PERHAPS ONE DAY

Can we get a big WooHoo! for reaching 100 reviews on this story? I never thought that that would happen for this little ditty of random tags. I am very glad that it did though, and I am not sure that this would be what it is today without the support from every single one of my readers. So, thank you. This is for you. :]

Title: Waiting for forever.

Rating: K

Pairing: Tony/Ziva

Warning: Tags to Defiant. If you haven't yet seen it I suggest holding off a bit.

Summary: It scares her, the thought that things might change in a heartbeat. She really hates change, that is why she does everything in her power to keep things the same.

AN: This is very slow moving, but I feel that it needs to be to capture the true TIVA essence that is happening right now. I hope you all agree.

Disclaimer: Disclaim this!

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She is nervous, and she really isn't sure why. Her stomach is wrought with tightening coils of apprehension, and her throat quivers because of this untold tension. She knows this feeling; she has felt it many times before. Each time disastrous results followed, and she hopes that this time is different.

It was because of this that she felt that unnatural fear swim within her gut. It never failed that just when she finally got herself completely that something would come to take that away from her. It always seemed to happen to her when she caught a glimpse of happiness.

Change is something that she does not wish to endure, at least not anytime soon. She has been through her fair share already, and in such a short amount of time. She just wants stability for a while. She knows that that is more than she should ask for.

It is just that never before has she held the sort of stable lifestyle like the one she is currently living in. She doesn't want to have to give it up. She is not sure that she will ever be ready to if she is honest with herself. She has been given a glimpse of that proverbial paradise, and she is grateful for it. She may not always show it, but she truly is.

"How long do you think that this will last?" she asks. She can't bring herself to look at him, because there is always a chance that he is not feeling the same way that she is. For her that is a risk that is far too big for her to take.

There is silence that seems to resonate around the room and it nearly suffocates her. He only holds his tongue if he knows she isn't going to like what he is going to say. She can appreciate that to some extent, but it mainly just makes her to get frustrated.

"Tony!" Her voice is sharp, holding a blunt edge of desperation because she has had this conversation once already. She didn't get the answer she wanted then, she can only hope that things are different now.

"I can't really say." His voice is soft, and it causes her to turn in order to completely look at him because she has to see what he looks like. His head is bowed and she can't really see his eyes. She wants to see his eyes. She knows she will see something telling there. She wants the truth, no matter what form it comes in.

"How much longer will you be here?" The words bite at the air, making the duo uncomfortable as it hovers over their heads. She wouldn't take them back though, because it's something that has been gnawing at her since that day he declined that team in Rota, Spain all those years ago.

He looks up at her, his eyes vulnerable and confused. That is where she sees her answer, and she sees that things might be changing before she wants them too. "I don't know."

She nods jerkily, her throat tightening in an annoying sort of way that causes her breath to hitch. She looks down at her hands, flicking her finger across her nail as she wipes at the smooth gloss that lays there. "So you are just waiting for something better to come along then, yes?" She is no longer talking about jobs, and she is no longer talking about him leaving for some place new. She knows this, and she kind of hopes that he does too.

The question was somewhat rhetorical, but she still wants an answer. When he doesn't give one right away she gets even more nervous than she was before, and her stomach curls into an uncomfortable tightness that has her subtly leaning over in order to relieve it.

"Just say it," she demands. Her words are back to that hard tone that feels like she is spitting needles, but it's how she has protected herself for years. She doesn't plan on giving that up now.

The sigh he heaves sounds ten times louder than it truly is. It flips across the air between them, and lands on her desk like the weight that sits in the room. She cannot truly decipher the emotion he is currently feeling, that alone tells her something she doesn't want to accept.

"No," he says. His words are simple, and when she looks up at him he is staring at her so intently that she feels like he is actually touching her soul. It is something that she has never felt with anyone other than him. "I'm not waiting for something better." He is repeating her words because it draws out the time. She wonders what he is going to throw at her next. "I am simply waiting."

A beat passes. Then two. It drags on for so long, that minutes go by and her 'for what' clings helplessly to her tongue. She can't ask that question for reasons that she feels are far too obvious. His words could be crushing, and she strongly feels that they would cause change. She is beginning to hate that word.

"Me too," she says instead. She feels like she is settling. It is a feeling she has tasted often in her life, and she knows that it is warranted. She lives a dangerous life, yet when it comes to matters of her heart she is not known for taking risks.

He nods once like he understands her, and she really wishes that he did. She wishes that he knew how she felt about him, and why she acted why she acted.

"I guess we'll just have to wait together then." His words warm her heart, and she nods at him with her acceptance.

They will wait together, until she can bring herself to tell him the truth that sits untouched in her heart. The longer they can remain together she feels hopeful.

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So, I basically wanted that conversation between Ziva and McGee to take place between Tony and Ziva as well. This is my take on how that would happen.

I had hoped to finish this last week, and then get up Kill Screen's tag before this week's episode aired. I got sick Friday of last week and it messed up my entire schedule. I am still pretty sick, but I hope to get things all caught up by next week. Even with the thought of finals looming on the horizon.

Reviews would be lovely.