Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura and its characters are the property of CLAMP. The artwork used in the cover image is the property of zellyroll on Twitter.

Special thanks to Grand Chariot for beta reading this story.

Chapter 11: Close for Comfort

November 2016

"Do you think he forgot about me again?"

Sakura's gaze drifted down to the boy sitting beside her on the park bench. His unruly brown hair was illuminated by the street lamp hanging above their heads. He looked up at her with his big, amber eyes with such conviction that she held all the answers in the universe – including the answer to the question he had just asked.

Lifting her hand from her lap, she stroked his hair back and shook her head. His question was innocent but the context behind it broke her heart into pieces. Ryuu had been forgotten before. She was there when it happened, and she didn't doubt that it had happened more than once. He was accustomed to this when he shouldn't be. A child should be loved and cherished. Not neglected and forgotten. To the world, he was a young child and that was shown through his face. But it was his eyes that told his story and for him, his story was that he was an old soul. Living a life beyond his years.

"No, I don't think so," Sakura murmured. "Your dad just has a lot on his plate at the moment."

His brows drew together in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"It means that he's very busy," Sakura explained. Moments like this reminded her that he was only eight years old. There was no doubt that he had been through a lot more than the average eight-year-old, there was still a realm of knowledge out there waiting for him.

"I know that," Ryuu mumbled. "He thinks I don't see but I know."

"What have you seen?" Sakura asked. Over the time she had known Ryuu, she learned that he wasn't the type of child to open up to you. He was very careful with his words and kept his cards close to his chest. Getting any information out of him was like trying to pull teeth. With that in mind, she jumped at the chance to learn more about what was going on with Ryuu and Syaoran.

"He doesn't eat or sleep when he comes home because he's in his office working," he replied.

Sakura frowned. She was aware of his job and how intense running a company could be but at the same time, she thought he would've had a whole team of staff helping him around the clock. If he didn't then it made sense, why he sounded so desperate on the phone earlier. He was exhausted and no matter how much money he had, he couldn't be in two places at once.

"Are you eating and sleeping, Ryuu?" Sakura asked.

He bobbed his head up and down. "But I'm scared something will happen to him." He paused for a moment, carefully selecting his next words. "Like what happened to mum"

Sakura blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. He didn't need to spell out what his fear was because they were in the same vein as Sakura's had been. Losing her mother at such a young age made her cling onto her father even more. She could see that Ryuu was the same to a certain extent.

"That won't happen," she said, stroking his hair once more. "There's no need for you to worry about that."

His face was solemn. It was the face of someone who had done something wrong, said something wrong. Someone who should be promising to never do that again, say that again but won't. The air around them simmered and he let out a big yawn.

Glancing down at her watch, Sakura sighed. It was getting late. Syaoran was already two hours late and she hadn't heard a thing from him. People at the park were starting to leave and for a moment, she thought she'd be joining them pretty soon.

"If you want, you can sleep here," Sakura said while patting her lap. "I can wake you up once he gets here."

Ryuu rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. He was reluctant at first but as his eyes began to droop even further, he shifted his body and rested his head on her lap. Sakura silently hoped she wasn't crossing a line, but it was too late to worry about that now. In only a matter of seconds, he was fast asleep. Like his father, he was exhausted.

Minutes passed and before she knew it, another hour went by and Ryuu was still sleeping. Syaoran still hadn't called or updated her on when he was going to arrive – if he was going to arrive at all. She trusted him. She trusted that he would come eventually, that he hadn't forgotten about them. But even Sakura was beginning to have her doubts.

Then she heard a sound. Footsteps on the concrete ground behind her. It wasn't uncommon for people to be walking through the park during the nighttime in Tokyo. Much like New York, people never slept here. Curiosity got the better of her and she looked over her shoulder.

A tall man dressed in all black – a black jacket and black dress pants – was walking directly to the bench she was sitting on. He ran a hand through his hair that was identical to the one on her lap at the moment. He hadn't forgotten.

Syaoran sat down on the edge of the bench beside her. His head was bent, and his gaze was fixated on the ground beneath his feet. He hadn't said a word since he arrived. Not even an apology or an explanation as to why he was late. But he didn't need to say anything because his face told Sakura everything she needed to know. His cheeks were gaunt, the skin under his eyes was dark, and it looked like he had aged ten years in only a matter of hours since she last saw him.

Sakura reached out and rubbed his shoulder. She could feel the muscles underneath her hand and while they were strong, they were full of tension. Slowly, he slid back against the backrest of the bench and folded his arms. He watched Ryuu as he slept on Sakura's lap and she did the same until she decided it wasn't interesting enough, so she watched him instead. There was a ghost of a smile touching his lips.

