Fear, the Enemy
-M. Lauren
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A letter was arranged to travel the Nordic Seas to the royal castle of Aalborg. It had been a week since its departure and Arendelle's men had returned home with no response. It was as to be expected, Elsa continued to reminded herself. Though the unease of the situation was still housed angrily in the depths of her stomach.
They were another seven days into the coldest season of the year. The latest shipments of rations were running low and most of the village was in hibernation mode. Chilled feet graced the markets only for the bare necessities. No one wanted to bother with the frost bite. The royal family and their guests were staying busy within the stonewalls of the castle. Elsa was consumed by her seemingly endless hearings while Irene and the other housekeepers kept up with their daily chores. Even though they were cooped up, the work didn't stop. The brunette wouldn't admit it out loud, but every time she stepped foot into the courtyard she was thankful to have agreed to stay with the royals until spring. The winter air was bitter. Its bite was a reminder that Mother Nature had an incomparable vengeance.
Anna however had taken it upon her self to tutor Vera. The idea came to her one morning whilst she watched the girl sit for hours outside of Elsa's office, patiently waiting for her Queenly duties to end. Teaching the young girl reading and arithmetic had given the nineteen year old a new drive. It preoccupied her days and gave her the sense of purpose she'd been looking for. Together, the two poured over old books and puzzles, snuggled up by the fire in the lounge. Surprisingly, the five year old was happy for a break from her mundane tirades around the halls. You could only bother the help so many times before it became a nuisance.
It was just after eleven in the afternoon. The embers burned bright in the hearth, cutting Anna's uncomfortable chill. Today's lesson was on writing. It was turning out to be their most disastrous lecture yet. Vera had grown frustrated in maintaining ink in the quill long enough to write out her name. Smudges were plastered all over the parchment like dark blemishes. Her heavy hand had scratched gashes into the assignment, the tip of the pen flexing in distress. A groan left Vera's mouth as she threw the feather across the desk. "I can't do it!" She whined and crossed her arms against her chest in defeat.
Anna ran a tentative hand through her hair. With an aggravated sigh she lifted the quill and settled it back in the child's hand. "You're doing great!" She encouraged. "Just don't be so forceful when you press down." She took the child's hand in her own demonstrating how to lightly draw out the ink. Together they danced the quill across the page.
A smile stretched across the child's face as she lifted the parchment to display above her head. "We did it!"
Anna beamed. "That was all you, my dear."
She bounced excitedly in her chair. "Can I go show Irene?" Her proud demeanor subsided as angry bickering sounded from just beyond the lounge. As if on queue, two women could be heard having a heated discussion. It was becoming so prevalent Anna couldn't even blame the paper thin walls anymore. The voices were muffled against the enclosure, but their tones echoed with vigor. Vera frowned in response. "They're at it again."
Anna covered her mouth as she giggled. "It does seem that way." Carefully, she took the parchment from the child's hands. A finger tapped against her chin as she contemplated another word for Vera to trace. A light bulb lit above her head as the neurons fired in her brain. With quick penmanship, she replaced the sheet in front of the child.
Her blue eyes fell into a squint as Vera considered her work quietly. It looked easy enough. She was a pro now, after all. A smirk rose to her lips before she pushed the paper away from her. "Why do you think they argue all the time?"
Anna sulked and repositioned the parchment back in front of the small blonde. "I think they just don't always see eye to eye on things." Her shoulders rose in a shrug.
"I'm just saying, I just think it would make more sense to put those books here." Irene could be heard grumbling from the other room as her voice hitched.
"I think it's a distraction." Vera whispered, holding the quill in her right hand. She ignored the princess's growing confusion as she gently worked the ink across the page.
"What do you mean?" Anna inquired, eyeing the child curiously.
Vera didn't answer for a moment as she perfected a capitol A. "Do you remember when we were reading Frankenstein?" She questioned, her gaze still averted to the table. Anna nodded, watching as the girl focused on her next letter; N. "Well after Victor's mother dies he uses his creations to distract himself from how sad he feels."
Anna waggled an eyebrow in uncertainty. "You think they're sad?"
