Chapter 11 - Remorse, Regret, and Peaches

Riven

The nurse entered my room without bothering to knock. My arm had been healed - patched up hung limply cradled at my side. I assumed she was here to re-bandage it, but I was wrong on that case. She was here to feed my guilt.

There was still a bruise from where Jax's lantern had smote me, but the nose wasn't broken anymore. At least that's something. They had bigger patients to worry about healing then me, just judging from how many people I saw around. The hospital was filled with summoners and common citizens coming in and out, and the air was sickly clean. Half of my mind didn't even understand how I got here to this strange place, everything seemed to be a daze. The other half was just silently brooding.

This room was strange to me - Usually when I'd be treated for injuries, it was outside, and in the center of my platoon. There would be men on both sides of the benches, showing off just why they earned their keep. But now, I was alone in this room except for the nurse, and without a single urge to brag about any of this. Silently waiting for the nurse to torture me.

"Riven. I've been with a lot of champions in my career here. So I know what you went through. Fighting to champions is as normal as walking is." She frowned.

"Sometimes, you don't even realize where your feet carry you, auto-pilot of sorts." She paused again for a bit, biting her lips. Her words seemed monotone to me, as if they were repeated again and again, day in and day out. The next set didn't. "...That's why it's dangerous for summoners to get close to champions. Are you listening to me?"

I turned my head up and met her eyes. Blue. Black hair. I nodded. Sure, I was listening.

She spoke calmly, but there was something in her voice. Like rage, just seething under the current, trying to escape shackles violently. "What happened?" I croaked out, before she could speak. I had to know. Because I knew the answer. I knew what happened. But I still had to ask. I couldn't believe it myself yet.

She took a breath, and gave me a straight answer. "You narrowly killed a summoner, but he's being treated now, and is expected to make a recovery. In days at least. l... If he had died. I'd never forgive you."

There it was. I rarely misjudge people. It's often fatal to. Her eyes were turning red, puffy. I'd seen this look a few times. On Ionians, usually children. It didn't fit her pretty features, and I felt horrible about it. Friendly fire was the most tragic thing to happen, but I didn't understand just how hard it hit the offender until now.

In the back of my mind, I knew one monster who had no qualms with such a concept.

"I don't think you realize just how messed up you are." She hissed, venom dripping in her voice. "My heart stopped when I saw Jax carry him into the lobb-" Her voice faded, and it looked like she was fighting something. She fumbled a bit and looked at me with a hawk gaze. Finding no words, she just flatly gaped at me. My hand instinctively reached for my sword, sensing danger. I held it in check. I would account for my actions.

She hovered for a moment, but some part of her won over. "I'm going now," She simply stated, stood and left.
Outside of the hallways, I heard her voice again. "Get someone else to care for her. I don't care if I get fired. I'll be in room 27 with him... I don't care. Deal with it."

I only looked down at my hands, silently connecting the dots.

What the hell happened?

Higgs

My eyes cracked open. I felt warm and nice. Calm too.
"Hmmm," I hummed. In front of me was an older lady, smiling sweetly. I recognized her as the grand healer, Kate's boss. Or 'The old hag' as Kate so 'affectionately' called her.

I tried moving my head, but instantly I realized I was not calm. I wasn't warm, and I most definitely didn't feel 'nice'.

"Ow." Was the only thing I could say. Even that hurt. All the muscles in my neck alerted me that moving around was quite out of my mind to even think about.
"Right on schedule, Summoner Higgs. You shouldn't try to move, you might feel as old as I am for a few hours."
Good idea old hag, and yes, you're quite right about that.

In my field of vision was a rather odd collection of people. Lux was the first one I saw, looking relieved. Garen was sitting next to her, looking worried, and Kat next to him, looking bored.

"Garen, what a surprise." I said, half coughing it out. Why was it hard to talk all of a sudden? And it hurt!
Oh right, Riven strangled me. That explains the throat. Guess that's part of the deal for hanging out with champions. Nothing a health pot won't fix. But for some reason the rest of my body felt like a brick.

I panicked for a moment when I realized I couldn't move anything, but waves of pain from the muscles told me I could move - just my body thought it was a piss poor decision.

