Alright, I wanted to update quickly, making up for my absence on the last chapter. This chapter is probably the most packed with goodness. It's my new favorite! You'll see why. ha
Also, thank you for all the reviews. Keep them coming, they make me want to write faster and get the chapters to all of you guys more quickly. This was the longest chapter I have ever written. I stayed up till 4 writing it. I just woke up and wanted to make sure everything was good with it and then get it out to all of you lovely people. )
Also, just a note to the people who asked: I do not dance. I did ballet for two years and then quit. I did not have the body, determination, or drive to become a fantastic dancer like Bella is in my story. ha But thanks for thinking my descriptions were wonderful. That made my day.
And lastly, a big thanks to everyone who is reading this. You guys rock!
Lasagna, Love, and Letters
I hurried out the building and paced towards my building, to my warm bed, to a hot bath, and to a safe haven. I focused on seeing that black door to my apartment, knowing that as soon as I saw it, I could begin to relax. When I arrived to my apartment building I had to drag myself past our new neighbor's place. I tried not to get a peak if he was there, and to my disappointment, he was nowhere to be seen. I sighed and walked to my door, thrust the key in, and opened the door in a quick motion. I walked in to find no one in sight, but I did hear the rustle of makeup, the sizzling of hair in a curling iron, and the click-click on the floor from stilettos being worn.
I turned toward my room and started to go in, I had just touched the door handle when Alice spoke.
"Hey Bells!" She said in an extra cheery voice. I turned around putting my best happy face on and smiled.
"Hey Als, what's up? Going with Jasper tonight?"
"Kind of, did you see we have a new neighbor?" Oh no.
"Yea, I saw that. Have you met them?"
"Yep, and so have you," Alice giggled. I knew the next part, but I still had to play my part.
"Who is it?"
"Edward Cullen," Alice said smiling. I knew what I had to do next, it was something I had no energy to do.
"Edward Cullen?!" I asked seething. I don't know where this anger came from but it instantly took over my body and allowed me to breathe fire.
"Yea, apparently Mike thinks you need someone here 24/7, 365 days of the year."
"I'm going to kill him," I gritted through my teeth as I turned toward my room.
"Where are you going?" Alice asked curiously.
"To call that bastard," I said over my shoulder. I walked into my room and slammed my door. I dropped my bag and tore off my shoes, clothes, and let my hair fall wildly from the tight bun I had it imprisoned in. I was standing there in leotard and tights, my hair a mess, and I jumped on my bed and under the covers. I laid there for a few minutes allowing my body to form a mold in the bed and trying to calm down my thoughts. Edward was going to be living right next door to me, I would know more about him now than I ever thought I would.
I heard a knock on my window and jumped at the sound. I turned my head and saw Edward hunched over at my window. He had probably used the fire escape from his window to get to mine. I pulled the comforter around my body and walked over to the window, unlatching it and opening it.
Edward crawled through and without too much racket he was standing in front of me, his green eyes moving over my body and realizing that I was close to being completely naked. I pulled the comforter upwards and tighter around my body, feeling embarrassed from having him here as I was the only one almost completely undressed again.
"Can I help you?" I asked. I wasn't sure if he was mad at me, if I was mad at him, if he had no feelings for me still, but I did know that he still took my breath away; still made me weak in the knees, and he could make me forget all my problems with just one touch, let alone one kiss.
"I wanted to invite you over for dinner," Edward said politely.
"I don't think that's a good idea," I stated.
"Why? Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper are all coming over to celebrate the new apartment with me; I'd like you to come."
"And you couldn't have used the front door or telephone to ask? Besides, I can't," I said quickly.
"Why?" Edward retorted. Lines of worry were etched onto his forehead and there was a strange pain in his eyes.
"Because…because I'm not feeling well," I came up with a terrible lie. I felt fine, a little tired, but nothing unusual. Of course Edward wouldn't see it that way.
"You're sick? Do you need a doctor? Let's go to the hospital," he whined as he pulled me to my door. I quickly got out of his grip and refused.
"No, no, no, I'm fine. I just need a night in to decompress."
"Oh," was all Edward could speak. He turned towards the window, he was just about to open the window and crawl out when he turned towards me. "I'll check in on you later and bring you some food."
"That won't be necessary," I said. The ache in my body told me I only wanted one thing: Edward's arms around me. I took a step towards me. "Edward, about what you said earlier…"
Edward took a step towards me, "Yes?" He was about six inches from me. I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair and down by his ear, he leaned into my palm and closed his eyes. He took his hands and gently placed them on my hand and brought it to his lips to kiss the palm. He then turned from me and started towards the window.
"Wait," I said taking a step towards him. He reluctantly turned around, sadness in his eyes.
"What, Isabella?" There it was. This was not Edward and me. This was bodyguard and prisoner. My heart sank that I wasn't talking to the man that I had a desire for, I was talking to one of Mike's oafs.
"Nothing," I put my head down and closed my eyes. I heard some rustles and then Edward's body was pressed up to mine, his face by my ear.
"I want you so bad," his breath tickled my ear and the impact of his skin on mine made my breathing hitch.
"We can't do this," I whispered back sadly.
"You're right, but it just feels so right."
"I know, but we're going to have to try harder."
"I already have been." He kissed behind my ear and trailed his nose down my jaw line. I wrapped my arms around him and he gripped my waist. The sheet falling to the floor, and my leotard being the only layer between us; Edward ran his finger up my side. He brought his face to mine and I pressed my lips to his. I felt better as soon as the connection was made. I rose to my toes to adjust to his height. His grip tightened as we made the kisser deeper. There was an urge in our bodies and we moved harmoniously together. My body ached for him, wanted him, and pleaded for him. I heard a knock on the door and Edward and I quickly let go of each other.
"Who is it?" I yelled.
"It's Alice, who else do you think it is, Edward Cullen?" I relaxed. Edward was already starting for the window. I followed him.
