Vernon Visits Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. He belongs to J K Rowling. The character Nigel belongs to Warner Brothers Studios.

A/N In this chapter our favorite blonde bad wizard will help Vernon travel to Hogwarts. Vernon has a demand for Professor Dumbledore.

~oOoOo~

The visit of the Muggle Prime Minister made Umbridge and the Inquisitorial Squad more quiet. It remained that way for a few weeks.

Students were seen entering and leaving the room of Requirement. When the Inquisitorial Squad tried to charge the Room of Requirement they could not enter.

Filch watched the students come in and out and could do nothing.

Umbridge had the Inquisitorial Squad make a list of the students coming and going.

Pansy brought it in.

"Nigel, Luna Lovegood, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger. Ginny Weasley, Lavender Brown, Cho Chang, Fred and George Weasley, Humm, these seem like Potter's Family."

"Why don't you remove Ron and Hermione as prefects?" asked Pansy.

"That would alert the group we are on to them and they would become more elusive," said Umbridge. "Granger could Owl that Muggle Prime Minister and he'd be back. We don't want to touch Granger at all. What I need is someone we can hold something over. The best threat is if a loved one gets hurt. Doesn't Professor Snape teach you these things?"

"Professor Snape is more concerned with magic than anything else," said Pansy. "Professor Snape is a wizard, not a politician. Forget reading his mind he's much too powerful an Occlumens."

"Perhaps his own mouth could be opened with his own Veretiserum. He had some questionable involvements back when James and Lily Potter were killed. Some say he slipped the information to You-Know-Who. After he tells us all about it he's ours."

"You would sell your own Head of House?" said Umbridge.

"I side with the pure-bloods and with Power," said Pansy. "Snape's just a Half-blood. He father was a Muggle.

"I will consider this," said Umbridge. "I don't think Snape knows about the illegal student activities. He did favor me at first and then became distant. His mind is unreadable. I get either nothing, misinformation or useless information."

"I think Potter is the leader of what ever is going on," said Pansy. "He has been a determined rule breaker from the beginning and his friends are becoming like him. I don't think Minister Fudge would care if the Mudblood Granger were expelled."

"Fudge would probably prefer it," said Umbridge. "To use a Muggle cliché, she rocks the boat."

Pansy's face looked murderous.

"Pansy, can I let you it on a little secret?" asked Umbridge. "I want to replace Minister Fudge after he is forced to resign and be Minister of Magic. He is becoming more and more paranoid. That is what I want. I want him hated. I want him to have to resign. I'll expose him as incompetent fool, which he is. Like most Hufflepuffs, he is stupid. He was very sloppy handling the death of the Diggory boy."

Pansy looked astonished and asked, "What should he have done differently with Diggory."

"He should not have had the Diggory boy's head kicked in after he was dead," said Umbridge. "I don't like Muggles but sometimes they can do things we can't. Amos Diggory took the body of Cedric Diggory to a Muggle medical examiner and although he could not find the cause of Death the medical examiner did find that Cedric's head was kicked in after he died to make it look like and accident. As a result Cedric's younger brother, Joseph, was sent to Durmstrang. Amos still works at the Ministry but he has distanced himself from Minister Fudge."

"Viktor Krum though he is nineteen or twenty is a fully qualified and talented wizard. When Igor Karkaroff died Viktor was installed as Headmaster of Durmstrang. He is probably the youngest Headmaster of any school. He does well but his ideas are radical, rather like Dumbledore and Potter. He's no friend of mine or of yours!"

"Pansy, there is no right or wrong. There is only power!" said Umbridge. "You, Pansy, are more like me than you know. You to crave power. When I am Minister of Magic you could be a powerful and feared person in the Ministry of Magic. You'd have money and a Ministry car of your own. I'm sure we can make Draco an Auror. He's not as smart as you but he is loyal."

"What if we got rid or Amelia Bones and I became head of the DMLE?" asked Pansy. "I would be the kind of DMLE head you want."

"You are pure Slytherin," said Umbridge. "Find me someone I can break."

~oOoOo~

Vernon was very angry because of Dudley's suffering. He wanted to go to Hogwarts and confront Professor Dumbledore. He managed to find Lucius Malfoy. He knew if he hung around St. Mungo's Lucius would finally come out. Part of Lucius' PR was frequent contributions to St. Mungo's.

After about a week, he saw Lucius come out of St. Mungo's. He drove over to him, rolled down the window and said, "Lucius it is time for a wizard and a Muggle to work together for the sake of our sons," said Vernon. "Dudley was attacked by Dementoids last Summer. He's had bad dreams until recently. If Dudley were one of you he'd be Draco's friend. He'd protect Draco."