"I'm only here because Lux is here," The Demacian huffed out. My eyes looked at Kat, "I'm only here because Garen is here." She said next, not bothering to meet my look. If I could laugh, I certainly would have.

But lux would do that for me. My eyes met the lady in question, "I'm only here because the nurse said they'd be waking you up at this time." She smiled at me sadly.
So, I was in the hospital. That's odd. Might not be so bad however, I've been pretty good at avoiding to land in this spot for a while - but it did have it's legendary perks.

"So... Considering I'm going to be paying a fortune for intensive care, when do I get to see Akali in her nurse outfit? I demand proper compensation for my hard earned gold."
The Grand Healer laughed in her old sing-song voice.
"My, my, summoner Higgs. You have 4 champions waiting at your bedside, several more coming in and leaving you personal get-well-soon cards - and you've also made one of my nurses threaten to quit if she couldn't be by your side as well - and these are nurses employed by the league, they're irreplaceable. Best of their field. You're certainly a curious man."

"Yea yea, I'm so lucky and all that hubla. Tell you the truth lady, Champions are like pet lions. Anyone else looking in from the outside would say it's awesome to have a pet lion. The owner would say each day's another bite to bandage. That I've got 4 - well that's why I'm sitting here in your lovely company miss. And when you mean nurse..."
"She means me, Mal."
I knew that voice anywhere. Turning my eyes a bit, I saw Kate. Wonderful surprise. I don't get to see her often enough. I sneaked a grin at her, and she replied with a fuming glare. She's angry, that can't be good.

"I take it one nurse isn't enough for you? I'm hurt you'd want Akali here." She huffed, in her usual way, turning her head slightly to the side to avoid looking me in the eye.
I smiled, and I could see her eyes darting back to me and back again away. She knew if she looked at me, she'd burst a smile out and that would ruin any serious image she'd be attempting.
"Hmm, you count for two Akali's in nurse outfits. Maybe 2 and a half if you gave me a really sexy pose."
"You're a lucky man Mal. Don't ever forget that. Any other girl would have slapped you for that one."

I winked back at her, but she wasn't in a laughing mood right now.

I wanted to throw another joke at her to relax the mood a bit, except it turned into a cough and I could see it worried her. Once I was wheezing normally again, I ventured back into the serious realm.
"... So why am I here again? I remember I got strangled, but that's nothing life-threatening." If I was in the hospital, it likely meant something serious had gone on. Obviously I had to find out fast.

"That would be my fault, summoner." Riven's voice, My eyes turned again to the other side of the room, to see the Noxian sitting awkwardly on a chair. That's why they said there were 4 champions here when I counted 3. She was holding onto her sword like a drowning man holding onto a piece of driftwood. Guilty conscious must be the culprit trying to drown her. Better do something. My job is never over after all.

"That Noxus comment must have hit hard. Sorry about that Riven, there's a code I didn't follow through, and this," I said, trying to point my finger to all the surroundings, but only managed a weak half-inch motion with it.
"This is why that code exists."

Kate speared a glance at Riven, "You did this to him just because he said something about Noxus?" The voice was well tempered, but I could feel the angry energy behind it. I've rarely seen Kate angry, but when she is, I don't think there would be any cover from what that girl could unleash. I don't want to see a fight between the stubborn Riven bravado and Kate comebacks. I'm not sure who'd win either.

"Relax Kate, I'm all right. It's part of my job, y-" But the nurse cut me off. "Mal, Dying isn't part of your job. You don't seem to understand. This bi..." She swallowed and took a moment to re-compose herself.

"This 'woman' strangled you, broke your leg, broke several of your ribs, fractured almost everything in your body, ruptured your stomach and one of your lungs." She said, keeping count on her fingers. "Not to even mention the muscle contusions you have - which will keep you bedridden for a week - at minimum. That you were still half alive when jax carried you over here is a miracle on it's own right. We barely managed to save you - barely."

For a half a second, I didn't believe Kate. I thought she was exaggerating. But Riven flinched at every word Kate hissed out, and that's when a sinking feeling came in that it was true. Kate doesn't lie either. She's always been blunt and to the point, she wouldn't make a joke about that.
"... Wow" I said dumbly. "I don't remember any of it, past the strangling. It did seem a bit... excessive."