"Just a second Alice, let me get dressed." I could already hear Alice's foot tap impatiently. Edward was out the window and turning around to take another look at me. I leaned up and kissed him chastely. He smiled my crooked smile and then left in a hurry. I shut the window, leaving it unlocked and ran to the door. I opened it out of breath, still in a dizzy from Edwards's body pressed up against me.
"What can I help you with?" I smiled, allowing her to come in.
"We're going over to Edward's for dinner, he's invited you. I didn't know if you'd want to come or not." I changed my face so it looked like I was thinking and stood silent for a moment.
"I guess I should, there's no need to get on bad terms with the guy who is 'in charge' of my life," I sighed.
"No one is in charge of your life but you," Alice said squeezing my arms. "You are a magnificent girl; don't let anyone try to change you." I smiled at my best friend's words and nodded in agreement.
"I'm guessing you're here to talk wardrobe then?" I laughed. Alice's eyes lit up into a devilish gleam and giggled. She scurried over to my closet and pulled out a couple of items. First was dark, skinny black dress, it hung my body perfectly and showed off my toned legs, it rippled at the end and made my body look extravagant; then it was a pair of closed back pumps. The ribbon wound up my leg, just like a pair of ballet Pointe shoes. I liked the composition she had created and wanted to look good if I was going to have dinner with Edward, even if I wasn't allowed to touch him, kiss him, or act like he and I were genuinely close.
"Well Ms. Fashionista, I think you've picked a winner," Alice gleamed victoriously and handed me the clothes. I put them on and Alice already starting to brush my hair.
"You are so lucky your hair just goes into perfect position with a flick of the wrist," she whined.
"If only I had clever fashion sense, I'd be Rose and you," I teased.
"Don't forget if you were actually good at ballet," Alice joked in return. She poked me in the sides and I laughed.
After a few minutes, I was already to go and so were the rest of my roommates. Rose wore a deep crimson top with a tight leather jacket on top of it and Alice wore a black jumper with a blue shirt underneath it. We started heading over to next-door, I behind Rose and Alice.
Alice knocked the played-out "Dum da duh dum dum, dum dum" on the door and the door was whipped open by Jasper, who brought Alice into his embrace and started kissing her neck all over while Alice giggled. Emmett was next; he brought Rose to his lips, his hands on her face. They had switched routines and now Jasper and Alice were the ones physically sick to watch. I laughed and then turned toward Edward who had just walked out of the kitchen with a bottle of red wine. He took a gander up and down my body and then gave me a wink as the couples were still in each other's arms. I walked to the table, taking in the extravagant furniture.
"Compliments of Mike," Edward said pouring a glass of wine, he handed it to me and I took a sip. I nodded to let him know that the drink was delicious.
"They always are," I noted, running my finger over the luxurious silverware, centerpiece, and table cloth. The plates were bright white, with deep red plates underneath. The black napkins were next to them, with shiny silver silverware on top of them. The centerpiece was a bouquet of roses, deep red and radiating romance. Candles were lit all around the table and there were also beads of jewels placed randomly. I turned to look at Edward who was wearing a deep emerald button up shirt, with the first few unbuttoned, giving me a sight of the glorious chest underneath. His shirt matched his eyes and made them gleam even more brilliantly than the usually do. His black pants were perfectly straight, unlike his untidy hair that looked magnificent. Edward put the bottle down on the table as he had just finished pouring his glass of wine and he traced his fingers up my arm, and then left my skin to sit by his side. I could hear the others coming closer, knowing that Edward and I were done being this way; it was time for acting.
"Something smells great," Emmett said rubbing his hands together. He looked like a child about to get dessert.
"I don't get a hello, Em?" I teased. Emmett came over to me and caught me in a great bear hug and kissed my cheek.
"I didn't mean to be so rude, no one could ever take the place of my Bells" Emmett said with a wink, I smiled in return.
"I didn't realize I was standing in your way of getting to my best friend," Rose joked to Emmett, he turned back to her and showered her with kisses the way Jasper had to Alice when we had arrived.
"He's all yours, Rose, I can't handle big babies," I said laughing.
"Hey! He's wearing his big boy undies now!" Rose joked. Emmett scoffed and walked to the table.
"So Cullen, what are we having?" Emmett spoke clapping his hands together.
"Lasagna," Edward said putting a steaming dish of mouth-watering deliciousness in the middle of the table. Edward disappeared to the kitchen to grab something while everyone sat down. There were six black chairs around the black rectangular table. Alice and Jasper sat together while Rose and Emmett found a place together. I sat down in one of the remaining seats, knowing that the only place Edward could sit, was right next to me. I was on the side of the table at the corner, and Edward would be at the head of the table. I sat down and put my napkin in my lap, not wanting to look up to see his reaction at having to sit by me. I focused on my hands and the cloth on my legs, and I heard Edward scoot his chair up closer to the table.
"Dig in," Edward said quickly before moving his hands out of the way of Emmett's scooping hands into the lasagna to pull out a piece for him. He started filling his mouth at the spicy Italian food, I would have done the same thing, but there were spectators here.
"Save some for the rest of us," Jasper laughed while putting his arm around the back of Alice's chair and rubbing her back. I looked at Edward who was watching Jasper and Alice intently. The way those two had a conversation between their bodies without having to say something. It was a remarkable thing to watch; like watching a fairy tale come to life without the sad ending of a clock striking midnight or their worlds being too different. They were perfect for each other.
I looked back at Edward who was now staring at me, I raised my eyebrows and he returned with a crooked smile and then helped himself to some lasagna. He held the pan to me and I held my plate up and he plopped a piece on my plate. I grabbed the salad bowl and started dishing some salad on my plate, I offered some to Edward, who held out his plate and I scooped some out for him. When the rest of the group had their food placed, everyone started digging in.
"This is delicious," Alice squealed after taking a bite in her lasagna. "Mind if I come over every night for dinner?"
