Author's Note: Welcome, welcome to Part 3 of this fanfic! We're halfway there guys, but the second half of the story should move rather quickly now. ; )
As I said on the last chapter, there will NOT be a new trailer posted here at the beginning of Part 3. Any and all new trailers will only become available AFTER certain chapters have been posted in order to avoid spoilers. So soak it up, buttercups! The first two trailers will be the only ones around for a while. The next trailer will be released with Chapter 15 ; ). Trust me, they will be worth the wait. The final trailer is, as of right now, almost 10 minutes long. I promise you'll be happy with the end results!
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Emma laid in her bed, exhausted, yet unable to find sleep. Flat on her back, she stared at the ceiling of her chamber room, the blankets wrapped around her waist despite the chill in the air. Her body burned warm, slightly elevated beyond what she was used to, but she knew it was due to the day she had been through. From the encounter with the King, to the emotional turmoil she endured as she tried to make sense of what she had learned, to her interaction with Regina, Emma felt as if she had been put through a variety of emotions at the highest peak of intensity and then left to fight for her emotional stability. But as she lay in her bed making attempts to calm her racing mind, she felt one subject keep presenting itself in a mix between welcoming and concerning.
Regina.
Emma closed her eyes briefly as she allowed thoughts of the Queen to consume her again. Her reaction from the now untruthful news had spoken volumes to her once her sense had returned. She knew that her love for Regina had grown strong in the time she had been in her presence, but she hadn't fully grasped the reality of its foundation. Just allowing Regina to cross her thoughts had her heart react in ways she didn't know it was capable of completing. It was unassailable, and despite Emma knowing that she should keep it contained, she felt such joy course through her when she allowed herself a moment to embrace the warmth she felt when her heart called out for Regina.
And this was what she was allowing herself now.
Emma's mind wandered to visions and memories of time she had spent with Regina - the kindness she exuded when she worked with the citizens of the kingdom, the laugh that rang out when Henry told a particularly fatherly joke, and the smile she seemed to have reserved for Emma alone, a unique feature that sprang to life when they were together, sharing a moment or coming up with ideas and plans in times where they only needed each other to move forward. Emma froze her mind's eye on that image, where Regina's smile was engaged just for her, and she let it fill her with yearning.
Then Emma opened her eyes, severing the tie to her thoughts and wishes of how she could be the one to love Regina. She felt a different emotion overtake her body, and her heart sank as reality crashed over her blissful imagination. It was wishful thinking to believe that she could be the one to show Regina how she was meant to be cared for, to be adored. How could she even broach such a subject? Walk right up to Regina and ask if she preferred the romantic affections of women? Emma could only see that going in two different directions, either severing the connection she already held with Regina based on trust because of her hidden secret and the likelihood that Regina would feel uncomfortable immediately around Emma, or having Regina react horribly and terminating her position right there. Emma realized that she may be a bit dramatic in her thoughts, thinking that Regina wouldn't flat out terminate her and instead handle it delicately, but she knew it would be a case of agreed upon dismissal. Was it better if Emma just did that, separating herself from Regina now instead of letting this fester and consume her entirely? Or could she hold on to the control, allowing her to stay in her position in order to continue on the plan of keeping Regina protected?
Emma knew that she would never leave Regina if her safety was still in turmoil, it was just silly to think otherwise. But her heart ached so much for what she did not have that she felt overwhelmed by the emotion she held for her Queen, causing her to attempt to think of any sort of recourse.
But suddenly, in the midst of her internal debate, she felt a strong tug of her heart. Not necessarily in a bad way, but significantly different than what she had been experiencing prior. Emma shot up in her bed the moment it occurred, rather confused by the notion instead of allowing uncertainty to envelope her. She placed her hand against her breast, feeling the steady heartbeat beneath her fingers. Right then, she felt this sense of affection warm around her and begin to spread to each tip of her extremities, as if love itself was holding her close. It didn't alarm her, nor did it cause her worry, but it was new and different. However, one thing stayed the same, one thing prevailed from the moment spent alone into the one she found herself now.
All of it was wrapped within Regina.
Little did Emma know that, just next door, behind only one wall and one single door, Regina lay awake against her bed, her eyes closed and her hands clasped together against her stomach. She breathed evenly, feeling the healing qualities of her meditation wrap around her. But she, too, felt the same warmth Emma had felt spread through her, but was not alarmed by it in the least, for she knew of its origin, and had been counting on it to ease her troubled mind from the day's events, as well as her own realization concerning the simple fact that she was emphatically and unequivocally in love with Emma.
Regina's hands clasped together tighter, pressing firmly against each other, yet not meeting. Held between her palms was the Protector Stone, the smooth surface warm against her fingers. She had pulled it from her bedside moments ago, gripping it tightly and holding it close to her heart as she let it's magic consume her, falling into a state of calm and contentment. But what she enjoyed most was that it gave her a chance to feel close to Emma. Despite the fact that she was in the very next room, Regina yearned for the closeness the stone provided, letting her capture herself within a world where Emma was solely hers. The Protector Stone connected her to Emma in a way she knew would not be able to become a reality. But her sadness over it was masked by the magic of the stone, and she welcomed that, for even if she could only hold Emma in a world built on her heart's true desires, she would take that chance provided, and cherish it.
Suddenly, Regina felt a strong pull of her heart, something separate from the stone's power, yet somehow connected as well. Her eyes shot open, intrigue etched in her features as she rose from her pillow. She pulled a hand away from the stone, leaving it clasped in her other hand tightly so as not to lose its magic. She placed that hand against her chest, and felt her heart beat steadily within her, holding a pattern she was familiar with. But as she felt assured that nothing was wrong and dropped her hand from its place, she felt the pull again, and wonder crossed her mind at what could be the cause. Was it the stone's magic shifting to another tether? Or perhaps a response from her own heart advising a change in direction? But no, as she thought on it further, she realized that it wasn't a message directing her away from Emma, it was something pulling her closer, nearer, as if she was suddenly being cradled close and warm against Emma without the restraints of reality.