"What do you wish of me?" Dursley asked Lucius.

"I want to confront Albus Dumbledore and tell the old Crackpot, Albus Dumbledore to get Harry out of our lives while Dudley is still alive."

"You are making a strange request of me, Vernon!" answered Lucius. "You drive to Dufftown in the Scottish Highlands. Look for what appears to be a ruined Castle. That is Hogwarts."

"Ride with me and make it appear," said Vernon. "There is no need for you to come in. Once I'm there you can do one of your favorite tricks and vanish with a pop. I can find my way out. Harry is on the run from your law! The Azkaban guards came after him. They hurt Dudley. I don't want them in my house."

"This could be dangerous, very dangerous," said Lucius.

"You don't want Harry to pull some hocus pocus and make it look like Draco did it?" asked Vernon.

That idea scared Lucius. Harry was a powerful wizard. Lucius knew it.

"Ask them to expel Harry," said Lucius. "Tell them you don't care what they do with him. There is a woman from the Ministry there. She likes Draco and hates Harry. Deal?"

"Deal!" said Vernon.

"Meet me by Kings Cross Station at nine A.M. Have your tank full of gas. Tell NO ONE what you are doing. Dudley must not know you were at Hogwarts. Petunia must not know. We won't get there until five P.M. Do not drive your car onto the grounds. If you do it your car will get a mind of its own and go off into the Forbidden Forest. Park outside the grounds and walk up. After we get there you're on your own. Good luck. See you Saturday."

~oOoOo~

The next Saturday Vernon drove to Kings Cross and Lucius was waiting. He got into the car and told Vernon to head for Scotland.

After several hours on the Motorway they reached the Scottish Highlands. They continued and Lucius said, "Leave the Motorway here!"

They turned off onto a country road. After a few more hours they reached Dufftown.

"We're close here," said Lucius. "Go to the south end of town. There, this road. Ministry cars use it when they go to Hogwarts."

Vernon took the road.

"Follow my directions and ignore what you see or feel."

"I have a meeting at work I forgot," said Vernon.

"There is no meeting," said Lucius. "You just felt a Charm used to keep Muggles from doing what you are doing. It makes you think there is some meeting or appointment so you go away. Clever?"

"That Castle sure is a wreck. Doesn't Dumbledore forbid the students to go there? They could break their necks. There's a big danger sign out there!" said Vernon.

"That wreck is Hogwarts. It is not really a wreck. It is another trick. You will see it for what it is when we get closer. You will need a pull over robe and a fake wand. Stop here! Put the robe on over your cloths," said Lucius.

He tapped his wand on Vernon's shoulder and chanted the password for a Muggle, "Hogwarts, teach this Muggle something new!"

There it was, a beautiful Castle surrounded by a wrought iron fence.

"This is where I leave you Vernon. If you ever need to come again you will not need my help. You now know the way. You know the password. Good luck."

Lucius Vanished with a crack. Vernon stepped out of his car and locked it. He had taken the gun Hagrid bent some five years ago and had it repaird. It was wrapped up. He picked it up from the floor in front of the backseat and took it with him. He stashed the fake wand in a robe pocket.

~oOoOo~

Vernon went through the Boar Gate and started up the path to Hogwarts. "Who are you strange wizard?" asked a blond young man. There was a badge with an I on it pinned to his chest. "I am Draco Malfoy, leader of the Inquisitorial Squad."

"I have business with Albus Dumbledore," said Vernon.

Draco grabbed the pull over robe and jerked it off.

"What are you playing at Muggle?" sneered Draco. "You fought my father by St. Mongo's."

"Yes, Draco. It was a fair fight. Your father and I are on good terms now", said Vernon.

"What?" sneered Draco.

"I want Harry out of my house and I want him expelled," said Vernon.

A murderous grin spread over Draco's face.

"I want Potter out myself," said Draco. "There's a Mudblood girl named Hermione Granger. I would be very happy if she were expelled too. If you're really in the mood there are three red-haired brothers named Weasley. I understand they flew up to Harry's window and rescued him from your punishment. Get them kicked out two."

"Harry is on the run from your law. Dementoids come after him and hurt my son Dudley."

"Dudley, he'd be a Mudblood too. What house is he in? Must be Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. That's where the Mudbloods go."

"Dudley is normal," said Vernon. "He attends Smeltings. My school!"

"Harry is trying to bewitch him and make him a wizard and I won't stand for it, no sir, my Dudley is normal."

"Is your wife Lily Potter's sister?" asked Draco. "If she is, it is likely Dudley is a Mudblood."

