Chapter 11

Tris wakes in the middle of the night to the sound of a thunderstorm. Thunder echoes all around while flashes of lightning light up the late night sky. She moves out of bed and puts on her robe. She moves silently through the house to the front hall where she opens the front doors and steps outside onto the large front porch.

The sound of the pouring rain relaxes her as the thunder reverberates through her body, vibrating her core. It's both comforting and exciting at the same time. She's always loved the sound of fierce thunderstorms when she was a child, the sounds were just enough to drown out the thoughts that always plagued her about her family and the injustices that she watched around her.

Tris moves toward a group of rocking chairs that line part of the porch and sits to watch the storm moving all around the house. The rain pelts the house harder as the thunder gets louder and louder. This is one of the worst storms that she's ever witnessed, but it's phenomenal. The sound is so loud that she doesn't notice the presence that moves toward her and sits in a chair next to her. When she sees the movement next to her she jumps slightly with surprise.

"Hello Tris, I guess I'm not the only one that enjoys storms," Tobias declares.

"I've always loved storms, they are so soothing but so powerful…" she trials off as another lightning bolt flashes across the sky creating the illusion daylight in the darkness just for a moment and the crash of thunder resonates on all sides of them.

Tobias smiles, "The day my mother died, there was a horrible storm outside and I swore when I looked up into the sky, I saw an image of her in the clouds. Ever since, storms calm me, like it's her saying hello or something."

Tris looks at him in surprise and smiles, he's usually so guarded with his feelings and who he really is, she likes it when he's like this. "So, how long are you and Zeke here for?"

"We are going to have to leave next Monday. We are meeting the rest of the regiments near here just outside of Philadelphia. About 150,000 men are moving north and are set to converge near here to cut off the Rebels before they move too far into the north."

"When I'm better, how will I know where you are?"

He sighs and looks down, "I wish you wouldn't try to rejoin. Why can't you just stay here and wait for our return? You'll be safe here."

"Tobias, I thought you understood."

"I'm sorry Tris, but I don't. I don't understand why you want to risk your life."

"I just need to be there. I need to…" she trails off. For so long this has been about righting the wrongs of the past, but now things are different. Why does she need to be there? She no longer feels like it's her job rectify the past. Since she's been reunited with Christina, she no longer feels like it's her job to fix everything. So what is driving her now? Is it Zeke? But Zeke is a colonel and is more than capable of taking care of himself and if she's there she knows that he would lay down his life for her. Is that what she wants? Then she looks at the man sitting next to her and suddenly she realizes why she wants to go back. She wants to be near him.

She knows that he will be leaving soon, and the idea of being away from him unnerves her. She's never been able to let go of her past and allow herself to look at any man the way she is looking at him right now. She didn't look at him this way yesterday, did she? She talked to Zeke about him last night and he encouraged her to give Tobias a chance. Tobias has expressed his desire to get to know her better, he doesn't push or act like most men do, he's respectful and caring. All of the sudden she's completely nervous and doesn't know what to say. How did this happen? When did this happen? Her heart hammers against her chest as she quickly realizes that she's falling for this man. But, what is she supposed to do?

Tobias turns to her and sees that her usual strong, zealous demeanor is changed. What he sees before him is a beautiful, passionate woman who seems to be battling something within herself. She looks torn and almost frightened.

"Tris, what's wrong?"

"I… Um… Well, I've told you about my past and what happened to me."

He nods wordlessly, prompting her to continue.

"I always felt like I was too damaged for anyone to care for me, but then you expressed your feelings for me. I didn't feel worthy of your attention or…"

"Tris," he cuts her off.

"No, please let me finish," she says. "I didn't feel worthy of your attention or your affection. But then something happened. I don't know when or why, but suddenly I feel like I need to give this a chance. To give you a chance. That's why I need to go back, I need to be with you, to be near you. I don't think I could survive with you gone and not knowing what's happening."

Tobias stands and moves in front of her. He kneels down in front of her so he can look into her eyes. The stormy grey color of the sky is reflected in the stormy grey color of her eyes. There's fear and confusion there, but there's also determination and love. The unmistakable look of love is shining in her eyes. He's never seen this look in her eyes before, and he wonders when it got there. He smiles warmly at the beautiful woman that's in front of him.

"Tris, it's safer here for you. If you're there, I'd want to protect and that could put us both in danger, especially if someone finds out who you are. I know it's against your beliefs, but staying safe is more important than staying with me."

She shakes her head, disagreeing with him, "I've never felt this before, Tobias. I've never let any man in and I don't know how to handle these feelings. What am I supposed to do?" Tears start to form in her eyes. She tries to blink them back, but they begin to run over when Tobias takes her hands into his and kisses them both.