"It was excessive Higgs, I don't understand why I did that, really, I do not. It felt like it wasn't me, but at the same time was m-" Riven explained and was cut off by Kate.
"Are you trying to excuse yourself?! 'It wasn't me, it was some other me?' Listen to you! I don't think you und-" And kate was interrupted in turn by Lux.

"Calm down. Kate, I know you're really upset - Yes, I said upset. And yes, that's what you are." She said, stopping Kate from lashing out with one regal finger.
"Higgs almost died, but he didn't die. If he had, you'd be completely justified to hound after Riven all you want. It's understandable the only thing left is anger right now. But you've got to move on past that."

Kate stared daggers into Lux's eyes, and the two remained deadlocked, neither Lux nor her backing off. Both seemed evenly matched when it came to brute stubbornness. I'd never seen Lux do something like that, but apparently the ditzy blond girl had some secrets behind all those smiles. Katarina piped in for the first time, dispelling the air.

"I wish you hadn't interrupted that Lux. They would have started fighting, would have finally been something fun to watch." Katarina commented, one hand raised and displaying nails to her observing eye. Garen coughed, "I'm sure you'd have jumped in to stop the two. You're a better person than that."

Katarina gave him a sideways glance, as if asking if he had insulted her or praised her since she wasn't sure herself.
"I think you three should leave." Kate said, keeping her voice even.
"You don't kick me out: I choose to leave." Katarina said, sitting up and walking briskly away.
Garen watched her leave, and gave me a nod after.

"Summoner, get well soon. Avoid fights." He mutely said, standing up and taking his leave.
Lux didn't move for a moment. Then she said her parting words.

"I don't think what happened was normal."
Kate scoffed, but Lux kept going. "No, I don't mean to say it in that way kate. I mean I don't think Riven would do something like that. I can't even think of anything I could say that would make her act this way, let alone Higgs. He knows only half of what I've found, he's in even less of a position then I am to provoke something like this. Maybe a slight beating - at best."
The lady stood up, "I'll look into this more, but there's something really strange that went down. Kate, you know what I mean."

The nurse's eyes panned back to me. "Believe me, I checked: Tox report came back negative on all counts - for both of them. I double checked it, first thing when they arrived. Especially her's." Kate said, giving a crippling glance at Riven.

Lux shook her head, "No, this affected a champion. One would be an idiot to not make a quick-reacting agent when dealing with such delicate things."

"Are you saying I was drugged?" Riven demanded to know.
"No such evidence is here," Lux said, pointing to Kate as the reason. "But I suspect that might be the case."

Riven paled at that, and looked down to the ground, deep in thought.
"There's only one man... I believe I may have dragged you into my fight summoner." She said slowly.
"First, you'd have to be sure it was a drug problem," Kate said, clearly skeptical of everything. "Not ruling out that it wasn't, but I'd rather know everything first before we jump to something that miraculously clears you from what you've done. I'm not the believing type without seeing it firsthand, excuse me."

"I won't run from what I've done, if that's what you're implying." Riven answered back, this time strongly.
"Good. I'd have no respect for you if you did." Kate answered back just as heated.
Felt like watching a tennis match between the two, both glaring at one another. A moment passed like this, then they stood up as if there was an unvoiced agreement between them.

All three girls left the room, leaving me alone with no one. Where did the old hag go? She snuck out while we were all arguing. Which was great, since I wanted some shut eye. I didn't bother thinking about what went down, I'd have plenty of time for that latter. Instead I just closed my eyes and that was it.

Sleep took me like a long lost lover.

Riven

It wasn't long before I found him. He was always liked to gloat. Kate followed swiftly behind, not letting me out of her sight for more then one reason. Lux had her own errands to follow through; she trusted both of us would get to the bottom of things.

I didn't get much of an introduction to this nurse, but we already knew each other. As a soldier, I noticed Kate was a weakling, she belonged in the backline. As a person, I noticed Kate was just as strong and willing to stand up for the people she cared as I was. Of that, I couldn't help but respect her. She was blunt, to the point, and had no mercy for the wicked. It was unfortunate that I was the wicked here. But unlike most of the guilty - I wasn't going to excuse myself for this. I was going to make it right. Starting with Singed.