"No…" Vera drawled, sticking out her tongue in steady concentration. Out from the black ink danced a second N. "Victor then meets Elizabeth, remember?" Her chin tipped briefly to flash Anna an idiotic stare. "And he's afraid to love another woman again so he continues to make his monster."
"I'm not sure I'm following..." Anna admitted truthfully as the child dropped her attention back to her work.
Vera finished off the four-letter word with a last wobbly A. "I think they're in love." She continued nonchalantly. "And they use their arguing as a distraction." Her hands lifted the parchment for Anna's referral. "Well, what did I spell?" The princess's blue eyes were wide when Vera met her glance. Anna appeared lost somewhere between bewildered and impatient. "What?" Vera questioned cocking her blonde head in confusion.
"What did you just say?" Anna gawked at the girl wildly.
Vera shrugged. "I think they're in love." She paused, thinking for a moment. "But not the love that Elsa said that she feels. The real kind of love, like you and Kristoff or Romeo and Juliet." She expressed, recalling another book the two had read together. "Well, what did I write?" Vera asked again drawing her tutor's eyes back to the new word.
"That's my name," Anna stuttered, still taken back by the child's declaration. "Anna."
Vera smiled smugly as she held out her work. "Will you teach me to write, Elsa?"
Anna blinked. "Of course." With unsteady hands, she took the quill and the paper from the five year olds grasp. She etched out the child's third word, before sliding the materials back to Vera. The blonde regarded them quickly as she brought the quill to the page. "Vera," Anna whispered, putting her hand over the child's to still her work. "What makes you think Elsa and Irene are in love?"
The child pursed her lips in deliberation. "I just think it would be nice." She grinned and rose onto her knees. "Haven't you noticed that Elsa always wants to be around Irene? She's always in the library. They go on walks and she eats with dinner with us almost every night now." With her hand's pressed against the table, she drew her head in close to the princess. "Don't you think it would be nice?"
Anna's voice stuck still in her throat as she stared at the child in absurdity. Her hand lifted from the child's and came down to finger the hem of her green dress. "I think they're just doing things that friends do." Her heart beat unevenly in her chest.
"You and I are friends." Vera explained. "And Elsa and I are friends, but it's different with her and Irene."
"How?" The words left her mouth at a hush.
"They spend time together like you and Kristoff. You know, always together, playing games and activities." Anna coughed in response, banging a fist against her chest. She wanted to explain to Vera that the activities Kristoff and her were involved in were worlds different from what Irene and Elsa were doing. She wanted to tell her that two women didn't feel things like a man and a woman. Though she knew that wasn't always true. The stories were finite in their vast collection of literature, but they did exist. "Don't you think it would be nice for them to love each other?" Vera asked again, pulling the princess from her thoughts.
Anna paused, alarm still filtering through her thoughts. Finally, a small smile grew across her cheeks. "I think having love for another person is a wonderful thing."
Satisfied with her answer, Vera tipped her head back down and continued her work.
The afternoon slowly faded to evening. The castle returned to its usual dull roar. Just after five the majority of the staff filtered out of the foyer, retiring home for the evening. All that remained now were Gerda and Kai. Over dinner, the adults held mindless chatter; discussing the weather, Irene's progress with the library, and Vera's schooling. This was how their night's together flowed. The five year old dominated most conversations these days, but Elsa was surprised to see her usually chatty sister pushing cabbage around her plate in idle listening. Anna smiled and nodded when appropriate, but appeared to ignore most of the discussions happening around her. Her attention was somewhere else this evening. Elsa was almost convinced she was missing Kristoff until she dropped her gaze to her plate and felt Anna's eyes following her every move. She tried to catch her in the act, but was failing dismally. She focused her concentration on Vera as she talked. Anna's perplexed stare directed to her cheek once more. When Elsa turned, her sister was back lost in her food.
