New chapter up for whoever is reading this story. I believe there are a few. They're just not reviewing =(
I have some things planned and I will tell you at the end of this chapter.
Chapter 11:
M left not long after his teary moment. He had kept himself from crying but I knew once he was out of my sight he would let himself cry.
Most people thought guys that cry were sissies but I believed a real guy should let his emotions show. I didn't look down upon him about it.
He walked out with his head down as if he had lost his dignity and didn't care anymore.
I watched as he walked out the barn. His steps slightly dragged and he didn't look back at me.
I was curious and decided to follow him. I wanted to know if he was okay. I knew I was responsible for this and felt I needed to make sure he would be alright.
I crept to the barn door and peeked my head around.
M had stopped beside the paddock to where Buddy was trying to nuzzle him affectionately. The young mare seemed to sense M was upset and wanted to cheer him up.
I then wished I hadn't invaded in his privacy. My heart felt as if it were being torn into pieces. M was leaning against the fence with his head in his arms. His arms were resting on the fence and I could hear him clearly sobbing. Everything he had been holding in when he was in the barn was coming out at that moment full force.
His body shook violently and he was mumbling things to himself. Buddy nibbled at his black hair as if to say, 'Cheer up, you have me.'
"I love her so much," I heard him say a little clearer with a pained voice.
I backed away from the door almost ramming into the wall in my haste. I sure didn't want that. He would know I was spying on him and I really shouldn't have been.
Dear God in Heaven what have I done to him? I covered my mouth in shock. I hadn't thought he would have taken it this bad. He really did love me.
Heart pounding I forcefully scooped up feed, then mucked, and then finally put some hay out. After all that I really needed another shower but that was the last thing on my mind at the moment.
Dad and M were my worries. My hair was becoming forgotten.
I looked down at my watch and gasped. I had been here for over three hours. The Coolidges were probably wondering what happened to me!
I ran out the barn like it was on fire and quickly took the tall grass path back to Coolidge Castle. I bet Claire thought I had been kidnapped, knowing her. Bart most likely the same and Catman was probably worried sick.
I ran so fast and long my legs almost gave out on me when I reached the porch steps. I fell into a sitting position on the middle step with a groan. I had to rest before going into the house. The impact made a thudding sound and I heard footsteps coming toward the door.
My hand quickly came up to make sure the bandana was securely on my head and didn't give away my secret haircut.
The door opened and a shadow fell over me. I stared at the silhouette on the porch steps and walkway. The tall figure gave itself away immediately. I looked behind me up at seeing tie-dye and stripes, sandals, and blonde hair. No one wore anything of that sort but Catman.
I was still sitting on the step. I didn't feel like moving yet. I was afraid I'd topple over when I felt so tired.
I must have looked miserable because his surprised expression at seeing me turned to a worried one.
He dropped down beside me with a frown of his own. "You cool?" he asked gently, his hands were clasped in his lap. His piercing blue eyes were intently on my face trying to catch my gaze. He was making it hard for me to think without knowing it.
"I don't know," I tried to sound casual but he wasn't buying it. I allowed my eyes to meet his. I was afraid I'd give M away. What happened between M and I should be between only us. I didn't want to let Catman know. M felt bad enough as it was without Catman or anyone else knowing. It would have to be our little secret.
"You look like you lost your best friend," he squinted at me. He stared at me curiously as if trying to figure me out.
My stomach churned at his words. I just might have for all I knew. I tried to keep a straight face. "I've just been thinking about Dad," this was true. My mind seemed to be whirling around in circles from Dad to M back to Dad. I held my head in my hands distressfully. Tears were starting to prick the back of my eyes. I felt as if I was falling to pieces slowly. I felt so insecure and lost.
"Winnie," Catman said softly, he took my hands away from my face gently and made me look at him.
I stared up at him. My emotions were betraying me with tears that had started to leak from my eyes. I hated crying in front of Catman. It used to mortify him if I cried as I had last night. Looking back I think it was because he had feelings for me those many years ago too.
I tried to keep my eyes lids up to keep the tears from coming down.
Catman took my chin in his hand. He still wasn't going to tell me it was going to be okay.
I was mortified with my own self as a tear slipped its way off my face and onto Catman's hand.
"Whose next, Catman? First Mom, now Dad. Why does everything I love have to be taken away from me?" I fought the tears as I looked into Catman's face.
"I don't know," he whispered to me. He wiped a few tears away with his thumb.
I choked back on a sob. It came out sounding strangled. I couldn't take it anymore but I held on.
"Let it out Winnie, just let it out." Catman told me seeing me trying to keep my emotions to myself.
He was allowing me to let go. He didn't care if I cried in his presence anymore.
I felt as if I were to explode and did just as he told me. I didn't stop myself either. Why did I have to always be so emotional and unstable? One minute I was fine and the next bawling like a baby.
Catman gathered me in his arms tightly and for the first time I felt safe like no one could hurt me.
"Remember this Win, you'll never lose me. No matter what I promise," he murmured to me.
I felt peaceful and calm a few minutes later after that good cry. Catman always had this way of calming me and I was thankful for that.
"I love you, Catman," I said to him softly. I smiled through my tears.
"I love you too, my sweet, beautiful Winnie." He took my face between his hands and kissed me to prove his point as he always seemed to do.
I closed my eyes and kissed him back. Whatever would I have done without him? He was so important to me. It was hard not to think of him not in my future. All my future seemed to have him in it. It was unthinkable to even not think about him in it. I was so thankful to God to have this boy in my life.
Suddenly a car rolled in the driveway and stopped. Out came Lizzie out its passenger door. "Winnie! Winnie! I just found out Dad and his friend were on their way back from the Convention when their plane was lost. They think it's crashed somewhere out in the wilderness about 40 miles from Ashland off the Gladden Highway!" Lizzie was panting as she threw herself down on a porch step.
My heart sped up. Was it possible for us to search the area on horseback for them?
Big things up ahead people. Winnie, Catman, Lizzie, and M are all going on an adventure. A wilderness adventure. This is going to be fun I can assure you. A lot is going to happen.
The thing is I'm not going to update and spend all this time working on this story really hard unless I get some feedback first. I'm not asking for many reviews just a few. I don't mean this in a bad way. I just have other stories that need to be updated and I want to spend the most time on the ones that have a lot of reviews. If this gets a few I know its worth updating.
Tell me what you think =)