"Was he good for you?" he asked softly.

She nodded. "We ate strawberry ice cream and kicked the soccer ball around but he wasn't very impressed with me, so it didn't last long."

"That sounds like something he would do." He was smiling a smile she hadn't seen before. It was one full of affection but it wasn't for her. It was for Ryuu. But it vanished within a second.

The cell phone he was clutching in his hand was vibrating and streams of colours flashed across the screen. Sakura peered over his shoulder and caught a small glimpse of the endless notifications. Syaoran rubbed his jaw with the palm of his hand and swiped across the screen with his other hand. Only moments later, his phone was off and inside the pocket of his jacket.

"Is everything okay at work?" Sakura asked. If it was any other parent, she wouldn't bother asking because what happened at work was none of her business. But with Syaoran, they were past the point of being strictly professional with each other. There was something wrong and it was eating at Syaoran – she knew that, he knew that, and even Ryuu knew that. She wanted to help however she could. She was desperate to help.

"Everything's fine." His response was short and curt. It was also a lie that even his poker face couldn't hide.

"I know we haven't known each other for very long but you're not going to fool anyone with that lie," Sakura said. "Especially me and I'm offended that you thought it would."

She was ready to take back her words the instant they left her mouth. She'd never been straightforward with anyone in her life and the scary part was that she didn't know where it had come from. Syaoran, on the other hand, shifted his eyes from Ryuu to Sakura and blinked a few times. He was surprised as well.

"Most people would take a hint and drop the topic but you, Sakura, are full of surprises," he clipped.

Heat rushed to her cheeks. Syaoran called her Sakura. Not Kinomoto – just Sakura. She wasn't sure if it had been a slip of the tongue or if he used it genuinely. She silently hoped it was genuine. The way her name sounded from his mouth was smooth like velvet. He was still staring at her, waiting for a response. His stare was intense. Everything about him was intense.

When she didn't reply, he sighed and leaned even further back into the backrest of the bench.

"You've probably already guessed but work isn't going well." He paused, and Sakura watched as he debated on whether he wanted to share more with her or not. "Three ex-employees have filed a lawsuit against the company which, if we lose, could cost the company millions in damages."

The cuticles of his nail that he had been picking at ever since he had arrived began to bleed. It was a nervous tic and as Sakura looked closer, it was clear that he was anxious a lot. Reaching out, she took his hand into hers, rubbing the back in small strokes. He was anxious about opening up to her and while she couldn't find the words, this was the only solution that was available.

"Did you find out about this today?" she asked softly.

"No," he replied with his eyes focussed on their clasped hands. "The court hearing is set for next week so my lawyers have been briefing me on the logistics of our defence but they're not confident."

She gave his hand a quick squeeze. His world was completely different to hers and things like this put that into perspective. Even in her dreams, Sakura couldn't imagine having a million dollars to lose.

"You won't know the outcome until the judge has had the final words so you need to be confident with your case and hope for the best."

The corners of his mouth quirked up. "That wasn't reassuring at all, Sakura."

A laugh escaped her lips and she pulled her hand from his grasp to cover her mouth but he quickly took it back.

"What was I supposed to say?" she mumbled with a pink tinge tainting her cheeks. He'd used her first name again. It wasn't a slip of the tongue after all.

Syaoran merely shook his head. "It's too late now." He smiled, and then stifled it. "Thanks for listening. Not many people do anymore."

It was a rare moment of vulnerability for him and it made her feel important that he was sharing it with her.

"You're welcome, Syaoran-kun," she mumbled out the words, silently hoping he didn't catch onto what she'd said.

His eyes lowered and his jaw tightened as he reached out and tugged a strand of her hair. "It has been years since anyone called me that."

"I'm sorry, I thought I could–"

"It's fine," he murmured as he pressed his thumb to her chin. "I like the sound of it."

"The sound of what?"

Syaoran quickly pulled his hand back and straightened his back at the sound of Ryuu's voice.

"Nothing," Sakura and Syaoran said at the same time. Their eyes connected and a small smile spread across both of their faces. Although, they hadn't done anything, it felt like they'd been caught doing something wrong.

Ryuu sat up and squinted at the two of them and then, he folded his arms across his chest. Something had happened but he could find out about that later.

"I want to go home."

Sakura dragged her feet down the wooden floors of her apartment until she reached the kitchen counter. The clock just ticked past nine and she had only just arrived at home. It had been a long day but she couldn't help but feel that it was worth it.

