Has anyone seen my lost dog Malcolm? He's small and brown, and answers to the name Malcolm! He's been missing for around eight years, but now it's Rebuilding time?!
Rebuilding
Chapter 11: You'll Get No Sympathy
It was a new day on Skyworld. A fresh start in Skyworld. Kirby had woken up, Yoshi had been found, and Wario had been removed from the party. In other words, spirits were up.
Yoshi was sitting with Kirby and Pikachu, who had immediately begun to regale Yoshi with tales of their brief adventure so far (with Pikachu also telling Kirby what happened when the latter was unconscious).
"I get it," said Yoshi, nodding slowly, "So you guys found out there are Smash Balls that aren't used as phones like in AU..."
"Please don't mention that again," shuddered Pikachu, trembling. The dinosaur looked at the Pokemon briefly, bewildered. "Sorry, but...you know...anyway, yes, Smash Balls actually give us powers called Final Smashes. You just have to break 'em open."
"So Bowser got his because he crushed a Ball in his fists?" asked Yoshi, eager and nervous at the same time.
"Yes, and he got turned into Giga Bowser," replied Kirby. "Mario did some firey stuff, and Link did something with his sword..."
Pikachu nodded. "And I used Volt Tackle."
"And Pikachu used Volt Tackle," ended Kirby, looking slightly downcast at the fact he had not tested his own Final Smash yet.
"I wonder who'll get theirs next?" asked Pikachu, looking at his two companions, neither of whom had used a Final Smash yet.
"I'm gonna place a wild bet on Donkey Kong," wagered Yoshi.
Kirby raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think he's going to get a Final Smash next?"
"He's chewing on a Smash Ball," replied Yoshi, pointing over at DK, whose teeth broke through the ball.
"Damn," cursed Kirby, lamenting his own bad luck, "What d'you think it'll be?"
"Something upbeat, probably!" laughed Yoshi, seeing DK procure a pair of bongo drums.
"Taa-daah!" cried Donkey Kong, slamming the drums in front of him.
Mario and Fox, who were closest, walked over to see DK's move.
Donkey Kong, enjoying himself, picked up two twigs and held them high in the air as imaginary drumsticks, much to Kirby, Yoshi, and Pikachu's amusement.
"DK-a, you might want to reconsider your-a ultimate move-a..." warned Mario, embarrassed.
"1, 2, 3!" cried DK, ignoring Mario. He pounded on the drums.
Fox ran away, muttering something about Donkey Konga and Guitar Hero having a freak baby.
DK swung his arms over his head and began to clap.
"DK always did make us laugh in the last two tournaments!" remembered Pikachu fondly, as Yoshi raised his index finger and pinky in a rock salute...type...well, you know that gesture. Kirby attempted it too, but oh wait HE HAS NO FINGERS.
"AND FINISH!" cried Donkey Kong, jumping on his drums and smashing them to pieces for no reason whatsoever.
"T-take it easy-a, will ya?" asked Mario, rubbing a bruise from where a drum splinter had impaled him and stuck him to the floor.
Kirby, Yoshi, and Pikachu all chuckled and turned back to their conversation.
"So, then we were in Hyrule..." began Pikachu, but Yoshi wasn't paying attention. "Yoshi!"
"There's a weird little ball here!" giggled Yoshi, examining a white ball with an exclamation mark painted on it. "I wonder what it does!"
"Whatever, just get rid of it," said Pikachu, irritated that he was being interrupted.
Yoshi threw the Pitfall on the ground a few metres away from him.
"Hey, kids!" called Donkey Kong, running over. "Did you like my drumming solo-o-OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!"
Kirby, Yoshi and Pikachu looked over to see Donkey Kong embedded in the ground on the spot where Yoshi had thrown the Pitfall.
Yoshi couldn't help but grin.
"DK, sorry man, Yoshi just found an item," apologised Kirby, who was also fighting back a chuckle.
"No, it's not that!" said Donkey Kong, pulling himself out of the ground and handing the Pitfall back to Yoshi. "I just thought I saw Bowser!"
"Bowser?" asked Pikachu.
"Bowser?" asked Kirby.
"Thought?" asked Yoshi.
Indeed, it was Bowser. Bowser had been ascending Rumble Falls, and had finally made it to Skyworld.
"Meta-Knight told me you freaks were here!" snarled Bowser victoriously. "Now you'll be finished!"
Yoshi threw the Pitfall at Bowser.
"DAMN I'M SO BAD AT THIS!" screamed Bowser, being embedded in a cloud.
Kirby puffed up and blew away the cloud.
"NUEZ!" screamed Bowser.
Bowser fell several thousand feet to his doom.
"Getting fooled by a trap like that..." sighed Donkey Kong, shaking his head.
"IT'S PRETTY GODDAMN HUMILIATING!" came an enraged, Bowser-like cry from several feet below, getting fainter.
Suddenly, an explosion rang out from where Bowser was falling, and a cocky-looking swordsman ran up the various cloud-like steps to where the Smashers stood in shock.
"He'll get no sympathy from me!" chortled Ike.
"Hey, weren't you in a box in the old Mansion?" asked Link with interest, recognising Ike somewhat.
"Yes," replied Ike tersely. "And it's finally time for me to become a new Super Smash Brother!"