Regina let out a light and staggered gasp, feeling the envelopment of the emotion consume her, taking her heart hostage, as if instructing her to never let go of Emma and their relationship. It got stronger and stronger as the seconds passed, and Regina felt her body buckle beneath its weight. But it was welcomed, encouraged, and accepted by her without question, even though she did not know why. She sprang from her bed and ran to the door connecting her to Emma's chambers and was about to pull it open before she stopped abruptly, her hand outstretched towards the latch separating her from her heart's desire.
Regina felt the dread fill her, realizing that her heart would have to be happy enough having Emma as a part of her life, which she was already grateful for more than what words could convey. But as her heart screamed within her chest to find Emma and be close to her, she leaned her forehead against the door's wood as her hand came up beside her and slid flat against its surface, craving to be held by Emma in her arms, even for just a moment. She felt the palpitations of her heart cry out for what she wanted most, but she wouldn't let herself have it, afraid of what the truth could do to the relationship she already knew she couldn't live without in any capacity that it would be given to her. No - no matter how hard her heart lamented, she would remind herself of the alternative that if her true feelings were to be released, the possible loss of Emma would surely empty her, if only in mind, heart, and spirit, making her a hollow being of the Earth.
If only the universe worked in a way where it would let lovers know when they felt the same emotions, coursed with the same adoration for one another, pined for the same desires between each of their hearts. Then the world would be a more beautiful place, filled with love found deep within one another's souls, and beauty apparent in areas it may be overlooked when true love is not known. For if this were to be possible, Regina would have been given the chance to see that Emma was standing directly on the other side of the door she leaned upon herself, tears rushing down her cheeks as her own heart screamed for Regina, her forehead and her own hand raised to lie flat on her door's surface, lined up perfectly connected to Regina in the exact same spots.
The Next Morning
A knock came from the door connecting Regina and Emma's chambers together, and Regina spun towards it immediately, expecting Emma to come through right away. But to Regina's dismay, she didn't, as if waiting for her to allow Emma in. Regina was taken aback by this, for she had never needed to invite Emma inside before, thinking it had been clear that her personal guard was always allowed to enter without an invitation.
"Come in?" Regina shouted, her statement turning into a question as she became uneasy as to who it could be behind the door. But when the door opened and Emma did end up being the one to step through, Regina let the confusion envelope her features. "You need an invitation now?" Regina asked, unable to stop herself.
Emma looked directly at her and stopped in her entrance, her eyes wide. "I, uh, I just wanted to be...respectful," Emma stuttered. Regina looked at her in more confusion.
"Respectful?" Regina questioned, her tones echoing her bewilderment. "Emma, you know you're always allowed entry to my quarters. Respect has nothing to do with it," she continued, turning her voice soft.
"Right," Emma responded, looking down at the ground. "I'll remember from now on."
Regina eyed Emma suspiciously. Something was different, something was...off. She didn't believe there to be anything wrong or out of place but, somehow, their interactions seemed a bit...strange. Was Regina too forthcoming with her emotions? Were they being displayed and making Emma nervous? But as the thought crossed her mind, she realized that couldn't be the case as she hadn't yet seen Emma that day. No, something just seemed...strained.
"I have been summoned to the King's quarters again to provide an update on whether I have discovered your...um…" Emma cleared her throat. "'Suitor' or not." Regina grimaced slightly.
"Of course," Regina said flatly. "Well, advise him of the truth, that I haven't left your sight since your meeting with him yesterday. He can't argue with the truth, even if he makes you wait while he verifies that statement with all of his other spies within the castle."
"Right," Emma uttered again, then turned on her heel to make her way back through the connecting chamber door. Regina watched as she moved further away, and when Emma was practically through the door entirely, Regina called out to her.
"Emma?" Regina asked, unable to hold back the slight air of shock in her voice. Had Emma truly just retreated as fast as possible without even saying goodbye? But then her mind wandered, and she realized that there wasn't a requirement that Emma bid her farewell each time she were to leave, nor address her when setting off to do a task. But Regina thought back on how each time they had parted once before, Emma had always left with kind parting words, as if to say she would always return to her as soon as possible, which had always made Regina feel comforted. The sudden stop to this behavior is what had thrown Regina from her expectations. Had Regina given away some of her feelings for Emma? Was she uncomfortable around her now? Was that why things were different?
Regina watched as Emma turned around inside the doorway, her eyes lowered and not meeting hers. But when she did look up, and her face landed on Regina's, it seemed to soften, seeing the edge of worry as well as a touch of sadness displayed there at Emma's change in behavior. Emma had only been trying to be respectful of the Queen's privacy and space, realizing in her dreams last night that she had become too comfortable with the royal. No matter her feelings and no matter her position, this was still a person of royalty, the Queen of her kingdom. She was to be treated as such and Emma's behavior as of late had pushed that boundary further and further back. She had woken that morning thinking of nothing but Regina, but wanting to help reestablish their relationship to that of employer and employee. And, truth be told, part of her was attempting this reconstruction in order to try and help keep her feelings for the Queen at bay, refraining from running rampant or causing more of an issue than she already handled everyday.
But now, as Emma stared into Regina's eyes and saw there how much this change was negatively affecting her, Emma knew that her attempts would cease right then. She knew, with the help of Regina's raw emotion showing through while she had attempted to restructure their relationship, that she and Regina would always be different, would always be unique and special. It was strictly inevitable, and she vowed to herself to stop trying to subdue it. Even if she couldn't have Regina in the way she truly wanted, she never wanted to lose what they already had, and she could see that Regina would never wish to lose it either. She had been a fool to think this a good idea, and chided herself for it immediately. But soon let it go, so that she could return to assuring her Queen that all was well.