"Tris, I'm not asking you to be something that you're not. I'm just asking you to be safe. What if you return, as a woman, and become a nurse. You would still be near, but far enough away from the fighting that you should be safe. You could even invite Christina if you wanted. She's a trained nurse, something that the Union doesn't often have in its ranks. Together you could save many lives."

Tris thinks about this. She's never been good with injuries and being able to separate herself to do what needs done when someone is hurt. But having spent time in the Army hospital, she also realizes how important they are for the soldiers. Without the doctors and nurses, more soldiers would be lost to injury and illness than already are. She could help to make the lives of soldiers better. She could really make a difference there.

"I'll think about it," she tells him then smiles.

Her hands still in his, he stands pulling her up with him. He moves behind her and wraps his arms around her body as they watch the storm wreak havoc on their surroundings. She nuzzles herself into his body and he tightens his grip on her. She's never felt so safe and cared for.

"Tobias?"

"Yes Tris."

"What happens now?"

"Now we get to know each other better and wait to see if we have a mutual attraction or not."

She turns in his grasp and looks into his eyes. Suddenly she feels like being bold, like she should do something to let him know that this attraction is definitely mutual and that she's willing to let him into her world. She reaches up onto her tiptoes and places a kiss on his cheek. When he looks down at her a bit surprised, she blushes at her forwardness. But then he returns her gesture when he leans down and kisses her on the lips. They stay like that, her wrapped in his arm and them kissing for a few moments before they pull apart.

"I'm sorry…" he begins; worried that she may be unnerved by his aggressiveness. He doesn't want to frighten her or make her uncomfortable in any way. But she immediately cuts him off.

"Please don't apologize," she says and reaches up and kisses him again. When they pull apart again, Tobias looks into her eyes.

"I was beginning to think you would never kiss me like that," Tobias whispers as he places his forehead to hers.

"Why?"

"It's just… you've been through so much. I was starting to think that it might be too much for us to overcome."

"And now?" she asks looking into his eyes.

"Now I think we will be okay."

Tobias backs up, bringing her with him. He sits in one of the rocking chairs and pulls her into his lap. They sit together watching the rain, Tris in his lap with his arms wrapped around her small frame. After some time, the constant thunder and rain and the motion of the chair rocks them both to sleep.

When Christina wakes in the morning, she goes to Tris' room to check on her wound and change the bandage. She knocks on the door, but when she gets no response, she opens the door and announces her presence.

"Tris, I'm here to check your wound, are you in the bathroom?" Christina asks.

She looks around the room and sees that the bathroom door is wide open and Tris is nowhere to be found. She walks down to the kitchen and dining room area and Tris isn't there either. Zeke walk into the room and takes in the concerned look on Christina's face.

"Colonel, have you seen Tris? She isn't in her room or anywhere down here."

"No I haven't, but I'm sure she didn't go far," he smiles. "Come on, let's take a look outside. She loves thunderstorms; maybe she wandered outside to watch the storm last night.

When they get outside they find Tris on Tobias' lap and they are both sleeping on a rocking chair. Christina smiles at Zeke and they both turn to go back inside of the house.

"Well, I guess she took my advice," Zeke said.

"What advice was that, if you don't mind my asking, Colonel?"

"First, stop calling me Colonel. My name is Zeke. And the advice was if she was ever going to let a man into her world, he would be the one that she should let in. He's been pursuing her for almost two months now and she hasn't shown any interest. I've tried to do the big brother thing and told him to back off, but he refused. I know he's a good guy, and I know he's her match, though."

Christina smiles, "Should I wake them? They are going to be so sore from sleeping like that all night."

"Yes, you probably should. Thank you, Christina."

She turns and goes back out onto the porch. "Tobias, Tris, Its morning," she tries to say gently. Tris stirs a little, but Tobias tightens his grip on her and she just nuzzles into him more. "Tris, wake up," Christina says more firmly. "Colonel, its morning."

Tobias opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is the beautiful woman in his arms sleeping. Then he looks up to see a smiling Christina.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but I was so scared when I went in to care for her wound and she wasn't in her room," Christina says.

"No, it's fine Christina. And please call me Tobias. I'll wake her and send her in to the house in just a moment."

Christina nods and turns to go back into the house.

Tobias looks down at Beatrice and kisses the top of her head, "Tris, wake up. We slept outside."

Her eyes flutter open and she starts to panic a little when she realizes where she is.

"Oh God, Tobias, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on your lap."

"Calm down, it's okay," Tobias says rubbing her back. "I'm certainly not complaining." He leans in and kisses her lightly on the lips. "Christina is looking for you to clean your wound and change your bandage. Then it's probably time for breakfast."

"Alright," she says through a yawn. "I can't believe we slept in a chair last night."