We reached the Noxus quarters, and from there, his lab wasn't far. And soon only his door guarded him from justice. I stole a glance at Kate, and she nodded back understanding. Hang back, listen in.

The wooden door loomed silently before me. I steeled my resolve and forced it open.

Inside the room smelled of death, large sprawling tables littered the ground, each holding glowing chemicals or clear vases filled with raw material. A wrapped man stood working with his back to me.
"I was wondering what flavor you liked best, it was tricky. Blueberries, peaches or plums. I'm not a heartless man you know. I settled on peaches. Easy to synthesis." The man hummed, working with his flasks, and measuring small amounts of liquid.

"I've yet to meet a test subject that didn't like peaches. I was rather surprised the batch worked on the summoner too. I made it as an... how do you say... exclusive wake up call to your old self, if you will. I assume then that you're not the only one with skeletons in their closet. Regardless, I'm not interested in that small fry of a summoner. I have a prize fish to poach."

"Why." I demanded of him. The only question I had.
"Because I want you out of the league for a few weeks while I prepare. Having you in the public would make more people notice your name, and my dear, I can't have that. More people asking "Where did Riven go?" would be such a pain for me." hummed singed, his licks smacking dryly under the mask.

"Pass me the Ammonium Hydroxide please... No? Fine, can't find decent lab help these days." He reached for a flask and poured its contents on whatever he was working on. I couldn't see it from this angle.

I stayed completely silent, waiting for him to finish. Or rather, I had nothing to say yet. He hadn't answered. After a moment, he continued, cued on my resolution.
"I'd rather they say "Oh she was just another new champ, joined up, flunked out after 5 fights and that's the end of that." Much easier to work with from my experience with acquiring champion test subjects."
I suppressed another shudder. This man... scared me. I felt he was meditating on murder. No, he WAS planning for it. I could only assume mine.

"What do you want from me?" I asked him. "Haven't you taken enough?"
"Taken enough from you...? You act as if this is a personal thing. You're completely mistaken about that! There's nothing personal between us, this is all for the sake of progress! In Zaun, truth is the only thing that matters, no matter how you find it. And I'm a very patriotic man." He laughed at that.
I felt hairs stand up on my neck. Why did my body react like this? I've faced horrors far worse than this man.

"Puppet. You took several full doses of P37 and survived. That's virtually impossible. If I could test some of my inventions using you, they would be perfect! If you can't survive them, nothing in this world could! I could die happy with that." The scientist looked up, as if he was silently saluting some unknown god.

My legs started to shake violently. I forced them still, and held my ground. Hands felt cold - numb, reaching up my arms and coursing through my veins. Adrenaline, seeping into the marrow of my bones even. "You make me sick. Someone will put a stop to your insanity - if I don't myself," I spat, "This plan of yours won't work. You are inept for even filling me with the details. I'll be the last mistake you ever make."

Singed simply looked at me with a look of pity. "I don't think you appreciate the details of your predicament. Let me put it this way: I can tell you whatever I want. You're an exile. Noxus doesn't want you, they won't protect you. You deserted remember - I think I know Noxian stance of desertion, what was it? Death? Demacia won't protect you either. The peaceniks won't - you saw to that one personally. Piltover doesn't even know your name or who you are. Same with Bramble City and their residents. You don't have a cent to your name to bribe bridgewater either. You have no one, and no value. You vanish - and the world won't bat an eye."

Insanity must have it's drawbacks. He's forgetting the most important player of them all. "The league would step up for me. You can't kill me the same way I can't kill you. All I have to do is call the-"

He laughed at that, a madman. "Call who? Say what? There's miles between you and I, puppet. If I said I was plotting to kill the high summoner himself, you couldn't do anything about it. Hahaha, Who would they believe - you? A fresh champion off the boat, who's already got a warning and then mauled a summoner? Over me? You don't have proof, or credibility. And you never will."

He returned shuffling to his work, keeping two balanced beakers perched in between his fingers. "The league just sees you as another random champion come from the wood cracks to feed their machine. They could care less what happens to you if you don't succeed. I on the other hand... well hah-hah," His eyes swept up to me with victory, and he took a slight bow.

