Chapter 11

Perry and JD had barely made eye contact, with the exception of the incident in Coffeebucks. They hadn't even kept up the appearance of mentor and protégé. Perry was sure that people had noticed, wondering if any were smart enough to piece it together. It wasn't hard to notice the absence of JD near him, especially for a period of nearly a week. Perry had felt the emptiness more than he fathomed possible.

He knew he had to apologize to his former lover, without trying to trick him into it. The stress was eating away at his soul. What he had done kept replaying in his mind like a bad movie. He hated the fact that JD basically crossed the thin line between love and hate, not that he could blame the younger man. Perry hated himself after all.

Finding JD in the doctor's lounge, sitting on the couch with a blank, unemotional look on his face, Perry decided that moment was as good a time as any. Better to get their rocky relationship back on track as soon as possible. Swallowing his pride and guilt he paced into the room and up to JD. He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. Perry had almost forgotten how angelic JD looked sometimes.

"What do you want?" JD asked quietly, but not angrily which Perry took as a good sign.

"I think we should talk about what happened." Perry started, standing by the couch with remorseful eyes and folded arms. "We can't avoid each other forever. We need to talk about this."

JD couldn't look at his former lover, keeping his eyes glued to the wall ahead. "Talk? You mean about how you beat me up again and ripped my heart out. Then to top it all off you left me there."

"JD, please just hear me out. I tried to tell you in Coffeebucks yesterday…"

"Oh you mean when you tried to kidnap my son?" JD snapped, although still keeping his voice volume low.

Perry laced his fingers behind his head. "You know I would never do that, no matter how much of a jackass I've been."

"Who knows what you're capable of Perry. You've taken Sam out of day care before, remember."

"One time, like a year ago!" Perry cried out. He calmed himself before sitting down next to JD, putting a loving hand on his shoulder. "I know you think the worst of me but I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry."

"You said that last time, but look what happened. I can't do this again Perry." JD was on the verge of breaking down again, after days of composure. He hopped up from the couch and gazed out the window. "Don't make me feel for you."

Perry came up behind him, letting a hand wander onto JD's neck and play with his hair. "Just look at me. Talk to me, dammit. We have to sort this out, now. You know that." He felt JD quiver with his touch as his hand slid fully into the dark brown strands, unsure of whether it was a good or bad reaction. "We've been through so much over the years; I know we can work this out if we try."

JD walked to the vending machine, in the process removing the hand from his hair. "It's too late. Just go away. There is no way this is going to work."

"Over the years, you and me, we've been through it all. Heck I went from wanting to be away from you to wanting nothing but to be with you." Perry followed JD, grabbing his arm and making them face each other. "What I did to you haunts me every day."

JD yanked his arm free and lifted up his scrubs, making Perry look at his injuries. "Yeah, well what you did hurts me every day." Pulling his shirt down, he shook his head and wondered what the point of the conversation was. "I've learned my lesson and I'm done with you."

However, Perry reached for him again. "Please, JD…" But just as he was about to say his part, another presence in the room interrupted him.

"Back the fuck off now."

Haivng stormed into the doctor's lounge after some brief eavesdropping, Turk stood protectively in front of JD. In the process he smacked Perry's outstretched arm away. It was the first time he'd been free and able to find his elusive best friend. He was finally ready to explain himself.

The conversation he had overheard confirmed his worst suspicions. Turk's eyes narrowed and nostrils flared as his usually sweet, although competitive, demeanour was washed away in the name of protection. His eyes burned into Perry's, with hate filling every muscle of his body.

"Gandhi if you really think-" Perry started, but Turk shut him up almost immediately.

"Shut up Doctor Cox."

"Excuse me?" Perry asked, trying to look at JD only to have the surgeon keep blocking his view. His tone turned from confused to complete serious anger. "Stay out of this. It's none of your business."

"You beating the crap out of my best friend is damn right my business." Turk went right up in Perry's face, grabbing his white coat and baring his teeth in a snarl. "For years I've had to watch JD kiss your ass and he was happy as long as you showed him some kind of respect. So you start hooking up and get him all loved up in the bathroom before beating the crap out of him just to prove what a big man you are? Get him to fall for you so hard just to have a few laughs, right?"