"Yes, but he is normal. No magic in him, no sir!" bragged Vernon. "I'll do anything to keep my Dudley normal. I'll kill Harry if I have to. I'm tired of that boy and his hocus pocus."

"I should take you to Professor Umbridge," said Draco. "She is running the school. She'd be happy to expel Harry and all his friends. They do nothing but cause trouble. They make my life miserable."

They met a pug faced girl with one of the I badges.

"This is my girl friend Pansy Parkinson. Pansy, meet a Muggle who thinks like a pure-blood. Harry Potter's uncle, Vernon Dursley."

Pansy was not too impressed but she went with them.

"Draco, we should take him to see Professor Umbridge," said Pansy. "She is the one Minister Fudge has running the school."

~oOoOo~

Vernon was escorted through the castle to the defense against the Dark arts classroom. Alohamora chanted Draco and the door unlocked. Vernon was lead across the Classroom and up the stairs. They knocked on Umbridge's door.

"Professor Umbridge we have a visitor. He wants Harry Potter expelled."

Professor Umbridge opened the door.

"Draco, how could you bring a Muggle animal onto these grounds?" spat Umbridge. "Call Granger and have her lead him off the grounds at once."

"Before I'm led off, I'd like you to expel Harry Potter," said Vernon. "I also want him out of my house. Then Doctor Granger's daughter can lead me out to my car. If you want to expel her too, I'll drive her home.

"Doctor Granger's daughter?" asked Umbridge.

"He's my dentist," said Vernon. "I could drive her home after she is expelled."

"Expulsions by law must be done with the mutual consent of the Minister of Magic and the Headmaster. Under present circumstances it would be me and the Minister of Magic."

"I wouldn't mind if you threw the Weasley boys out too. They flew up to Harry's room and rescued him from my punishment."

"They and their father came up through my fireplace. They damaged my home. Fred and George dropped bewitched candies on the floor and Dudley's tongue got four feet long. I do believe you should expel them for doing dangerous magic outside of school," said Vernon.

"Never mind Granger yet," giggled Umbridge, "you think like a pure-blood wizard. Sort of in reverse but like a pure-blood."

"You want Potter, Granger and the Weasley brothers expelled, am I right?" asked Umbridge.

"I also want to talk to Crackpot Dumbledore. He had no business dumping a wizard on my doorstep."

"Sit down Vernon, in this situation, I do believe a witch and a Muggle can do business."

"One more thing, no Dementoids in Little Whinging!"

"I think he means Dementors," said Draco.

"Minister Fudge said he believes those creatures were Boggarts," said Umbridge. "Potter did not have to use a Patronus to get rid of them. He just wanted to show off to your son."

"Dudley, was out of his head. He was vomiting," said Vernon. "Finally after I sent Harry to his room, Dudley's head cleared enough that he asked me to help him to his room. Then came terrible nightmares."

~oOoOo~

Umbridge took notes on everything Vernon said. Then she stepped over to the fireplace and called Cornelius Fudge over the Floo. He appeared in a burst of green flames.

"Vernon, what are you doing at Hogwarts? How did you even find the grounds?" asked Cornelius Fudge.

"I want Harry Potter expelled from Hogwarts and out of my home. He is bewitching Dudley," said Vernon.

"All of these students are to be expelled," said Umbridge, showing Fudge her notes.

"I'll take these to my office but we need evidence from wizards to expel," said Fudge. "We could expel them, yes, except Granger, but her father and the ICW would come after us if we expel any of them. When you are done with Vernon, have Granger escort Mr. Dursley back to his car."

Fudge took his leave.

~oOoOo~

Veron insisted on seeing Professor Dumbledore before he left. Herimone was called and ordered to first take Vernon to Professor Dumbledore, then to his car.

She led him to the gargoyles and spoke the password. They rode up the spiral staircase. Vernon was quite impressed by the staircase. It was like an escalator but there was no electricity.

"Enter!" called Professor Dumbledore's voice.

They stepped into the office. Dumbledore had known they were coming.

"Sit down!" said Dumbledore. "Hermione, that wrapped up object is a Muggle gun. Please set it aside."

Hermione moved the wrapped up gun to the corner of the Office.

"Dobby come!" said Dumbledore.

CRACK!

"What is that?" asked Vernon.

"Dobby the House Elf at your service," said the little creature.

"Dobby that wrapped up object is a Muggle gun. Put it into Vernon Dursley's car," said Professor Dumbledore.

The elf picked up the wrapped gun and vanished with a crack.

