you, he's right there. That little guy is the Fullmetal Alchemist."

Needless to say, it was obvious to Al that Ed wasn't in a state to greet this apparent fan; at the moment, the small blonde was trying to pry Father's fingers out of his head, his face contorted with unimaginable pain. The poor little girl must have had some grandiose vision of what Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, was supposed to look like, because the sight of a dirty, short boy only a few years older than herself seemed to register as an immense shock. In fact, she started crying in earnest, "How dare he toy with the feelings of a maiden? That human micron!"

"Hey!" Al shouted, speaking up in his brother's place. "Don't call my brother a micron, especially when you aren't exactly tall yourself! Besides, my brother wouldn't do something as cruel as you're suggesting!"

Al was pretty sure the girl would have shouted some kind of insult back at him if Gluttony hadn't then said, "It's the Ishvalan I never got to eat. Can I eat him, Father?"

"Stupid, he'll just rip you apart like before," Envy chided his foolish younger brother. Looking to his leader for instructions, the large Homunculus added, "Are you finished with the pipsqueak yet, Father?"

"…yes," Father replied after a tense pause, "For now, at least. I'll give you the details once we deal with these intruders."

At long last, Edward felt Father's fingers retract from his skull. Almost instantly, the wounds left by the Homunculus's intrusion into his mind closed over – enough to stop the bleeding, at least. Drained of all his energy, Ed dropped to the floor numb and limp. Voices rang around him: one was Al's, another unfamiliar… although, for a moment, it almost sounded like Ling's. Did that mean he had survived the Stone's onslaught? But, the two voices weren't alone; it seemed that newcomers had entered the chamber: one's tone was deep and calloused, and the other's was small and cheerful. In an outer recess of his mind, Ed realized the two strangers were talking about him, but he couldn't focus in on their exact words. Through his swimming field of vision, Ed noticed a thin sliver of red lying on the neutral background of the stone floor: his wand.

"Get up, boy!" the dragon's spirit thundered. "Don't waste time coming for me now; get up and fight that demon!" A burning vitality surged through Ed's lifeless limbs, giving him the strength to rise.

"Brother!" Al cried. "Are you okay?"

Ed coughed before replying feebly, "A little worse for wear, but I'll live." Finally taking notice of Scar and the little girl with him, the young alchemist vaguely recognized the latter as the Ishvalan's accomplice from the previous day. Ed staggered as he tried to steady his weight on his shaking legs. Father, sensing the boy's desire to return to battle, fixed Edward with a commanding gaze. Something in that stare paralyzed Ed; it was as if a barrier formed throughout his entire body, fitting snugly under his skin. Trying to ignore this creepy sensation, Ed pressed his hands together. To his horror, the flow of energy he normally felt when transmuting was completely absent. He tried to complete the alchemical rite several times with no success.

Ed glared at Father. "Bastard! What did you do to me?"

The villain made no reply; rather, he surveyed the room and sighed, "You humans really are pests." With that, he slid one foot forward slightly, and, as he pressed down onto the stone floor, a wave of stifling energy swept outward from him, washing over everyone present. When the resulting wind settled, Envy laughed. "You can go ahead and eat the Ishvalan, Gluttony. He won't be able to use his alchemy now!"

"What?" Scar asked, raising an eyebrow. "Do you think I am so easily left powerless, monster?" Gluttony charged toward Scar, and the Ishvalan warrior scooted his small companion to the side. "Move, girl!" As soon as she was out of the line of fire, Scar's full attention and rage fixed on his attacker. His right hand decisively clenched, caught Gluttony full in the face, and sent an explosive surge of alchemical force through the Homunculus's body. The bloodied bulk fell to the floor as it began to regenerate its top half, and Scar confidently stepped over the twitching corpse. "Next?"

"How can you use your alchemy here?" Envy demanded, taken aback.

"I don't know what you mean, beast, and, even if I did, I have no obligation to answer you."

Envy grit his teeth in indignation. Ed, who by now had regained his footing, ran at Father's back to strike from behind, but the Homunculus predicted his move easily. He grabbed the left leg with which Ed attacked and lazily tossed the young alchemist in one swift movement. Expecting to land painfully on stone, Ed was surprised to feel a strong, weathered hand grab the front of his shirt just before impact. His relief, however, was short-lived: the one who now had hold of him was Scar. The burly Ishvalan narrowed his hate-filled eyes, cracking the knuckles of his right hand.