She placed the letters she'd retrieved from the mailbox on the counter and sifted through them. Grabbing two of them for herself, she picked up the remaining three letters for Tomoyo and continued down the hallway to the bedrooms.

"Tomoyo-chan?" she yelled.

Light shined from underneath Tomoyo's door told her that she was home but for whatever reason, she hadn't come out. As Sakura got closer to the door, she could hear the soft mumblings of Tomoyo's voice. She was talking to someone. Sighing, Sakura turned around and walked to her own room and placed the letters on her desk.

She fell onto her bed and palmed her closed eyes with her hands. She didn't know what to make of tonight. Syaoran had this power to make her feel things – things that she shouldn't be feeling but yet, she craved them. He made her feel important, like she was worth something. Eriol hadn't made her feel that way since the minute she met him.

He called her Sakura tonight. He held her hand tonight. He touched her face tonight. These things don't happen between friends but she knew that that's all they were and he knew that as well. But she couldn't help but feel that there was something there.

At the end of the day, she was still dating Eriol. No matter what she felt for Syaoran – or what she thought she felt for him, she couldn't do anything about it. She wouldn't do anything about it. It was cruel to Eriol. These feelings, whatever they are, will pass. Maybe it was wishful thinking but she was almost certain that she wasn't the only one feeling this. Syaoran was too or so she thought.

A soft knock rattled on her door and Tomoyo entered shortly after. She had a sort of glow to her. The kind of glow that a person has when everything in their life is going to plan.

Sakura opened her eyes and let out a yawn. "Who were you talking to?"

She didn't miss the blush creeping up on Tomoyo's cheeks. Tomoyo wasn't exactly the best at concealing her emotions but that didn't bother Sakura at all. She wanted her friends to be open with her.

"Miura-san," she replied to which Sakura quirked an eyebrow. "My new boss," Tomoyo clarified.

Checking the time on her phone, Sakura frowned. "You're talking to your boss at nine o'clock at night?"

Tomoyo nodded and folded her arms across her chest. "What's wrong with that?"

Sakura sat up on the edge of her bed and looked at Tomoyo. "Do you really not see the problem with that?"

In her short lifetime, Sakura has had worked at several places and never had she ever had to speak to her boss at this time of the night. There was never a need to. She could slightly understand if there was an emergency but Tomoyo worked at a boutique and she highly doubted whatever they were talking about concerned an emergency.

"It's not like that. He told me that I'm his new muse so he just wanted some inspiration, that's all," Tomoyo said gruffly. She had difficulty maintaining eye contact as she said those words.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "How old is this guy anyway?"

"How is that relevant?" Tomoyo retorted and this time, her face was flushed with anger.

"Why are you deflecting all of my questions?" Sakura asked. Like Tomoyo, she was beginning to get frustrated.

"Because you're acting like I'm the one having an affair!"

Silence fell upon them and only a knife could cut the tension in the room. Sakura's jaw dropped at Tomoyo's accusation.

"What do you mean by that?" She tried to conceal the hurt she was feeling but it was to no avail. She couldn't believe it.

"Come on, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo chided. "Do you really think I haven't noticed how much you've been around Li-san these days?"

It was true that Sakura had been around Syaoran a lot and Tomoyo knew bits and pieces of that but she hadn't told Tomoyo anything that could be perceived as an affair.

"I teach his son so of course, I'm going to see him a lot," Sakura rebutted.

"You and I both know that it's more than that," Tomoyo said as she stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"An affair?" Sakura questioned in a soft voice. "You know I wouldn't do that."

"Physically, probably not," Tomoyo said curtly. "But emotional affairs exist and I think you're guilty of that."

Sakura blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. Having accusations like this from someone she considered to be her best friend was hard to swallow.

"If you truly think that then you can keep your opinion to yourself," Sakura said without looking at Tomoyo. At this stage, it was hard to even look in her direction.

Tomoyo rolled her eyes. "Same goes to you," she huffed and slammed the door on her way out.

Sakura fell onto her back and hugged her pillow tightly to her chest. It was the first fight they'd ever had and of course, it was over boys. She wanting to laugh at the cliché but she couldn't. The things Tomoyo had said to her hurt and while she was positive Tomoyo had only said them in the heat of the moment, she couldn't help but question if they held any truth to them. The fact that Tomoyo didn't even bother to listen and hear her side made her more infuriated but then, perhaps Tomoyo didn't need to hear her side at all.

