we were gonna live, you and I, we were gonna live long and wild and out our whole lives, we were gonna take this damn world as out our own, but you broke it- you broke the pact, lied to me, and I'm left alone in the wreckage of this love and there's nothing left but fire and ash and death. Now you're in the ground and I'm standing here by the spot, I can smell your singed hair in the ash-laden air, imagine little flecks of cloth on your skin burning as you burst through the atmosphere- wings of flame, laughing out loud as your vocal cords still work.
I can see your bones burning to powder, raining down on me as the little ash-flakes talking all about me, the deadest of snowflakes. Little spirits charred beyond all recognition- a black rain, as the twisted bits of metal fall from the sky.
I never imagined it would be like this.
Ever.
All that's left of you is the ash I'm walking through, and the pounding pain in my heart- I tried to warn you. I told you it wasn't safe, but you went up anyway- and I'm standing by the hole and They try to pretend you're down there but I know you're not, you're still going through the sky, flying alive and free, as dead as a doornail and twice as sharp. You're digging into my heart, a hammer of ash and devastated shrapnel- driving deeper and deeper into my heart, freezing it from ever feeling- from ever knowing or experiencing this thing known as love again. My heart died when you disappeared in a flurry of light and smoke and magic.
And I'm standing here by the hole in the ground and I know you're not down there and I'm curious who is- there's a coffin, there's a crater, but it's not you in there love- I know it and you know it and we all know it but me.
I don't know where you are.
And the hole in the ground's empty save for dirt- there's no coffin at all and it's all a madness medley of fireworks and magic and plane crashes and a flurry of ashflakes like snow in hell.
My name is nothing.
I know you're not down there. I loved you, I really did. But I'm Nothing and all I know is nothing and noone can tell me whether or not that's really you down there because it can't be. I loved you.
If you were dead I would have seen you- I live in a little part of hell, I'm a lonely son of a bitch and I know you're there, I can see your hair floating by me in little disgusting trails of incense laced with poison made from forget-me-not perfume.
I have no name. I'm not even nothing. I'm-
That's all. There's an itch in my leg but I ignore it- the tremble in this hollow soul of mine calls out foe deamons and madness.
I can see your alabaster skin turn black as the fire wraps around you, flaking you away into so many specks of ash.
I can do anything- I move mountains and destroy monsters and kill all sorts of beats- we fly and we take over the world and we kill the good guy and get the girl, but we can't stop a single crashing plane.
Why you were on that damned thing in the first place I don't know love- I could have taken you. But you wanted to go, you wanted us to be more normal, so I gave in- but the fire didn't kill me even as it consumed you. I couldn't move fast enough when the engine failed- I could already smell you burning up in the atmosphere and the chaos- hear mothers screaming for their children as my alabaster lover burned away into nothing, into stinking rotted hair and forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts and all manner of other little flowers with morbid names and morbid memories- nightshade, posies, black roses and sunflowers. bright happiness, a deeper agony and stench that swarms my brain-
I can see your eyes evaporating, falling away into ash and chalk and all manner of madness lover.
I loved you.
Noone else understood us- noone else tried to, because we were different- I can see you burning, hear you say my name, thought it never passed those beautiful lips- my angel, my beautiful angel- ash floats around us like feathers in the haze of smoke and babies and technology all blown to bits by a simple technical problem.
I damn them to hell and stand here by this hole in the ground and wonder if you're really in there.
I am an empty shell awaiting your re-arrival and wishing you would come back to love me but I know that death is death this time and you're not coming back to me anymore. And the agony is of the exquisite kind- a perfect torture a true madness screaming at me through all angles of the day and night as the ash rains down around us like snow that's rising straight out of hell.
And this is the way the world ends for me and I'm left standing here with no words and no eyes and no lips and lots of pain cause I've been trapped by tragedy and emptied into nothing at all, my own little sarcophagus that little love and less sense because the cat's crying for you love she misses the way you'd stroke her back and coo at her and all in that little voice.
I miss the way you'd fight with me and kick me in the back and bitch at me.