"I will return to your side shortly," Emma began, letting a smile grace her lips strictly for the benefit of Regina. She saw it work immediately, as Regina's features softened and her own smile began to show, lighting up her face with such beauty that Emma almost faltered against the door frame. "But I am unsure as to how long the King may keep me. Maybe this would be a good opportunity to visit with your father in the time I am gone?" Emma suggested, raising her eyebrows as she smiled and nodded her head. Regina seemed to like this idea.
"Yes, I think I shall," Regina replied. And then she granted Emma one of those signature smiles, the one she seemed to reserve just for Emma alone, and Emma felt her heart thrum in her chest, beating incessantly against her.
And with that, Emma closed the door and was gone, leaving Regina in her empty chamber room. The smile still played across her lips, and she relished in the moment for just a few more seconds to absorb it's splendor. Then she turned back to her vanity and put on the last few touches before rising from her chair and exiting her chamber rooms, making her way towards her father's apartments.
"Regina!" Henry exclaimed happily as he turned his head towards the sound of the door. Regina's smile spread wide at the sight of her father in good spirits. She silently thanked the servant next to her for providing her entry to her parents' apartments after inquiring if her mother was present or not, and then walked further into her father's quarters. Henry rose from his chair and turned around to make his way to her, meeting her in the middle of the room and immediately wrapping her in a warm embrace. "What a pleasant surprise," he uttered, pulling apart from Regina and looking upon her with adoration. Regina mirrored the same expression.
"I hope I am not disturbing you?" Regina asked. Her father shook his head fervently.
"No, no. Never," Henry responded, searching her eyes. "What do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
"Actually, it was...Emma's suggestion," Regina answered, unable to allow a smile to cross her face as she thought of her Knight. "It has been some time since I have sat with you and spent the opportunity to catch up, and she suggested I meet with you while she tends to an order of the King's," Regina continued, feeling her smile waiver at the mention of Leopold. Henry's face also tightened at the mention of the King, as well as Emma's requirement to be at his beck and call.
"Will she be alright? What has he got her completing for him now?" Henry asked, searching his daughter's eyes. Regina closed her own eyes and shook her head lightly, then opened them again to look straight at her father, her breathing beginning to increase in rate as her emotions began to take over.
"It's complete nonsense and he's putting Emma in such a terrible position without any recourse to accomplish what he seeks and—"
"Regina…" Henry interrupted, watching Regina's agitation increase with each word she spoke, though none of it made any sense to him as of yet. "Sweetheart, let's sit down." Henry indicated to the lush sofa couch near to them, and took Regina's hands as he led her to sit beside him. As soon as they were seated, Henry looked into Regina's eyes with concern and fatherly love, then let a soft smile cross his lips before speaking. "Now, tell me what's going on. But, start from the beginning." Regina nodded her head in understanding, letting the frustration that had erupted within her earlier begin to taper off as she thought of a way to start back and explain to her father what was happening.
"Emma arrived yesterday evening to my chambers in such a state, father, I knew something was wrong immediately. She proceeds to finally alert me to the fact that Leopold 'found out' about my secret."
"What secret?" Henry asked, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.
"That is exactly what I asked her. She advised me that he had found out about my secret love affair with another man, and how I was head over heels in passionate love for this unidentified brute!" Regina had a hard time holding back from shouting, but managed some decorum after those words, allowing a scoff instead once she had finished her sentence. Her eyes found her father's and he looked at her with an inquisitive gaze, almost as if he had believed this information, but not quite in the way it had been described.
"Is it...true, Regina?" Henry asked. Regina's face erupted in surprise and a tinge of revulsion.
"No!" Regina answered, the resounding response enough to convince anyone within a 50-foot radius of her sincerity. Henry's eyes widened, prompting Regina to close her eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to regain some control of her bubbling anger for Leopold and the whole situation. "I'm sorry, Daddy. No, it is not true." She paused, opening her eyes to give her father a glance that showed she had calmed down. "But now this has caused her to have to pretend to run around to find out who this man is, and he wants identification as soon as possible. Leopold is refusing to believe it is not true."
"Is it not possible to provide any evidence to him that no man exists? That you aren't secretly harboring feelings for someone else?"
Regina stopped short of her response, about to explain how she had learned from Emma that Leopold was certain of this information, that he had stated his sources were reliable and trustworthy, that he was out for blood. But she couldn't find words after the second part of his question was announced into the room. Her mouth still stood slightly agape and she closed it quickly, stopping herself from the answer she was going to provide as she searched her brain for any semblance of explanation.
"Regina?" Henry prompted, searching her eyes. She stared at her father, unsure of what to say. She should immediately say that there was no one else, that she wasn't breaking any royal laws...that her heart didn't belong to someone now. But this was her father, the one man - the one person - who had been her only source of comfort and love throughout her entire life. She couldn't lie to this man. She wouldn't.
Henry's eyes suddenly widened slightly after a few more moments, seeming to find the secret in Regina's eyes that she finally let him see.
"Regina…is there…?" Henry asked cautiously. Regina closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she prepared to answer him.
"Daddy," Regina started, opening her eyes again to her father. She felt the tears begin to pool in the corners as the relief began to fill her instantly, knowing she would be sharing with him her more cherished and protected secret. "I have found love."
Henry's face reacted slowly as Regina watched his eyes begin to grow wider second by second. After a few moments had actually passed, she watched his eyes turn bright as a smile began to spread across his face while his eyebrows rose. His grin became contagious, stretching and touching areas of his face that hadn't been reached in years, and Regina watched as tears began to form in his eyes as well, the entire area around him changing to match the energy of joy and happiness she exuded as the words she spoke hit him.