Perry wanted to say what he felt to JD, but was a little innerved by the enraged surgeon in front of him. So he tried to use his position of power to get his way. "So help me if you don't move out of the way-"

"Then everyone is going to know what you did." Turk finished for him, keeping his battle like stance. "If you ever beat on JD again, there will not be enough left of you to put in a doggy bag. Now get out of my face."

Perry managed a scoff and grunt, trying to regain some form of composure before leaving the lounge. By this point, JD was just staring at his best friend in admiration and gratitude.

Feeling the eyes on him, Turk finally turned around to face his guilt. "Just come here." Not waiting for JD to return it, Turk hugged his best friend. "I'm sorry Vanilla Bear."

"It's okay." JD replied as he went and sat back down on the couch. "I forgive you."

"No, I should have been there for you." Turk joined JD on the couch, taking a deep breath before confessing the truth that he had held in for days. "That night put me in an awkward spot though. You were getting freaky with the Chief of Medicine while leading on The Todd."

"I didn't mean to lead people on, or put you on the spot. It all just happened."

"I know I said it wasn't the reason but it's weird to see you so close with other dudes, especially a jackass like Cox." The surgeon explained, still trying to figure it all out. "I would have thought at least one of your hook-ups was a fine young lady. Okay, I hoped it was."

"Might have made things less complicated." JD let out a soft laugh.

"It's just that Jordan was there and Todd came and started asking about you then I had to escape to the bathroom and there you were." Turk tried to shake the image from his head to continue. "JD, I didn't want you becoming one of those guys. You know the ones that care about nothing as long as they're getting some. No qualms about hurting feelings. I mean, you talk about wanting to see Sam more but you go with Doctor Cox and nearly break up a family. That's just not you. Not the JD I know."

"I never thought of it that way." JD tensed up at realising his own selfish motives. "I didn't want to hurt them, but I guess I never thought about Jordan and his kids. I just wanted Perry to love me. The curse of wanting what you can't have right?"

"I know." Turk looked at JD's scrubs, wondering how many bruises he was hiding. "Todd told me you had more bruises and I just knew Cox had messed you up. Even if you didn't tell me about your little somthin' somethin' why didn't you tell me he was beating on you?"

JD stared at the ground in shame. "I thought he'd stop. Stupid huh?" As a sign of their renewed friendship, he leaned on Turk's shoulder. This led to the two friends pulling each other into another hug.

Suddenly, Todd appeared in the doorway to the doctor's lounge. "Yet another successful surgery for the Big Dog this morning." He walked over to the couch and smiled down at the pair, his eyes lighting up as he took in his crush. "Hey JD."

JD managed a small, yet kind of embarrassed smile in return. "Hey Todd."

"Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." JD tried to control a small blush he could feel appearing on his cheeks.

The two sets of eyes finally met. There was just a moment of contentment as they looked at each other. Sparks were flying through the air and Turk not only noticed it, but he was sure he could feel it. He watched until the comfortable silence entered nearly ten seconds before clearing his throat, reminding his two friends that he still existed.

"So JD, how about you and I go out tonight?" Todd suggested, taking a seat beside JD and looking hopeful. "You, me, some body paint and a bucket of ice." He raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Journey playing in the background."

JD let out a little giggle at the thought. It was a tempting offer, but he didn't feel right about accepting it. "Some other time."

"Still in the friends stage. I'm cool with that." Todd put up his hands to signal no hard feelings. "When you're ready for that date, I'll be waiting."

"For the love of god stop talking about man-dates." Turk covered his ears, eyes wide with desperation.

"I'm going to get my workout on. I'll see you guys at lunch." Todd high fived Turk before giving JD a wink.

Once Todd had gone and was out of ear shot Turk poked at JD's arm in teasing disbelief. "Oh my god! You want to hit that, don't you?"

"No!" JD cried out, but knowing that Turk could see right through him he decided to answer honestly. "Okay, yes I have big feelings for him. But he's really comforting. I mean there's a reason Lisa slept with him after her dad died; if only Todd was with me when mine did."

"Dude, no details please." Turk held up his hands to signal stop.

JD's expression changed and he sighed. "He cared for me that night and day after the bar. It was so nice. But I told him that we should just be friends for a while. After what I did to him I can't just go treat him like a rebound guy. I mean, it's only been like a week since I broke up with Perry."