Anna sat, unable to get the child's words out of her head. After working on her penmanship the red head suggested they move onto some light reading. She was hopeful one of her favorite childhood stories would provide a good distraction, but the words provided no relief. Not even 'Gertrude's Bird' could pull Anna from her slump. Vera's assumptions kept drifting back and forth between her ears. She fell victim to the sick feeling that something had transpired in her sister's love life and gone over completely over her head. Elsa had never discussed her marital intentions as a Queen. Truthfully, Anna believed Elsa was quite content being herself. At least for the time being anyway. But it wasn't like the opportunities hadn't arisen since her coronation day. Her older sister was naive to the ways of men. She was blind to how the male delegates lips would linger against the soft skin of the back of her hand in greeting. She failed to respond to any boastful chatter when someone was out to impress her. Anna was even surprised to recall her sister never having had a private meeting with any single visiting Prince or King. When the occasion advanced, Elsa either redirected the conversations' elsewhere or inquired what importance it held to treaty matters or trade deals. Anna was feeling astonished by her own ignorance.
Since the eternal winter, the younger sister had just been blissfully thrilled to have her best friend back in her life. The events of the coronation were behind them. It had been comforting to learn there'd always been a reason behind the closed doors and missed conversations. For the last eight months, Anna had been unwilling to let any more time go. She was determined to build the best relationship they could. True, Elsa's often substantial workload kept her busy, but it provided Anna with time to spend with Kristoff. After, she was always able to relish in the down time they spent together as sisters.
The arrival of their two new guests had shaken things up a bit. For the better, Anna had assumed. Their conversations were lighter. Dinners were often filled with laughter and cheery chatter. Vera being around also seemed to really help Elsa come out of her shell. But now Anna was left wondering if maybe it had never been Vera at all? Maybe a certain brunette had more to do with Elsa's fewer solo nights reading in her room. Even maybe the decrease in dinner's Anna spent alone at the dining table. She considered Elsa's declaration when expressing how much she wanted them to stay. Anna was wedged between feeling blind, misguided, and over all a little disappointed. If Irene had been the reason for Elsa's new progressions, Anna was left wondering why she hadn't been enough?
After their simple meal of steamed cabbage and bread, Anna excused herself. She wasn't feeling up to her usual evenings while Kristoff was away. She neglected her game of hide and seek with Vera and the quiet conversation that often took place after. Anna and the other adults usually sat in the lounge, sipping tea and talking the night away. With hope for a good nights rest, she encouraged herself to believe that her mind would return to normal. The solitude of her bedroom was, for once, comforting. To be alone with her thoughts and away from the wandering eyes of her sister and the curious five year old, was a relief. One Anna never thought she'd enjoy. She dressed for bed before flinging herself onto her mattress. She rolled to face the window and silently considered the Frozen tundra below.
It was quite sometime later when Anna was pulled back from her thoughts.
"Do you want to build a snowman?" A woman's voice teased from the entranceway. Anna spun around, overtly surprised to see her sister closing the door behind her. She drew to her knees as Elsa floated over to her bedside. Very carefully she sat against the headboard watching Anna carefully with her bright blue eyes. "You were awfully quiet at dinner." Elsa mused softly. "Did Vera give you a run for your money today?"
Anna blushed and pulled her thighs into her chest protectively. "You could definitely say that."
The Queen sighed. Sitting straight, she crossed her legs and faced her sister. "I know we discussed having them stay until spring, but if it's getting to be too much I can make other arrangements…"
"No, no," Anna shook her head. "It's not that."
Elsa frowned, rubbing her hand across her forehead.. "Well if it's the tutoring, you don't have to feel obligated to teach her." She assured Anna. "I can have someone else do it and free up some of your time."
"No," The younger sister whispered. "It's not that either. I love teaching Vera."
Elsa leaned forward and placed a comforting hand against Anna's knee. "Then what has you all out of sorts tonight?"
She raked in a deep breath and considered her feelings carefully. Hesitantly, she spoke. "Elsa, do you like men?"
"Men?" The blonde's eyes widened. Her hand reeled back in shock. "Of course I like men; they're fine. What's not to like about them?"
Anna shook her head. "No, no," She blushed. "What I mean is, do you want to find a suitor of sorts? A partner? You know, someone to stand beside you on the throne?"
Elsa's icy blues lowered. "Have you been talking to Irene?"