"It was the best night sleep that I've gotten in ages," he smiles and kisses her once more. "You better get in there before Christina comes back out looking for you. For some, this could be considered scandalous."

"Not for Christina, she had a secret romance going on with my brother. Talk about scandalous, a white boy and a black girl in the south? They both would have been punished severely, but they were both good at hiding it."

"Well, Johanna is a bit more reserved so we don't want to offend her."

Tris nods and stands from his lap. She tightens the robe around her body and moves toward the front door. But before she can take the doorknob in her hand, Tobias takes her hand and pulls her to him. "Of course, I don't mind being a little offensive," he says and kisses her firmly on her lips. He wraps his arms around her waist and her hands move around his neck. "I could get used to this," he tells her breathlessly.

She smiles, "I could too." She pauses for a moment and kisses him once more. She whispers just for him to hear, "I need to go get ready for the day, and so do you, Colonel Eaton."

He smiles at the formality of the name but the intimate way she whispered it made him feel so much more. She laces her fingers with his and leads them into the house and up the stairs. When they are outside of her room, he kisses her once more and she releases her grip on his hand. She turns and moves into the room where Christina is sitting and waiting for her to enter.

Once Beatrice is in the room and the door is shut, she leans on the door, closes her eyes, and smiles hugely. After all of her past horrors, she never believed that she would feel like this. She never thought that she would meet a man that could evoke such emotions in her. But Tobias does. She doesn't know how he did it, but he managed to break down enough of her walls to find his way into her heart.

She looks up and sees Christina sitting on her bed smiling. "So you and the colonel? When did that happen?"

"I'm not sure actually. We've worked together a couple times. He even used me as bait to lure a group of Rebel soldiers into a trap once. He volunteered to go with me on a scouting mission. But I don't know when he managed to make his way into heart like this."

"Tris, after all you've been through you deserve it. He seems like a good man."

"He is Christina," Tris says smiling ear to ear.

"Well, I'm not sure I know what to do with a happy and in love Beatrice. I'm used to the surly and stubborn," Christina scoffs.

This comment causes Tris to stop, "In love? Do you really think I'm in love?"

"Tris, that's what that feeling is. You know the thing that makes you smile like you are, that makes your heart hammer in your chest and the fluttering in your stomach. Of course you're in love."

Tris looks at her friend in shock, she really didn't realize that this is what love feels like. Suddenly she feels sick to her stomach. She runs into the bathroom and throws up a little. She looks at herself in the mirror. 'Love?' she thinks. 'Is that possible?' Suddenly she feels nervous and terrified, her stomach is flipping around, is she really in love? She strips out of her robe and nightgown and gets into the bath, the entire time thinking about what her feelings really are. She's in love, she can't deny it to herself anymore, she really is in love. Once she's washed she replaces the robe and exits the bathroom.

"Are you alright?" Christina asks concerned.

"I'm fine, I'm just… in love," Tris declares.

Christina smiles, "Come here, let's get this wound of yours cleaned and covered so you can get dressed."

While Christina cleans and covers the wound, Tris talks to her. "Christina, he asked me not to return to the Army. When I told him that I needed to be near, he asked me to become a nurse with the Union Army. He said that way I could be near but away from the fighting."

"That might be a good idea, Tris."

"Would you come with me? I don't know if I could do that alone. I've always had Zeke with me in the Army. I don't know if I could do that kind of work alone," Tris pleads.

Christina smiles, "I absolutely would go with you. Especially if it keeps you out of the fighting."

Tris wraps her arms around her friend and hugs her tightly. She whispers her fear into Christina's ear, "What if he doesn't feel the same?"

"Tris are you kidding? It was obvious from the first time I saw you together. He is completely in love with you, but holding back because he's afraid to scare you off."

Just as Christina finishes her sentence, there's a knock on the door. Tris goes to the door and opens it to find Shauna standing there smiling at her.

"You slept on the porch with Tobias?" she asks with a smirk.

"It's nothing, Shauna."

Shauna looks deep into her cousin's eyes and suddenly smiles, "Oh my God, you're in love with him."

Tris drags her into the room and closes the door, "Shhh…. Shauna, stop it."

"You really are, aren't you?"

"Okay fine, maybe I am."

"Oh Tris," Shauna exclaims and pulls her into a hug. "He's such a good man and he's head over heels for you."

"See, I told you. We all have seen it. You were just too involved in the past to see what is right in front of you," Christina says.

Shauna nods her head in agreement, "Tris, he really is a great man. He's been friends with Zeke for years. There are not many people Zeke would trust with his life or the life of his family, but Tobias is definitely someone he trusts."

From down stairs they hear the Zeke calling to them, "Ladies, breakfast is ready."

Shauna takes Tris' hand, "Come on, let's go eat."