11
In all reality, Steve knew Bucky liked pancakes (even if Bucky himself didn't know that) and he wanted to coax him out. Get him to sit at the kitchen table. Maybe talk a little more. Do something other than stare at the wall.
Peggy stood and began helping him. He asked her where she'd gone and she told him she'd missed him and teased him and Steve felt a little bit of stress that he hadn't known was there leave his heart when she smiled playfully at him.
"Does he know?" Peggy asked after a quiet moment. Steve was pouring batter onto a hot skillet and he glanced up at her questioningly. "The diagnosis," she said and he sighed heavily. He barred the onslaught of emotions from his heart. He was getting good at it.
"No," he said.
"When are you going to tell him?" Peggy asked. Steve watched bubbles pop on the cooking pancake. He swallowed.
"I hadn't really gotten that far, you know," he said. "I'm kind of taking this one day at a time-if that." He flipped the pancake. Peggy leaned over the stovetop and kissed him on the corner of his lips. "Would you tell him to come out here?" He asked.
"I think he'd respond better to you," she said.
"He knows you just as well as he knows me just as well as he knows anyone," Steve said exhaustedly. Although he'd just woken up he felt like he'd been awake for days. "Which is to say, not at all."
"When I said we'd make this right, Steve, I meant it," Peggy said. Steve handed her his spatula and walked into the bedroom.
Bucky hadn't moved from his position pressing his face into the mattress. Steve walked over and knelt down on his side of the bed. Bucky's right arm was laying over the pillow that was laying on his face and Steve picked up one corner and pulled it up a little.
"Buck, are you in there?" He asked. "I made breakfast." He heard Bucky take in a deep breath and let it out and then he started to shift, pulling himself up. Steve got another good look at his left arm. Bucky's face was red and he had lines from the pillow pressed into his cheek. His hair was disheveled. "You ready for this?" Steve asked and in response, Bucky only tossed the sheets off of himself and swung his legs down. "I made pancakes," Steve said, trying to get some sort of response out of him, anything, but Bucky avoided his eyes.
Steve felt like he was begging, but he didn't know what else to say.
Before Bucky left the bedroom, he looked at Steve.
"There are no open windows in there?" He asked.
"Course not, Buck," Steve replied. Bucky wet his lips anxiously and nodded and allowed Steve to continue herding him into the kitchen.
At the table, they ate over silence.
"We need to think of a plan," Peggy said quietly. Steve glanced over at Bucky, who was inhaling his pancakes.
"Buck, you need to start telling us when you're hungry instead of just waiting until you're starving," Steve said.
"These are really good," Bucky replied with a full mouth.
"Thanks, I made them myself," Steve said and then allowed himself to crack a bit of a smile. "Peggy says her pancakes are better, but you've got to agree that mine are the best. I put vanilla in there, you know." Bucky had his head ducked over his plate and was looking up at him and Steve saw him crack the smallest smile as well. A split second of normalcy.
"Peggy will make hers sometime and you can tell us which is the best, okay?" Steve said.
"Okay," Bucky said.
"But you gotta vote for me, alright," Steve continued and Bucky's smile widened just a little.
"Okay," he said again.
"Hold on, that's cheating," Peggy said and Steve looked at her, his smile almost full-blown by now.
"Come on, Pegs, give me something here, you beat me at everything else," he teased and she smiled at him. He knew her, he could tell she wanted to bring up the plan again, but she was holding it back. Bucky was almost smiling! This was monumental.
They talked lightly for a few more minutes until Steve remembered that he had a long series of pills to take and his mood fell a little.
Then Peggy asked Bucky how he'd slept and he muttered some comment about how the headaches made it hard for him to sleep and Steve got up and took a few trips to bring back a second plate of pancakes and the bottle of tylenol for Bucky and the box of medications for himself.
After breakfast, Steve and Peggy had to figure out what to do about work. Peggy had gone into the bedroom to change and after a minute, Steve followed her and left Bucky at the kitchen table where he was turning the bottle of tylenol in his fingers thoughtlessly.
Steve shut the bedroom door behind him. Peggy was pulling her nightgown up over her head and she tossed it on the unmade bed behind her. Steve walked over to the closet next to her and leaned up against the wall and watched her clip on her bra.
"What are we going to do?" He asked quietly.
"About what, in specifically?" Peggy asked and she pulled a skirt on.
"Well, first, work," he said.
"You didn't go yesterday," Peggy said, looking through shirts. Steve let out a breath.
"Of course you know about that," Steve said and his jaw ticked. Peggy hesitated for a second and her eyes flickered over to Steve. For a second it seemed as though she didn't know what to say. Then, she said, "Steve."
"No, I didn't go yesterday. Bucky was here and I couldn't just leave him," Steve said.
"I'm not accusing you," Peggy said. Steve stared at the ground angrily.
"He needs someone to help him. He gets disoriented," Steve said.
"You don't have to defend yourself," Peggy continued.
"I'm not," Steve said.
"You are," Peggy replied. Steve glared and looked up.
"I said I'm not," he said and he didn't mean to, but he raised his voice a little. Peggy looked at him, her eyes hurt and they searched his face and Steve took another deep breath. "I'm-" he started.
"No, stop," Peggy interrupted him and she grabbed a blouse out of the closet and put her arms through it. "You don't have to apologize. You've been tense ever since I got back, I understand."
"I shouldn't take it out on you," Steve said. Peggy started to button up her blouse.
"You're overwhelmed," Peggy said. Steve swallowed and nodded. He looked at her.
"I didn't even get to welcome you properly," he said.
"That's true," Peggy said.
"I've been too busy being rude," Steve added and Peggy smiled a little at him.
"It's not too late to welcome me," she said and Steve grinned back. He started to lean in and Peggy stepped away teasingly. She scooped her shoes up from off the floor and sat on the bed and started to strap them on. Steve followed her and knelt down to his knees in front of her slowly. He took the shoe from her with one hand and reached up with the other to pull her towards him and meet her lips. The tips of her curls brushed his face and he twisted his fingers gently around the hair at the nape of her neck. She spread out her fingers on his face and neck and he leaned in closer, leaning over her folded knees. He dropped the shoe to the floor and used his free hand to place on her waist.
Peggy wrapped her fingers around the collar of Steve's shirt and pulled him and he followed her. They stumbled together backwards onto the bed, Steve fumbling and tripping and he grabbed Peggy's shoulders to balance himself as they tumbled. She laughed and pecked kisses on his lips as they rearranged themselves onto the bed. He could feel the stress slowly start to fade away, just a little bit, as he kissed his way down Peggy's neck and shared silly laughter with her.
"Don't go to work today," Peggy said as Steve was halfway down her neck, her hands under his shirt, her breath on his cheek. He hesitated for half a second and kept going.
He wanted to respond, but he didn't know what to say. He hated missing work, but Bucky needed him.
His lips brushed her skin and he thought about it for a second.
It wasn't really a decision. Work or Bucky. He'd already made that choice a long time ago.
"Don't let them count it as one of my sick days," Steve said between kisses. "Cover for me."
"Of course," Peggy said.
They both knew Peggy didn't have much time left before she had to leave, so they pulled away from each other reluctantly. Peggy finished dressing and Steve changed into a clean pair of clothes and he kissed her goodbye in front of the door and a few minutes after she'd left, he dashed into the bathroom and started vomiting into the toilet.
Hi everyone! Thank you for reading 'Anything to Keep You'! I hope you've been liking it so far !
I'm posting a note to let everyone know that for this next week, I'm going to be traveling. I'm going to attempt to keep posting as much as I can, but it'll be complicated, so I'm sorry in advance for the interruption!
-BlitheBells