Author's Note: Chapter 9, Balancing Act, of this full-length novel finds a recovered Victoria Silver meeting with the NYC vampires to outline the threat to them; in L.A., Mick St. John continues his investigation into the death of Sarah Whitley and tries to track down her probable murderer. In the DA's office, the situation grows complicated as Ben Talbot looks more closely at Mick, and Jamie Sommers maneuvers to get closer to Beth Turner and meet her vampire boyfriend. Who can be trusted?

Please note that this chapter is rated M for strong language and sexual content. The complete chapter can be viewed at capeandsaber(.com) with embedded music and videos.

Beta: Co-authored with Brat, with invaluable beta assistance from treezacarr, margroks, and casi2.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I am re-posting as I forgot to add that, due to holiday commitments, Chapter 10, Distractions (one of my personal favorites)

will not be posted until Jan. 7. Happy New Year everyone!

Chapter 9

Balancing Act

Intro Song:
"Undisclosed Desires" by Muse
youtube(.com)/watch?v=R8OOWcsFj0U

Wednesday was a lost day for Beth. Though she had made a valiant effort to go to work as normal, the stress, worry, and activities in the pre-dawn hours had exhausted her to the point of near uselessness. Both she and Mick needed to recuperate, and reconnect.

What we need isn't always what we get, Beth thought to herself, looking around the empty penthouse in frustration. She had tried to convince Mick that he needed a 'day off', to no avail. Even when she pointed out that Ben offered her time off due to her "family emergency, and it would look suspicious if she didn't take him up on it, Mick had insisted that he needed to follow up on the New York City investigation.

"Just don't be gone too long, okay?" She laced her fingers together at the back of his head, holding him in place as she looked into his eyes, frowning at what she saw there. So tired…so worried.

"I won't, I promise…scout's honor." Mick made the sign of the cross over his heart and held up his hand to pledge to her. "I was a boy scout when I was young, you know – and a damn good one."

Beth laughed at that in spite of her worry. "Why do I think you probably broke every rule in the handbook?"

He shook his head ruefully. "You know me too well already." He bent his head to kiss her. "Take a nap; I'll be back before you know it."

With that, the vampire was gone, the feel of his lips on hers lingering behind him, leaving her alone with her worry. The fact that he had not been able to solve the mystery of Sarah's murder - or Victoria's attack - was clearly weighing on Mick. Even so, she could tell that he appreciated her concern for his well-being. If only he'd be concerned for his own welfare...

Beth sat up with a start, pushing against the soft butterscotch-colored cushions on the couch, to see an amused private investigator sitting at the other end, sipping the ruby-colored elixir that kept him alive.

"Mick! You came back! What made you change your mind?" She pushed her disheveled hair out of her eyes.

He shook his head in amusement. "Um, I was gone for four hours, Beth! I saw Logan and went to Josef's to give him an update – you were out like a light when I got back."

Chagrined, she glanced at her watch – it was after noon! "I can't believe I slept that long; it felt like you had just left!"

Mick put a comforting hand on her leg. "Beth, you needed it. And, from the looks of you, you could use some more sleep at that."

She laughed. "Is that your kind way of telling me I'm a mess?"

"Nope. Just my kind way of telling you to go up and make use of that bed we bought. I need some freezer time anyway, so why don't you come wake me up around seven and we'll go out to eat?"

"You mean I'll eat, don't you?"

"You know I don't mind. I enjoy just spending time with you - your company is my nourishment, corny as that may sound." He rubbed his hand up her leg lightly, the touch of his fingers sending shivers up her spine. "Promise to wake me up if I'm not up by then?"

She crawled on her hands and knees across the couch to the vampire, planting a kiss on the 'v' of skin showing at the top of his navy Henley shirt. "It doesn't sound corny, it sounds... sweet." She laughed as he rolled his eyes and grimaced, a quintessentially male response. "What if I'd rather eat… in?" she asked in her sexiest voice, tilting her head to look up into his eyes.

He kissed her then, a long, lingering kiss, full of love and passion, before moving his lips to her ear. "That could be arranged," he whispered throatily.

They didn't make it out of the penthouse that evening.

Thursday saw a return to normalcy - or at least the Mick and Beth version of normal. The old Mercedes roared down the freeway in the morning sunlight, heading toward the L.A. County District Attorney's office. It was earlier than her normal commute to work, but she was feeling exceedingly guilty about taking the previous day off, given her current case load.

Mick St. John stared at his passenger over the top of his sunglasses, eyebrows raised. "What has gotten into you, Beth?"

The object of his attention was currently leaning toward him, hand seductively caressing his thigh. "This is me... but only when I'm with you." Her blue eyes looked innocently up at him, her smile sweet.

"It's not going to distract me from continuing this conversation with you, you know." He had tried to broach the subject with her the previous evening, but Beth had resisted, and he hadn't wanted to ruin a rare day of relaxation for her by forcing the issue. And now...

She sulked. "This is not a conversation. This is brooding. You are brooding. That's why I didn't want to talk about this last night! You are just so, so... OCD over this whole thing!"

Mick shook his head emphatically. "I'm not brooding. You don't understand. And, I realize it's not your fault - there is no way for you to be able to understand. I would just never forgive myself if I hurt you."

