Darkwarrior17: Having gotten over my weird depression I had for the last chapter, I'm writing again. Of course you won't be reading this unless I have 50 reviews.
Members of the Audience: Why are you telling us this now?
Darkwarrior17: … ON WITH THE SHOW! HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! 4-10-06.
Reviews:
Black Thief Dragon: I've got something else planned for Crazy, although Alaska could be cool.
Vicviper-pilot-s213: Actually, I've been trying to figure out a way for them to go to Iraq. Expect it soon.
Darkwarrior17: I won't be updating for a while because I've started a new story… Yeah, I'm planning on going every other chapter.
Disclaimer: Nintendo owns my thoughts…
One Smashing Vacation
XI
Uh-oh…
"All right, since the last three places we've gone have been a total bust," Master Hand said at the ticket booth in the airport, "I vote that we all go somewhere familiar and welcoming."
"I refuse to vote with you until you tell me where you're from." Link said.
"All right, that's gone beyond annoying." Master Hand said.
"Oh? Then why don't you tell me?"
"Six first class tickets to Egypt, please." Zelda said, holding up one of the credit cards.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Master Hand said.
"I've always been interested in Egypt. Besides, it's not like you guys were coming up with anything."
"Yes, but-"
"And I'll bet Mewtwo agrees with me."
"Keep me out of this." Mewtwo said, floating away.
"Yes, but-"
"And it's not as though it's Iraq or anything, you know?"
"If you would be so kind as to let me finish, I would tell you that I DON'T HAVE MY SHOTS!"
"… Um, Master Hand, that's not exactly something you shout in a crowded airport." Roy said.
"Oh, shut up. It's not like they speak English."
"Um, I think those girls over there are staring at us." Zelda pointed to a group of girls standing not far away from them.
"No they aren't. There staring at you guys." Master Hand pointed to Link, Marth and Roy.
"Uh oh…"
"OH MY GOD! IT'S MARTH AND ROY!"
"AND LINK! GRAB HIS HAT!"
"Run…now…FAST!" Link shouted, running away as fast as he could. He was soon followed by everyone else except Mewtwo, who…where is Mewtwo?
At the airport's Starbucks…
Mewtwo was floating in line at Starbucks. There was mile line ahead of him. He wanted to move the line so he could get coffee, but he needed coffee to mind control people. Mewtwo decided that as soon as he got his coffee, he would kill the guy who invented paradoxes.
Somewhere in the Pacific…
"You ready to light the fires?" Samus asked.
"Honestly? No." Fox said.
"What? You said you were done!"
"Yeah, Falcon kind of blew up an engine because he thought it called him an idiot."
"We're fining you for that." Falco said.
"What? Why?"
"Because you brought him along."
"Okay, fine. In hindsight, that was dumb. But it's not like you haven't made stupider decisions."
"Well, I can't speak for Falco, but-"
"Shut up and get back to work."
Back at Tokyo…
(The following rabid fangirl versus bishounen confrontation may have some similarities to Money Management for SSBM and Lord of the Rings: SSBM Style! It is, however, my own, not theirs, and anyone who sues me needs to get a life. Thank you.)
Security at an airport in Japan was the worst possible job. You sat. And sat. And continued sitting for some time. And by your third day on the job, you are convinced that anything interesting happening is just your brain laughing at you. This is probably how fangirls managed to tear down an ATM with out them noticing.
"MARTH! COME BACK! I'LL MAKE YOU RICH!" One of the fangirls shouted, holding up about a million yen.
"Not on my life!" Marth said, running with the most terrified look on his face.
Master Hand suddenly stopped and turned to Zelda. "Wait, why are we running?"
"One of them is lesbian!" Zelda said, and kept running.
"… How on earth do you know that?"
"ME WANT ZELDA!" A gargantuan fangirl suddenly stepped on Master Hand. He was then run over by the rest of the fangirls.
"Um, ow?" Master Hand said.
Link quickly turned into a men's room. This wouldn't stop fangirls, but it seemed like a good place to hide.
"Are they gone?" Someone whispered from behind them. Link turned around. Lloyd and Zelos (from Tales of Symphonia, look it up at http/en. were hiding in the bathroom stalls.
"Um…yeah." Link said, grappling up into a ventilation shaft.