"There's still a moment left for you to pray before I end your life, young alchemist."

"I'm pretty sure we've been over this before," Ed laughed nervously. Surely, he thought, with a more important common enemy in the room, Scar can hold off on his personal vendetta… right? Unfortunately, Ed's guess seemed to be wrong as the Ishvalan warrior brought his hand of destruction closer and closer to Ed's face.

"Brother, what are you doing? Don't just sit there! Run!"

Ed tried to heed Al's advice, but between Scar's firm grip on a large handful of his shirt and his own grogginess from Father's mental onslaught, he wasn't going anywhere.

"Wait!" Ed cried, trying to hold back Scar's hand despite the obvious difference in their strengths, "Wait, please! There's something important I need to tell you! It's about Ishval – about the war!"

Scar pushed through Ed's feeble attempt to hinder him until his palm touched the small blonde's forehead. "What is it? Go on, speak… but if I think you're lying, even for an instant, I'll kill you."

"The incident that started the war – the death of that child – I know who the real culprit was."

"What Amestrian trickery are you babbling about, boy?"

"It's not a trick, I swear! It's the truth! It was Envy, disguised as a soldier! Those guys are responsible for the entire war!" After a pause, Ed added, "Please, I have no reason to lie to you."

"And what reason do I have to believe that?"

"None. I guess… you'd just have to trust me."

Scar searched the boy's sincere face, and the two came to a kind of unspoken understanding. Releasing Ed and pulling him to his feet, Scar refocused his vengeful gaze on the Homunculi. "I'd like to hear more details about this… in-between your screaming." As if the timing had been planned, Gluttony jumped at Scar from behind only to receive another dose of deconstructive punishment. Ed, getting the feeling he should give his temporary ally some space, backed away from the Ishvalan. Scar continued, his voice taking on a growling tone, "Why did you see fit to slaughter my people? Tell me! Depending on your answer, I'll send you to join God! ...no, you don't deserve to stand by God's side with my fallen brothers! Your only solace from my wrath will be damnation!" With those chilling words, Scar slammed his right hand against the floor, and the stone split like plaster. Where before the surface had been a smooth solid, now it rose and fell in great chunks, like a concrete ocean.

The first person Ed saw emerge from the chaos was his brother, running full-tilt away from Envy, who was screaming, "Get back here, brat!"

"Brother!" Al called as he reached the small blonde. "Are you okay?"

"You asked that less than five minutes ago."

"That doesn't make it any less of a relevant question."

"If you two boys are done chatting," Scar interrupted, "I thought you were going to fight these monsters."

The Ishvalan's condescending glare made every hair on the back of Ed's neck stand on end. "W… we will, but don't feel any need to wait for us."

"Fine, then." Scar barreled over the broken chunks of stone toward Father until he dropped out of sight.

"So, what'd I miss?" Ed asked his little brother. Al explained succinctly about Ling… or rather, Greed.

Ed cursed, slamming an angry fist against the ground in frustration. "Well, I guess there's nothing for it: we should go help out, alchemy or no alchemy. Scar has no idea what he's in for if he went after the boss."

Al made to follow his brother toward the battle, but something caught his eye. "Brother! That little girl who was with Scar, I think she's in trouble, too. Gluttony is-"

"Go on then, Mr. Knight-in-Shining-Armor," said Ed, shooing off his brother with a grin. Al hurdled a slab of cracked rock and went to the girl's aid, leaving Ed to find his own fight. As the young alchemist reached the top of a slanted piece of the floor, he saw a familiar raven-haired prince striding past him below.

"I know you're still in there, Ling!" he called.

The being looked up at him and smirked with an inhuman air. "Nope, just Greed."

Ed leapt down from his perch and swiped at the new Homunculus. As soon as their battle commenced, Ed couldn't pay much attention to what was going on around him. In his peripheral vision, he saw Al carry the little girl out through the main entrance, followed by Scar and quickly pursued by Envy and Gluttony. Father stood by as Ed and Greed carried on with their duel.

"Oh-ho!" the Homunculus laughed as Ed's automail foot bounced off of his Ultimate Shield. "That was a good strong kick. You're doing quite well, for a human."

Greed slashed a clawed hand toward Ed, and the young alchemist blocked it with his right arm. "Wake up, Ling!" Ed yelled.

"It's Greed."

"Shut up! Give Ling his body back!"