"Regina, this is…!" Henry began, his voice high as she watched the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. But before he could finish his sentence, he fell towards her and wrapped his arms around her in an embrace so tight, Regina was not even aware that he could possess so much power and strength in his elderly physique. She laughed lightly in his arms, soaking up the feeling of happiness and love that flowed from him as he clutched tighter. Then he suddenly sprang apart from her, placing his hands on her shoulders and capturing her eyes once more. "When will she be back? When can I see her?"
Regina was struck with complete shock, her face going blank while her eyes practically bulged out of their sockets at his words. Had she heard him correctly? Had he just asked…
"Regina?!" Henry uttered, anxious for a response to his question. Regina just stared at him, her brow furrowing in bewilderment.
"I'm sorry, Daddy...who is it you're asking about?" Regina questioned, attempting to make sure her brain wasn't playing tricks with the words she heard from her father's mouth.
"Emma, of course! When will she be back? When can I see her and thank her? Oh, Regina, I can't tell you how happy I am for you, and I can't wait to tell Emma the same," Henry responded, his eyes glinting with mirth while he stared at Regina in elated expectation.
"Daddy...how did you know it was...?" Regina began to ask, but with her shock still running rampant through her mind, she was unable to complete her thought. She watched her father's face calm slightly, watching the recognition dawn on him that she was unaware he had long known that Emma was the most worthy person in the realm for his daughter.
"Because Emma has been the only one to make you smile the same way I did when you were a child, before all of this madness and chaos of your life, back when things were simple and true...back when you were happy. I have seen that happiness come out in you again ever since she came into your life," Henry supplied, the heart and love embedded in words enveloping Regina in a cloak of tenderness and care. Her lips spread into a large smile as the tears began to fall down her face. But unfortunately, it didn't last long as she realized she still had to tell her father that it was not mutual.
"She does, Daddy, you're right," Regina began, wiping the tears from her eyes as she felt some of the happiness begin to dwindle away. "But she doesn't know—"
"What?!" Henry shrieked. "She doesn't know how you feel?"
"Well, no," Regina answered, attempting to go back to her explanation. "And I'd like to keep it that way for—"
"Regina," Henry stated in a stern voice. "You must tell her. You must!"
"Daddy, no," Regina responded, her voice firm. "I do not want to risk losing her."
"But, Regina, love must be shared! Love must be—"
"No, Daddy," Regina stopped her father's words immediately with the look she gave and her statement. He looked at his daughter with sad eyes, all of the happiness they had both just been holding so close suddenly gone.
"But...why, Regina?" Henry asked, the sadness in his voice evident. Regina felt her expression soften, her eyes fill with sadness but also compassion, as she attempted a smile against the tears falling once again. Her breath hitched in her throat, and she felt the gasp fall from her lips before she tried to speak again.
"Daddy," Regina started. "I can't lose her. I just...can't. I can't risk losing her by making her aware of my feelings in the chance that she would wish to turn away from me."
"Regina, I don't think she will tur—"
"Daddy, no. No - I will not have it." Regina's voice was thick with stern sounds, the inflections in her voice reduced to a minimal level, the flat and harsh tones overtaking the conversation. But Regina's face showed the emotion she felt in her heart - the heartache of a love unrequited, but the bliss of its love still there. And Henry understood that she had made up her mind. "I can't lose her, Daddy. And if this…" She paused as she let a hitched breath cycle through again. "If this is all I can have in order to keep her here, then I will bask in it, and hold it close, for it is more than nothing, and not having her at all would be the end of me." Regina took this moment to capture her father's eyes as the tears flowed from hers against her words. "It would kill me, Daddy. Losing her would..."
Henry stared at his daughter, watching her hold onto the little shred of happiness that she had for herself, even if it wasn't in the state in which it could blossom to its full potential. And as he looked upon her, having finally found love but too scared to chase after it, he knew what he must do. To whatever degree, and whatever outcome, he must find a way for Regina to love Emma in the way it was meant to be done. He would do whatever it took to make this a reality instead of a dream, to grant her the only opportunity she would have for pure love. And he would stop at nothing, nothing at all.
He would find a way to bring his daughter and her Knight together.
"The daring Knight finally finds an afternoon free to drink the local lager with her best mate, hmm?" Killian asked from the bar, a tankard in his hand, and his devilishly handsome face smoldering with a smirk that would make the ladies go weak at the knees. Emma realized it was a good thing she didn't fall for his antics.
"Does that really work?" Emma asked as she took a seat by him at the bar, the stool raising her up off the ground. "That look?"
"Why?" Killian asked, his eyebrow popping in response. "You want some pointers?" He grinned.
Emma had returned from her meeting with the King, surprised that it had been as short as it was. She had found the King meeting with Arthur, and when she was bid to enter his library, he simply asked if any new information had been discovered, to which Emma advised there had not, explaining she had not been around before the Queen had returned to her chambers the evening before, and found that she did not leave throughout the night. The King seemed to take this information lightly, and waved her off with his hand once finding out she had no real news to report to him.
Still reeling from the past 24 hours, Emma had made her way back slowly to the Queen's quarters, only to find her still absent in meeting with her father. Alice had been there, advising that the Queen would be gone for some time and she had thanked the young woman, deciding to make her way to the village, intent on finding Killian instead. Having heard that he had found a new tavern to hang around, she had made her way into the forest to finally discover him here. But her mind seemed to still be occupied, still churning about what the King had told her the night before, how her own feelings had seemed to escalate after the, albeit false, report of Regina loving another man had come to light. She still didn't understand how it was that the King seemed to find there to be no falsity to the claims against Regina, and how she had missed anything in Regina's activities that could have possibly clued him in to these notions about her. But she couldn't stop her mind from completely deconstructing every single detail, coming up with nothing that could have lead to these assumptions, but also making her realize that she had to get her feelings and thoughts under control, otherwise she would provide a dead giveaway to the King, or worse, Regina herself.