"Oh, good." Lloyd said, stepping out of the bathroom. Most of the rabid fangirls were running by the bathroom at the time, and they all turned and shouted: "OH MY GOD! IT'S LLOYD AND ZELOS!"
They were immediately swept up by the fangirls. Unfortunately, this was not the end of Link's fangirl problems, for some of them happened to notice Link climbing into the ventilation shaft.
"THERE'S LINK! GET HIM!"
The fangirls who weren't helping in carrying Lloyd and Zelos off quickly turned around and started trying to jump into the vent.
At the airport's Starbucks…
Mewtwo stood in line. A bit of music played somewhere in the store, and this irritated him. Someone sneezed, and this irritated him. Then somebody tripped on his own feet. He enjoyed this for a moment until someone helped the guy up. This irritated him.
Somewhere in the midwest of the United States…
The remaining Smashers were slowly making their way down some God-forsaken highway. A car hadn't passed them in eons, and they were starting to get restless.
"YOSHI! PUT THAT DOWN! PUT IT DOWN! There… DON'T PICK THAT UP! Rrrrrr…" Dr. Mario was on the verge of a mental break down.
"Momma mia!" Mario said as Pikachu and Jigglypuff broke out in a fight.
"What's going on back there?" Game and Watch beeped into the walkie talkie. The only reply was shouts of "No, NO!" and Peach screaming.
Game and Watch looked back for a second before saying, "…Eh, whatcha gonna do."
Okay, restless isn't the word.
Back to Tokyo…
Marth had found a small alcove to hide in. It was between a potted plant and a phone booth. Unfortunately, there happened to be a girl in the phone booth and when she saw him…
"OH MY GOD! IT'S MARTH!"
Marth tried to get away, but the fangirl pushed the phone booth down on top of his cape, leaving him pinned.
Minutes later he was picked up by other fangirls, and taken to their lair.
The Fangirl's secret hideout…
Marth, Zelos, and Lloyd were all tied up. About a dozen or so fangirls were combing their hair, trying to get them to eat some sort of food, or just staring at them.
"How can you be enjoying this?" Marth turned to Zelos who was singing.
"Hunnies, hunnies, hunnies! Don't worry, there's enough of me for all!"
Lloyd and Marth shuddered.
Somewhere in the airport…
"I think… we lost… them." Roy gasped to Zelda as he slowed down to a halt.
"Yeah, along with pretty much everybody else."
"We know where Master Hand is, don't we?"
"Yeah, splattered against the floor."
"Hey everybody, up here!"
"Okay, fine, we can go get him, and then get eaten alive by the fangirls!"
"I said, UP HERE!"
"What?" Zelda looked up. Link was in the vent directly above them. "Whoa!"
"Yeah, they almost got me in the bathroom. Where's Marth? Better yet, where's the plane? We really need to get out of here."
"Um, about that…"
"Lost everyone? No biggie. Where's Mewtwo?"
Arizona's desert…
Night had passed for the people in the trailer. They had all slept well and were waking up. When Peach woke up she grabbed the walkie-talkie and shouted into it: "GAME AND WATCH! PULL OVER AT THE NEXT REST STOP! I need COFFEE!"
"Ksshh…"
"Game and Watch?"
"Kshh…"
"GAME AND WATCH!"
"Ksshh…"
Peach looked up front. There was no one driving. A cliff was coming closer by the second.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
Five hours earlier…
"Hey, I'm going to pull over to get something to eat and drink. Anybody want anything?" Game and Watch said.
"Pika pikachu!"
Game and Watch pulled over at a rest stop. Pikachu, who appeared to be the only person not asleep, jumped out of the trailer and followed Game and Watch in.
As they bought their snacks, the racer sped off with out them.
Game and Watch blinked.
Pikachu blinked.
"Management?" Game and Watch asked.
Back to the present…
-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
At this point Mario started throwing people out the window (starting with Peach) shouting, "BAIL OUT! BAIL OUT!"
Unfortunately, when they tried to get Donkey Kong out he got stuck. Luckily, it was only him, Mario, and Luigi in the trailer, so deaths would be minimal.
"'Deathas would bea minimal'? Screwsa that!" Luigi shouted, and started to burn a hole around D.K. Mario quickly helped.
It was several seconds before the trailer went off the cliff, but they still made it.
The racer went off the cliff and exploded at the bottom. The remaining Smashers looked down in a sad silence, until Mario said, "I'a wonder ifa Captain Falcon hasa insurance for thatsa."
