Hey guys! I am so sorry for essentially falling off the face of the planet. A lot of things have happened over the last several years, had my heart broken, was diagnosed with severe depression twice, found new love and am finally beginning to get better. This chapter begins the recovery process for Zoro and Sanji. I ask anyone that may be struggling to get help. Whether it is talking to a friend or facing your demons with help from a licensed therapist, get help. I want you guys to know that the way you feel is okay, just because you feel a certain way does not make you any less important than someone "normal". You matter, you are important, and I want all my readers to never forget that. That being said- there is mention of self-harm in this chapter. If that upsets you or triggers a desire in you, please skip this chapter. I will have another chapter out in the very near future. Thank you for all of your patience!
ZORO POV
With us expecting a little one, Sanji and I needed to get our lives in order first. We need to deal with his depression and my alcoholism. We need to become the people that we were before Robin lost the first child, the people who laughed and had a good time without worry or care. The first step to recovery for me was reopening the dojo and pulling in some money. We're going to need to rebuild our savings after I demolished it. I dropped Sanji off at home and with a kiss goodbye I was back on the road. I stopped the car in front of the large, dark, wood building I had such down a little over a month ago in my grief. I put the car in park and take a deep breath, nervousness flowing through me. I tear off the 'closed until further notice' sign and slide the door open, breathing in the deep fragrance of sandalwood. Leaving the door open behind me, I walk to the back of the room and sit. One leg tucked under the other and for the first time in a long time, I let my mind go blank and get lost in the silence around me.
SANJI POV
Zoro drops me off at the apartment with a kiss. We discussed on the way home about address our issues both together and individually and that he was going to reopen the dojo. As he drives off I decide to begin my healing and try to clean the apartment. My hopes are high that cleaning will provide a distraction from my dark thoughts. I begin in our bedroom, the room farthest from the kitchen and therefore farther away from my knives. "Let's start here and if I can make it through this, then I can move to the kitchen,' I think to myself. I first go for the laundry spread out on the floor, picking up every stray sock and boxers and throw them into the laundry basket. I then move to grab the dust cloth and lose myself to the slow monotony of housewifing.
ZORO POV
I am pulled out my meditation by the light shuffling of feet on the hardwood floor. My eyes snap open at the sound of the intruder,
"Who is there?" I call out from my seat near the back.
"Are you the owner of this establishment?" The voice belongs to a blonde man with hair cut short to the top of his head, much like a mohawk. He has a cocky attitude that gets my sparring urge itching.
"What if I am?" I ask raising the cockiness of this conversation. Meeting him with my own attitude. I make eye contact and there is a fire in his eyes of the likes I have not seen since Sanji graduated cooking school years ago.
"I need you to train me!" The man drops to the floor and puts his head down to touch the floor. I get up from my spot and begin to walk toward him slowly.
"You seem strong, why do you need training?" I ask my final question, stopping halfway between the man and where I was.
"My boyfriend was beaten up pretty badly and I want to get back at them," he states resolutely.
'Just like me,' I comment to myself and smile. I begin to approach him and when I get within arms reach, he grabs my leg and flips me over, pinning one arm under me and the other in his grip restrained behind my back. His knee placed firmly on my lower back so that I cannot get away no matter how hard I try.
"Now that's what I'm talking about! What's your name?" I ask before making my move.
"My name is Marco."
"Alright, Marco. Welcome to hell!" I shift my center of gravity slightly and spread my fingers to get a better grip and larger surface area before I launch him off of me. He is surprised when he realizes that he now airborne, having been tossed off my back. He lands a few feet behind me with a loud thud. Marco lets out a sigh and staggers back to a standing position. He charges at me with his arm cocked back, ready to land a blow. I dodge to the left and land my own punch in the middle of his back and Marco lets out an exasperated sigh. After stumbling he turns around and he has a feral look in his eyes, he comes at me again.
"You're angry Marco. Calm your thoughts and focus!" I shout at him as I dodge another blow. He almost skids to a stop and takes a deep breath. Once he calms a little I take control of the situation.
"Sit with me," I return to my earlier position and close my eyes.
"What the hell am I going to accomplish by sitting on my ass?" I grab him by the bottom of his shirt and pull him down to the ground. "Sit like I am and close your eyes. Focus on the sounds and smells here in this place instead of whatever is going on in the world outside those doors." Marco heaves a large sigh when I finish talking and does as I say. We spend the next half hour in silence, only listening to the sounds of silence.
SANJI POV
I am drawn out of the nursery where I was removing the white drapes and dusting by a knock on the front door.
"Just a minute!" I yell \down the hall as I head toward the front door. I open the door and am met by Nami and Luffy.
"Sanji! I'm hungry!" Luffy's demand for food is met by a swift smack to the head from Nami.
"My darling Nami-swan! What brings you here?" I greet Nami, ignoring Luffy for the moment.
"We just wanted to stop by to see how you are doing."
"I am doing better today than I have been lately it seems. Zoro and I are going to be working on somethings that need to be hashed out before the little one comes." I state and Nami squeals in delight. Apparently, Robin hadn't told her yet, oh well the cat is out of the bag now.
"That's so exciting Sanji-san!" I smile my signature smile and head over to the kitchen. While I appreciate my friends coming over, there is still a black hole in my heart that aches to be filled. It aches for the sweet relief a cold knife would bring, the peace and quiet it would bring to my mind. I decide to get cooking because its better for me to occupy my hands.
"Luffy? What do yo want to eat?" I call out to the dark haired man now on the couch.
"MEAT!" He exclaims. I give a look to Nami who gives me a visual apology for her boyfriend. I set to the task of making some chicken and jumbo shrimp. I am praying that they are here until Zoro gets home so I do not loose my mind.