One thing that was nagging Sakura was the fact that Tomoyo was so defensive. There was clearly something she wasn't telling her. Maybe she was embarrassed about it or even ashamed – Sakura had no idea what provoked Tomoyo to act so abrasively. All she could do now was hope that Tomoyo would tell her when she was ready. They may have fought today but a friendship wouldn't be a friendship without a few fights here and there. They'll get over it, or so she hoped so. But for now, she squeezed her pillow even closer.

An emotional affair? Is that what people called whatever she was feeling? Sakura brushed it aside. She hadn't done anything and no one even knew about these feelings in the first place. She was fine – innocent, even. It wouldn't be an affair until she acted upon it and she promised herself that she wouldn't.

Sakura rolled over onto the other side of the bed. The photo frame with her mother's picture was in her line of sight on the bedside table. Sakura smiled. Her mother was beautiful.

"What am I doing?" she asked the picture. It wouldn't reply – it couldn't reply but Sakura found comfort in asking her mother. She'd been doing this ever since she was a child. Whenever there was a question to be asked and she couldn't ask her brother or father, she asked her mother. As if her mother would magically send her some sort of message or sign of what to do.

She stared long and hard at the picture. Waiting for a response that wouldn't come and when it didn't come, she stood up and turned off the light.

As her eyes fluttered shut, she whispered into the darkness, "I never wanted to hurt anyone."

Syaoran stretched his arms above his head and let out a long yawn. After the long day he'd had, he should've been in bed by now but instead, he was at his desk working until his eyes started to bleed. If he had shut his eyes, even for a tiny bit, he could've fallen asleep right then and there but the bing from his laptop quickly brought him back to his reality.

He rubbed the scruff on his chin and returned back to the screen. It was another email from the branch in China. Work was starting to pile up leading up to the end of the year and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stay on top of it all. Everyone thought it was an easy job. That, instead of doing all the work he was doing, he was eating at fancy restaurants or out partying on yachts. That sort of life was reserved for people who were satisfied with less than the best. He was a perfectionist at heart and his company, that his family built from the ground up, deserved the best.

If he hadn't gone on the excursion to the museum the other day or if he hadn't joined Sakura during her run, then maybe he wouldn't have so much to catch up on. But that day was one of the best days he has had in years. He wouldn't deny that. The things she said to him made him forget about his life, about work, about Kimi. It was as if he was his old self again.

He couldn't afford to do that anymore. He couldn't rely on Sakura to bring back his happiness. It wasn't fair to her or to himself. Not to mention that she wasn't even available. Eriol would hate him even more than he did already. Nothing good will ever come to him. He learned that the day Kimi passed away.

Syaoran opened his desk's drawer and eyed the cigarette box within it. He needed to take the edge off. To numb his brain from everything that has been happening. He needed to feel nothing again so he could feel normal, feel something. He opened the box and walked out onto the balcony.

Bringing the cigarette between his lips, he drew a deep pull and breathed the smoke into the air. He watched the skyline of Tokyo as he did every other night when he came out here. There was always something new to look out for. It was so vast and bright and instead of giving him motivation to do greater things, it made him seem small. As if he didn't matter at the end of the day. When work and life became stressful, he couldn't help but want to fade away into nothingness. What if he didn't have the job that he did have? Would he be happy? Living an ordinary life seemed like a faraway dream. A lot of people depended on him – he was a very important person to thousands of people who worked below him. But would any of them miss him if he really went away?

He blew another puff of smoke and scratched his head. He couldn't be having these thoughts. Not when Ryuu was sleeping in the room next door. No matter how much he wanted things to be different, he wouldn't do anything that would affect Ryuu. This was his burden to carry.

"Dad?"

"Fuck," Syaoran muttered under his breath as he scrunched the cigarette in his hand. An onslaught of coughs came spilling out of his mouth.

Ryuu stood inside of the office near the clear sliding door. He was in his Superman pyjamas, clutching onto the Pokémon plushie that he slept with every night. It was well and truly past his bedtime.

"You said you were going to stop," Ryuu said softly. "Mei and Eriol-kun said smoking is bad for you."

Syaoran scrubbed his forehead with his palm. Even when he was trying not to hurt Ryuu, he still did.

"I know," he said. "I'm sorry."

Walking back inside, he shut the door and sat down on the couch in his office with Ryuu. His office had become his bedroom in recent years. He couldn't bring himself to sleep on his bed in the other room – the bed he once shared with Kimi.