Now that Emma had found Killian, she wasn't sure what she could tell him. Sure, he already knew about her feelings over the Queen, but would he understand how it was that they had increased in the time since they last spoke, instead of having been put under lock and key like what should have occurred? Emma could feel her resolve starting to crack under the pressure that she felt, both self-inflicted as well as what was being asked of her by the King. She had started to feel overwhelmed by the requested tasks of the King, only because she was losing more and more insight as to how to appease him and keep him in a good state with her while keeping the protective ring around Regina that she had devoted herself to so willingly, and still continued to pursue. Maybe she would need to speak with Alice or the physician about further action, or possibly even Regina's father, Henry.
"No thank you." Emma finally answered Killian, realizing she had gone quiet for a few moments as her thoughts had run rampant. She turned towards the bartender and raised her hand to signal the man over. "When did you find this place? I didn't think there was any tavern besides Whale's." The bartender arrived and Emma ordered her drink.
"I ventured through the forest one day after a spat with Gold, and stumbled upon this. Has a good fare of grog and liquor, and the ladies aren't bad to look at either." Killian smirked again, and this time Emma rolled her eyes. "What?" He asked at her expression. "I figured we could eye them together, pick out a few to have fun with. What do you say?"
"Just because I…"
"Look for the same under the skirts as I do? Drop anchor in the sea of the mermaids instead of the mermen? Frolic after females instead of the dastardly demonic males now?" Killian supplied, encouraging another eye roll from Emma.
"Enjoy the company of the fairer sex," Emma whispered, causing Killian to laugh hardheartedly. "Doesn't mean I'm going to go off and search for easy prey just because that's what you're interested in pursuing." Emma raised an eyebrow at him, to which Killian responded with a raise of his mug.
"Ah, hear hear. So no easy paths for you to the bosom of a woman." Killian took a swig then placed his tankard on the surface of the bar, a loud thunk erupting from the wood as it crashed down with his weight. "You are seeking something more permanent then, hmm?" He scratched his chin in thought, playing with the scruff against his face as he pretended to think concertedly about how he would help Emma. She rolled her eyes again, thanking the bartender as her drink was brought over.
"I have no interest in a pursuant of any sort, Killian Jones," Emma replied, taking a first tentative sip her drink and liking it, noting how much more robust the flavor was compared to the water-downed ale Whale served at his tavern.
"Ah, bollocks," Killian responded, picking up his drink again and taking a long pull, emptying its contents. He let the mug crash to the bar top again, and bent closer to Emma in order to whisper into her ear. "What if it was with a certain royal, hmm?" Killian's whisper was low, but Emma still looked back at him with wide eyes. He leaned back to return her gaze, and she saw that his face wasn't teasing anymore, but instead completely serious and penetrating, as if trying to find the answer within her instead of through her words.
Emma's mind went blank, and she felt the thin fibers holding her resolve together finally split. She felt the rush of her heart speed up and grab hold of her, squeezing hard, making her feel sweat begin to pool at her brow. She grabbed her drink and downed its contents, emptying it immediately. Throwing some coin onto the bar, she thanked the bartender again, and then stepped off the stool, grabbing Killian's hand, pulling him off his seat and leading him out of the tavern into the cool, crisp air of the forest.
"Swan!" Killian shouted as Emma dragged him further away from the tavern doors. She wasn't sure if she was angry or frightened, or perhaps a mixture of both. "Jesus, Swan! What the bloody hell—"
"What did you just say, Killian?" Emma asked in a shout, practically pulling his arm out of its socket as she whipped him around to look into her face. Perhaps it was anger she was feeling right then.
"Emma, calm down," Killian began, but Emma cut him off.
"I will not calm down. You cannot say those things! Do realize what could happen?! I cannot have these increased feelings! I cannot allow this to continue!" She began spewing the same words from her mouth that had been recited through her thoughts for hours now, perhaps days if she were to be honest.
"Emma, just let me—"
"No!" Emma shouted again, stripping Killian of his words. "This cannot be discussed. If I just ignore it, it will go away eventually. If I just push it down, it won't cause problems, or make me react to events that I shouldn't react to, or behave in ways in which she knows and sees and…" But then Emma trailed off, and Killian suddenly looked at her with different eyes; with concern, and confusion.
"Swan?" Killian began. "Emma. What are you talking about?" He walked closer to her and reached out a hand, placing it against her forearm as he looked upon her with her head dropped to her chest, her hands running through her hair. "What are you going on about? What happened? What...increased feelings?"
Emma pulled her hands from her hair and brought them to her eyes, rubbing her face hard as she felt every piece of her crumble to her feet. This was bad. It had gotten out of hand.
"Emma," Killian began again, grabbing her chin and tilting it up so her eyes would meet his gaze. She dropped her hands and opened her eyes to stare at him, but all she saw was concern and tenderness from her friend. "What happened with the Queen?" He asked, knowing instantly what Emma was rambling on about, if not the specifics. Emma felt her body let go then, and the tears came without control, welling up in her eyes and spilling over her cheeks. Killian's concern turned intense, and he grabbed her arm, looping it through his own, and then took off down the path before them, further away from the tavern and finding a spot against a tree to sit. He pulled her down to sit next to him, her tears still running down her face, and he grabbed a handkerchief from the inside of his sleeve, presenting it to her as soon as they were seated. "Now, tell me. What happened?" Killian asked again.
Emma took the handkerchief and wiped her eyes, then turned to face him, seeing the love that he held for her bubbling there in his gaze, prompting her to feel safe telling Killian the truth.