I can smell your fire wings as they're enveloping you like sulfur acid burns at paper left in a flame. I'm tired of this outside and inside but I don't know what else to say, so I crawl into the hole you left and climb back up.
I'm cold and lonely and tired smelling you rotten flesh and crying into my hands.
9:46 PM 10/30/03
I can see your bones burning to powder, raining down on me as the little ash-flakes talking all about me, the deadest of snowflakes. Little spirits charred beyond all recognition- a black rain, as the twisted bits of metal fall from the sky.
I never imagined it would be like this.
Ever.
All that's left of you is the ash I'm walking through, and the pounding pain in my heart- I tried to warn you. I told you it wasn't safe, but you went up anyway- and I'm standing by the hole and They try to pretend you're down there but I know you're not, you're still going through the sky, flying alive and free, as dead as a doornail and twice as sharp. You're digging into my heart, a hammer of ash and devastated shrapnel- driving deeper and deeper into my heart, freezing it from ever feeling- from ever knowing or experiencing this thing known as love again. My heart died when you disappeared in a flurry of light and smoke and magic.
And I'm standing here by the hole in the ground and I know you're not down there and I'm curious who is- there's a coffin, there's a crater, but it's not you in there love- I know it and you know it and we all know it but me.
I don't know where you are.
And the hole in the ground's empty save for dirt- there's no coffin at all and it's all a madness medley of fireworks and magic and plane crashes and a flurry of ashflakes like snow in hell.
My name is nothing.
I know you're not down there. I loved you, I really did. But I'm Nothing and all I know is nothing and noone can tell me whether or not that's really you down there because it can't be. I loved you.
If you were dead I would have seen you- I live in a little part of hell, I'm a lonely son of a bitch and I know you're there, I can see your hair floating by me in little disgusting trails of incense laced with poison made from forget-me-not perfume.
I have no name. I'm not even nothing. I'm-
That's all. There's an itch in my leg but I ignore it- the tremble in this hollow soul of mine calls out foe deamons and madness.
I can see your alabaster skin turn black as the fire wraps around you, flaking you away into so many specks of ash.
I can do anything- I move mountains and destroy monsters and kill all sorts of beats- we fly and we take over the world and we kill the good guy and get the girl, but we can't stop a single crashing plane.
Why you were on that damned thing in the first place I don't know love- I could have taken you. But you wanted to go, you wanted us to be more normal, so I gave in- but the fire didn't kill me even as it consumed you. I couldn't move fast enough when the engine failed- I could already smell you burning up in the atmosphere and the chaos- hear mothers screaming for their children as my alabaster lover burned away into nothing, into stinking rotted hair and forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts and all manner of other little flowers with morbid names and morbid memories- nightshade, posies, black roses and sunflowers. bright happiness, a deeper agony and stench that swarms my brain-
I can see your eyes evaporating, falling away into ash and chalk and all manner of madness lover.
I loved you.
Noone else understood us- noone else tried to, because we were different- I can see you burning, hear you say my name, thought it never passed those beautiful lips- my angel, my beautiful angel- ash floats around us like feathers in the haze of smoke and babies and technology all blown to bits by a simple technical problem.
I damn them to hell and stand here by this hole in the ground and wonder if you're really in there.
I am an empty shell awaiting your re-arrival and wishing you would come back to love me but I know that death is death this time and you're not coming back to me anymore. And the agony is of the exquisite kind- a perfect torture a true madness screaming at me through all angles of the day and night as the ash rains down around us like snow that's rising straight out of hell.
And this is the way the world ends for me and I'm left standing here with no words and no eyes and no lips and lots of pain cause I've been trapped by tragedy and emptied into nothing at all, my own little sarcophagus that little love and less sense because the cat's crying for you love she misses the way you'd stroke her back and coo at her and all in that little voice.
I miss the way you'd fight with me and kick me in the back and bitch at me.
I can smell your fire wings as they're enveloping you like sulfur acid burns at paper left in a flame. I'm tired of this outside and inside but I don't know what else to say, so I crawl into the hole you left and climb back up.
I'm cold and lonely and tired smelling you rotten flesh and crying into my hands.
9:46 PM 10/30/03