"Sorry, no-can-do!" Greed pushed hard against his small opponent, forcing him back. Ed revised his strategy and tackled the monster from above. Once the Homunculus was on the ground, Ed focused his anger at both Ling and Greed.

"You idiot! How could you have given your body over to this monster? What about your country – becoming emperor and all that? Have you forgotten all about Lan-Fan?"

At the sound of her name, Greed's eyes widened, as if a distant memory had just been sparked. Seizing his opportunity, Ed landed a haymaker against Ling's cheek… and blood trickled out of the Homunculus's mouth. Shocked with his own success, Ed dropped his guard for one second too long: Greed flipped the young alchemist and pinned him by the left arm, twisting it painfully. "Hey, Pops!" the monster called, "I got him for you."

"Excellent. Now, we just wait for Envy and Gluttony to retrieve the younger brother."

Looking around in desperation, Ed saw a glimmer of hope protruding from a nearby heap of rubble: the ash wand. With fresh motivation, Ed threw Greed off of him and crawled toward his weapon. When he reached the spot, however, two black-booted feet had beaten him to it.

"Looking for this?" a seductive voice purred. Looking up, Ed saw a beautiful woman dangling his wand just out of his reach.

"Lust," Ed growled, "so you are alive."

"Ha, we never even properly met, and you already know my name? What a clever little boy."

"Don't call me little, you bi-"

"Now, now, watch your manners, Edward. That's not the way you address a woman when you want something from her. Why not try asking nicely?"

Ed might have tried pulling out her hair instead, but Greed had caught up now and pushed Ed to the floor. "Gotcha, kid. Maybe if you cry 'Uncle,' I'll let you up." Turning to his older sister, Greed whistled, "Well, hello, beautiful. Where have you been hiding all my life?"

"Don't be disgusting, Greed. I've been here the whole time, in the shadows. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to show myself yet, but things were getting so far out of hand, I had to rescue the situation."

"Out of hand? I had everything under control."

Lust twiddled the wand between two fingers. "Oh, really? And, what would you have done when he got ahold of this again?" Greed bit his lip guiltily, and Lust laughed. "Why don't we do a little trade? You can hold this wand, and I'll handle our guest."

"Whatever," Greed shrugged, accepting the offered weapon from Lust.

"How is it you can all touch it?" Ed demanded.

"What do you mean, boy?" asked Lust, pausing as she crouched down to take him from Greed.

"Whenever a human other than me touches it, the wand reacts violently against that person."

"Really?" said Greed, eyeing the wand cautiously.

"But we aren't human," Lust pointed out. "Perhaps your weapon senses no threat from us for that reason."

"Then it's being stupid. Hey!" Ed now directed his shouts to the wand itself. "Wake up and fry these two!"

Greed howled with laughter, "Oh, dear, I hope I didn't hit his head too hard."

Ed ignored this skepticism. "What are you waiting for?"

"I can't solve all of your problems, boy," the dragon growled in his mind, more softly than usual, "and, in this instance, fighting is not the wisest of options."

"Oh, so now you're giving me advice?" Ed snapped, letting a tiny bit of British slip out. "That's bloody helpful!"

"What's with the accent, kid?" Greed chortled.

"I'm more interested in who you're talking to," Lust countered.

"Shut up, both of you! Dragon, when we get out of this, you and I are going to have a talk about when fighting is 'the wisest of options'!"

"What dragon?" the two Homunculi asked.

Having returned to his normal dialect, Ed thrashed against Greed's weight. "Fine, then, I'll just do it myself! I don't need a wand to take down these third-rate-"

Lust slapped him across the face, stopping his rant. "Who are you calling third-rate?" she hissed. "That's it, Greed. Give him here."

"He's all yours," Greed snickered, implying things Ed didn't at all like. As soon as Greed was off of him, Lust grabbed his left arm and spun him so that he fell backward against her. She quickly wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him to her.

"There," she purred as Greed traipsed back toward their Father, "isn't that better?"

Noticing the uncomfortable sensation of her chest pressing on his shoulder blades, Ed tried to scramble away from the female Homunculus, but her grip was just as strong as any of her brothers'.

"Oh, don't be like that, Edward. We'll just wait here for your little brother to come back, and then we'll get this whole mess straightened out. In the meantime…"

Unable to see what she was doing, Ed unconsciously began to shake with a fear he'd never known before: what exactly did women like Lust do with fifteen-year-old-boys when they had time to kill? He felt something warm and wet touch his ear, and only too late did he realize it was a tongue.

