Weeeekly upppppdaaate, hurrr it izzz! Thanks for reading though, hope you enjoy.

Marvel Munchies

Chapter 11

"Ragghh! This sucks!" The mutant zombie Toad struggled to hop forwards, his hands and feet having been handcuffed through each other, making any productive movement nearly impossible. "I haven't eaten anybody in two whole days! When I get outta these chains, the first thing I'm gonna do is hunt down those two guys and rip out their-"

HOOOOONK! HONK! HONK! HOOOOONK!

Toad turned to the direction of the blaring car horn and witnessed a cloud of dust trailing behind the slick white form of the Bluntmobile, coming directly towards him at no less than 100 miles per hour.

"YO! THERE HE IS LUNCHBOX! LET'S FUCKIN' GET 'IM!" Chronic stood up in the open-topped vehicle, his boot planted on the dashboard, and activated his blunt-saber.

"Are you friggin' kidding me!?" the plague infected mutant exclaimed in disbelief as he tried to stumble away faster. He suddenly heard car tires screech behind him.

"Watch this Tons-of-Fun, I'm about to go all Inglorious Basterds on this slimy little bitch. Hey!" Chronic kicked Toad onto his back and pointed the red beam of his blunt-saber at the mutant. "You like killin' Jews?"

"What!? No man! I'm not prejudiced against anyone! I've never been!"

"I AM THE BEAR JEW!" Chronic shouted powerfully as he began slamming the laser blade repeatedly down onto the restrained, screaming, zombified Toad. Bluntman shook his head side-to-side as he walked up to the violent scene, knowing that the quote; 'I am the bear Jew' was never said in the film Inglorious Basterds. "Yo, you want in on this action, ol' chum?" Chronic asked, taking a short break from the brutality. Bluntman shrugged and nodded his head, then switched on his own blunt-saber, and started to take swings at twitching zombie body.

"Why are you showing me this?" The Silver Surfer asked as he and the two demon heralds of Galactus hovered high in the sky, overlooking the burning city of Los Angeles, now in the midst of being terrorized by the cannibalistic superhuman horde. Explosions popped up across the landscape at regular intervals, mobs of people stampeded away from lone attackers, and blood laid splattered across most streets and sidewalks.

"Have you ever seen this kind of madness and destruction?" Bartleby asked solemnly, observing and sensing the mental agonies coming from the terror down below. "The inhabitants of Earth were strong before, some possessing a wide range of amazing abilities and powers, but now, all they're concerned with is their hunger…"

"You knew this was happening on your world, demon! Why did you not mention this earlier?" the metallic herald had now assumed a defensive posture, and was poised to attack with an energy blast. Loki snapped to attention and had his Flaming Sword readied in a half a second, Bartleby held his arm out, holding his partner back.

"I needed you to see for yourself, Norrin Radd," Bartleby replied, looking upon the Silver Surfer calmly. "I needed to show you the planet that could finally take on Galactus." The surfer silently stared at the fallen angel for a moment in disbelief.

"You think that these monsters can defeat a being that has consumed hundreds of worlds? Do you understand that entire fleets of space vessels have tried to defend themselves against Galactus and FAILED?"

"He won't be expecting such a fight, and there are people here who are easily capable of that kind of destruction…" Bartleby explained.

"You're admitting your betrayal to my master, demon…"

"Aw lawdy! Massa wouldn't like you talkin' like that Toby!" Loki interjected in a mock-southern slave voice.

"I'm proposing a way to help you escape your bondage, Surfer."

"And what is your motivation in bringing Galactus here?" The Silver Surfer asked suspiciously.

"I wish to put an end to this bloodshed on Earth, and a force like his will be able to eliminate a large portion of the infected." Bartleby turned his back on the city. "I also believe Galactus will have expended enough energy in this fight to become vulnerable for a short time."

The Silver Surfer stood on his board, thinking to himself.

"He destroyed everything I loved on Zenn-La…" he said coldly, memories of his former life swimming through his thoughts.

"I know, Norrin…" Bartleby replied sympathetically. The Silver Surfer turned his head to the former angels, and after a moment, without warning, aimed the front tip of his cosmic board upwards and shot up into the atmosphere.

"You think he's gonna fuck us over?" Loki asked, watching the surfer soar away.

"I can't see the future my friend." Bartleby stated. "All I can do light the fuse and hope for the best…"

Steve-Dave marched down the road, thirsty, injured, and almost completely delusional.

"Gotta get me some padded leather armor. Maybe put some spikes on the shoulders… gonna ride around in a truck with a bumper made of nails and broken glass..." Just then he heard a sound from overhead. Steve-Dave looked up to see the vapor trail from a rocketing object flying through the sky. The trail began to curve back, and appeared to be descending on the lone, crazed traveler. In no time, with a dust scattering landing, the yellow and red form of Iron Man appeared before Steve-Dave.

"Well, well, my intuition serves me as usual," The man once known as Tony Stark said menacingly, the thrusters on his suit cooling from the flight. "I was just about to fly over to Europe to begin feeding on people over there, but I thought I'd double back first to check for stragglers." Iron Man's helmet had a jagged shape cut out of the mouth area in order to make his flesh consumption easier. It was because of this that Steve-Dave could more easily see the greedy sneer on the former billionaire hero's face .

"So you're one of them too huh?" The exhausted comic shop owner muttered, looking the armored zombie up and down. "Tell ya what, let's make a deal." Steve-Dave suggested desperately. "If you team up with me, we'll have the entire country dominated in a matter of months, zero bullshit. I have the organizational skills, and managerial experience to have this whole fuckin' world under our thumb in no time! What do you think Stark? You can't afford not to…" Steve-Dave held his arms out, presenting his offer.

"Oh man… I really like it better when they just scream and run away." Iron Man commented, putting his palm on his face. "Now are you gonna stand still while I eat you, or am I going to have to chase you?"

For the first time in his life, Steve-Dave had a moment of clarity. He realized that he should have treated those closest to him better. It had occurred to him that he hadn't spoken to his mother in a while, and he felt bad about it. He also remembered that he would never get to watch any more new episodes of Game of Thrones.

"I'll just lay down," Steve-Dave said detachedly, with a glazed look in his eyes. "I think I've done enough here…" And with that, Iron Man pounced forward using his boot-boosters, and began to eat Steve-Dave, bones and all. It took Tony Stark less than 7 minutes to consume the man completely. Within that time, a copious amount of screaming and gargling could be heard.

"Thanks for the snack pal." Iron Man said, standing up from the pile of gore. "But man, these guys from Jersey taste weird…" and with that, he lifted off and flew east.

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