Emma sat and told Killian everything, from what really happened the night of the storm she was caught in, to what had happened before he had come to her to tell of her mother's illness, to Regina's involvement in caring for her mother and her recovery. And then she arrived to the last few days, explaining the events that had taken place - the conversation with the King, the news he had shared regarding Regina, her initial reaction to this news and describing how she had felt, learning that it had been completely untrue, but still affected by the raw rebound she had felt when under the assumption it was real. And she explained her experience just last night, allowing her mind and body to fill with the idea of Regina, and then the response her psyche had created from that moment. Killian listened to it all, holding her hands tightly and keeping his eyes connected with her as she spoke. His expression was curious, intent on listening and gathering all of the information he could from her words, and as she finished, she was grateful to him more than she could say, for the act of just speaking her thoughts out loud helped her resolve begin to rebuild.
"Well," Killian remarked, a grin appearing on his face. "It seems you have quite a bit going on, haven't you?" Emma was actually able to laugh then, feeling his words wrap up and envelope her, bringing contentment to her heart for the first time in days. His grin widened at her laugh, and he lifted his arm to wrap around her shoulder, pulling her in close to him. Her head leaned against his shoulder, and she closed her eyes as she let him hold her. In the absence of her parents and the inability to have Regina as a source of comfort like her heart desired, Killian was, again, always one she could count on, and he proved determined to provide her what she needed. After a few moments, he spoke again. "Listen, Swan, I just...have one question to ask of you that I didn't hear you cover." Emma sat up and looked into Killian's eyes, which seemed inquisitive.
"What's that?"
"Have you ever...considered...telling her?" Killian asked slowly as he gently let his question fall upon her ears.
"No," Emma responded, feeling some of the pain re-enter her heart. "No, Killian, I can't." She dropped her head and breathed deeply. "The very last thing I want is to bring this kind of information to light, to give Regina more to worry about. It could cause so many problems - she could feel that I only worked hard to keep her safe because of my feelings—"
"Which is sort of true," Killian interjected. Emma gave him a look. "I mean, it is! You are working hard to protect because you do love her. Don't you see? I mean, I don't think your actions would be any different if you didn't have feelings for the Queen…" He trailed off, capturing her eyes again with his before he continued. "But I don't think the same fire would be burn beneath it all if your heart wasn't passionate about it staying this way." Emma thought on this.
"Well, perhaps you're right. But in this case, I guess I could see that as a benefit. But what about if she finds out that my love is...different? What if she feels that I am just like the King - objectifying her? What if she turns against me, loses her trust? What if she...hates me?" Emma let all of those questions fall free against the strain she held in the pit of her stomach over their possibilities. But Killian got her attention once more.
"Swan, I would be hard-pressed to believe that the Queen would think any of those things. I have every belief that she would never see you in any way close to how she views the King, nor that she would turn against you, or hate you. You have provided her with a gift no one has ever been able to give her before."
"I have?" Emma asked, confused.
"You have provided her a safe space. A place where she can count on you to protect her. A place where she can be her true self when she is with you."
"Her father gives her those same things."
"As he should," Killian agreed, but then took a deep breath before continuing, intent on convincing Emma of his next words. "But you - you are from the outside. You receive no benefit, no recognition for your contributions, yet you never fail. She has come to trust you only because of the love you have for her, the love that she sees, even if it isn't the version you feel so deeply in your heart." Killian pressed a finger to Emma's chest and paused at that, allowing her to revel over those words and internalize them completely. She began to consider what it was that Killian said before he continued again. "Love is a gift, in any form. If you will not tell her how you truly feel, just be sure to never let her believe that you will disappear. You do not need to hold yourself back the way you think."
"Love may be a gift," Emma whispered at first. "It is a gift, I know that. But I can never...love her...the way...the way she is meant to be loved, even though…,"
"You so desperately want to be the one to do so?" Killian asked, pushing through Emma's lament. She nodded her head, finally letting the complete truth be said instead of just hidden within her thoughts. She watched as Killian grinned with compassion, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close again.
"Never say never, Swan. I mean, who knows…" He paused then, keeping his hand tight against her shoulder as she rested against him. "Maybe the Queen has feelings for you…"
Emma sat bolt upright, her eyes wide as she looked at Killian, to which he only smirked and gave her a wink, causing her heart to speed up immediately, her mind flashing with the possibility.
Was it even possible that Regina could have feelings for her?
Later That Afternoon
"Emma!" Henry shouted, causing Emma to stop in her tracks as she was making her way towards Regina's quarters from the grand staircase. She turned to see the older man shuffling quickly towards her, and began to walk towards him to prevent him from having to go too far to reach her.
After having spent the afternoon with Killian, Emma had felt better, as talking with him usually did. But she felt as if she had left more confused though at the possibility he had brought to light. She had used the walk back to the castle once they had parted to think on the idea that he had presented. However, she was still unable to be convinced that it were true. But now that she had arrived back in the castle itself, and she saw Henry here calling out to her, her thoughts scattered away, focusing on the task at hand, as well as her duties and responsibilities to Regina within these walls.
"Henry," Emma stated, arriving in front of Regina's father. "How are you today?"
"Oh, just fine, just fine, Emma. Thank you for asking," Henry responded, a bright and wide smile across his face that was so infectious, Emma felt her own grin begin to stretch across her lips.
"Well, that's wonderful," Emma continued. "Is there any way I can be of service t—"
"Would you come with me for a moment?" Henry asked, cutting Emma off from her words in a speedy request. Emma's expression turned quizzical but left her smile present, wondering what the old man could be up to.