"Get off of me, you sleazy-" Ed tried to elbow the Homunculus, but she trapped his right arm under one of her legs. When he resorted to his left, she stabbed his shoulder with a needle-like spear straight through the bone and pulled until the limb popped out of its socket. Ed bit down on his lip to keep himself from crying out as his arm fell uselessly to his side.

"I told you before, that's not how you treat a woman." One of her gloved hands caressed his chin, tenderly turning his face toward hers.

"No!" Ed pulled violently away from her, tugging his head free of her grasp only just in time.

Lust laughed like a cat playing with a trapped mouse. "You're actually afraid of me, not as human to Homunculus, but as man to woman. You really are naïve, aren't you, Edward? Well, I can easily remedy that."

"Brother!"

At the sound of Al's voice, Ed looked up to see Envy reentering, marching a captured Alphonse in front of him. He was also carrying Gluttony, who was smoking and sparking like a dying fire. Envy dropped the tubby Homunculus at their Father's feet before bringing Al closer to where Lust and Edward sat.

"Entertaining yourself, huh, Lust?" the enormous monster chortled.

"Well, can you blame me?" the female Homunculus trilled, stroking Ed's face with her spear-tipped fingers, leaving shallow gashes along his temple and jawline. "He is rather… delectable."

Al gasped indignantly. "Get your filthy hands off of my brother, you… you… hussy!" As glad as Ed was that his little brother was speaking up for him, Al was obviously too much of a gentleman to insult a woman properly. Lust only chuckled, brushing some of Ed's loose hair away from his neck. Seeing how much pain her actions were causing the younger Elric, she smirked and kissed the small blonde on the jugular. Ed squirmed at her touch, not because it was particularly repulsive, but because – in a primal part of his heart – he actually enjoyed it… and that realization scared him.

"Stop it!" Al demanded. "Stop it right now!"

Instead, Lust sucked on Ed's skin, sending chills of cold shock, slight disgust, and guilty pleasure up and down his spine. Seeing the futility of his struggles, he was slowly losing the motivation to push her away.

"Lust," the leader of the Homunculi instructed, walking over to the group with Greed in tow and noticing the several new wounds on Edward's body, "do try to be somewhat careful with him."

"Of course, Father," the daughter replied dutifully, pulling back from Ed as she spoke. She then settled for twirling his golden hair around her fingers and kissing that instead.

"So, what do we do with these two?" Envy asked. "What's the plan, Father?"

The Head Homunculus narrowed his eyes in deep thought. "At the moment, I am still working on the answer to that question. For now, just keep the Elric Brothers contained here, and then-"

BOOM! The stone doors that Envy had closed behind him after returning blasted apart, and out from the resulting dust cloud stepped Hohenheim. Perhaps because seeing the physical imitation had frightened him so much, Ed had unconsciously been yearning to see his father – the original human whose familiar face didn't conceal a black, monstrous heart.

"Dad!"

The yell that escaped him echoed off every surface in the great chamber, leaving a silence in its wake broken only by a soft gasp from Alphonse. "Ed, you just…"

"Well, well," greeted Father, facing his old acquaintance, "Van Hohenheim. It's been a long time; what brings you to my… humble home?"

"Don't patronize me, Dwarf in the Flask. I'm here for my sons."

"Ah, yes… that would be it."

"There isn't any need for us to continue fighting this day," Hohenheim reasoned in a diplomatic tone. "Just release them, and we'll leave you peacefully."

"As if we'd negotiate with a human!" Envy scoffed, but Father raised a quelling hand toward his underling, calling for silence.

"If you want to claim them for the time being, I have no objection."

Hohenheim showed his clear displeasure at the way the Homunculus said "for the time being," but he nodded and began making his way through the maze of destruction.

Envy clenched his teeth. "But, Father-"

"Enough, Envy. Release the Elric boy." Once the monster had reluctantly complied, Father turned his stern gaze on his daughter. "Lust…"

"Oh, all right," she sighed, dragging Ed to his feet. After giving him a final flirtatious squeeze, she let Ed disentangle himself from her embrace. Al quickly came alongside his brother and shielded him from Lust, tilting his helmet down in a fierce glare toward the female Homunculus. As the two boys walked toward their father, the Head Homunculus caught Edward by the left arm. Ed instantly felt the wounds Lust had given him heal, as well as the remaining scabs on the sides of his head that been neglected. Father said nothing as he looked down at the boy, but Ed could have sworn that he nonetheless heard the monster's voice.

