Chapter 11

A/N: This is a few days after Rose's funeral.

Mara's POV

It was one of those days that, although I wanted to see my mother, I knew, somehow, that she would not want to see me. I did not live with her. She had a home in Wyvern's Court, and some years ago, I moved into the dancer's nest; I saw her once or twice a month. One would think that is a horrible way to live for someone so tempted by the silence of Ecl, but it wasn't. It had always been worse at home.

I walked up the pathway to my mother's house and knocked sharply on the door. It was silent for a moment too long, and then I heard footsteps inside the house. The door creaked open. "Good morning, Selah," I called, softly so she would actually look at me this time.

A very pretty, nearly middle-aged woman stepped into the doorway, distrust in her bright blue eyes. Her hair was long and black like mine, but it was straight where mine was curly. Staring at my mother was almost like looking at myself; our faces were very similar, and when I was little, I sometimes doubted that I'd even had a father at all. But now I knew that that notion was silly; I was half falcon. I had my father's curly hair, height, and eyes, as I'd been told reluctantly. That was about all I knew of my father.

"Mara." Selah broke the awkward silence, hiding her obvious fear behind her reserve and holding the door open for me. She forced a smile. "Come in. It's good to see you."

I stepped forward and hugged my mother as I entered the home I'd grown up in. It pained me to feel her stiffen in my arms, but I made no comment on that.

"It's good to see you, too. I've missed you." The words were true; I had missed my mother. But I never, ever missed the way she received me. As if she'd created a monster. As if I was the human form of Ecl and would engulf her if she came too close. It pained me sometimes that she couldn't accept her decision of mating with a falcon

"How is work?" I asked politely. Selah embroidered cloth and sold it in the market. She really was talented, and I saw her from a distance every time I went into the market. So I knew business was good, that she was making more than enough to live on. But I asked anyway. Anything to keep away the awkward silences.

"It's fine," she answered. "Quiet. But fine." She lowered herself into a chair and motioned for me to do the same. I sat next to her, not missing the imperceptible flinch when I shifted closer.

"Selah, I'm not going to hurt you." I groaned inwardly; somehow, we always ended up talking about this. "Please stop acting like I'm going to bite you."

Selah blinked. "I don't know how you do it," she said quietly, shaking her head.

I frowned, confused. "What?"

"How do you just pretend that you're normal? How can you ignore that fact that the falcons might come someday to kill you because you're mixed-blood?"

Suddenly, I thought of Karma, her two friends, and Acelan. They were all mixed-bloods as was I. Selah and I had never talked about this before. "I don't understand." I did, though; the words were part of an attempt to smother my temper.

Her gaze flickered to the wings protruding from my back. "Doesn't being different bother you?"

I know my eyes must have blazed at that remark; Selah visibly shrank away from me. "Stop," she whispered, the fear visible in her eyes.

"I'm not doing anything!" I cried. To placate her, I shifted into my human form, letting my falcon wings disappear even though I felt naked without them. "You bring this fear upon yourself, Selah. I would never do anything to hurt you, yet you seem to believe that I will."

"It's wrong." Selah mumbled.

"What?" I demanded. I was angry; even though I'd promised myself I would stay calm today. She always seemed to find a flaw in me, as if she expected me to be perfect, a normal child.

"You're wrong," the raven said, louder than before. Her eyes were hard, her expression akin to the rock she was named for. "You shouldn't even be here. A falcon and a raven, they don't mix."

I stood up, my body humming with fury. "So you regret ever having me?" I nearly yelled. "Why didn't you kill me when I was born, then? Every time I come here I try to make amends, try to show you that I love you, but you always ruin it! Maybe I should just give up. Would you be happier if I never visited you? Would you be happier pretending you didn't have a child?"

My words were like individual lashes on my mother's back. She shook her head, cowering from me. Her own daughter.

"I'm leaving," I announced. It was too much trouble to get along with her. These were the times when Ecl especially tempted me. I stormed away, shouldering through the door and taking my falcon form to fly away as quickly as possible. I didn't look back to see the tears running down Selah's face because of my childish tantrum; I already knew they were there.

So I fled to the only home I had: Wyvern's Nest.

Taking human form, I walked into the Nest and instantly felt my anger subside. The music and dancing were my life and the dancers were like my family. I met Acelan by the fire and he looked at me with concern. "Everything alright?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, "I went to visit my mother, that's all."

Acelan nodded, he knew about my mother and her fear of me. "I haven't seen Karma in a while," He commented, "not since the funeral."

I nodded slowly, "I gave her a suggestion to bind her magic."

Acelan looked at me, confused. "What do you have in mind this time, Mara?"

I smirked, eyes dancing, "That you"—I poked him in the chest— "could help her with the dancing."

"I'd like to help," Acelan playfully shoved me, "But you'd better have a good excuse for this."

I rolled my eyes, "I do, trust me." My plan was to both help Karma bond with Ecl and to help Acelan, the hopeless flirt that he was. His last attempt at a relationship, three years ago, failed when he and the woman had a fight and she had called him a mixed-blood swine. Besides, he and Karma could work. Acelan danced here in the Nest to keep himself occupied, and I've always wondered what Acelan would do if he had someone to dance for. He's never participated in the Namir-da and it was time to give him a chance.

Acelan peered at me. "What are you thinking of now?"

I smiled, "Oh, nothing, "My voice a singsong, "Just about you and a certain someone."

Acelan laughed. "Who?"

I didn't answer and waited until a look of realization dawned his face, "You fiend." He laughed, "You're not saying I like her are you?"

I saw his eyes dance and laughed, "Yes, suppose I am?"

He bowed his head, and I saw his ears turning a bright shade of crimson. "So you do like her." I challenged.

He pursed his lips into a tight line. "I think I do."

I smirked, and clapped him on the shoulder. "You do, admit it."

Acelan sighed heavily, "I will when she knows…" He stood and left.

I just shook my head as he stumbled from the Nest. I suppose he was serious this time, I'd not seen him this clumsy and flustered in years.