"Nothing stopped you from kissing him when you were doing the nasty with Doctor Cox, why should it stop you now that you're single?" Turk looked at JD, who seemed to have drifted off into a little fantasy. "Tell me you're not picturing what Todd's going to do to you?"

"It's cold, but erotic and colourful." A little lustful shiver shook JD's body for a second at the mere thought.

Before JD could continue dreaming, Turk interrupted. "JD you so have feelings for him. Seriously just then there was enough electricity between you to power Vegas. Just admit it."

"Yes I have feelings for Todd. I like him a lot and have for awhile. He makes me feel sexy and smarter." JD began to day dream yet again. Remembering waking up with Todd's strong, protective arms cocooning him. Admiring how intriguingly innocent Todd looked when he slept and the soft purring noise he made. How beautiful it felt.

He was brought back to earth by the surgeon stating the obvious. "JD that's all that matters. As much as it pains me to say this, you and The Todd seem to have something going on. So go get him!"

"It's too soon." JD commented, tugging at his sleeves and hoping to drop the subject.

"Don't sabotage what makes you happy because of someone else's screw ups." Turk ordered his friend, speaking firmly. "Todd may be a little thick and arrogant sometimes, but one thing is for sure he won't hurt you JD. So don't mess with his feelings when you clearly want to be with him."

JD laughed at the simplicity of Turk's logic. "You're right Chocolate Bear. At least with Todd I won't have to worry about water balloon fights."

"I've accepted your same sex love, so now you have to let that go." Turk shot a warning look and pointed finger towards JD.

"Fine, I'll get right on this. By that I mean in two days when I give Sam back to Kim. While I love the little guy, he's not the best for setting the mood." Getting up from his seat, his day began to brighten a little. "Thanks."

Turk stared after JD leaving, realising that he had just encouraged something that made him cringe. "What the hell did I just do?"

JD stood at his locker after a long day's shift. He desperately needed a shower, but was paralysed on the spot wearing his shower shorts and a t-shirt. He tried to will himself to remove the shirt and dash to the shower but was feeling insecure about his discoloured body, even though he was alone in the locker room at that moment.

He heard a familiar humming. Looking up in hope, he met the eyes of Todd. JD's lips curled up in a smile. Ever since talking to Turk he'd been rehearsing the perfect words to say to Todd. However, the speech he had prepared froze in his throat.

"JD how are you doing?" Todd came up to him, placing a hand on his waist.

"Thank you!" JD blurted out, stunning Todd for a brief moment. Suddenly, with that one touch to his waist, a rush of words flowed from his lips. "Thank you for everything. Cooking for me; making sure I got home after probably the worst night ever; holding me and listening to me babble on. You've been so patient with me, even though I know how you feel. Thank you for everything, Todd. You've been so good to me. You're even great with Sam."

Todd made a gesture like it was no big deal. "Happy to do it."

JD grabbed Todd's hand and brought it to his cheek. He shut his eyes, enjoying and appreciating the touch of the manly yet gentle hands. It was an amazing feeling, knowing that the hands weren't going to hurt him in any way. JD pressed his lips against Todd's palm, planting desperate kisses of gratitude.

"Hey, what's this all about?" Todd raised his eyebrows, his face beaming.

Squeezing the hand, still pressing it to his face JD spoke what he felt. "I want to be all yours. You can have me all to yourself, even though I'd totally understand if you said no. I thought that I needed time to get over this shit from the break up. But I realised that even though I didn't think I was ready to be with you, it sucks without you. Plus, Sam is back with Kim for a week and a bit so..."

"What are you saying?" Todd's eyes lit up with hope and a little bit of excitement. Still he tried to keep cool, in case the answer wasn't what he wanted.

"I'm saying that this cooling-off, 'let's be friends' period is stupid. The small talk is just silly. We like each other, we should be together right?" JD looked at the ground before finding the courage to meet Todd's face again. "So...do you want to come over tonight?"

"Oh yeah." Todd pulled JD into his arms. Looking into those eyes for a moment, he smiled. "Yours is the only application The Todd wants to accept."

Slowly, Todd moved his face closer and planted his lips on JD's in a romantic kiss. Feeling blissfully happy, JD returned the affection. Their lips moved perfectly together and mouths opened simultaneously, wanting more of the intimacy. Tongues tasted each other, dancing together, reminding the couple just how long it had been since their last kiss. The mere thought of that absence making the moment even more amazing and making both men hungrier for each other.

