Chapter Eleven The Time-turner
Harry stood in the shadow of the castle entryway and watched the figures moving towards the entrance. He hid beneath the invisibility cloak and kept his silence until two of them parted and left the one alone. He knew who it was.
He watched Hermione walk slowly toward the castle, her head hanging down. He had never seen her look so forlorn and desolate and his heart went out to her even though he had stood in the cold and waited for almost an hour. He had been angry about her deceptions and worried about her strange behavior. He had rehearsed what he had wanted to say to her; how she had lied to him, had avoided him. Now, it all seemed a waste of time. The words he had intended to say were gone.
"Hermione," he whispered.
She stopped, gasped, and grabbed at her chest in shock and surprise. She just as quickly had her wand up and in his face.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he said quickly and pulled the hood back. "It's me."
"Harry," she snapped, "I could have hurt you badly. What are you doing!" She was clearly angry.
"I could ask you the same thing," he muttered back, clenching his teeth against his own sudden anger. "I recognized Mrs. Weasley and Lupin. I'm sure there were others. What have you been up to?"
She stared at him and then flew into his arms and began to sob hysterically. He was so bewildered by the sudden action that he lost his balance and almost toppled to the ground with her on top of him. He did, however, manage to brace himself against a pillar and hold her steady. It had never been easy for him to understand girls. Even Hermione had been a mystery to him at times. He credited her for being able to explain herself more openly than others and had been thankful for it. Now he waited until the torrent of tears and sobs seemed to ease. All he could do was hold her and pat her and hope that no one came by to hear the noise. Especially not Snape, he thought. The ugly git had taken to patrolling the grounds at odd hours and had made his trips around the castle at night difficult.
She finally seem to master her emotions and stepped back enough so that he felt he could let go. They stood very close and he looked down into her face. He was grateful that he had grown enough over the summer to do it. There was a nice advantage to being taller, it actually even made him feel like her protector.
"Can you talk about it?" he asked, glancing quickly around. It was a moonless night and it was a cold night. The snow that had fallen days before glittered like blue diamonds and the air was crisp. Having stood for so long he could hardly feel his feet and the shadows were long and very dark. It was not a good place to be.
The tears that glittered on her cheeks made him shiver. He reached over and wiped her cheek with his fingertips and she burst into sobs and grabbed at his hand, holding it tightly and then bending forward and burying her face in his chest.
"Ohhh, Har...Har...Harreeeee," she moaned into his cloak.
He stood and wrapped his arms around her again and began to slowly move her towards the entrance. "Hermione we need to get inside. It's cold. And," he leaned over and pulled the invisibility cloak around both of them, "we need to be quiet."
She looked up startled and almost angry and then crowded under the cloak and nodded. The two of them entered the castle and headed towards the Common Room. The hallways seemed deserted of even the ghosts and Peeves. They hurried towards Gryffindor Tower.
---------------------------
They sat in the Gryffindor Common Room and stared at one another. It was now three in the morning and Hermione had just finished talking. She had told him almost everything leaving out only her feelings for him and the contents of the oath she had just taken to become a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He looked at her and then at the cold embers of the fire and then at her again without speaking.
There was a faint popping noise and they both were up and had their wands out before they realized that it was a diminutive figure standing near the portrait hole and it had long wiggling ears.
"Dobby?" Harry gasped.
"It's is Dobby, sir," the elf answered.
"What are you doing, Dobby?" Harry asked as they both lowered their wands.
"We are here Harry Potter to clean the fireplace and start the fire anew. It is late in the night and this is when we does our work, sir. Is there something Harry Potter needs from Dobby?" The elf inched into the room and waited anxiously.
"Nothing Dobby. You just startled us." He nodded towards Hermione. "Don't let us keep you from your work."
The elf nodded and moved to the fireplace where he began to sweep away cold ashes and arrange wood into a heap where it would roar to life and warm the room for the morning. Harry and Hermione sat back down and watched him.
"What do you think we ought to do?" Harry asked.
"I don't know," she answered, shaking her head in misery. "I've made a mess of things and I just seem to keep digging the hole deeper. None of this feels right, Harry, maybe because I interfered too much. But no one is acting right. They are not themselves. At least not the people they were in my own time. " She shook her head when he glanced sideways at her. "It's too hard to explain. Hopping around in time just makes things worse." She started to tear again and said, "Of course, saving you and saving Dumbledore was not bad. I don't mean it in that way. It just feels like something dark, some dark magic is involved in using this." She fingered the time turner that still hung from the gold chain around her neck.
