AN: YES! REVIEWS! Awww, we're finally at the point where I actually have to write the next chapter, instead of just copying and pasting from where it is on our other site…L Great, now I actually have to do work… But your reviews make it all worthwhile! And, amazingly, no flames! Wow! But now I have nothing to toast my marshmallows on…
Hyperkid: Your reviews inspire me. They really do. And yes, I (Jingles) have seen Dogma. Very, very funny. (Says in monotone: "I am the Medatron…") And if you have an idea for a costume for Shinrei, we'd love to hear it! We just couldn't think of one!
freya kurenai: Not being a coffee drinker myself, I'm taking other people's word for it about the decaf. But Sasuke, who I have tied up in my closet (traded Yukimura a bottle of rum for him, long story, don't ask) assures me it is as nasty as you say.
kyougu-neko: Why, oddly entertaining is our middle name! Our specialty! And yes, we are going to keep this going for as long as we can keep ourselves out of the loony bin. (Dr. White was our psychiatrist until Yukimura killed him…don't know where we'll go for help now…) We have ideas for at least three more chapters, and two more that are half written. (One of which is going up in this very update!)
Kitreilia: The Willy Wonka costume was a stroke of genius, I assure you. A gift of hilarity from the very heavens… Hey, you review a lot too! Keep it up, when you review, we update!
"Hotaru...?" Yuya asked. The man at the door shook his head. He looked suspiciously like Hotaru, in a boring grey-brown uniform, with the words "Haikanko Plumbing" in red on the front pocket, an odly out-of-place black mustache, and slicked back orange hair. He held a plunger in his left hand, held in front of him like a sword.
"But... We didn't call a plumber," Yuya said. Hotaru, who had been listening to all phone conversations on the Sanada line for six months, wondered what Yuya was talking about. (Yukimura had decided that his last name would be used when referring to the household.)
Benitora popped up behind Yuya. "Oh, there you are!" he exclaimed. "Did Yuya-han hold you up? Hurry! The toilet's gonna blow!" The plumber came in, and as Yuya turned around, she just missed a fat man in his underwear falling headfirst out the back of the plumbing ruck, looking silver in his duct tape binding.
Tora lead the plumber upstairs, not noticing the plumber's unnerving interest in the open bedroom doors as they passed. Tora stopped in the bathroom doorway. The toilet inside was gushing disclored water like a geyser, and seemed to be pulsing to a not so random beat.
The plumber said, "Is that toilet singing?" "Yeah," said Tora. "It sounds like 'Banana Phone' in D-minor." The plumber backed up into the hallway.
"Where are you going?" asked Tora.
"Umm... I think the pipes in the halls of these rooms might be plugged."
"Okay." Tora followed the plumber into Yuya's room.
Yuya had been following them the whole time and now dragged Tora downstairs. "Leave the plumber alone and let him do his job!" she nagged.
Yukimura, soaked in water the same shade as the water spewing out of the toilet, jumped out from behind a painting of a pagoda in the hallway, muttering to himself that the shouldn't have messed with the pipes.
Meanwhile, Hotaru, in Sasuke and Yukimura's room, noticed that the pipes in the walls indeed were plugged when one burst, spraying him, and the room, with tinted water, bits of plastic, and a large wooden spoon. Recovering from his shock (now with a red spoon shape on his forehead), he told himself to remember what he was there for. He reached into his bag and pulled out a camera. He installed it into the vent where he hoped it wouldn't be found.
Ducking under the stream of strangely scented water, he went on to the next room. The walls were pink. The bed was a mess of pink with white lace. The dresser was white with pink handles. Even the carpet was white, and frilly white lacy curtains covered the windows. Beneath the piles of random clothing were hidden money stashes. This was definately Yuya's room. He put a camera in her vent as well, and walzed into Kyo's room through the open closet doors.
The first thing he noticed was Kyo's screensaver. It was alternating between various SDK XXX pictures, a picture of Kyo triumphantly holding a bikini top at a pool, with Yuya trying to cover herself and retrieve her swimsuit top at the same time, unsuccessfully, and a picture of Kyo hugging her, and she had a very surprised look on her face.