"Are you having nightmares again?" Syaoran asked. The nightmares had been an ongoing dilemma for Ryuu over the years. Syaoran was aware of the trauma that caused them but he wouldn't tell Ryuu until he was older. Until then, he'd been to every doctor across the country, seeking advice but he hadn't had any luck.

Ryuu nodded and held his plushie closer. "The woman was screaming and crying again," he whispered.

Syaoran's jaw hardened. He knew what Ryuu was referring to but he couldn't say anything. He couldn't explain to him why he was having these nightmares and it killed him inside. If he was given the chance to have the nightmares instead of Ryuu, he'd take them without a second thought. But not even all the money in the world could give him that. It wouldn't be of much use anyway since he had his own nightmares to deal with on the odd occasion that he managed to catch any sleep.

He let out another yawn and checked the time on his phone. Perhaps this was the sign he needed to stop working for the night.

"How about we watch some cartoons until you fall asleep?" Syaoran suggested.

"Okay," Ryuu replied.

Syaoran grabbed the blanket that was sprawled over the back of the couch and turned the television on. Most nights, he would be sleeping on this couch instead of his bed. He hadn't touched that bed in years but the sheets were washed and changed every week by Mei. Even after all these years, he couldn't bring himself to sleep on that bed alone. Ryuu moved closer to Syaoran's side so they could both fit under the blanket.

He could feel his eyelids getting heavier and heavier after only a few minutes. He was exhausted and that didn't surprise him one bit. He had been working nonstop for days and whenever he did get some shut-eye, it was either a 20-minute nap or a longer, fitful nap interrupted by a nightmare.

"Do you like Kinomoto-sensei?" Ryuu asked. His voice was tired and it sounded like he was just on the verge of passing out.

The question had Syaoran wide awake again. Of course, he liked Sakura but he didn't know to what extent.

"Of course," Syaoran replied. "Why do you ask?"

"You called her Sakura tonight," Ryuu said in between his yawns. "You never call anyone by their first name unless they're family."

He had to give it to Ryuu. He was observant as hell for a child but it reminded him of himself when he was young. Though, if Ryuu had heard him call her Sakura then, he would've heard everything else as well. Turns out he's good at pretending to be asleep.

"First names aren't restricted to family, you know that," Syaoran said.

"I know but you never do that," Ryuu argued. He emphasised the you and it was true. Close business partners and employees he worked with regularly always insisted that he called them by their first names because they'd known each other for years. He always refused though. He never felt comfortable around anyone except for his family and now, Sakura.

Syaoran ran his fingers through his hair. He had to come up with some excuse to get out of this one or Ryuu will start to get ideas.

"She's Eriol's girlfriend so she's close to our family," Syaoran said. "Don't you like her?"

Ryuu's head fell onto his arm. "No, I like her," he whispered. "I like her a lot."

A soft smile spread across Syaoran's face as he looked down at Ryuu who had passed out.

"Me too."

A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know if there are any mistakes. Feedback and comments are welcome.

Sensitive topics have been touched in this chapter. If you are feeling depressed, please seek help. There are plenty of people and resources out there to listen to you. My inbox will always be open for every single one of you.

I've tried to put more information/explanation about what the characters are feeling/thinking. It's difficult to do in third person but I've tried my best. Do you like how this chapter was written or would you prefer something else? Let me know!

Thanks for the new follows and for the reviews! Also thank you all for the well wishes for my family member. It means a lot.

Kurakura: Basically, Sakura is aware that she's feeling something for Syaoran and she knows she shouldn't because she's with Eriol. For Syaoran though, he realises that Sakura makes him happy but I don't necessarily think happiness = love. I think it'll take a bit more time for them to come around to the idea.

Kate: Thanks! I have about a dozen ideas for a new SxS fic but I already know I don't have the time to write all of them. If I do start another one, I'll let everyone reading this one know first.

PazWaldorf: Thanks! I'm glad you're liking the story. I'd love to what your thoughts are on this chapter and what you think will happen in the next couple of chapters 😊

Mimi: I wanted Syaoran to appear a bit jealous when Eriol and Sakura were talking on the phone. You saw in this chapter that he feels selfish for viewing Sakura as his source of happiness. The phone call with Eriol was basically a wake up call for him to "back off". I've made Syaoran a few years older than Sakura so he should be around 28/29. You'll find out the reason for his young marriage when you find out about his backstory with Kimi. I gave a little teaser of what happened to Kimi in this chapter, did you notice it?

James Birdsong: Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying these chapters 😊

aleph-vody: I've been writing a lot more these days so hopefully, I'll be updating more often. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so far! What did you think about what happened in this chapter? 😊