Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Summary: Kimiko begins a journey and a hard trial of discoveries.

Chapter 9- Discoveries

The four of us flew through the sky as we sat atop of our beloved dragon Dojo. Taylin did not join us on our journey, she said she needed to stay at the temple and refresh her memories. I didn't want Taylin to come anyways. She was nothing to me. She wouldn't even tell me the most important thing there was to know about my mom…

As we flew through the bright blue skies, my memories flew as well. It felt just like the old days, when we would take a journey to discover anything and everything. There were new Shen-gong-wu, Wudai weapons, the Treasure of the blind swordsmen, and so many others. But never had we taken a journey to discover something we had already had. It felt so strange to me that I needed to take a journey to regain my courage, but I mean, Master Fung did know best.

"What are you thinking about Kim" Rai moved closer to me on the scaly skin of the enlarged, green dragon. I told him.

"I'm just thinking about this journey and what it will help me to discover."

"Master Fung says that it will help you discover your courage." I shrugged.

"I know what he said." I said. "But I just feel like this journey won't help. I mean," I sighed. "Courage isn't something physical that you can just pick up. It's not like the Wu, you cannot touch it. It's something I have to find on my own, and in my own time." I shook my head. "I just don't see how there is anywhere we can go, that I will 'discover' my courage at." Raimundo grinned and gave me an adorable sideways smirk.

"Maybe you're wrong and we'll just find some courage laying on the ground somewhere." I smacked him, but I couldn't help but laugh along. It did seem like such a silly idea. A journey to find my courage. How would that help anyway? I turned and looked into Raimundo's playful eyes. He was trying to get me to laugh again. And he was succeeding. Just maybe, that's what the journey was for, to find my humor. I shook my head. Nah, that wasn't it, I never lost my humor.

We landed near a small koi pond in Tokyo, Japan, a beautiful city that I was proud to call home. I looked around the small private courtyard that we had landed in and took a deep breath of the calming scent of cherry blossoms. I smiled as I looked at all of the wildflowers around me and the happy fish swimming in the pond. I was home again. It'd been so long since I've been there. But there I was standing in the middle of the courtyard, breathing that happy scent of familiarity and taking in the sights of my childhood.

I had asked Dojo why we stopped at Japan and he told me that all of the best journeys start at home. He told me that the best way to re-discover my courage was if I started at home and talked to my daddy about everything that I was going through. And maybe then, I could discover more about Yen and why she was coming after me. I liked that answer. And maybe this way I could find out how my mother died. Surly my papa would tell me now. He had to…

I turned to look back at Rai who was standing firm behind me. I felt a sudden wave of nerves and nausea overcome me and I found myself reaching back for his hand. He gave it to me with warmth and comfort. I turned back to look ahead of me and took a deep breath. I took one step forward and headed toward Tohomiko Tower.

"Kimiko?" I heard a voice behind me before I could even take the second step. I turned to see a familiar looking girl. I squinted at her in the fading light. She laughed.

"Kimi?" My smile brightened. It was her! I let go of Rai's hand and rushed to hug my best friend.

"Oh, Keiko! I can't believe it's you!"

"Oh, believe it baby." Keiko laughed. "Cause I'm right here!" I pulled back and grinned at the girl that I had known ever since birth. She hadn't changed one bit. My smile turned into that of a melancholy one.

"I missed you." I told her. She grinned.

"And I missed you." She replied playfully. But I wasn't feeling playful. As I stood there looking at my best friend I began to feel a sudden rush of sadness and emotion. I felt a tear slip down my cheek.

"There is so much that I have to tell you." I said to my best friend.

"Kimi, are you ok?" A look of worry flashed her face. I shook my head. I had to be honest with my best friend. That was the kind of relationship that we had always had.

"No." I said. Keiko flashed me a sympathetic smile, and then she looked over me and at my other friends.

"I'm sure you all came here for a reason," She said to them. "But I have to steal Kimiko away for a little bit."

Raimundo's POV

I nodded and watched the two walk away. Kimiko had been through so much, and I was glad that she had a friend like Keiko who would drop everything just to offer a shoulder to cry on. And even though I had wanted to be that shoulder through it all, I knew that Kimiko needed a close friend to talk to. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Clay behind me.

"Come on, pardner." He said. "Let's go say hey to Mr. Tohomiko." I nodded. Kimiko was in Keiko's hands now; there was nothing I could do. So we headed back toward the Tower and knocked on the big metal door. Mr. Tohomiko answered right away.

"Ah!" He greeted us. "It is the Xiaolin monks who have taken such good care of my little Kimiko." He grinned and rushed us in. "How are you all doing?" He asked us.

"Just perfect!" Omi responded. I laughed. Omi was always so cheerful no matter what the situation was. Clay and I took our turns responding as well and then we all followed Kimiko's dad into his living room where he offered us a seat.

"The last time I talked to my little girl she didn't sound too well. How is she doing?" I sighed and shook my head.

"She isn't doing too well." I sighed. Mr. Tohomiko looked at me with worry filled eyes.

"What has been going on?" He asked me. I shook my head again.

"I think that's something she should tell you. That's why we're here." I chuckled. "She's on a journey."

"What kind of a journey?" Mr. Tohomiko sounded even more worried.

"This is a journey for her to rediscover her courage!" Omi spoke up. I slapped my forehead and turned to give Omi a sideways glare. Mr. Tohomiko looked to Omi, then back to me. Worry was filling his eyes, and I felt so horrible to think that we were causing his grief.