"I'm famous. Untouchable. Don't you see? You have nothing." He spat the word out at me, and I felt it stab my heart as if it had substance in this world.
My body was rebelling against me, and I couldn't shut it down. I've always had absolute command over myself, but now everything was falling apart around me save for my mind.
"No one can protect you, no one can save you and no one cares to either. I have it all. Here in this room, I can say whatever I wish, and magic can't record it. This institute is my domain."

I felt a shudder come again, and suppressed it once more. Sweat pearled up on my brow. He was right. I realized it. He was right. And he wanted me to know it. The man walked up to me and I unconsciously took steps away until my back hit a wall. A finger of his reached out and lightly touched my collarbone. It felt like ice had formed where he touched. My breath choked in my throat.

"So when I say, 'You're mine' I do mean it, puppet. Everything. You. Are. Mine. You are the next subject I get to work with, the latest model. I own you. Please don't forget that."

I swatted his hand off my person, but he laughed instead waving his arms around his lab.
"I'm tired of the subjects Zaun provides me. All of them have little natural resistances - I have to pass weeks building it in them before I can begin testing. A lot die before they even help my work progress. It's quite disappointing." He tutted, walking over to his bench.
I couldn't speak, the words strangled by my held breath.
I felt helplessness creeping into my core - paralyzing me. This wasn't right, how could I not move?
Drugged.
A voice in the back of my mind whispered.

"Sivir brings me better test subjects, but I have to compete with mundo for the bodies, or warwick. And I've found an ingenious new source: New champions are perfect. They come naturally more resistant, and so easy to pluck. Just force them to fail a few matches, and snatch them when they recede into obscurity."

My skin crawled, hairs stood on end. This man... wasn't lying.
"When I find time to set everything up, I'll take you."

I felt the shudder come up again. But I gave him my deadliest glance instead to mask. If it affected him, he seemed completely unperturbed.
"Hahaha, now now puppet. Give me a better look then that. I know you're scared beyond your wits. That's R7 in work, one of my earlier products. Affects the primal part of your brain, there's no use fighting it off. I'm quite immune to it, but everyone else...Well. You see, I've done this for a long while now, and I have grown... good at it."

He moved again close to me. I recoiled backwards, but the wall kept me pinned like a hired hand. "So... eventually, I'll give your body the order to die. And when I finnish my work, and your body obeys my prodigy in the beaker over there," He blew out an imaginary candle. "It'll be beautiful, puppet. Beautiful. A complete end to an unfinished legacy. You can't imagine what Zaun would do for that. History is being written here, can you feel it?" I felt the beads of sweat drop from my brow, my neck and shoulders frozen over to the bone with adrenaline. I felt the history that had my end written as an afternote.

No.

"You won't find me easy prey Singed." I breathed out at him. I had to get out, leave. Run.
Every instinct in me demanded I run.
Every muscle in my body rebuttled I couldn't.
And every nerve in my spirit demanded I stare him down - to hope he couldn't see the fear in my eyes.

He looked deep into mine, a flicker of insanity in the background. It felt as if he saw everything despite my best attempts.

"How admirable. Even with R7 in full effect, you still have some bark."

"I'll gut you if you even try anything." I felt some strength rise back into my cheeks.
"Gut me? Like a fish?" Said Singed, amused. "Puppet, I am the face of death. Death is too stubborn to die from such a thing."
"You know nothing about death Singed, you just rain it down from afar. From some cliff, in perfect safety. I've battled it face to face on the battlefields, I've breathed it, felt it, become it. You've g-"
"Hahahaha! You, trying to compete against me for who's the most favored by death? And you've got the nerve to tell me I know nothing? Puppet, I'm the architect of it. I study it intimately." Singed replied, calmly. "And I've dealt death 'face to face' more personally than you'll ever know. I see all of it's faces and the shades it paints in. Let me remind you something, commander. You might have forgotten, just who people like us are."

He drew close again to me, my body shrank to the floor to escape. I felt my grip on my sword shudder. His hand reached down and clamped on my shoulders, freezing me in place. He looked deep in my eyes, searching for something. "Zaun or Noxian it makes no difference to killers like us. You know the best part about killing someone - it's the look on their face. Yes, you know it. You know the one."