Harry nodded. "Death is permanent, Hermione. It wasn't meant to be something that should be fixed. It's taken me a long time to accept my parents deaths and even harder to accept Sirius', but I've come to accept it I think. Maybe I wouldn't be the person I am today if they all had survived. But I know Hermione, that if I'd had the time-turner the night that Sirius died I would have used it; I know I would have. Maybe I would have even accepted Dumbledore's death in time, I don't know since that hasn't happened yet. But again, I would have been very tempted to use that," he nodded at the jewel." I don't have to now and actually I'm really grateful for that."
"Really?" she asked, a single tear gleaming in her eye.
He nodded and fingered his wand which he still held. "Dumbledore brought me back from the dead. He used the time-turner to save my life. That's a really strange thought. You did the same when you used it during the wedding and we visited your older self. So literally I have been dead twice." He glanced at her again and tried a smile. "I need to be more careful it seems."
"Harry!" she exclaimed and ducked her head again. His weak humor had failed to cheer her and she was sobbing again.
"Hermione stop," he said and reached for her hand. " No regrets, okay? Let's just try and figure out what to do from now on. I've only just learned about the Horcruxes. It seems that we should use your knowledge and try and destroy them. I may also have a chance against Voldemort with all this new information. And Dumbledore is still alive, that's got to be important. We have time to prepare."
She continued to weep and looked up at him with red eyes and a wet face. "I can't seem to get it done Harry. I've been trying."
"Remember when I was in the Triwizard's tournament and you kept pushing me to do something and not wait?" He squeezed her hand and reached for a handkerchief that he kept in his inner pocket. He handed it to her and waited for her to dab at her face. "Remember how I tried to do it all myself? It's always better when you and Ron are helping me. I've finally figured that out. The three of us have to fix this and we have to do it soon."
She studied his hand, now resting on her own and she patted it and let go. "Yes, you're right. Maybe the three of us can do this."
He nodded and then took a deep breath and said, "Maybe it's time to get rid of that."
She looked startled and then folded the time-turner into her fist. "But Harry," her voice dropping to a whisper, "what if something should happen to you or to Dumbledore again? What..."
He cut across her and put his own hand over her fist. "Then it happens and you live with it." She was shaking her head and pulling back. "Don't you see Hermione that the temptation is too great. We can't deal with what's happening if we keep changing it every time we don't like the outcome. The old lady that you saw, the old Hermione told you to change one thing. What was it?"
Hermione held the fist against her chest protectively and raised her chin. "She said to go back to the wedding early so that you wouldn't die."
"Why?" he asked quietly. "Why do that and only that?"
Hermione dropped her head and then looked directly into his eyes and said softly, "She loved you. She loved you even as I love you now and she couldn't stand the thought that you were lost to her. She understood that if I went back and saved you it would change everything. She didn't care. She loved you."
Harry sat staring back at her and then his eyes dropped to the fist that held the time-turner.
"That's not the Hermione that I know. She would care what happened. Even if I died she would not be careless with the rest of the world." His eyes drifted to hers. "I love you too Hermione. You and Ron are my family, you are all that I have. I would willingly give my life for you. Whatever happens in our lives from now on, my feelings will never change. Can you trust that?" They were words that would have been difficult to say to anyone else and yet he found it easy to speak his heart.
Hermione eyes searched his face. She continued to clutch the time-turner against her chest and she shook her head slightly. "You don't understand what I mean..." she began.
He nodded slowly. "Yes... I do." He let the words sink in prepared to say more and knew that he wouldn't have to.
She nodded slowly and relaxed. Her hand dropped to her lap and the fist sprang open. He reached for the time-turner and felt its' heat. He was startled to discover Dobby standing at his side. The elf had been listening quietly and was staring at them with his large golf-ball size eyes. They were filled with tears.
"Dobby," Harry said and dangled the jewel before the elf's eyes. "Drop this in the fire for me will you?" he glanced over at the roaring fire that Dobby had just started.
The elf took the time-turner and walked slowly to the fire. He stopped and waited as if Harry was going to say something and when Harry nodded he dropped the jewel, chain and all into it.
Hermione gasped and seemed to push away from the fire as it roared up suddenly and consumed it.
Harry looked over and then reached for her and pulled in to him surrounding her with his arms and holding her. Footsteps sounded from behind them.
"What's this?" someone asked. It was Ron.
Harry turned his head and sent a look that was unmistakable to his friend. It said: Don't mistake what you are seeing. "Come and sit down Ron, we have a lot to tell you."