Anna was suddenly angry. "You've talked to Irene about boys?" Her heart pounded in her chest. She was threatened by the information.
"No," Elsa giggled, easing Anna's concern. "Well, yes... She mostly talked I just brushed her off saying it wasn't something I was interested in."
Anna's stiff posture softened. "So you don't like men?"
Elsa drew long comforting caresses up her legs as her shoulders rose in discomfort. "I don't know." She finally whispered. "Having a suitor just doesn't feel like something that's on the horizon for me. Honestly, it doesn't feel like something I'm all that comfortable with right now." Her sister cocked her head in confusion. "Anna, listen, I've just learned how to be a queen. I have these expanding powers I've never had a chance to explore. As everyone else has gotten to know me, I've been getting to know myself. I can't just brush off the concern I've held onto for twenty one years." She continued. "Only a dozen or so times have I even left the castle since taking the throne. Does that really sound like someone who is ready to marry a prince and start a family?"
"No, but-"
"Anna, I'm fine on my own and perfectly comfortable with you and Kristoff doing whatever it is you're doing. You can have the big wedding celebration and as many kids as you want." She interrupted. "I just think, for now, I'm doing what is best suited for me." Her hands settled against her knee as she offered her sister a small smile.
"But what about women?" Anna grasped at her open mouth willing the words to return, but it was too late.
"What about women?" Elsa shook her head in misunderstanding.
Anna stumbled over her thoughts "I just. Is there? Um." Her cheeks burned bright red. "Could there be a chance that maybe, you kind of might, you know, have feelings for, um, a girl?"
The queen pressed her back into the headboard, stretching as far away from her sister as she could manage. "A girl?" She fumbled. "What girl?"
"Well," Anna bit her lip. Her mind traveled back to her discussion with the five year old. "Vera had brought up today during our lesson that she thought you and Irene might be, you know, in love." Her hands wavered uneasily at her sides. "And I couldn't help but think maybe that's why you've been so…present, lately."
Elsa's brows were resting just below her hairline. "Me and Irene?" She questioned completely flabbergasted.
"It was just her assumption." Anna assured.
"One in which you're echoing right now…" Elsa appeared somewhere between cross and amused. "You're telling me, you're going off the assumptions of a five year old?"
Her mouth dropped as the words stilled in her throat. "I just, I thought, I couldn't help but notice you do spend an awful amount of time with her, you know, taking walks, visiting her in the library, fighting about nonsense…"
"You're mad!" Elsa cried humorously as she stood from the bed. Her feet fell into a pace as she wrung her fingers against her waist. "Irene and I are just friends!" Anna wasn't sure if her sister was laughing or furious. "I'm sure she'd appear attractive to most people perhaps, and she has nice hair, but I've never thought of her like, well like that." She expressed, placing a soothing hand against her chest. She walked circles back and forth in front of the bed. Anna did her best to follow her with her eyes without getting dizzy. "Besides, she drives me absolutely insane most days. She's so opinionated and forceful. She never listens when I talk. We can't get through one solid day without an argument. And she's a girl for goodness sake!"
"Elsa," Anna sighed. "I think the ones we love are supposed to drive us mad." She rose tentatively to the edge of the bed. "Look at Kristoff and I. We started our relationship fighting and to this day we never see eye to eye on anything. But, it works. I know at the end of the day the arguments and the bickering matches; they're just that. They don't mean we don't care about each other any less. I love to be with him and he loves to be with me."
Elsa stopped in her tracks. "You know, seven months ago you were trying to marry a man you just met." She scolded. "What could you possibly tell me about love?"
Anna frowned. "A hell of a lot more then you could teach me!" She shouted, before settling back down onto her rear. She shook her head in rejection. "I don't want to fight." Anna promised, coming in closer to her sister. "I was silent today at dinner because I was worried if Vera was right it would mean my role in your life would get smaller." Elsa watched as her sister's gaze fell to the floor. "I was worried that if you dated a woman instead of a man that I would become less of a sister to you." A small smile crossed over her lips as she leaned forward in her seat. "Elsa do you think two months ago you would have come to my room if I'd gone to bed upset?"