"You shouldn't have told him." I growled lowly to Omi. Omi backed up and dropped his head. He whispered.

"Sorry."

"What has happened to my little girl's courage?" Kim's papa asked us. I shook my head and explained to him that it was a long story.

"It's something Kim should tell you herself." I said. Mr. Tohomiko let out an unsettled sigh and buried his head in his hands. I could see a few tears slip through his fingers. After a moment he lifted his face and said.

"I have put her through so much when it came to her mother. I could never tell her what happened. I still cannot…" He paused for a long while before moving on. "And I could not tell her about her mother's family either. But she found out… Did she not?" I nodded. She found out. She found out, and has been torn apart ever since.

"Yeah," I whispered. "And she's not doing so well about it."

"What has Yen done to her?"

"I can't say." I shook my head. "That's something she has to tell you."

"Please…" Mr. Tohomiko practically begged, but still, I shook my head.

Kimiko's POV

I lifted up my head and looked Keiko in the eyes.

"I just don't know what to do." I sighed.

"Just have to have patience." Keiko said as she sweetly rubbed my back. I shook my head and wiped away a few runaway tears.

"You don't understand how hard this is for me." I gasped through my tears. "I'm having these horrible nightmares, this lady is coming after me, and I've come to find out that I have family I've never even known…" I paused. "And you know, through all of this nobody can know the pain that I am feeling. Raimundo can't even understand!" I paused again and took a deep breath. "And because of all of this, I have lost my courage, the one thing that has kept me together all of these years. Do you know how hard that is on me?" Keiko shook her head.

"No, I don't." She sighed. "And I wish I could have been with you through all of this. And I wish I could get what you're going through and understand it all…" She continued rubbing my back. It felt good. And it felt good to finally be able to talk to my best girlfriend about it. She may not have been able to understand what I was going through, but she was a teenage girl just like me, and she could understand my feelings. I allowed myself to fall into her embrace and cry on her shoulders once more. After a long moment I pulled back up and looked at her with teary eyes.

"And all I want is to get it back." I sobbed. Keiko sighed.

"I know." Was all she said. I put my head down and she pulled me back into her embrace. And as she hugged me and softly rubbed my back I allowed myself to cry on her shoulders again. It seemed there was nothing else to do but cry. I didn't even have the courage to keep the tears away. My mind was so fogged up and I was so confused. I couldn't think. All I knew was how much it hurt and how much I wanted my courage back. I wanted it back so badly that I could taste it. And it just wasn't fair that I couldn't find it. None of this was fair. I looked back up at Keiko and quietly asked her.

"Do you think that I'm being selfish about all of this?" Keiko looked at me like she couldn't believe what I had just asked. She shook her head vigorously.

"Why would you even ask that?" She said. "You're hurt and you're confused… But you're not selfish. How can you be?"

"It's just that…" I paused. "Rai had told me one night when he was getting upset that he thought I was being selfish. That I couldn't understand the pain I was putting him through. Omi and Clay too." Keiko shook her head again and chuckled.

"Well, Rai's just stupid." She grinned. I couldn't help but smile back, but I still felt bad. Nothing had hurt more than when Raimundo told me that I was hurting him… I looked up at her and sighed.

"I just don't ever want to hurt Raimundo… And if what I'm going through causes him pain too… Than yeah, I think that's pretty selfish." Keiko was silent for a long moment but she never took her eyes off of me.

"You love him so much." She whispered. I nodded.

"I do." I said. "My love for him is more overwhelming than the pain I feel. And what I'm going through, and what I'm putting him through. And it just isn't fair." Keiko looked at me but she couldn't seem to think of anything to say to me. I wiped off my face and took in a shaky breath.

"I need to go talk to my papa now."

"Kimiko!" My papa greeted me as I walked into the family room. He rushed over to give me a hug but stopped short and gave me a sideways glance.

"What is the matter baby girl?" I couldn't keep my tears from falling.

"I need to know what happened to my mother." Papa paused far too long.

"I cannot." He said ever so quietly. I shook my head. I could feel the tears pouring down my face as I cried.

"What do you mean you can't?" This time he couldn't even answer me. "Papa!" I cried. "Tell me about my mother! I need to know how she died!" My dad shook his head and I could feel the anger rising up with me. "Why won't you just tell me?" I screamed. My papa continued to shake his head. I could feel the hot tears pouring down my face and I continued to scream at him.

"You don't know what I've been through in these past weeks papa! I've been tortured by these dreams that I can't control. I've been kidnapped and struck by a poisonous lightning. And I've got family out there trying to kill me!" I let it all out. I couldn't help it. It hurt so much, and I just wanted it all out. I didn't want to have to deal with it anymore, none of it. I could feel fire licking at my ears but I didn't even care. I just wanted all of this to end. I screamed at my papa.

"And it's just so unfair dad. It hurts so much and I want it all to end!" My papa looked at me with sad eyes.

"I wish there was something I could do…" He sighed and I shook my head at him.

"You can tell me how my mother died." Papa looked down.

"But I cannot." He whispered. "That is something you have to discover yourself." I sighed. My heart broke. Something I have to discover myself. Why did everyone keep saying that? Everything I have to discover myself… I dropped to my knees and sobbed. My heart hurt so much. All I wanted was to find my courage again, and to know what happened to my mom. But I couldn't find either and I could feel myself begin to fade fast.

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