Someone's finger, in the bottom of the picture, cut in on Kyo's wildhair touchy-feely moment.
Stepping over clothes and other questionable items all over the floor (a frilly thong, a couple of half-empty packs of cigarettes, lederhosen, an oddly out-of-place briefcase, a bong) he reached a tower of beer bottles. Hotaru was amazed at the idea of Kyo having a hobby. He put a camera in the tower, and one in his vent for good measure.
He then walked back across the hall into Sasuke and Yukimura's room, this time turning his attention to Yukimura's side. Rock posters on the walls, a playboy calendar to rival Kyo's, a sewing machine he guessed Yukimura used to alter his pants, a basket of sleeping kittens on the bed, sake bottles all over the floor. He noticed none of them quite spilled over to Sasuke's neat and impersonal side of the room. Hotaru installed a camera in his vent too, and was about to leave the room when a voice asked him what he was doing. Hotaru turned slowly and screamed like a queer leprechaun. Bontenmaru's head had surfaced among the kittens, one still asleep on his head.
"I'm um... checking pipes..." stammered Hotaru.
"Oh. Okay," said Bontenmaru. He resubmerged into the mass of kittens.
Hotaru ran out of the room, and into Tora's. He stuffed a camera into a tiger plushie and dashed back out of the room, only to be assaulted by a parade of squaredancing hippos. He screamed a scream even the queerest leprechaun would envy.
Yuya also screamed when a fat man, wearing nothing but whitey tighties and duct tape, broke down the door.
"I AM THE REAL PLUMBER!" he bellowed, and dashed upstairs with a golden plunger, emitting a holy glow.
The neighbors Chinmei, Okuni, and Kyoshiro crowded in the doorway. Chinmei sniffed the air.
"I thought only I knew how to make that!" He dashed inside and up the stairs. Yuya caught Yukimura chasing after Chinmei, screaming "No no no! That's mine you can't have any!" before he disappeared upstairs.
A gurgling noise announced the sink had fallen prey to the odd liquid in the pipes, and an explosion immediately following marked the death of a dishwasher.
Yuya ran outside when she heeard yet another scream. A police officer had Kyoshiro on the ground, screaming to stop resisting Mr. Demon Eyes Kyo. Another cop informed Yuya that the fumes drifting out of her house were definately from something illegal in every country in every continent, including Antarctica.
Just then the real Onime No Kyo came home from his routine trip to the topless bar. He asked the cop on the grond why he was molesting his nemesis, causing the cop to attempt to tackle him, shouting, "It's no use Mr. Demon Eyes! Give yourself in!" Kyo sidestepped and the cop did a bellyflop on the front lawn. Kyoshiro sneaked away.
Kyo cut in front of the standing cop and attempted to smooch Yuya. She screamed and ducked. Bad idea. Kyo tried to follow her down but lost his balance, bringing her and the cop down with him. They became a wriggling mass while the other cop made donuts in the grass with his chest hair.
Meanwhile, Chinmei and Yukimura fought over whatever illegal substance Yukimura had attempted to shove in the pipes.
Sasuke had awoken from his nap when the water level engulfed his little bed. He went into hysterics, for now his non-decaf coffee horde was surely ruined.
Tora watched all this, floating on a wooden spoon over the waterfall down the stairs.
Hotaru was high out of his mind and squaredancing with an invisible partner.
Meanwhile, the plumber, the real plumber, stood in the devestation in the bathroom. He held the golden plunger over his head and shouted, "Moon Plumbing Power! Make Up!" He then turned int Sailor Haikanko, protected by the Plumber's Guild.
Sailor Haikanko did a bizzarre pose holding his golden plunger daintily, and warbled, "Golden Plunger Healing!"
150 pounds of whatever Yukimura's illegal substance was came flying out. Spinning like a crazy rabis ballerina on drugs, Sailor Haikanko wailed, "Plumbing Crisis Restoration!" The water began gushing in the opposite direction, back down the toilet and drains. A dramatic wind blew from nowhere.
"My job is done here," Sailor Haikanko breathed. He immediately ran and jumped out the nearest window.