I'll be watching you very closely from now on, child.

Gulping, Ed extracted his arm from Father's grasp and caught up with Al. Hohenheim waited patiently for the boys, but when they stepped within his reach, he placed a hand around each of them, gently pushing them ahead of him.

"Hey, kid!" Greed called. "You might as well have this back."

Ed looked back over his shoulder just in time to see Greed toss the ash wand toward him. Catching the stick, Ed nodded in silent gratitude to his former friend. Somewhere inside that monster, Ling's alive; I know it.

As soon as they had left the dreary chamber behind, Hohenheim sighed. "It's high time we got out of this place, don't you think?" he said, trying to insert a light-hearted remark.

"Uh, yeah," Al agreed. The younger Elric was now holding the chestplate of his armor as if he had a stomachache, but Ed knew that to be impossible. He decided not to bring up the subject; it didn't seem important at the moment.

"When did you get back, Dad?" Al asked in turn.

"Barely an hour ago. Colonel Mustang sent me a message telling me where he'd last seen you, and after that, I did some digging until I heard someone mention seeing a suit of armor and a strange, fat man enter the sewers. It didn't take much for me to put the pieces together, but I'm sure there are plenty of details you boys can give me later."

"…I'm sorry…" Ed's voice was strained and faint, taking both Al and Hohenheim by surprise.

"Whatever do you mean, Edward?"

"I'm so sorry… he knows now… he knows everything… because of me."

"What?" Al cried in horror. "Everything?"

"Yes. He… he forced it out of me. He just… ripped what he wanted out of my head."

Hohenheim stopped in his tracks, his face aghast. He grasped both of Ed's shoulders, sank to his knees, and searched his son's face. "What did he do?"

"I just told you-"

"That's not what I mean. Did he do something to you? Anything?"

Ed tried to remember, but the experience was painful even in memory. "I… I don't know. It's fuzzy."

"Maybe I can help."

"How?"

"Surely Miss Granger had you read about Legilimency."

"Yeah, but…" Ed raised an eyebrow as he glanced around at their sewage-and-corpse-strewn surroundings. "Here? Now?"

"This can't wait," Hohenheim pressed, pulling out his wand and adding, "Alphonse, go on ahead. I'm sure you want to take care of that little girl you've hidden in your armor."

Al nearly jumped a foot in the air. "Uh, how did you know that?" Receiving only a sagely smile from his father as a reply, the younger Elric nodded. "Okay, but don't stay down here too long."

Once Al had rounded the corner toward the ascending staircase, Hohenheim turned back to his elder son. "Ready?"

"Uh… I guess so," Ed shrugged, unsettled by the serious tone of his father's voice.

"All right. Look me directly in the eyes and try to relax."

It was a peculiar sensation: Ed's senses distorted and faded, cutting him off from reality. Images of his past bombarded his mind's eye, moving so quickly he couldn't focus on a single one. As the film reel of his life got closer and closer to the present, an aching gradually registered inside him.

"Stop," he heard himself mutter.

"Hang on, son," Hohenheim's voice called from far away. The pain ratcheted upward, as if someone was pouring liquid metal onto Ed's brain, trying to seal off his mind.

"Stop it. You're hurting me."

"That's not me, Ed. Please, bear with it a little longer. I'm trying to get past it."

Ed was pretty sure his legs had given way by now. He couldn't do it; he couldn't take any more of this torment. He tried to close his unseeing eyes, to break off the connection, with no success.

"No… not again. Stop it. Get out!"

"Again? Edward, I'm not him. Surely you can tell that."

Ed made no attempt to reply; the agonizing mental seal had almost encased him now. In the far distance of his physical form, Ed clutched at his father for support, sure he was going to die at any moment, that this pain would kill him. Just before the sheath closed, a will that wasn't Ed's spoke through his voice.

"You're not welcome here, Hohenheim. If you try this again, I just might have to find a replacement sacrifice… because your son will be dead."

The casing completed itself, shattering the connection. Edward was only loosely aware of this – or of anything – because his brain wouldn't work. His ability to think had been frozen, and consciousness was quickly slipping away from him. The last thing he perceived before shadow took possession of his mind was Hohenheim's stricken face as his father called his name.