Beth removed her hand from his leg, and crossed both arms across her chest defensively. "Oh, so now you're being pejorative. I'm not a child, Mick. I understand more than you give me credit for, but you keep insisting on treating me like a kid about this."

Mick contemplated interjecting that he had, in point of fact, known her as a child, but her current mood made him think better of it. "Beth, I told you sex with humans doesn't end well - and, most of the time, it doesn't. I'm trying to keep that from happening with us."

Beth hesitated. "I get it, Mick. You don't want to hurt me, not even accidentally." One small hand stretched to rub his cheek. "And that's one of the reasons I love you." She paused again. "Maybe - no, hear me out - maybe we should find a way to allow that part of you to come out. Under control. It's part of you, after all."

One eyebrow raised notably above the line of his sunglasses. "Look, Beth, I appreciate your... adventurousness. I really do. It would be fine if it were as easy as all that. The problem is that I'm afraid that I won't be in control." He repeated, "You just don't understand."

Beth blew out another breath in frustration. There it was again. The Great Wall, the thing that always put a layer of separation between them. "You keep saying that. Maybe I would understand if you'd actually tell me what goes on with you. I've asked you this before, but you keep shutting me out. You have to let me in, Mick, if there is any hope for us."

"I guess this really isn't a conversation for the drive to work. My mistake. Maybe we should wait and talk about this at home." He stared at her as they flew down the highway, his eyes impossible to read behind his dark glasses.

Beth stared back at him, arms still crossed. "And give you another excuse to put off this discussion? Uh-uh."

He gave in. "If you are going to insist - I'll try. But, this doesn't mean I'm going to change."

She gently rubbed his leg, this time with more affection than lust. "I never asked you to. I... I just want to know you - and I just want you - us - to be happy."

He was silent for a few moments, trying to determine the best way to start the discussion. There is no good way. "The most important thing for you to understand is that I am not really in control of this thing - of vamping - when I'm under extreme stress. Anger, fear, passion, pain - any of those emotions can cause me to change. And then the vampire kind of takes over." He stopped to glance sideways at her, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Okay... well, so far, no big surprises, Mick, believe it or not."

He smiled over his sunglasses at her, grateful for her casual acceptance. "If I catch it at the beginning, I can restrain the urge - you know, if I start to get angry, or when things got so... heated between us in the shower. When I chased down Tierney's killer and caught up with him on the fire escape, I almost vamped out in front of him. I wanted to, but I was able to repress it. Once I'm caught up in it, though, it becomes very difficult to control. When I've crossed a certain line, it's like surfing a big wave - you have to ride it through to the end. The problem is, I don't always know exactly where that line is, or when I'm too far gone. To 'let it out', as you suggest, is playing with fire. What if I can't rein things back in? I don't want to risk you, Beth."

"But, is it good for you to stop ALL the time?"

He hesitated - for that question, he had no ready answer.

They continued toward Beth's office in silence.

Talbot sat staring at the papers and photographs fanned out on his desk, a frown gathering like a storm cloud on his face. It was becoming a morning ritual for him. Whenever possible, he would arrive early at the office - before most of the staff, before the phones started ringing, before his attention was pulled in ten different directions at once. Grabbing coffee, he would close his office door and spread out the pages of Mick St. John's file - credentials, case records, photos, his and Josh's notes.

Every morning, he read over the information, sifted through the records, reviewed the photographs - and every morning, the puzzle of Mick St. John remained unsolved. There was something going on with the P.I., he could feel it. Whatever it was, it went far beyond the fact that St. John had - purposefully or not - stolen Joshua Lindsey's girlfriend. And, just how did Beth play into all this? The answers had to be here, somewhere in all this information, if he just put the pieces together in the right way.

And then there was the matter of the list. That goddamn list! He pulled it out of its separate folder and placed it neatly on his desk, in the spot he had reserved for it when he arranged the papers from Mick St. John's file. Talbot liked order in his universe - which was why the list was driving him to distraction.

It had appeared suddenly, shoved under the door one evening, shortly after he set up his office. Most likely, it was someone's idea of a practical joke. Jerking the new ADA's chain. Some of the names on the list certainly supported that theory. He picked up the list and flipped through it yet again. Sir Thomas More, Gaius Julius Caesar, Vlad Tepes...Francois de-fucking Sade?

He knew he should discard it. It was a red herring that distracted him from the hard facts related to Mick St. John, which was why it resided in its own, separate folder. What stayed his hand were some of the not-so-bizarre, yet still unexplainable, names catalogued there. The Monaghans; Pierce Anders, the psycho plastic surgeon who had abducted Beth and him; Josef Kostan, one of the country's wealthiest men; Mick St. John... Not to mention that some of the names, including the Monaghans and Anders, were crossed out. And, all three of them mysteriously disappeared…

He slurped the last of his coffee , wrinkling up his face at the now-cold beverage, and looked up to see members of his team filing in to their cubicles and offices. Phones were beginning to ring up and down the hall. With a last glare at the puzzling photographs - how the hell did he walk away from that - he carefully placed the information back into the accordion file he had unloaded an hour earlier, no closer to answers than when he started. It was time to get on with his day and the many pressing cases facing his office. Another morning ritual completed. More like obsession...

For the remainder of Chapter 9, Balancing Act, along with associated pictures and music that the FF system is not able to accommodate, go to:

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Please note that, due to holiday commitments, Chapter 10, Distractions, will not be posted until Jan. 7.