"Looks like you got some competition, Jazz," Emmett burled in laughter.
"Yea, Edward can serve dinner, but I'll serve dessert," Jasper replied, sarcasm etched into his voice.
"What do I get then?" Emmett pouted.
"You can do my dishes, I've always wanted to see you actually do some kind of work," Alice teased.
"Ha-ha, very funny," Emmett replied.
"Where did you learn to cook?" Rose chimed in; my guess was to save Emmett.
"When I was younger, my parents couldn't afford to go out, so we would make gourmet meals out of our leftovers and dress up. We'd pretend we were going to a five-star restaurant and once I was old enough, I started helping out," Edward said taking a sip of his wine. I had no idea what his childhood was like, but this gave me a great insight. The conversation went like this for awhile, six people joking around, exchanging stories. When we were all finished, we got back to the conversation of Edward's lack of fortune.
"Does it bother you that you grew up poor?" Rose said bluntly. I heard a movement under the table and Rose yelped and then glared at Alice who was glaring right back. "Sorry," Rose mumbled.
"Don't be," Edward started. "It never bothers me; I mean I grew up with learning that the value of life is not in your wallet, but that it's in your soul."
"Then why are you working for Mike?" Emmett joked while taking a sip of his beer.
"Just because I don't need money to be happy, doesn't mean I don't want a secure life," Edward added. "I just want to live each day to the fullest with the people I love."
"To the people you love," Jasper said raising his wine glass to Edward. Alice joined him, then me, then Rose and Emmett. We all clinked glasses and then Alice and Jasper kissed while Rose and Emmett kissed. I looked at them and bit my lip trying to hold back the jealousy that I didn't have that. I burrowed my eyebrows, scowling at the fact that I was pitying myself.
I caught Edward staring at me from the corner of my eye and I turned to look at him. His stare started to scare me; it was full of all these powerful emotions. I felt the wind knocked out of me the moment I looked over at him. I blushed and then turned back to the rest of the group. Rose and Emmett were the first ones to break away, not because they were done, but because they had a trick up their sleeve.
"We're going to go…to Emmett's….to get…um….stuff," Rose said quickly. She shot up, knocking over a couple of glasses. Embarrassed, she tried to spin quickly and get out quickly but ended up knocking over her chair. She looked down at the fallen seat and then back at us who were all looking at her like she was crazy, except Emmett who looked smug. Rose grabbed his arm and he stammered up and then they practically ran to the door. Rose was not usually a clumsy person, but that's the effect Emmett had on her.
"I think Alice and I are going to head to my place," Jasper added. Alice's face lit up and she started gleaming. I tried to hide my smile, and Edward looked like he was at a circus, trying to take in all the freak-shows. Jasper dabbed the corner of his mouth with his napkin and then got up, he scooted Alice's chair back as she stood and came over to me. She gave me a kiss and a hug.
"You'll be fine home alone?" Alice asked skeptically.
"This is becoming a ritual," I teased.
"Are you going to hang out here for a while?"
"Yea, I'll help clean up the mess you animals created."
"If you don't want me to go, I won't," Alice said. Her face fell slightly and she tried to cover it up with a smile, but I knew my best friend better than that.
"No, besides, I've got my bodyguard here," I nodded towards Edward and Alice turned to him.
"If one hair on her hair is missing, I'm hiring someone to stuff and mount you," she said seriously.
"The people you'd hire like me though," Edward smiled. Alice gave her world-renown glare and Edward backed down. "She's in good hands, she won't be in less than perfect condition she is already in," he promised.
"Looks like he knows how to compliment," Alice said laughing. Jasper was holding her coat open and Alice put her arms in. She then took the scarf he was holding and wrapped it around her neck. "If you need anything, let me know. I can be back here in five minutes." She turned her head to look at Edward. "I know people who are willing to go back to jail," she added. He nodded in return and stood up to shake Jasper's hand. I rose too, to say goodbye to my good friends. Alice and I hugged once again and laughed in each others' arms.
"You'll see each other again, you know," Jasper said laughing. We let go of each other reluctantly and smiled. I hugged Jasper next, who gave me a kiss on the cheek and then whispered in my ear, "I'm one of those people willing to go back to jail for you." I gasped at his sentence. I had no clue that Jasper had ever served time, I thought he was too afraid to ever do anything illegal. I pulled back and kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you," I said smiling. Edward and Alice had given each other a quick hug and now Alice was the one pushing Jasper out the door.
"Now look who is holding us up," Alice teased. Jasper took her hand and kissed it and then held on to it until he was out into the hallway. Edward was leaning against the door and I was leading against the doorframe. We said goodbye and waved one last time and watched them walk down the hall, until they were out of sight.
Edward closed the door and I followed after him. I instinctively started picking up the plates and carrying them to the sink, Edward did as I did and soon we were silently washing and drying dishes. I was washing, he drying. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see he would smile and look down almost as if he had a secret, every time I handed him a dish. I didn't look at him, just focused on my slow circles on the plate.
"Are you going to ignore me all night?" he finally asked, taking a sip of his wine. He set it down on the counter and took the plate I was handing him and started to rub the water off.
"Not all night," I teased. "I thought I would enjoy the moments where you aren't ruining the conversation by saying something stupid."
"I never saw anything stupid, I always say enlightening and interesting things," Edward reasoned.
"There goes the enjoyment," I scoffed. He laughed and then focused on the task at hand. I reached over and took a sip of his wine and placed it back on the counter.
"You know you enjoy your time with me," Edward played.
"The only reason I came tonight was to play my part," I said. I searched his face to see if he believed me. His face was marked with interest, intrigue, and confusion. His hair was marvelously out of place, a smile forming at the corner of his perfect lips, and his eyes were glistening with desire.
I started to wash the last plate, making sure everything was cleared off and sparkling clear. "And here I thought you were here to try my famous lasagna," Edward scoffed.
"Well, that too. And to flirt with Emmett."