"I..." She stuttered. "Of cou-"
"The answer to that is probably no." Anna interrupted. "You don't like the confrontation and I respect that about you." She winked playfully. "And let me ask you this. Do you think two months ago you'd be sitting at the dining room table every night, complaining about delegations and court hearings?" Elsa remained silent. "That's a no too... All I'm saying is whether it's Irene or Vera, they've brought you out of your shell in a way I never could have done as your sister. And though that's not the easiest recollection for me to have as someone who loves and cares about you... I have to believe it's all been for the better-"
Elsa raised her hand, stilling her sister's words. "Anna, you're out of your mind. I don't like Irene in any kind of way besides a friend."
Her shoulder's rose into a shrug. "I'm just saying, you said you didn't want her to leave. You got so angry when you'd heard they were planning too. You spend all of your free time hassling her in the library or training Vera with her powers…" Anna lifted her self to her feet. "And you and I, we've never been closer. You've been more open with me about Arendelle's affairs and you let me braid your hair after your bath. I'd be naive to say that this is just because we decided to open the gates." She grinned. "This is all happening because you decided to open your heart."
The blonde grew sterner. "I don't like Irene." She rebuked. "Not like that."
Anna smirked. "I think you might."
Elsa's pacing began again. She was lost to her sister's words. Irene was a friend, a great friend. They'd only known each other a few months, sure, but Elsa liked to think they got along well. They loved pushing each other's buttons and getting under each other's skin, but the blonde had always believed it had been in a way similar to how siblings bicker.
But in the back of her head, she knew she was wrong.
Her and Anna had disagreements, of course, but usually once it was solved they moved on with their lives. Irene on the other hand, was always looking to start another one, or bring something back up that they had argued about the day before. Then, another frightening revelation came to her mind. Sometimes their arguments were the best part of her day. She loved to watch as the brunette's forehead creased in frustration. Elsa would poke fun against something she'd done or question her antics just to get a rise out of her. And when they finished their squabble, both women would fall into compatible laugher. Irene's cheeks would raise up to pillow her brown eyes. Then they'd light up with gold flakes. Elsa's heart skipped a beat as she followed her thoughts. Surely these were not the images someone would keep in their head about someone who they thought 'just a friend'. "I can't like Irene!" She stammered suddenly. "I don't! I mean I can't. It's just not done. How dare you make such an accusation? You're out of your mind; you and Vera both. I couldn't possibly feel that way about another woman!" She stopped her tirade and looked to her sister in fear. Her blue eyes were hazed in terror. "Could I?"
Anna opened her mouth to respond as a knock sounded from the door. Both women exchanged nervous glances before Anna found her voice. "Come in!" She called.
It was becoming a more frequent sight to see; Sir Talbot in the castle at night. He stepped into the room looking disheveled. "Y-your majesty," Douglas fumbled over his words. "I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news."
Elsa looked to Anna who held the same uneasy expression. Usually she would follow Sir Talbot to her study, but something told her that it would be unnecessary. Whatever bad news Douglas was about to share, Anna was sure to learn of it on her own.
"You may speak freely here." She encouraged as he stepped in to face her.
"Queen Elsa, our trade ship leaving Kristiansand has been pirated." His voice caught briefly before he straightened his spine. "Three men are dead and our supplies are gone."
I really love how Elsa looks to Anna for permission here. It's something that I believe would happen in the Frozen Universe whether I wrote it or the creators themselves. In my head, I was writing this under the assumption that Elsa did not understand that how she responds to Irene could be considered flirtatious. Her conversation with Anna was supposed to be that of a lesson; a lesson on relationships. I wanted Elsa to learn of her feelings at the same time Anna was because I don't actually see our favorite Queen having the capacity to learn that on her own.
But I'm sorry, I don't let love come so easy to those who deserve it.
Let the village starvation period begin...
Cheers!
-M
Additionally, I away on business until two Saturday's from now. As Sunday-Tuesday is a training class, I will probably be pretty preoccupied. I am going to work on getting out something Tuesday/Wednesday evening. Bare with me friends. It's all done :) It just has to be revised.