"Of course," Emma responded, prompting Henry to turn around and begin shuffling down the hall from the direction he had arrived. Emma actually had to run a few steps to catch up with the fast moving man before she arrived by his side, laughing quietly to herself. This prompted her to realize that her spirits had been lifted by the visit from Killian, for she was finding joy and laughter in those parts of her life she had experienced before, and that made her feel as though she would be able to handle all that was going on around her, even if she was confused about certain aspects.
A few minutes later, having not uttered a single word to Emma as they had walked, Henry arrived at the door to his quarters and quickly opened it, ushering Emma in faster than she thought was necessary, pushing herself through the door before Henry closed it directly against her back.
"Henry, is everything alright?" Emma asked, rubbing against the spot where the door had shut against her as she walked in behind him.
"Would you like some tea or anything? Perhaps a shot of brandy?" Henry asked, turning towards her and smiling with eagerness. Emma looked at him curiously again, still unable to wipe the grin from her face, wondering what it was that had him in such a state of excitement.
"No, thank you Henry," Emma responded, moving further into the room. "Is there something you needed from me?" She questioned, trying to find out why it was he insisted she follow him to his quarters.
"Oh, just a chat," Henry responded, turning away from her as he fetched something for himself to drink. Emma raised an eyebrow.
"A chat?"
"Mm hmm."
"What is it you would like to...chat about?"
Henry walked back to where Emma stood, but pointed behind her, indicating a corner where two chairs sat next to one of his bookshelves.
"Please, come have a seat." Henry began to walk towards the chairs, and sat himself down slowly into one before pointing to the other for Emma to sit in. She looked at the older man curiously again, but sat down in the chair all the same, still wondering what it was that Henry seemed enthusiastic about. When Henry didn't say anything once they had sat down, instead just beaming at her with bright eyes and a wide grin, Emma needed to find out what was going on.
"Henry, I can't seem to help noticing that you're quite…"
"Happy?" Henry provided before Emma could finish her sentence. She sat stunned for a moment before continuing.
"Well, yes," she responded.
"Well I am. Happy, that is," Henry stated, his grin spreading.
"Well, that's good," Emma remarked, staring at Henry to wait for more of an explanation but not getting anything further from him. She blew out a puff of air that made the hair above her eyes flutter as she sat back against the chair with a thud, wondering what this whole game was about. I mean, this was Henry - not the King, or Cora, or even Arthur, whom she still was trying to find out an angle over - this was Regina's father, a good man, one that cared for his daughter deeply. Why would he be holding Emma hostage with nothing more than just to say he was happy? "Henry, are you sure there isn't something I can do for you?"
Henry just gleamed at her, but it seemed to Emma that he did have something he wanted to say. So she waited.
"Truth be told, I only wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I appreciate what you have been doing for Regina." Emma was slightly taken aback by this, surprised at how Henry was bringing this up again. Hadn't they already had this conversation? She suddenly hoped she had never given him reason to think she needed any sort of praise for her actions on a regular basis.
"I am more than happy to be a part of it, Henry. I want to be a part of it. I don't expect anything in return for what I do for Regina," Emma clarified, using a soft voice but stern tones to convey her intent.
"Of course, of course," Henry responded, dropping his head and nodding. Then he paused before looking back up at her and capturing her completely with his gaze. He looked so determined to speak his next words to her, as if they were words brandished in gold itself. "But you have done wondrous things for her, beyond that of your actions against...well...those that needed to be taken." Henry paused again, biting his lower lip suddenly, looking as though he was contemplating what to say next. Not as if he was making an attempt to find something else to say, but almost as if he was deciding what secrets his next words should or should not contain. "You have provided her with something she has never had before, something I was...unable to give her…" Henry trailed off at that, leaving Emma speechless and completely overwhelmed by the recognition this man was bestowing on her, despite her clarification that she didn't need it. But yet, she was still unsure what it was that he was identifying.
"I have a hard time believing that you have not provided her with anything I was able to. I've seen how hard you work, Henry, to make Regina feel protected and safe during this ordeal. To make sure she knows...love." Emma provided.
"Yes, well," Henry started. "I won't deny that it has been difficult to find opportunities making sure she feels love from her father against all those who steal away her time for evil deeds. But I haven't been able to go as far as what you've done for her. I haven't been able to divert the King's actions, hold Regina protected against his ways, and enclose her in a safety net the way you have done. This has given Regina something she has never experienced before in her adult life." Henry paused here, looking at Emma with that same expression he had earlier, as if contemplating over the secrets he possessed. "Hope, Emma. You've given her hope."
Emma sat up straighter at this, her eyes penetrating Henry's. But he returned her gaze with just as much intensity, and she saw a flash of something cross his face as she looked into his gaze. Something else was there, something he wanted to say but wouldn't, something else that would change everything Emma knew about this world of royals and monsters, of feelings and discovery, one that she had stumbled upon by pure accident. But he wouldn't say.
As Emma continued to look at Henry, the gaze softened between them, effectively making the hidden secrets Henry was holding disappear from behind his eyes.
"Hope can be a very powerful thing, and I have seen it change Regina into a stronger woman, someone more willing to stand up to her demons. You did that, Miss Swan. And, as her father, I will be eternally grateful to you for that and that alone." Emma humbled at these words, feeling the gratitude exude off Regina's father as if it were wrapping her in an embrace. "If there is one thing I may ask of you, if at all possible…"
"Anything," Emma responded quickly, wanting to show her own gratitude at Henry's kind words.
"Stay with her. Please. I...I know that is asking a lot, I know that this request will put your own life at risk and on hold for god knows how long," Henry stated, some animosity rising from him at the last words as he thought of the hell his daughter had been made to endure this long already and that Emma was now taking right along with her. Then his eyes reached up to Emma. "I know how much weight this plea holds, how it will make you endure troubles and tribulations and sacrifices that no person should ever have to go through, including my own daughter. But please, stay with her until there is a change. Stay with her until something is done, until the King is no longer a threat, until her life is her own again. Please...just...stay."