"Man, he always gets the girls," Edward joked.
"I can't help if he knows how to pleasure a woman." I was trying so hard not to smile or laugh, or even throw up at the thought of Emmett in bed. That was something I never wanted to see or think about.
"Does Rose know about you two?"
"She's just a cover. We can't have everyone knowing about Emmett and I. Think about what Mike would say."
"I'd like to see Mike's face when you tell him you're running off together."
"I don't think that will happen. Emmett is falling for Rose, I guess my plan back fired," I said shrugging my shoulders and smiling. I gave him the plate to dry and he started whipping the cloth over the white porcelain and putting it in the cupboard.
"You just need a back up, that's why I am here," Edward said reaching up to put the plate at the top shelf.
"What makes you think you have the requirements to be my lover?" I asked laughing, taking another sip of his wine, Edward took the glass out of my hands and took another sip. He filled the glass once more and put it back on the counter. I was leaning against the sink, Edward's hands on either side of him, supporting himself with the granite counters. His face was inches from mine, I could smell the wine on his hot, wonderful breath.
"What requirements do I need to replace Emmett? Be able to use a fork and knife at the same time?"
"You need to be debonair," I noted. Edward leaned back and waved his hands down his body, presenting himself to be suave.
"You need to be able to cook."
"Looks like I'm two for two," Edward added smiling.
"And last, you need to be a great dancer," I said smirking. I wanted to see his reaction.
"You've seen me dance, what did you think?" Edward said, leaning his hands on the counter and inching closer to my face. I pretended to think for a minute and then responded.
"Two for three isn't that bad," I joked. I grabbed the glass of wine and took a sip; Edward took it out of my hands and downed the whole rest of the fruity liquor. He grabbed my hand and led me to the family room, there was nothing in there except a couch, a stereo system and the mahogany floorboard. He let go of my hand and went to the stereo. He pressed three buttons and then on came "The à la menthe" by Nikkifurie. It looked like we would be tangoing again, except this time much faster.
Before I had time to react, Edward gripped my arm and thrust myself into his embrace. We locked arms and stared intently into each other's eyes. He began the steps as best I could, they were new to me so it took me a few seconds to understand his movements and let my body imitate them.
Edward shoved me out and I spun out. My hair and dress whipping away from my body and then clinging back together; Edward grabbed me more forcefully, his hand on my waist, pleading with him to continue. My body gave in and I started to dance with, putting effort it. But this time, I was angry. I was mad at him for not standing up for me today with Mike, for not having met me before I came to New York, for not just forfeiting his values and taking me. The way I wanted to be taken. My blood was pulsing, bursting through my veins, making me lightheaded.
Edward serenaded me around the room, our feet working at maximum speed. My leg hitched around his thigh and he grabbed onto the skin of my thigh, pushing his nails into my flesh. This was so much more rough and violent than ballet was, but still the same amount of passion and sensuality.
I pushed away from Edward and started walking back away from him, stalking away, my feet doing as they pleased. My hands were outreached and Edward quickly grabbed them and pulled them back to him. It was a game of cat and mouse, just like with Mike, only except, I wanted Edward to win.
Suddenly Edward's hands were on my sides; pulsing through the thin sheer. His grip was firm, tantalizing in a way. I didn't look away from the desire in his eyes, mine matching.
We wanted this.
We needed this.
The song went on and Edward's and my feet stopped moving, the music exploding around us, filling our hearts and veins with melodies too perfect for words. Edward's hands were running down my abdomen, to my hips, pulling myself closer to him. His head was bent low, so he and I were eyelevel. Our breathing was hitched, I was gasping for air, yet still mesmerized in Edward's green orbs. The darkness in the room cast the perfect shadows on his face and around the room.
"Three out three," I gasped falling into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me, our bodies expanding and contracting with each breath we took. We stood there, enticed in our arms, letting the song slow and end and our hearts to calm down from the race.
"I told you I was a good dancer," Edward bragged.
"But I'm better," I breathed into his shirt.
"Touché," Edward whispered into my hair. I leaned back and looked at him. He smiled devilishly and I gave him a curious look. I stepped away from him and started to walk to rooms I hadn't seen before.
"Where are you going?" He called after me. I heard him walk over to the stereo and push a couple of buttons until there was a new song playing. It was "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung. It was a personal favorite of mine.
"Since you're not going to give me a tour, I'll show myself around," I shouted mimicking his words. Edward found me a few moments later, two glasses of wine in his hands, I was in what I assumed was the guest bedroom. I took a glass from his hand and took a plentiful sip.
"What do you think?" Edward asked nervously, running his hand through his thick, copper hair.
"Why do you care what I think?" I laughed. I looked around the room some more, admiring the small touches Edward had put out. Pictures of him and his friends and family, knick-knacks from random places, and decorative pieces were all strewn around the room.
"I want to know your opinion, I trust you, your opinion matters most to me," Edward stated confidently.
"I think it's lovely, to be honest," I stated.
"Really?" Edward's said as his face lit up. I could tell he was happy that I approved. I wasn't sure why though.
"Really," I nodded. I turned and walked out of the room and into the next. I opened the door and assumed that this was Edward's room. His bed was a black comforter on a black-metal frame. The bed looked comfortable, and I decided to try it out. I sat down on the bed and took in my surroundings; the black and white photographs hanging on the walls, the tall dresser that had a few items on it: keys, wallet, and other objects. Edward sat down beside me and sighed.
"Did you have a good time tonight?" I asked. I wondered if he liked hanging out with Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper.
"I had a wonderful time," Edward said lying down. He had placed his wine glass on the nightstand, and I did the same. I leaned back so I was lying next to Edward and staring up at the ceiling. The song was still playing, but more softly now, and I felt sleep creep up on me and take over my eyes. I yawned reluctantly and Edward opened his arm, I instinctively lifted my head and placed it on his chest as he wrapped his arm around me. "Thanks to you."