Warmth… light… These sensations slowly filtered in, making their way doggedly through his nervous system. After what felt like an eternity, Ed mustered the strength to open his eyes. As his optical nerves remembered how to work, the image of a dark-haired man came into focus.

"Hey, Fullmetal," said Colonel Mustang, an unusually concerned expression lingering on his face just long enough for Ed to notice it.

"…whe… where's Dad?"

Mustang seemed surprised at Ed's use of the term, but he took it in his stride. "He had to step out for a minute, but he's been worried sick about you."

Ed tried to sit up, but his muscles felt like jelly.

"Easy there, hotshot; just lie down. That's an order."

After a pause, Ed asked, "So, what have you been doing?"

The Colonel looked as if Ed had just asked what fighting in Ishval had been like. "It's hasn't been good. Bradley took all my men and reassigned them… all of them."

"Then the lieutenant-"

"-isn't here," Mustang finished. "She's been made the Fuhrer's new secretary." He looked out a nearby window. "At least… I'll still be able to see her, from time to time… if only for a few moments."

Ed had never heard his superior talk about his… relationship (for lack of a better word) with Lieutenant Hawkeye like this before; it seemed Mustang had only figured out how special she was to him after losing her. While the Colonel's back was turned, Ed pulled himself up into a sitting position. He had woken on the couch in Mustang's office at Central Headquarters. Why Dad thought this would be a safe place, I have no idea. It was strange how natural it now felt for Ed to call Hohenheim that: Dad. It was as if he had been abstaining from breathing and had only recently allowed himself to perform the simple operation of inhaling and exhaling.

"I'm… I'm sorry," he said at last.

"It's not your fault. You told me the truth, just as you should." Facing the young alchemist, Mustang knit his brow in disapproval. "I thought I told you to lie down."

"Since when have I listened to you?" Ed grinned. "Besides, I need to get blood flowing if I'm going to get up anytime soon."

"No one said you had to go anywhere anytime soon. I'm serious, Edward; you are going to rest if I have to tie you down."

"That's a scary thought," laughed the small blonde, but he nonetheless sank back onto the soft couch pillows. "Actually, Colonel, I'm glad you're here."

"Well, that's a first. Why?"

"Because there's something I just remembered, something you need to know."

"And what's that?"

"It's about Hughes… I know who killed him."

In an instant, Mustang was on his feet, fully attentive. "Who? Out with it."

"We were right that it was one of the Homunculi."

"Don't beat around the bush, Fullmetal. Tell me who did it!"

"…Envy. You haven't met him, but he can change his shape. Hughes dropped his guard because that monster made himself look like Ms. Gracia… and then…" He didn't have to finish.

Mustang clenched his fists, clearly suppressing his anger. "I see. Well, I'll make sure that the first time I meet this Envy will be the last time anyone ever does."

"Colonel, just… just don't lose your head when you fight him, okay?"

The soldier's eyes narrowed. "I can't promise that."

"Can't… or won't?"

Before Mustang could respond, the door of the office creaked open and Hohenheim entered. Upon seeing his son, the sagely alchemist sighed with relief. "You're awake. Thank goodness." Looking to Mustang, he added, "Colonel, would you mind…"

"Not at all," he replied, getting the message. "I'll be outside if you need me."

After Mustang had closed the door behind him, Hohenheim sat on the edge of the couch and scanned Ed's face sadly, as if he would never be able to look at it enough.

"What?" Ed asked. "It's not like you to seem so down." When he received no reply, Ed raised his voice a little. "Hellooo… Dad! Hey!"

Hohenheim seemed to emerge from a daydream. "Oh, it's just…" He placed a warm hand on Ed's shoulder as he searched for the words, "I'm so sorry, Edward."

"What do you have to be sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I put your life in danger."

Ed laughed, trying to diffuse the tension in the room. "When is my life not in danger?" When Hohenheim's morbid expression didn't change, Ed grew more somber. "Is it really that bad?"

"That's just it: I don't know. Before I could get that deep-"

"I blacked out," Ed finished.

"Worse than that, I'm afraid. Your mind… shut down, as if my presence triggered a self-destruct. I could have killed you." After a grim pause, Hohenheim asked, "Edward, did he say anything, something that might give us any clues about…"

"Yeah, he did," replied the small blonde.

"And?"