"That gun was very primitive, Vernon," said Professor Dumbledore. "You have come here with two demands. One is that Harry Potter be expelled. The other is that he be taken out of your home. The answer to the first request is no. I will not allow Harry Potter to be expelled. The answer to the second request is also no because, if I grant it you, Petunia and Dudley will die. Death Eaters have been unable to touch you because Harry is there for what, a month or so a year. You are marked for death but the Death Eaters cannot find your home. A Charm hides it from anyone or anything that would harm Harry. Dementors cannot enter your home. The night your son and Harry were attacked it was Dementors, not just Boggarts. After Harry brought Dudley into the house four more Dementors came. They could not get into the house. They exerted a weak influence over you and Harry. You quarreled bitterly. Had you thrown Harry out they would have entered your home and you would be no more."

"Couldn't Harry have done his spell again?" asked Vernon.

"That would depend on how far he was when they came. With his wand he could always protect himself. Someone in the Ministry tried to murder him. Had they succeeded the Aurors would have had many questions for all off you. Dudley had to be eliminated with Harry. Then the Dementors would have dispatched you and Petunia."

"I can understand you wanting to protect Harry. Why should you care about Dudley and Petunia?" asked Vernon.

"There is a disturbing lack of value for human life, not only among Muggles but also wizards. I value all human life," said Professor Dumbledore.

"My Dudley is being bewitched!" complained Vernon.

"You must mean the nightmares. Healer Pye put a stop to them. Auror Tonks brought Dudley home. She made herself look like a Muggle police officer so she could tell you not to ask questions. Hermione will take you to your car. You will find your gun is there. I do hope if you ever come here again that you leave the gun home. Spend the night in Dufftown. Tomorrow take your time and drive home. Call Petunia tonight and tell her you will be home tomorrow. Don't tell her you were here."

"Miss Granger, escort Mr. Dursley back to his car."

~oOoOo~

Hermione lead Vernon to his car.

As they walked they talked.

"I knew you were here," said Vernon. "I've seen you at the office when your Dad fixed my teeth and I've seen you at King's Cross. I put two and two together. You different than the others. I'd like to make a swap with your dad this Summer. You for Harry!"

"I only have a little time to be with my parents," said Hermione. "We need to make the most of it."

"I don't think you would bewitch Dudley," said Vernon.

"Do you still think Harry is bewitching Dudley? Is that why you came here?"

"Yes it is!" said Vernon. "I will protect my son with my life, yes sir!"

"If I tell you about the trace, you will realize you don't have anything to worry about," said Hermione. "The trace is a spell on all Underage wizards and witches. Any time magic happens close to us the Ministry of Magic knows. We are only allowed to do magic at school. If Harry were doing magic the Ministry would send him letters. If it even happens near him letter would be sent. The trace can only tell if the magic is done near you. It cannot tell who does it. Even if someone else is doing it Harry's trace would register if he ware anywhere near it."

"Professor Dumbledore should have explained that to you. Now that I have, please stop being angry with Harry. He worries about your Dudley and some of the things he and his friends are doing. Harry gave up trying to explain it to you."

"What is my boy doing?" asked Vernon.

"Last summer before the Dementors came he and his friends were beating up ten-year olds. I hope Dudley has stopped that. You might want to have a talk with him before he is arrested." said Hermione.

"You think I should go to Smeltings and speak with my son?" asked Vernon.

"You could save yourself a lot of heartache that way," said Hermione.

They walked outside the Boar Gate.

"Is that your car Vernon?" asked Hermione. "Your wrapped up gun is inside."

"That's it," said Vernon.

"You came all the way from Surrey. Please follow Professor Dumbledore's advice. Stay in a room in Dufftown tonight and rest. Drive home tomorrow. Don't tell any other Muggles how to get here. Call your wife so she doesn't worry."

Vernon smiled and drove off. Even if Hermione was one of Harry's people she was alright.

~oOoOo~

Vernon did take Professor Dumbledore's and Hermione's advice. He got a room in Dufftown and called Petunia on his cell phone. He told her he'd broken down and would be back the next day.

The next day Vernon got up, checked out, drove down the country road to the motorway and came home. His cell phone battery ran down that Sunday night and he had charged it Friday. The charge normally held for a week. Vernon was puzzled. He recharged the phone and it held the charge.

The next week Vernon took a day off and went to Smeltings to sort out Dudley. Dudley was called and they spoke in an empty office.

"I quit doing that stupid stuff after the Dementors came," said Dudley. "Piers quit too."

"Dad why do you hate Harry, the real reason?" asked Dudley.