"What do you mean?" I said; my eyes still close.
"I had a wonderful time because of you," he stated simply.
"What did I do?"
"You came." I opened my eyes and tilted my head up to find two glorious green marbles staring at me, filled with emotions.
"Of course I would. I have to play my part," I said sadly, putting my head back to my original position.
"Is this part of your act?" Edward asked curiously.
"No, I can be myself when I'm with you," I yawned again.
"I'm glad," Edward whispered.
"Me too."
"What do you think would happen if we…ever….you know."
"Well we couldn't ever tell our friends, our parents, or anyone," I stated sleepily.
"We'd be in hiding all the time," Edward noted.
"And we would only be able to be together when no one was looking, or asleep."
"Good thing I can get to your window easily," Edward joked. I laughed along with him, not coherent enough to lecture him. "Have you ever been in love, Bella?"
"I'm not really sure what love is," I replied.
"You've never had someone tell you that they love you?" Edward asked surprised.
"Besides my family? No, I haven't. What do you think love means?"
"I think that 'I love you' means that I accept the person for who you are and I do not wish to change you into something else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with. "I love you" means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me."
"I thought you didn't believe in love," I stated confused.
"I believe in love, just not in love for me," Edward spoke sadly. I lifted my head and turned towards him and propped myself on my elbow. Edward did the same and we were inches from each other's face. I thought I would eventually get use to the proximity of his beautiful features, but every time we got this close, my breath was taken away.
"What if someone did love you?" I asked curiously. "Would you love them back?"
"It depends on who the person is, I suppose."
"What if it were….me?" I asked hesitantly. Edwards' eyes widened at the statement and I instantly felt foolish.
"If you loved me, I'd be the happiest man alive," Edward spoke softly. His hand was hung over my hip, pressing into my back. I always felt safe in Edward's arms and these words made me feel hopeful. "You don't feel that way, do you?"
"Not at the moment. I'm very protecting of my heart, I don't give it to just anyone." I knew my words were harsh, but I had to be smart. Many people could get hurt from Edward and I having a relationship, I didn't want to be one of them. I knew it was inevitable not to get hurt from this, but I could only hope.
"Why do you have to be so shielded?" Edward asked. His tone was angry and his eyes were full of irritation and frustration.
"It's how I am," I stated calmly.
"It's aggravating," Edward growled.
"It's the truth. Why should I just let you have my heart, just so you can break it?" I asked annoyed.
"Don't you take any risks? Take the leap; I'm here, with my heart in my hands, telling you that I will catch you."
"It's not that simple," I said shaking my head.
"Only because you make it not simple," Edward argued. His voice and mine were becoming louder, and angrier.
"It's because I actually care about the people we will hurt," I bickered.
"And I don't?"
"You don't seem to mine that we would be playing with our friends' lives," I said bluntly. I was proud that I was finally talking about my feelings and saying exactly what I wanted to say.
"You're acting like they would die, if we were to be together."
"Yes, Edward, that is what I've been trying to tell you. Mike would come after them. He'll go after anyone who is associated with you or me if he found out we even thought about acting on our feelings for each other."
"So you do have feelings for me?" Edward said smugly. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
"Yes, I do," I mumbled.
"It's just nice to hear once in a while," Edward noted. I hadn't realized that I had been pretty cold to him. I placed my hand on his cheek and he looked me in the eyes.
"I do have feelings for you, Edward."
"Thank you," Edward whispered. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"I feel exhausted, that took a lot out of me," I joked.
"Better than arguing, huh?"
"Never," I laughed. Edward shook his head laughing.
"Mike would never find out," Edward said after a few moments of silence.
"He's got eyes everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if he was watching us now." Edward sat up and looked around and then stood.
"I like Bella Swan! I like Bella Swan!" He shouted, circling the room, looking for cameras. I laughed and then pulled him back over to the bed.
"You'll wake the city!"
"It's not like they have gone to sleep, besides, let them hear. I want the whole world to know," Edward said leaning over me as I lay down.
"That's another thing, I don't think you could keep it a secret," I said quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"I think you'd slip," I said honestly.
"What makes you think that?"
"I don't think you could handle sneaking around, hiding from others, and pretending that we don't have feelings for each other."
"Why not?"
"You're too impatient," I whispered.
"I am not," Edward argued.
"You are too," I laughed. "Besides, we can't. We just can't."
"Why do you keep saying that?" Edward said, pulling himself off of me. He stood up and went to the window. I sat up and looked at him confused. "Why can't you just let go of your thoughts; let your body take over."
"I'm not going to just throw the rule book out the window," I bickered. "I like knowing what I can and cannot do."
"You are so scared that you might actually feel something," Edward snapped as he spun around to me. I stood up and faced him.
"I can't believe you!" I hissed. "I'm the one trying to protect everyone, making sure no one gets hurt. If we were in a different situation, things would be different between us."
"But things aren't different between us, Bella!" Edward's jaw was clenched; he was trying to hold back his anger. But like a dam, it would break at any point.
"And that makes it okay to do what you want to do?" I barked.
"I just think we should take the only chance we are going to get at being together."
"Even if it destroys peoples' lives, ruins relationships, and maybe even take lives?"
"It all depends on fate," was Edward's answer. Fate; fate was what we were leaning on for support.
"Fate? That's what we're basing our choice on, fate?" I couldn't help the sarcasm that dripped out of my mouth and hung on every word. "You think that everything will just be peachy because fate will work out?"
"Yes, yes I do."
"You're insane," I insulted.
"And you're cynical," he accused.
"Better than cynical than thinking that everything will work out because life is some fairy-tale," I seethed. I turned on my heel and walked out of the room. I started walking to the door when I heard Edward on my heels. I turned back to him, still fuming, he looking annoyed.
"I don't want you thinking I'm running away, but I need to leave so I don't say anything I'll regret."