"He said I needed to be monitored… controlled. But, it's not like he can actually…" Ed stopped, taking note of his father's distressed face. "Can he?" No reply. Ed's shoulders slumped as he resigned himself to the worst possibility. "What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know if there's anything we can do at the moment. I've written to Albus – told him everything. Perhaps he can come up with a solution."

Ed snorted softly. "Dad, if you – with 400-some years of knowledge – don't have an answer, I really don't know how a wizard a fourth of your age is going to be much good."

A smile finally emerged on Hohenheim's face. "A good rule of thumb, son: never underestimate Albus Dumbledore."

"Regardless," he continued, standing, "you need to return to school as quickly as possible. Distancing you from the Homunculi is of extra importance now. I'll make a Portkey for you."

"Uh… okay." As Hohenheim strode toward the door, Ed swung his stiff legs over the side of the couch and tested his weight on them.

"Don't push yourself too hard," his father advised.

Ed grinned slyly. "A good rule of thumb, Dad: never underestimate Edward Elric."

It was late afternoon by the time Ed's body fully revived. He had just slung his bag over one shoulder when armored footfalls clanked into earshot.

"Al?" the elder Elric called. "Is that you?"

At the sound of Ed's voice, the steps hastened to his location until Al's helmet peeked around a corner. "Ed!" he cried joyously. "I'm glad I made it back before you left; Dad had said he was going to make sure you got back to Hogwarts before the day was out."

"Oh, did he?" Ed cracked a smile, trying to picture Hohenheim saying something with that level of resolve. "So, how's that little girl?"

"She has a name, you know. May Chang." He said it so wistfully that Ed nearly choked for stifling his laughter. "What's so funny?" the younger Elric demanded defensively.

"Oh, man," Ed mused with a mix of nostalgia and mirth, "My little brother's gone and gotten his first crush."

Even without a physical manifestation, it was obvious Al was blushing. "D… don't say it like that, Brother. You're just teasing me."

"Sorry, it just makes me think about how time's flown by. Four years…"

"Edward?" Hohenheim's voice echoed from further down the hall.

"I guess it's time," Ed sighed.

"I'll write more," Al promised, "and maybe I can come visit, or something."

"Don't worry about it," the older brother replied, waving a flippant hand as he headed back toward Mustang's office. "See ya 'round, Al."

"Okay." The subdued, forlorn tone of the metallic voice almost made the small blonde hesitate, but he forced himself not to look back.

"So," Ed asked as he entered the room and eyed the object Hohenheim had chosen (a badly bashed desk lamp), "how does this work, exactly?"

"Touch the Portkey, and it'll do the rest – simple enough. Just be careful not to touch it again once you get there, or you'll end up with a round trip."

"Fine. You made sure it'll take me back to the Shrieking Shack, right?"

Hohenheim nodded passively, but Ed could tell from a single glance what the hopeless old romantic was really thinking about at the moment. Exhaling heavily, the boy pointed out, "You know, I'm not gonna attack you if you try and hug me again."

Slightly embarrassed by his son's clairvoyance, Hohenheim cleared his throat awkwardly. "Good to know." He closed the distance between them in a few strides and enfolded Ed in his arms. As his father held him tightly, Ed could feel Hohenheim trembling.

"Dad, don't worry about me. I'm a survivor; I'm not gonna let this mess with the Homunculi beat me."

Ed watched his father's Adam's apple bob as the old man struggled to remain in control of his emotions. In the end, all Hohenheim could manage was a few more feeble nods. After nearly a minute, Ed noted stoically, "You going to have to let me go if I'm heading back to Hogwarts."

Presented with that painful reality, Hohenheim finally stepped away, no longer able to make eye contact for fear that he'd break down completely.

"I'll be okay," said Ed, trying to assure both his father and himself. He then approached the dented desk lamp that would take him back to the Wizarding World. "Here goes," he shrugged as he reached for the Portkey.

A/N: The Conjunctivitis Curse is just what it sounds like… a pink eye curse. I found it on the HP Wiki; apparently, it's what Crum used on his dragon in the First Task.

Ed's wand is cool… I just have to make sure it's not too powerful. It requires teamwork with Ed, so that's a restraint on its power.

RANDOM: May and Cho have the same last name. XD

Yes, Lust… since she was only in the canon story for such a short time, Arakawa didn't really get to show a lot of her character, so, since I kept her alive… I'm going to develop her, especially in terms of her more obviously displaying a primal, manipulative attraction to men. After all, she's Lust.

More Ed and Mr. Ho time TTvTT It pleases me…