"Isn't that a two-handed sword?" asked Zelda, listlessly pointing at the blade Ike was holding in one hand.
"It is indeed," replied Ike proudly. "But how would you know, you're just a girl! Girls are lame! That's why I started dating Soren! He understood me!"
"Sorry Pit, looks like you can't date this one, some other guy got there first," Fox said smugly. Pit hit him.
"You're strong enough to hold a two-handed sword in one hand?" asked Yoshi, trembling slightly.
"Get a load of this thing!" laughed Ike, scornfully. "Is this another excuse for a newcomer fighter?"
Yoshi stepped backward, a tinge of red shining across his cheeks.
"Yoshi's been here since the beginning of the Super Smash Brothers tournaments," replied Samus coldly. "Show him some respect. He's probably got more skills than you."
Ike stared blankly at Samus.
Samus stared through her visor at Ike.
Everyone else watched on nervously.
"Who's the dude?" asked Ike finally, jerking a thumb at Samus.
"Run," advised Link, his eyes wide. "Now."
Ike swung his sword nervously at Samus.
"Your phallic weapon," scoffed Samus, pointing at the suspicious shape at the tip of Ike's sword, "is too slow."
And she shot Ike in the face.
Everyone fell silent.
"OW! Forget this, I'm going back to the castle!" whined Ike.
"Castle?" asked Mario. "Maybe Peach-a will be there-a! She loves-a waiting in castles to be rescued-a!"
"Fine, tag along, whatever, just leave the scary robot behind!" cried Ike.
Everyone's eyes darted towards Samus.
"You guys are NOT leaving me here," warned Samus.
"Hey, I've got an idea!" smiled Fox, snapping his fingers. "Ike, turn around!"
"I didn't tell you my name was Ike-"protested Ike, before Donkey Kong picked him up and forced him to turn around.
Fox began taking off Samus' armor.
"Ah, I see!" grinned Kirby. "Ike won't think Samus is a robot if she doesn't wear the suit, so then we can all leave Skyworld and go to this castle place!"
Fox paused, with Samus' arm's armor in his hand.
"Yeah...yeah, that's what I'm doing...just let me get the chest-plate off..." mumbled Fox, embarrassed.
Fox fiddled around with Samus' chest.
"My chest-plate is off," said Samus through gritted teeth, staring at Fox.
"I-I know," replied Fox, his lip quivering slightly.
Ike turned back around.
"Woo! Hot chicks! Okay, let's go!" smiled Ike, activating his warp magic.
"How'd you know that'd work?" asked Yoshi.
"Cause...um...well...Samus is very...um...attractive, Yoshi, and...uh...Ike's a guy...so...yeah..." coughed Fox, failing to convince anyone that he had had an actual plan.
Everyone warped to Ike's castle.
"Hey, this place is cool," grinned Pit, walking around the castle with the others.
A cannonball, on fire, flew through the air and hit Pit, setting him on fire. Sweet, glorious fire. Yay fire. I love you, fire.
"Damnit!" grunted Ike. "I'm under attack! I'll have to hold them off!"
Ike drew his sword and braced himself.
"This has got to be the most idiotic defensive strategy I have ever seen," everyone said together.
A cannonball soared towards Ike, and missed him.
"The castle is secure!" grinned Ike. "I did it!"
The cannonball hit the ground, and broke the floor.
"You idiot!" cried Samus.
"That nearly got me!" complained Pikachu.
"Watch out!" alerted Fox.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" screamed Zelda.
"Two girls?" asked Ike, not paying attention to anything that was going on. "Nice."
"Didn't you say earlier you're dating a guy named Soren?" asked Kirby.
"Hey, you guys knew my name before I even told you, we both get to have a continuity error," replied Ike. "By the way, I'm a mercenary."
"Cool, I guess," smiled Fox.
"And I fight for my friends," continued Ike.
"Wait, doesn't that defeat the purpose of being a mercenary?" asked Link. "Don't mercenaries theoretically fight for everyone, not just their friends?"
Ike burst into tears, and then a stress rash.
"I hate that guy," sighed Samus.
"Well, that's ironic, because I think he's a sexy beast!" chuckled Pit, playfully elbowing Mario, who was next to him, in the shoulder. "Eh? Eh?"
Everyone stared at Pit.
Pit hung his head in shame.
"God dammit..." began Marth resignedly, as he was run over by the Blue Falcon for the second time.
Captain Falcon sprang into action, leaping out of his car, and ripping off the wing mirror.
"FALCON..." began Falcon, throwing the wing mirror into the air.
The mirror flew upwards, then back down into Falcon's waiting fist.
"PUNCH!" Captain Falcon finished, sending flying, flaming debris from his car after the mystery assailant, one after the other.
Cursing under his breath, the attacker ran off. For now.
"Falcon!" panted Ness, one hand gathering PSI energy, the other clutching a stitch in his side. "Someone was shooting at us!"
"Thanks for the news, kid," sneered Falcon, striking his infamous "Show me ya moves!" pose at the retreating enemy. "Now get back to somewhere safe!"
"Oh, right, of course..." replied Ness, casting a sideways glance at Marth's twitching body.
Please, please, PLEASE give me reviews. And tell me if you've seen my neighbour's lost d-MY lost dog Malcolm! Whoever finds Malcolm will win a fabulous prize?!1