"I don't think you're leaving, I think you're running. And what I can't figure out is, are you running towards something you want? Or are you running away from something you're afraid to want?" Edward spoke harshly. I was flabbergasted. "What do you want, Bella?"
"I-I-I don't know," I stumbled. Great, well done, Bella.
"Well you better figure it the fuck out," Edward snapped. "I'm tired of these games. Either give me what I and you want, or get the hell out of my apartment." His words hit hard, like ice, I could feel the grinding and twisting I felt in my stomach; like someone had stabbed me and was spinning the knife around to make the situation all that more painful.
"It's not that simple, and you know it," I replied.
"It is. Either you want me or you don't."
"You can't make me choose you like that."
"What do you mean?" Edward's voice was still booming and loud. I prayed that the neighbors didn't hear us.
"I cannot choose you over the safety of our friends."
"No one is going to find out!"
"And what if they do?"
"God, if you didn't have that damn hold on me, I'd ask you to leave," Edward said raking his hand through his hair.
"Then go on and do it," I stated.
"I can't," he hesitated. We were silent for a few moments and then he spoke again."We're getting nowhere."
"So what do we do?"
"Well, I can't not have you in my life, I need you," Edward whispered. My heart broke for two reasons at that moment: one for knowing that I was placing my friends in danger and another, for placing Edward before the most important thing to me: ballet. Edward took another step toward me and within an instant; I was backed up against the wall, our lips pressing on each other.
The heat rocketed my body, sending me bolts of electricity down my body. He moved his lips over everything. My mouth. My jaw. My neck. My base. And my ear. The tip of his tongue slid along the curve of my lobe. He made his way back to my lips, his teeth pulled gently at my lower lip, urging me to open. The moment I did, his tongue swept inside. I could feel his hand brush down the thin material on my body; sliding up under the sheer material, beginning a long, slow glide up the inside of my thighs. Parting them gently, he began to stroke between my legs, moving the silk of my underwear back and forth across my clit. I groaned into his mouth. The sound seemed to echo around the room, inside my head. Slowly, through the haze of pleasure, I realized what was happening.
I wasn't the only one who was aroused.
"Edward," I murmured, suddenly uncertain. His eyes, those gorgeous, dangerous eyes, gazed down.
"You feel so good, Bella," he murmured. He slipped a finger inside my underwear, teasing around the edges of the place he'd stroked before, and I felt my whole body arch up toward his touch. "Let me show you how good you feel."
I felt Edward hook a finger into my underwear, drawing it smoothly down my legs and off. Again, my pelvis arched. Revealing the depth of my need and my desire. My body rocked with pleasure, wanting more, needing more. I had wanted this from the first time I met Edward, I had fantasized about this moment. My heart cried for joy at the beloved man standing here, doing the things I had marveled at him doing to me. I was his, whatever he wanted, he could take from me.
Then his fingers were back, in a deep, firm stroke. I gave a little cry. Edward's fingers were warm and slick, as if, before he'd touched me again, he'd brought them to his mouth. My breath began to come in short, hard grasps as I moved against his hand, rocking, rocking as his fingers worked their magic. I twisted my head from side to side in almost mindless pleasure.
More. Give me more, I thought.
As if he'd read my mind, Edward took the next step. He slid his fingers inside of me. My whole body spasmed, my legs locking around his hand, urging him deeper. He let go of my mouth and nuzzled at my neck as he began to move his body in the ancient rhythms of need. He spun me so my chest was propped up against the wall, my backside to him, his fingers still inside of me, pumping and rubbing the sensitive area. Thrusting his erection against my backside even as his fingers probed deep inside of me. The pad of his hand pressed, hard, against my clit, then released as his fingers eased out. Each time they did, Edward hesitated just a little longer before pressing in again, until all my consciousness narrowed down to that place where his hand moved, feeding but refusing to satisfy my desire. His teeth nipped at my neck, just a little short of pain.
"Come for me, Bella" I heard him whisper into my ear, my head arched back to find his mouth. He met me eagerly, taking each lip against his, urging me on. "I want to see you come undone."
"Make me," I gasped out.
He took my mouth in a searing kiss, tongue plunging deep even as his fingers surged inside me. I felt them widen, flexing and fluttering against my very center, and exploded. I cried out inside Edward's mouth, my body bowing upward, nerve endings screaming with pleasure, and still he didn't stop. His fingers continued to stroke and delve, sending me to a place I had never been before. A place I hadn't even known existed.
He'd done it. He'd made me come undone.
I collapsed against him. His mouth left mine to roam kisses across my face and I pulled out a ragged breath into my throat. Without a word, Edward slid his tongue down my jaw, fingers no longer inside of me, but stroking my most sensitive place, ever so insistently and softly. Heat coiled, deep in my belly, a tension, a possibility that would not be denied.
The second orgasm seemed to come from nowhere, swift and dazzling as a lightning strike. Lifting me up, carrying me to a place so intense that pleasure could no longer describe it. A place so elemental that I could do was feel. And all I felt was desire.
We stood there for a few minutes, me coming down from the wondrous high I was on; Edward's breathing becoming steadier, as mine did also. Our bodies arched and sank bank in together, reveling in the moment we had just shared. Edwards' fingers were no longer inside of me, but his hands were cupped around my breasts, holding me to him. My nipples hardened at his touch, the cloth was too thin to even be called a layer between us. He rubbed against the erect point, flicking at the small beads. I moaned softly and Edward kissed below my earlobe, leaving his saliva on my skin. I closed my eyes and breathed in the moment, trying to never let it get out of my head.
Edward released me slowly, backing away from me; I turned around and looked him straight in the eye, not knowing where this left him and me. He picked up my lost underwear and came forward to me; he knelt down and opened the silk panties for me. I placed one heel in, and then the other. Edward brought the cloth up my calves, kissing my toned muscles, moving up the silky skin while raising the thin material. His fingers traced up my things, bringing my underwear with him, kissing each side of my thigh, and then leaving a trail of kisses up my flesh. My dress was being pushed up with his hands, his head below, still kissing my thigh. He took a swift motion and placed the underwear on the correct spot on my body and then let my dress fall over my milky skin. He leaned back and then stood upright, his body pressing on me.
