Thank you so much for all the great reviews, I know I've said this before but I'll say it again, you guys rock!!!

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I had to use all the power of my will to keep my eyes fixed on the blurry road ahead of me. But when willingness wasn't enough and my hands started to tremble with the desire of turning the car around I had to resort into physical restraint.

I forced my hands on the steering wheel; I forced them to maintain the grip even after my muscles started to protest. I knew I had to keep going, I knew I couldn't go back… I just needed to go forward and away from him, away from those haunting blue eyes.

That was the longest fifteen minutes drive of my life. It left me exhausted, aching… who would have thought that a battle against mind and heart could be so gruesome to the physical being.

My mind knew that I had to do it, but my heart couldn't understand. The heart, naïve as it is only wanted me to turn around and speed back to him, it wanted me to pick him up so that we could drive together somewhere where no one and nothing would ever find us.

But what does a heart know about the hardships of life?

Nothing, it knows nothing. It only knows what it wants to know, and mine only knows that I should have gone back to him.

If it would only be that easy… if only.

Back at the parking lot, when he was close enough for me to touch and his lips close enough for me to kiss, my heart wanted to believe that I held in the palm of my hand the future between us, it wanted to believe that if I only reached to him he would be mine and I would be his and all would be fine, we would be together.

But my mind, in its infinite wisdom took me back to reality. The choice has never been mine, it was his and he already made it.

With that in mind I kept driving, I kept moving forward and after a while I made it back to the hotel.

So here I am, packing my stuff at 3 a.m. because there's nothing more I can do at this hour that would keep my mind occupied and away from any Chris' thought. I don't want to think about him and I definitely don't want to think in what ifs.

But that's easier said than done when the only thing I can think about is the image of him standing in the parking lot as I drove away.

I shake my head as if the image of Chris would disappear with the act. This is enough! It's not healthy! I'm not going back to where I was, I was doing well and I will continue to do well.

I'll consider this last encounter as a closure to something that will never be…

I look around the room, trying to spot for anything I might have left out. I always have the impression that I'm leaving something out, so I always have to double check.

I search around until I'm confident I have everything in my bags. I think all is under control… at least when it comes to packing stuff.

I let out a broken sigh, still looking around until I see Adams' bags. I should do what Adam does; not the sleeping around mind you, that would only make things worse for me, I'm talking about bags… you see, he never unpacks, that way he knows for sure that nothing is left behind.

Ah! I know what's missing, and is not something I left behind, but something I have to return. I open one of my bags and pick Adam's book out. I already finished it; I read it as far as I could since he made such an emphasis that I should return it.

I walk to where his bags are lying open at the side of his bed and put the book in. I don't know if he will be here before I leave so I'm just going to put it in. If I leave it anywhere else he is bound to leave it behind and then I would never hear the end of it.

Maybe I should write him a note thanking him for lending me the book… or better yet, I should write him a note damning him to hell because if he hadn't pulled his little prank Chris wouldn't have gone to me and I wouldn't be feeling like crap right now.

Nah… I'm trying to cut off the bitterness here.

I take a crumpled paper out of his own bag; I'll just write him a note saying that I returned the book in the same condition he gave it to me.

I straighten the paper while looking around for anything to write with… I can't find a fucking pen in the mess that is his bag and for a moment I play with the idea of just texting him. Of course, not now, I don't want to interrupt him in his search for love.

At least one of us is having a pleasant time tonight.

So, I'm about to give up in my search when I notice that the paper had already being used; another reason why I should just text message him in the morning, I don't even have a paper now!

I throw the paper back into his bag and start my walk back to my own bed… then it hits me. That is no ordinary paper; the material is thicker, suspiciously like something out of a book… like ripped out of a book.

I go back to his bag and take both the crumpled paper and the book out. I open the book, just the cover because what I want to see is that first nonexistent page, the one that was torn.

Why would he keep it in his bag if it was just a torn page?

Curiosity is a very bad thing; I should not be doing this… but what the hell! I straighten the paper some more and lay it down. The cut edges match perfectly; this is the page that he ripped off before giving me the book.

And it is written by him… for me.

I read slowly what he wrote, taking in each word and considering them in my mind, first as a unit and then as a whole.

When I finish reading, I just stay still for a while, my mind racing a thousand miles per hour. There's a collage of images and words forming rapidly in my mind as my eyes take in the words.

This could mean nothing, just a thoughtful detail for a close friend; sure, he had never done anything of the like for me but still…

But then images of him kissing me, asking me to kiss him start rushing in my mind, his words of earlier tonight echoing in my head… that's when the words start to form a different meaning, a much profound meaning.

I read it again…

Jason, the one I laugh with, live for, dream of, love…

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.

P.D. I hope you enjoy this as a token of my love!

I remain still, confused, shocked… no, I'm catatonic! Does this mean…? No, it can't be! He's not into guys and he is definitely not into me… or is he? Could he?

Oh God!

I hear someone at the door and I hurry to crumple the paper back into a ball and then I throw it into the bag. The book I take with me back to my bed.

I take the remote control and turn on the T.V.

Why is he here so early anyway, didn't he have a hot date to attend?

Ah… of course, if he was meeting a girl in her room, there's no way he's into me, I just misunderstood his message…

"Hey" He says as he walks into the room and straight at his bed. "Packed already?"