Emma looked into Henry's eyes again and saw such sorrow emerge from deep within, and she watched the whole story play out in front of her. The story of how Henry had kept his daughter enveloped in the only love he could give while Cora manipulated Regina throughout her childhood, how Henry had whisked Regina away from the confines of her servitude whenever possible to give her a taste of unconditional love and kindness by the actions bestowed upon her by her loving father, how Henry had suffered so heavily when Leopold had come along and stolen Regina away from him, and how he had come to find out about the behaviors Leopold took upon his one and only daughter once the marriage was finalized. And then she saw a part that made her heart ache, seeing how he had watched his daughter's spirit fade and die away as these events took hold of her entirely. Emma felt the request right in the pit of her center, hearing this father make a plea on his daughter's behalf, asking someone else to sacrifice a piece of their life just so his daughter didn't have to endure what she had already for over 20 years. But as Emma thought about his words, she realized that he didn't know.
To her, this wasn't a sacrifice.
"Henry, I will never leave Regina," Emma finally responded.
"Well, now, you don't have to say 'never', Emma," Henry began, dropping his gaze from hers. "I hope and believe that this won't last forever, but just—"
"Henry," Emma interrupted, to which he stopped speaking and looked up at her again. Emma tried to think of a way to tell Henry how she didn't consider this a loss in her life, to serve her Queen in a way that protected her and kept her safe. That she didn't find this to be a sacrifice at all. That she would willing do this because...because of the love she carried for Regina. "I don't want to leave Regina. I want to help, to assist, to…" She paused. "To give her hope. I want to be here. I want to...stay with Regina...for as long as she'll have me." But her words died there, fearing she may have stepped too far.
But the look on Henry's face immediately wiped those thoughts from her mind. His wide smile practically blinded her, causing her to feel her own begin to draw against her lips. He stayed like that for a few moments before speaking.
"That's wonderful, Emma. Absolutely wonderful."
Sometime later, Emma left Henry's quarters feeling better than she had in days. As she walked away, she recalled her discussion with Killian, as well as speaking with Henry, and realized that her spirit had been recharged. She was ready to face whomever and whatever came her way in order to protect Regina. Her job meant more to her now than it had ever before, only because now, it wasn't a job anymore. It was her choice.
As Henry had watched Emma walk away, he saw a spring in her step that had not been there upon arrival, and he hoped that meant that he had conveyed properly those points he had wanted to make. He would make sure to plant as many seeds both to Emma and Regina in order to get them together yet. It was the best thing he could do for his daughter, and one of the only things he was able to do while she was married to the King. He knew there would be many steps that came afterwards to deal with the King and, at some point, even Cora, but if he could only just get these two women to confess their love for one another, he had full belief that everything else would fall into place.
"Mr. Mills?"
Henry turned suddenly towards a voice down the opposite end of the hall, seeing a man clad all in armor and leathers as if he had just come from battle. Henry looked the man up and down, resting on his pale blue eyes as he strode forward.
"Yes?" Henry answered, a bit bewildered that he had never seen this man before. "May I help you?"
"Yes, please, Mr. Mills. My name is Arthur." The man reached out his hand, and Henry stared at it for a moment before looking back and up while taking the man's outstretched greeting. "I am the King's new personal guard." Henry bristled at this information, and dropped Arthur's hand immediately. "If you would be so kind, I would like to take a moment to speak with you. I have been attempting to get a hold of Miss Swan for some days now, but it seems her schedule packs quite a bit of responsibility."
"Well, she just left my quarters. Perhaps you could track her down now?" Henry provided, pointing down the hall, keen on letting Emma handle this man instead of him.
"Yes, but I believe she is on her way to see to the Queen," Arthur supplied, looking pointedly at Henry. Henry stayed silent, knowing it was true. "I dare not separate her dedication to the Queen directly."
"No, I suppose that would be unwise," Henry stated. He realized this man would not leave him alone, so he stood up taller and rose his chin as he continued to address him. "How may I be of service?"
"Would you mind if we stepped into your quarters? I would like to stay away from prying ears," Arthur whispered, rotating his head around to look up and down the hallway. The hairs on the back of Henry's neck rose.
"I suppose," Henry supplied, making movement to turn around to his door before Arthur stopped him with a hand to his arm.
"Please do not be wary of me," Arthur pleaded, his eyes turning softer as Henry turned to look at him once more. "I understand that is a difficult request in a castle such as this, with the events going on and the secrets hidden within these walls," he continued, causing Henry's eyes to go wide as the man spoke. "But if you just give me a few moments of your time, I can prove to you that I am here in peace. That I am here…" Arthur stopped suddenly, letting go of Henry's arm, indicating with his hand for Henry to move into his chamber room. Henry looked at him quizzically but took the hint, and turned back to his door to enter his quarters. Arthur followed close behind and quickly shut the door behind him as Henry moved into the room himself, turning around to face the King's personal guard as he walked further toward him. Arthur took a deep breath as he locked onto Henry's eyes before speaking again. "That I am here to ask for your help, and for Emma's and anyone else within the castle that has assisted with keeping Regina away from the King."
Henry gasped, his hand rising quickly to his mouth at Arthur's words. The King's personal guard knew of the reality between his daughter and Leopold? How?
"Wh...what?" Henry quivered. But Arthur held his gaze with stern yet kind eyes.
"I am here to assist Emma, and I need your help in getting a party together to talk, privately, at the earliest convenience of those who can also provide assistance."
"But...why?" Henry asked, unable to control his skepticism but also his complete bewilderment at the man standing in front of him.
"Because…" Arthur started. "I am here to help your daughter rid herself from the King…
...forever."