He kissed me once more; I opened my mouth to allow him entrance and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me. His tongue encircled my mouth, tasting me as I tasted him. His hands were pressing on my back, his lips sucking gently on my bottom, swollen lip.
He broke the enchanting kiss and leaned his forehead against mine, tracing my mouth with his fingers delicately. We stood there in the darkness for a few more minutes, rejuvenating and replenishing.
"I should be going," I finally whispered.
"Stay the night," Edward whispered back.
"You know I can't do that," I replied against his skin.
"Why? Everyone is gone, no one will be there. I'd rather you here and safe than alone in that monstrous house."
"Then stay at my house, that way if anyone comes home, you can sneak out quickly. Stay with me in my room, in my bed."
"I could do that forever," Edward said kissing me chastely. I pulled back and walked over to the window and unlatched it, I opened and allowed the freezing air to entice me and surround me. I gave a quick shiver and then stepped out onto the metal balcony. My heels were protesting the iron bars of the floor, but I made it swiftly across the terrace and to my window. Edward was behind me, his hands on my hips, guiding me to my window. My heel got stuck in a crevasse and I began to slip, Edward's hands caught me and I grinned up at him.
"Thanks," I managed to say, his features were much fiercer than before, his eyes full of protection.
"Any time," he whispered strongly. "Let's get you inside."
"We should have used the front door," I laughed as I was planted upright and gently pushed toward my window. I leaned my weight on the glass as it swiftly opened, I was about to go in when Edward gripped my body and turned me around to him, he wedged himself in between the window and me, and then jumped down to my bedroom. He held a hand up to me and I looked at it uncertain.
"Do you trust me?" Edward spoke confidently.
"Yes," I answered back simply. I placed my hand into his and leaned on it as I jumped down and into his arms. His grip was firm and strong, and he kissed me once I was fully in his arms, and then let me down to my feet.
I took off my shoes and placed them in the closet as Edward went and searched the house for any dangers, he was too cautious I thought. I laughed at myself for thinking that we would get caught, with Edward, no one would even know that we spoke.
I sat on the bed, massaging my feet at the torture I had them endure when Edward came in. "Is this yours?" He asked; he was holding a manila envelope in his hand.
"No, does it have any writing on it?" I asked.
"It says your name; I found it slipped under your door." I stood and walked over to where Edward was standing and took the envelope from his hands and looked at the writing. I didn't recognize the writing, so I tore open the packaging. Edward put on the lights and my eyes stung in protest. I waited for them to adjust, before pulling the contents out.
I emptied the package on my bed, black and white photos spilling out and across my comforter. I turned one of the pictures up, Edward pressed against me, looking over my shoulder. I could feel his uncertainty and feeling of danger, so I looked at the details of the picture. Edward's body and mine tightened at the same time in realization.
The pictures were of us, kissing on the stage of Julliard's.
Edward's hands were pressed into my skin, my body rigid in his grip, our mouths tangled in one another. Feelings of desire written out on each of our faces. Anyone who saw this would know the feelings that were between us, it was breathtaking to see the chemistry between our bodies.
Edward whipped through the rest of the photos, all of them showing our kissing at different seconds. I flipped the one I was looking at over and read the black writing.
You should be more careful, was all it stated. I handed it to Edward who looked at it curiously; he looked irritated that he hadn't seen this coming.
"Damnit," he seethed. He picked the photos up and shoved them back into the manila envelope. He took the package and placed it in my dresser, underneath a pile of clothes.
"You show that to no one," Edward said tensely, looking at me. "No one can ever see those, do you understand?" I nodded and Edward sighed in frustration.
"Looks like you were right all along," he said as he sat down on my bed with his hands through his hair.
"Don't say that," I pleaded. "It was just a slip-up. And besides, we don't know if the person who took those photos is our friend or enemy. They didn't send any threat or blackmail. It could just be a friendly warning." Edward nodded in agreement. I wrapped my arms around his head and as brought my stomach to his face.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I wasn't thinking this morning. I let my emotions get the best of me and forget that I had to be careful."
"You won't hear a complaint from me about what you did," I whispered back smiling at the memory. Edward chuckled into my dress and then pulled back.
"Thank you," he said. "You've made me so happy."
"I know," I teased. I bent down and kissed him on the lips, those perfect mounds enticing me to let him have me in every way.
"So what should we do?" I asked calmly.
"We need to be more careful," Edward said warningly.
"I was talking about what you want to do now," I laughed. He smirked at me and raised an eyebrow.
"Mind if we lay down, the night has been filled with so much excitement. I feel like I could burst," he chuckled.
"That'd be great, but do you mind helping me out of this dress, first?"
"Not at all," I turned around as he placed his hand at the zipped and slowly dragged it down; he kissed the inside of my back, trailing down until the zipper was completely down. He placed a finger underneath the strap on my right shoulder and dragged it off, then did the same with the other. His hands leaving trails of fire, exciting every bone in my body.
The dress came off in a final swoop and I turned around to find Edward staring at me with so much force. "You're far too beautiful for your own good."
"I think you are the only one to ever say that," I giggled as I walked to my dresser, allowing him a perfect view of my ass. I bent down, showing off, and opened the bottom drawer to pull out a t-shirt and shorts.
"You could leave those off," Edward noted.
"Why am I the only one taking off my clothes?" I laughed. Edward stood abruptly and unbuttoned his shirt, laying it on the bed post. His marble skin was glistening in the moonlight, his muscles stretching out and overtaking his body. His dark, erect nipples just wanting to be teased and nipped at. I dropped the newly clothes I was about to put on and stepped over to him, he met me halfway, taking my head into his hands and kissing me deeply.