"I never liked freaks although I talked to Harry's friend Hermione the other day. He ought to marry her. She's a good freak. Both her parents are normal like us but she came out a freak. She's Dr. Granger's daughter. I've seen her come out of that barrier more than once. She and that Weasley kid are usually with Harry when he's with his own kind," said Vernon.

"But Dad, why do you hate Harry? I know he has a bit of a temper, but do we hate him for that?."

"Because a freak killed my brother, John, with magic," said Vernon."John had a whole bunch of freak friends. He even had two funerals. One was for freaks and the other for normal people. I've never understood why that happened son. John was a man who really helped me when I was upset. Not just me, a lot of people, some of them freaks."

"How did you get to Harry's school?" asked Dudley. "You had to be there to talk to Hermione."

"Dudley, that is something you must never tell your Mum. I can't tell you how I got there. Don't ever try to go there yourself. It's very, very dangerous!" said Vernon.

~oOoOo~

Two Aurors, one a Half-blood and the other a pure-blood came to Professor McGonagall.

"There was a turned on cell phone on the grounds Saturday. Muggle tracking devices detected it. The Muggles are trying to find the school. Was there a Muggle here?" asked the Half-blood Auror.

"I know of no Muggle here other than the Muggle Prime Minister who has the right to come here. There could be a student that somehow turned on a cell phone," said Professor McGonagall.

"Confiscate all the cell phones and send them home. If any are on, turn them off. Do you know how?" said the Half-blood Auror.

"My sister is a squib who teaches at Smeltings. She taught me. Right now Professor Umbridge is in charge of the school. You should check with her."

The Aurors went to Umbridge's office.

"Professor Umbridge, we need to know if there was a Muggle here Saturday," asked the pure-blood Auror.

"There was but I had him escorted off the grounds. Why, he didn't hurt anyone did he?"

"We believe he came onto the grounds with a cell phone that was turned on."

"What is a cell phone? I don't touch Muggle devices. That would be treason to my nature," said Umbridge.

"Do you know what a telephone is?"

"A fellyphone is a Muggle device. I wouldn't touch it," said Umbridge.

"It's called a telephone: tele-, far, phone, something to speak and to and listen to," said the Half-blood Auror.

"It's a Muggle thing. I just don't waste time with it!" giggled Umbridge.

"Let us talk to Professor Dumbledore. He understands Muggle things. You won't have to worry about it!" said the pure-blood Auror.

"We are not on good terms but Professor McGonagall will take you to him," said Umbridge.

The Aurors walked away.

"Now I know what all the fuss is about!" said the Half-blood Auror. "Being a Half-blood, I understand both worlds and it has been useful in my job. She is so bigoted she would let our existence become known rather than learn about a few Muggle devices. To use a Muggle cliché, Hogwarts is going to hell in a handbasket!"

Professor McGonagall took them to Professor Dumbledore's office. The pure-blood Auror was fascinated.

"Haven't you ever been to Professor Dumbledore's office?" asked the Half-blood.

"I went to Durmstrang. My parents didn't want me mingling with Half-bloods. I met my wife there. They think she's a pure-blood. She's a Half-blood. I'm independent of them and I'm not teaching that bigotry to my children."

The Half-blood reached out and shook his pure-blood partner's hand.

~oOoOo~

Inside Professor Dumbledore's office the Aurors repeated their question.

"The Muggle Vernon Dursley was here," said Professor Dumbledore. "He asked me to expel five students one of them being his nephew, Harry Potter. He had a wrapped up Muggle gun. I had the House Elf Dobby take it to his car. I refused his request as it was based on his own bigotry and ignorance."

"A cell phone was detected on the grounds. Muggles are trying to find Hogwarts. The Obliviators are busy," said the Half-blood Auror.

"We talked to three people. You're are the first to tell us anything."

"Minerva does not know. Umbridge, well, you met the so-called High Inquisitor. I remember when she was in school. If she could get a student that was not a pure-blood somewhere alone she'd curse them into next week. She always made sure no one could see. I followed her until I caught her. I had Minerva cane her. That is a very harsh punishment and I don't like to use it. However in Miss Umbridge's case I felt I had to use it," said Professor Dumbledore

"It was a mistake not to expel her. Now I'm paying for it. The young woman who escorted Vernon to his car was Hermione Granger. She is a prefect at Gryffindor. She could verify that Vernon did indeed leave."

The Aurors stopped by Gryffindor Tower. Hermione told them of Vernon and verified he'd left.

~oOoOo~

Pansy came to Umbridge's office. "I think I've found the person you are looking for. This girl is Cho Chang's friend, not really a friend of Potter's but her Mum works at the Ministry. If she starts to worry about Mum we'll have our way to Potter and his little group."

~oOoOo~