Stop. Please. I screamed inside, but outside I kept my eyes glued onto his. I would not back down. I held my breath and ground my teeth shut.
I would not back down.

"It's not when they're threatened. Not when they're hurt. Not even when the see the knife. But it's when they feel the knife go in. When they know, know, that they're dead. And you are the last thing they will ever see."

I remembered the executions, I remembered every single one of them. But I'd never felt anything at their deaths. No pleasure, and neither remorse. "I'm not you." I whispered. I'm a soldier of Noxus, I was trained to be better. "I'm different then you are." I clung to my resolution desperately.

He just smiled back. "Oh you're different than I am? Well, puppet. Only thing that makes us different: You are going to die before I do."

His breath reeked of decay. I couldn't fight anymore, the realization dimly lit.
I broke eye contact first, looking down. I couldn't.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." My voice uttered to the floor, but the conviction had deserted it. I felt empty. He grabbed my chin and lifted my face up again, observing. As if saying "I'm not finished with you yet."

I let him.

He spoke. "That look. That beautiful look, when they know that this is how they die. I love that look on their faces. That's really why I became a chemist. That look right there. I wanted to see all kinds of it. All of it's hues, it's complexity." He grinned. And pointed to a skull on his bench.

"Let me tell you why I'm supremely happy you'll pull up a fight. See that? I find it good luck to keep a freshly bleached one by my work. Work's more productive. Now if it's even 3 days old, the luck just runs out of it -It's worthless after 3 days." He threw something at the skull, shattering in pieces and knocking it off his bench. The sound of broken glass and splashing liquid followed it, but the chemist couldn't care less. "At least for a normal skull. Now, people that make it a challenge for me..."
He grinned. The deep chilled grin of white insanity. "Well... they last a week on that bench. The best luck I can ask for. You can consider it a tribute from me, a nod of the head to people who really helped me make progress in every aspect. They are worthy human beings, and died in the name of progress and Zaun."

"You're insane." I spat to his face, finding the inner strength I needed to shoved him off shakily. I wanted to stab him, but my body refused my command exhausted from simply pushing him off. And he knew it too, judging from his wide smile.
"Insanity and drugs are some things I'd recommend, they've always worked for me." He stood back up, wiping the spit from his face, and observed the time. "I'll let you sample it in the future. Now now, turn around and go puppet. I've given you enough heads up to make this interesting. I'm a busy man."

He reached down a hand to help me up, the arrogant bastard. I slapped it out of the way and stood slowly, grabbing my sword. It felt beyond it's weight in years, I almost failed to carry it away.

I turned and left. I didn't need to be told twice. My feet moved on their own, and in my panic I nearly stumbled. Half of me wanting to keep a hold of my dignity - to walk out, and the other half wanting to put as much distance between him and I as fast as I could.

He laughed behind, hard, brittle and biting.

"Go back to your little friend outside, I've got work to do and taking you in isn't on my schedule for today. A word of advice: I'd eat a few good meals if I were you. They will soon be your last after all."

I slammed the door shut on my way out and panic sprinted to the other side of the hallway, no longer caring about maintaining any sense of appearance. Kate was waiting for me, and already going through the steps. She grabbed my hand, "He's not getting you. Shhh shh. It's all right." She said, her voice soothing, with the right pitch. "You've got us. He's got no idea just what he got himself into, that bastard. It's all right. Calm down. You're safe." I was breathing hard, almost as if I couldn't get the air in my lungs correctly. She continued talking, but I didn't hear her. All I could feel were her hands wrapping around my head, and my arms limply to my side, desperately clutching the weight of my broken sword despite the shaking.

Death was lurking behind me, horrible, alone and far away from any dignified exit I could have ever imagined. Surely I wasn't allowed to die like this, as some test thing for a madman. I couldn't be.
I was destined to die at the hands of a stronger opponent. A good end. A worthy end.

To die in a room, suffocating like my platoon had.

I've never genuinely feared anything in my life.
But now I knew.
There was a monster living in the hallway 7 doors from mine.