I let my hands trace down his abdomen to his belt buckle. I started unclasping and unbuttoning his pants and then letting them fall to the floor. Edward kicked off the pants from around his ankles, along with his shoes and socks. Leaving us only in our underwear. Our lips still pressing on each other, arms wrapped around each other.
Edward picked me up around the waist, my legs left to dangle, and carried me to bed. He laid me down and put his weight on top of me, not breaking the kiss that held us connected. I broke the kiss to breathe, Edward gasping along with me. It was marvelous to hear the energy we put into our kisses, it left me breathless and wanting more.
"Let me see you," Edward said, his lips brushing against my cheek and down my neck. I couldn't say no to him, the glorious man who swept me off my feet. I picked his hand up and placed it to my back, helping him to unclasp my bra.
The cold whoosh of air hardened my nipples and the bra did off my body. Edward's eyes were now open and staring at the curves of my body.
"I never did get to tell you how beautiful you are," he whispered, kissing my chest, and then moving down, his tongue encircling my dark mound. His other hand kneading the other mound, pushing with force that I thought I would burst at the desirable pleasure. I moaned loudly and Edward tasted my creamy flesh. I could feel his pulsating member harden in between my thighs.
"You taste as wonderful as you look," he whispered. I placed my hands in his hair and massaged the thick skull. He moved back up to the base of my throat, and then to my neck, and then found his way back to my lips. He kissed me one last time and then rolled off of me and lay on the side of me.
I laid there, saliva glistening off of my breasts that were heaving up and down at the jagged breaths I was taking in. I rolled over so I was on my stomach, breasts out of sight, my head turned towards his body. Edward sat up and pulled the blanket that sat on the end of my bed, on top of us. He went back to his position next to me and kissed my shoulder.
"Who do you think would take those pictures?" I asked curiously.
"I'm not sure. You said Mike has eyes everywhere, I wouldn't be surprised if he had people in your ballet class specifically to be there to watch you." I shivered at the thought.
"I don't think you should come to Julliard's anymore," I said quietly.
"No, I don't think so either. I think we're only going to be able to see each other like this or when Mike has me watching you."
"Could you not say it like that? I feel like a four-year old when you do."
"Of course, I'm sorry. I just meant that when Mike has me make sure you do not do anything rash."
"What exactly is your job?"
"I'm not sure I can tell you."
"You can pleasure me all night, but you can't tell me your job description?"
"Pleasure you all night? That doesn't sound too bad."
"Focus, Edward," I laughed. "Just tell me."
"Okay, fine," he sighed. He propped up on one elbow and faced me; I did the same, pulling the blanket up higher so I could be covered thoroughly. "My main goal is to keep you from seeing anyone else."
"Looks like you already failed," I chuckled.
"You're seeing someone?" Edward asked with his eyebrow raised.
"Yea, no one you know though. He's charming, dazzling, and a good dancer."
"I dazzle you?"
"Frequently."
"Hm," was Edward's response. I rolled my eyes at his gloating.
"What else?"
"I make sure you don't leave the city."
"I knew that one, tell me something I don't know."
"Well there is one more thing…" I waited for him to go on. "I want to let you know that I am completely against it, in every way, but I had to agree so I was the one that got to keep you company."
"Go on," I urged.
"Well, I have to make you fall in love with Mike." I squinted my face in disgust. "And that means that I have the right to…physically make you." I gasped in surprised.
"What?" I said shakily.
"I'm sorry, Bella. It was the only way I could watch you. I would never make you love someone you didn't. The thought repulses me."
"How would you physically make me love Mike?" I asked astonished. I didn't really think there was a way to make me attracted to that ogre.
"If you didn't comply to love him, then I would…well, I would make sure you knew the consequences."
"You mean beat me up?" I asked, my eyes widening in fear. There would be no way I could stand up to Edward; he was bigger, stronger, and faster. I would be done for if he ever wanted to physically hurt me.
"Yes," Edward sighed. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. "I would never hurt you, Bella. Please know that. I would be disgusted with any man that tried to hurt you, that was one of the reasons I was so quick to take the job, along with my feelings for you. I didn't want some creep like Josh placing one stick of a finger on you."
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
"Because I didn't want you thinking that I was a monster for agreeing to something so volatile."
"I would never think you were a monster."
"But you think Mike is; he and I are doing the same thing."
"The difference is that he actually does it, you just say you will to protect me."
"So you're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad? You did it to protect me; it's a very romantic thing to do."
"Good, I was worried."
"Out of all the things to be worried about, you were worried I'd think you a monster?"
"Your opinion is very important to me," he stated simply.
"Why do you think that is?"
"Because my feelings for you are deep; I've never felt this way about anyone."
"Me either," I said yawning.
"Get some sleep, love," Edward said kissing my hair. I rolled back onto my back and turned to face away from Edward to close my eyes. Edward's hand pulled me to him, I was leaning into a perfect crevasse of his form, breathing in sync with him.
"I adore you, Bella," he whispered into my ear.
That night, I went to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time in a while.
So what did we think? It was my first lemon for the story...don't be too harsh. lol
I don't want them "going all the way" yet. I'm not sure why, we'll see.
But I brought back the tango with Edward and Bella, partly because I loved it with them and it just shows the amount of passion each one has. Also, the fights are monotonous, I know. But it's just how characters are. Hopefully they'll figure out their issues quickly. ha look at me, I'm talking like I am not writing the story. But the truth is, that I have NO idea what is going to happen. I just add things as I see fit.
Also, the songs for this chapter was "The A La Menthe" by NikkfurieIf you've seen Ocean's 12, you've heard it. It's the laser dance song) also, "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung. I love this song. It's magical ha and then I wrote this listening to "One of A Kind" by Placebo. Kind of a twisted song, but I still love it. Listen to the "A La Menthe" and read the tango part again. You'll like it, I promise. ha
I hope you liked this chapter as much as I did, PLEASE REVIEW!
xoxo
Brooklynn10