So, I managed to write chapter 11 :) I don't know when I'll write chapter 12 though, sorry if it takes a while!

Thank you, Alex! for always making time for me.

A.V

The doorbell echoed in Castle's almost empty apartment. It confused him - the writer was not expecting anyone. Ever since he came back home he had refused to have guests over; only James Patterson, Michael Connelly and Stephen Cannell had visited him once or twice for their usual poker nights. Other than that, he had been busy planning his next series. He had built the timeline for the first book but he hadn't manage to find a name for the main character.

He opened the door and a relieved smiled appeared on his face. Rick was surprised because he had never told her where he lived; maybe she found it out: after all she was a detective. Anyway, having her visiting was always a pleasant surprise.

"Kate!" Richard greeted her with a hug.

"Who the fuck is Kate?" she demanded. A part of Castle started panicking but he managed to stay relaxed.

"Nikki..." he muttered.

Nikki kissed him on the lips and entered without an invitation, not that she really needed it. She had been in his house so many times. Before he went to the mental hospital she had visited him almost every day.

The mental hospital.

He thought of his days back at the institution, what he had done and what he had learned. Shaking his head, Rick closed the door and followed Nikki to his office. She was not real, he reminded himself. But their kiss had felt so real! He subconsciously touched his lips with his fingers.

"I'm losing my mind," he let out, brushing his hair and scratching the back of his head.

"I bet it has to do with that Kate woman," Nikki said while she scrutinized his office. "This place hasn't changed since the last time I was here."

It hadn't. He had also acknowledged that the minute he had walked in. Alexis had managed to keep everything in its place for five years.

"What are you doing here?" the writer asked politely.

"I came to see you, Rick," the woman replied without making eye contact. She was too preoccupied with analyzing his ship collection.

Nikki took one of the swords that Rick had in his office and started waving it around. He knew that she had never practiced the sport, but her movements looked so perfect, like if she had an innate ability for fencing.

"I've missed you," she said, placing the sword back in its place. "But our love is stronger than a conspiracy against us." She walked towards him and caressed his cheek.

She looked at him and the warmth in her eyes felt so real.. Her lips were so inviting. They had an inexplicable chemistry. Rick held the hand that Nikki had placed on his cheek and covered it with his own.

"You need to go, Nikki," he said softly. The look in her eyes hurt him, and he tried to backtrack. "I'm in the middle of something," the writer added, trying to alleviate the pain in Nikki's eyes.

"I see..." she sighed, freeing her hands from his and gazing at his plot timeline.

Nikki looked at him with teary eyes but didn't shed a tear. She was a strong woman, or at least that was what she wanted everyone to believe. Without sharing her thoughts, she grabbed her jacket and left the loft, leaving Castle with no other company than his thoughts and doubts.

The sound of the door closing brought him back to reality. He didn't realize how warm the loft was, which was odd considering that the day outside was rainy and cold.

Then things got worse. The writer started feeling a choking sensation that didn't let him breathe properly. His hands got sweaty and they started shaking. Rick knew it was only a panic attack, but it was too intense to stop it by himself.

He ran towards the kitchen to get his meds. Josh had gave him some pills before he left the mental hospital; he was only supposed to take them in case of emergency. This was definitely an emergency. He took two out and swallowed them dry.

Rick sat in a chair and leaned on his elbows on the kitchen table trying to clear his mind and waiting for the pills to have some effect on his body. He breathed deeply to calm his breathing. Then his eyes got fixed on an object; his cell phone. What was Kate's precinct again? 12th? No, that was Nikki's.

He thought harder. 21st! Kate worked at the 21st precinct.

Thank God Alexis had taught him how to browse on the internet with his new smart-phone; in less than one minute he had googled and found the precinct's phone number. He loved this technology.

His heart beat faster with each beep he heard. The phone ringed a couple of times until finally someone picked up.

"21st precinct, what can I do for you?" the cop said.

"Could you put Detective Beckett on the phone?" Castle asked trying to sound calm.

"Detective Kate Beckett?" the man on the phone repeated.

"Yes, homicide department." The writer gave more details about the person he wanted to contact.

"No one called Kate Beckett works at our homicide department, sir."

"There has to be a mistake," Castle said confused. "I know she works there, she told me!"

Rick heard the man on the other side of the phone line asking someone about Kate Beckett. There was a silence and then more talking. Castle couldn't hear what they were talking about, but after a while the same cop he was talking to started talking again.

"Positive, sir," the cop said. "Can I do anything else for you?"

"No, thank you," he said and hanged up.

Suddenly, Rick felt an intense wave of fear take over his emotions. He kept hearing the cop's voice saying 'No one called Kate Beckett works at our homicide department'. Over and over again. His heart was now pounding rapidly, it felt like it would break through his chest.

There was no one named Kate Beckett. What if she was also a product of his imagination? What if Nikki was real and Kate was a hallucination? What if his time at the institution had really been part of a conspiracy to make him forget Nikki and make him believe Kate was real?

The kitchen started spinning around him and he started feeling sick.

He reached for his medication once more and took two extra pills. Then he picked up his phone and looked for a name. A person that would understand him - Clark. Last time they had talk it ended in a fight, but Clark had always been a good friend. Rick was sure that his friend had already forgiven him.

"This is Clark speaking." Rick recognized his friend's voice talking though the device.

"I need a friend," he gasped.

The writer heard his friend saying something but he didn't manage to understand the words. He just felt his head hit the floor before everything went black.