The Line for Starbucks…
"C'mon Mewtwo. We need your help." Link tapped Mewtwo on the shoulder. He was in the middle of a line of about a hundred people.
"Can't. Need coffee."
"Can't you just move them?"
"Can't. Neeeeed coffee."
"Okay… What kind of coffee do you want?"
"COFFEE!"
"Okay, okay." Link ran up to the front of the line, pointed his sword in the face of the kid running the counter, and said: "Give me a large cup of coffee now!"
"We don't serve coffee here."
"… What?"
"We don't serve coffee."
"This is a coffee bar, right?"
"Yeah."
"THEN GIVE ME COFFEE!"
Five seconds later…
"Those kids know whose boss." Link said as Mewtwo slurped his coffee.
"What did you need me for?"
"Oh, yeah. We need help finding Marth."
"… Fangirls, right? Geez, this is just obvious."
"Well then, enlighten us, oh Knower of All!" Zelda said, dragging Master Hand along with them.
"They are at…"
Five minutes later…
"A Barnes and Noble?" Zelda, Link, Roy, and Master Hand (now fully recovered) said in unison.
"Ah, but not just any Barnes and Noble." Mewtwo said, obviously enjoying this. "This Barnes and Noble has the largest collection of manga books anywhere."
"And that's where the fangirls are." Link asked.
"Yes."
"And that's where Marth is."
"Yes."
"… You didn't have enough coffee, did you?"
"I'm completely serious!"
"Oh, come on! How on earth would a bunch of Rabid Fangirls hide out in a crowded Barnes and Noble without having anyone notice?" Link said.
Suddenly a voice drifted out of the Barnes and Noble.
"Hey, you girls, get out of here. Go on, get. Hey, what are you doing? Stop that! OH MY GOD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHH-"crunch!
"I told you! I told you! I always tell them! They never listen! I-"
"Oh, shut up!" Master Hand shouted. "Okay, what we need is a plan."
"We don't need a plan. We need a smoke bomb, a gas mask, and a helicopter." Roy said.
"… Isn't that a Calvin and Hobbes?" Zelda asked.
"Huh?"
"Better yet, isn't that a plan?"
"Wha?"
"I have Marth. Hurry up before they realize it." Mewtwo popped back from the store, floating Marth behind him. Marth was still bound, but he looked fairly happy.
"Oh. Okay." Master Hand said.
"OH MY GOD! MARTH DISAPPEARED!"
"Go. Now!"
The as Fangirls stampeded out of the store they saw the group running away with their beloved Marth. They quickly followed, going at a speed that shouldn't be humanly possible.
"What… gate… are we?" Master Hand asked.
"Gate… 16B!" Zelda replied, teleporting ahead a little.
"That's right there!" Master Hand turned and ran up the gangway to the plane, and was quickly followed by everyone else. The fangirls were about to follow, until someone stepped off the plane and asked, "Has anyone seen Lloyd?"
The fangirls stopped in their tracks. They stared up at the figure before them, and shouted in perfect unison, "OH MY GOD! IT'S KRATOS!"
Darkwarrior17: Okay, I decided that I wouldn't go for fifty reviews. If anyone is confused about the characters from Tales of Symphonia (Lloyd, Zelos, and Kratos) don't worry. I'm kind of confused about them myself. If you have any questions about them, I will send them to my Sister/Editor. And now, a word from our Editor/Sister!
Editor-in-Chief/Darkwarrior's sister/Genny62890: HELLO ALL. I am the resident Tales of Symphonia geek at my house (every house has one, by the way; they just haven't been discovered yet) and about 99 of the rabid fangirl jokes are based off of me, I'm sure. Especially the Zelos and Kratos parts. Mmmmm, Kratos…((drools))…Moving on, (yes I have a point; gimme a minute to think of what it is………okay, got it) if you have any questions, like my brother said, feel free to write them in your reviews, or, you can email me from my profile (I'm Genny62890) and I'll be happy to answer anything! It's an awesome game, yo. Go buy it. Signing off, the wonderful/amazing/beautiful/goddess-like editor! ((flies away))
Darkwarrior17: … I'm never doing that again. And she's not 99 of the inspiration. That would be other stories, which I've already stated in this chapter. ((blows raspberry)) Anyway, happy Memorial Day everyone. May 31st, 2006.