"I almost forgot how amazing your kisses were." JD breathed as the two sets of lips parted.

Todd slowly began to remove JD's t-shirt. JD allowed him to do so, but regretted it when his bruises came into view. Even though he knew Todd had seen them before when they were much worse, JD couldn't help but feel ashamed at their exposure. He tried to cover them up, shielding himself with his arms, but Todd brushed them aside.

Lightly, Todd touched JD's stomach. Feeling his companion shiver slightly, not knowing if it was from pleasure or pain, Todd hesitated before continuing. His fingertips traced around the injuries with such gentleness. Grazing the skin tenderly, making sure not to hurt JD. Touching the other man turned him on more than anything else.

JD smiled, letting out a little giggle as Todd's fingers stroked his sensitive skin. "It tickles."

Relieved he wasn't causing any pain, Todd glided his hands back to JD's waist. After seeing JD so sad, his contagious smile made Todd feel happy. Turning serious, Todd moved down and proceeded in kissing JD's body, hoping that this act of love would heal each purple bruise. He trailed the gentle kisses all the way up to the shoulders, causing JD to let out soft breathy sighs.

Todd smiled at JD, taking in the features of his face. "If only doing you would take away these bruises instead of hurting you more." Though it was a libido driven comment, he said it with genuine concern.

JD laughed. "If only."

Todd tugged on JD's hand, leading him. A spot of pink appeared on JD's cheeks as he felt the nervous excitement in his shower shorts. Todd effortlessly whipped off his banana hammock and tossed it into his locker. He removed a bottle of body wash, shutting the door before walking with JD into the communal showers. Looking at the shower shorts, Todd reached for them.

"No no no." JD batted Todd's hands away. "These stay on."

Todd teasingly traced the waistband of the shorts. "Come on JD, why won't you get naked for The Todd?"

"In case someone else comes in. I'm not as secure as you."

Clearly confused by that statement, Todd looked JD up and down. "Why?"

JD mirrored Todd's actions, eyeing him and taking in the naked masterpiece which resulted from hours of working out. "Of course you'd have no problem showing off. You're a god."

"Dude, do you even know how sexy you are?" Todd hugged JD from behind, leading them to the corner showerhead.

The moment JD turned the shower on, Todd pulled their two bodies together. They cuddled until they adjusted to the water temprature. JD touched the toned chest in front of him before meeting Todd's eyes.

Todd squeezed some body wash from the bottle he had. "Let me get you all cleaned up."

Gently Todd began soaping JD's shoulders and chest, lathering it until the bubbles ran down his body. He handed the bottle to JD, motioning for him to return the favour. JD squeezed out some soap and began rubbing it on Todd's abs. Touching the other man, washing him, was an amazingly erotic feeling that he'd long forgotten. There was such trust between them, it was beautiful and romantic.

"Nice and soapy." Todd commented, rubbing JD's back, making sure to be soft. Their soapy bodies and the shower water making things slippery as they rubbed against each other.

JD massaged Todd's arms as he soaped them down, squeezing the strong biceps which he longed to be wrapped up in. He reached around so he could also get Todd's back, feeling his partner's muscles quiver; moving his hand downwards until a soapy palm met a tight butt cheek. Looking up into the other man's eyes, JD pressed his forehead to Todd's; watching the reactions as he massaged Todd's behind.

"I guess we're really together now."

"Yeah we are." Todd's face sported a look of satisfaction. "You smell really good." He planted his lips across JD's shoulders, in the process getting some stray lather in his mouth.

JD laughed as his companion sputtered. "You idiot." He joked before playfully tracing a line of bubbles down Todd's nose.

"Oh we'll just see about that."

JD had no objections as he felt Todd's kiss once again. He leaned into Todd's embrace, intensifying their make-out session as both allowed their tongues and hands to wander freely. Todd pushed JD against the wall, sparking a hiss of pain. Worried, Todd broke away slightly to check on his lover, only to have JD pull him back.

"It's okay." JD reassured his companion, resuming their moment in a desperate need to feel. Passions out of control, the couple soon collapsed to the shower floor. Absorbed in their own little love bubble.