I nod, not trusting my voice to speak. My eyes are glued to the screen, but I'm not sure what they are seeing, and when I notice that I was staring at some infomercials I begin to flip channels.

"I already packed" He says closing his bag, the paper that I had been prying on went unnoticed by him.

I venture to take a quick look at him, trying to see if there's any sign that could confirm or deny my ridiculous suspicions, there are none.

I clear my throat. "So, how was your date?" I said looking back at the screen. I hope I didn't went on as suspicious, I've never been one to ask about his escapades and that now I'm doing just that could make him wonder.

"I didn't make it there, I had a little… inconvenience at the bar"

"Oh…" He didn't make it? There's nothing that would stop Adam from meeting a nice looking woman behind closed doors! What's going on here? "What kind of inconvenience?" I ask looking back to him, curiosity getting the best of me once again.

He waves me off and begins taking off his shoes. "So, three days off the road, what are you going to do?"

I respond in autopilot, my mind is still grasping all this shit. "Just the usual, laundry, bills…"

"Well, I have a friend who haves a house in LA, a nice summer house right besides the beach, the thing is that he's on a business trip overseas and guess what?"

"What?" I'm still in autopilot…

He grins, his green eyes sparkling as they meet mine. "He totally will let me stay there! Isn't that awesome?"

I nod again. Wasn't I planning an escapade to the beach? Doesn't he have a house of his own to stay in?

"So what do you say, you and me in sunny LA, bathing in the sun… swimming in the Pacific Ocean…"

Oh no… "I… I don't know… I have a lot of laundry to do"

And that haves to be the lamest excuse ever! The truth is that I don't want to stay with him at his friend's place, not if there is a possibility that he's into me. I don't want to lead him into anything, being lead on sucks ass, I can tell by experience.

"I'm pretty sure he haves a washing machine there… Come on, it will be like old times, just you and me"

I run my hand through my hair. This is ridiculous, I mean, this is Adam, my best friend, my only remaining best friend… I know him since forever!

What if I go there and we let things go too far… I don't want to lose him like I lost Chris; I don't think I could bear that.

But Adam is not Chris, Adam is not married and Adam might love me… Can I love him back? I sure as hell can kiss him back, I mean; he does know how to kiss!

But I don't necessarily have to hook up with him just because he likes me… do I?

I scratch my head. "Sure, I mean… what harm can come from it?" And really what harm could come from a little trip to the beach…?

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I'm feeling a whole lot better now that I got a glimpse of the immense ocean extending to the horizon. I've always enjoy going the beach; the white sand, the blue ocean, the warm sun… the soft breeze. It all haves the power of relaxing me… like who could feel down in a place like this.

Adam is driving, he knows where to go; as for me, I just enjoy the view until he pulls over in front of what I assume is his friend's house.

"What friend is this anyway?" I ask once I'm out of the car. I thought I knew all of Adam's friends, I mean, his friends are basically my friends as well and I don't know anybody who haves a house here.

"Just some friend" He says walking to where I stand.

I stretch, watching him as he opens the door to take my things out. I'm still a little confused at what I found out last night… Adam is into me. The more I think about it the more sense it all makes.

Like when I tried to return the book to him at the airport, he shrugged it off and said that I could keep it if I wanted to… he still doesn't knows that I know about the note.

I don't know, maybe during the course of our days here I can talk to him about it and see where it goes from there… After all I can't live my life mopping for Chris.

"Nice isn't it?" He says handing me my bags. "Look, I need to buy a few things so why don't you go first and get comfortable, I won't be long"

"I can go with you if you want"

"No, it's ok… I'll be back soon. The door should be open so you'll have no problem getting in"

"Ok… but are you sure your friend is out of town, I don't want to walk in while he's at his living room. What if he calls the cops on me or something"

Adam just laughs and begins to walk back to the car, when he's about to get in he turns around to face me.

"Hey Jay" He takes off his sunglasses and looks at me, for a moment I thought he's about to say something like, I know that you know or something of the likes, but he just stays there, looking at me.

"What is it?"

He shakes his head and then puts back his sunglasses. "Never mind" He then gets in the car and drives away.

I turn and begin to make my way into the house, whatever he was going to say I'm sure he'll say when he comes back.

I get into the house and leave my bags at the entrance. This is a nice house, but what I like the most about it is that it's right beside the ocean. Maybe I'll change and take a walk along the shore; I need to relax like right now! Not only about the Chris' thing, but about Adam and what could happen here with him. I don't want to rush into another disastrous relationship.

I probably should wait for Adam so we could go together… I don't know. It would feel kind of weird.

"Hey"

I hear the voice and my head automatically turns to meet the owner of it. My heart drops to my feet and I can feel my brain swirling in my head. He's there, standing in the middle of the living room while his clear blue eyes search for mine.

I open my mouth to speak but I close it again due loss of words. I look at the door, looking out to where the car Adam rented had just taken off.

I don't understand…

The car is not there, but I already knew that. I look back to him, still frozen in the spot. To say that I'm shocked would be the understatement of the century.

"What are you doing here?" I ask when my voice finally comes back to me

Chris smiles and approaches me, his eyes still delving into mine. "I'm here to make things right"

TBC

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So, the first part of this chapter was basically just for everyone who was curious about what Adam wrote in the book, I wasn't going to reveal that but what the hell! I thought why not?

Hope you liked it!