Unable to handle any more emotions relating to his and JD's affair, Perry knew he had to find JD and explain even if Turk was playing bodyguard. He had to get it off his chest and make JD listen. Tell JD how he was scared of the repercussions, angry that they hadn't been more careful, upset that their affair had ended, sexually frustrated and wanting JD against him. Maybe even admit that he loved JD back, though he had denied it.

The night at the bar had run through his head all week reminding Perry that JD was not his to hold. That he had been the cause of so much pain to someone he felt so deeply for. Turk's tongue lashing sure cemented that fact. Even JD's scathing comment about being near Sam had hit too close.

Part of him hoped he and JD could go back to where they were before the whole mess at the bar. Just take JD onto the roof and hold him, kiss him, have sex with him. He knew it was a stupid and unrealistic thought, but it didn't stop him dreaming.

Deep down he knew JD deserved so much better than the abuse. Still he kept making it so easy for Perry to apologize. No matter what, they kept coming back to each other. It was that hope that fuelled Perry. Made him believe in the possibility of a quick-fix; a reconciliation.

Having not found JD anywhere else and considering his shift had ended, Perry deducted that he would likely be in the locker room. He walked inside and took a deep breath. Mentally preparing himself, he walked to JD's locker. Seeing that the younger man wasn't there, Perry growled in frustration. Then he heard one of the showers going.

Perry, despite being a glorified atheist, thanked the lord as it seemed JD was alone this time. He let himself drift into a little fantasy. Picturing JD in his stupid yet somehow adorable shower shorts. JD running into his arms and while Perry would hesitate, he would eventually cave and cuddle the wet doctor. Moments like that made JD seem so innocent and cute, which in turn also made it easier for Perry to hurt the poor soul.

Shaking off the fantasy, Perry walked towards the showers. He had prepared a reasonably 'manly' yet sorry and emotional speech. The moment he opened his mouth in order to speak it to his newbie, Perry found himself greeted by a shocking display.

JD on the floor of the showers, entangled with someone else. It took Perry a second to realise that the naked man was Todd. The shower water was running over them, acting like a romantic rain and making the couple glisten as soap flowed off them. Perry winced as he heard JD moan softly. He wanted something, anything to stop the scene in front of him, but he couldn't look away.

He just continued to watch as JD's hands lustfully gripped Todd's back. As Todd's mouth devoured the lips of the man he loved. Noticing that one of Todd's hands seemed to disappear underneath JD's shower shorts. The look of pleasure on JD's face and the small bruises on his body. The way Todd was touching JD so tenderly.

Perry couldn't make sense of his emotions. He wanted to cry at the loss of JD. Throw up because the mere thought, let alone watching it, was disgusting. His anger wanted to destroy something, or beat the crap out of Todd either way. Love made him want to throw Todd off and just pull JD to him, into his arms so they could be sharing that passionate moment. Common sense reminded him that this was what he wanted in the first place. Then a part of him wanted to laugh, purely because he didn't know what else to do. He just stood, completely paralysed by it all.

JD moaned again. The noise that Perry had loved to cause a week ago had become torture to his ears. He was about to finally walk away and regroup when it happened. Todd was kissing JD's neck, giving JD a perfect view over his shoulder. Those eyes suddenly spotted Perry and focused on him. The powerful blue eyes that had the ability to freeze him up.

"Todd, shit!" JD lightly shook Todd so he stopped. His eyes still locked on Perry's as the shock overcame his enjoyment.

Todd helped JD to his feet and turned off the shower. "Hey Doctor Cox." He said it as though nothing had gone on, continuing to hold JD's hand. Of course, being oblivious to the past of JD and Perry, Todd was unconcerned.

"Come on JD. We can always finish this later." Todd turned from Perry and cupped JD's face.

"Okay Todd." JD replied, ignoring the other man in their presence. He made a silent vow not to go back, or even think about it. He was with Todd now and Todd made him happy.

Perry, knowing he was being shunned walked away from the two of them. Trying to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth, Perry felt one rogue tear slowly roll down his cheek.

NOTE: JD and Todd are now together and Perry has learned his lesson, YAY! So everything is wrapped up in a neat little package now right? Not a chance :P There is still more to come on this lovely little story :-) Have a ball with this little instalment because who knows what can and will happen in the next one. Assume nothing, expect anything.