Chapter XI: Ties to the Past

It was a sunny Tuesday in the beginning of May. Not expecting her father to be home, Alexandria opened the front door and threw her schoolbag carelessly on the living room floor.

"Ally, honey, what did I tell you about dropping your things everywhere around the house?" a voice shouted reproachfully.

"Dad, you're home!" Alexandria cried, surprised. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I left early", Thorne said. "After all the extra hours I've been putting in lately trying to get the company off the ground, I think I've earned it. Besides, we're having guests."

"Really?" Alexandria asked. "You didn't tell me. So, who's the mystery visitor?"

"I've invited Karen Spencer and her partner Danielle over for dinner", Thorne said. "Karen's an old friend and the two of them live just down the beach. We've been saying for weeks we should get together some day and do some catching up."

"Sounds great!" Ally said, smiling. "What are we having for dinner?"

"I'm preparing my own very special chili a la Thorne."

"Even better!" Ally laughed. "But you shouldn't call it 'a la Thorne' because in French 'la' is feminine so that would be like you are a woman."

"You are too smart for your own good, you know that, right?" Thorne joked.

"I know. It's a curse", Alexandria replied gravely. "Why are there five plates on the table?"

Thorne took a deep breath.

"Because I also invited Taylor. Ally…" he added when he saw the expression on his daughter's face change instantaneously, "you have to give her a chance. She is a good person and she is making an effort to get along with you. You know how I feel about her…"

"Dad, don't", Alexandria interrupted. "I know what you are going to say. I've heard it all before, remember?"

"Will you please at least try to be civil with her tonight?" Thorne pleaded. "For me?"

"I can try", Alexandria said coldly. "I can't promise I will succeed."

Thorne sighed. Deep down, he wondered if inviting Taylor over had been such a good idea after all. But he felt that they hadn't had much time together since the start of Eric's new company, and he really wanted Ally and Taylor to have a chance to become closer. Inviting Karen and Danielle had, in part, been an attempt to create a diversion so the situation wouldn't be so awkward for Ally, but it now seemed like that wasn't going to work. However, it was too late to cancel now. The chili was on the stove and Taylor must be in her car already.

A while later, the doorbell rang. As Thorne opened the door, he found Karen and Danielle standing there. Alexandria, who had been watching from the terrace outside, drew a sigh of relief. She went up to the two women and greeted them courteously.

"You must be Karen", she said, shaking Karen's hand. "I'm Ally. You're a friend of Dad's, right?"

"That's right", Karen said. "Nice to meet you, Ally. And this is Dani."

Thorne and Alexandria both shook hands with Danielle.

"And you're, like, Karen's wife?" Alexandria inquired.

Danielle smiled. Karen laughed, a little awkwardly at first, as her eyes met Thorne's."

"I wasn't sure if you'd told…" she began.

"Oh, Karen", Thorne said, smiling, "you know kids these days. They know a lot about the world. There's no point in hiding anything from them."

"Except for a past life as a pop star!" Ally added. "Apparently, that is a deep dark secret that must be kept at all costs!"

Danielle raised her eyebrows. Thorne laughed.

"Yeah, I do remember that you had quite a voice back in the day", Karen reminisced. "Though I have to admit I never expected you to actually go for it as a career choice. Always thought that was more Macy's thing than yours, anyway."

"Well, you know," Thorne said with a smile, "it was her fault. She made me do it."

His smile suddenly disappeared. There was a moment of silence, then the doorbell rang again.

"I'm sorry I'm late", Taylor said as she entered. "The traffic was really intense on the way here."

Alexandria inhaled sharply. Taylor had some nerve talking about traffic in this house! Aloud, she just said:

"Hello, Taylor."

"Well, ladies", Thorne said, trying to break the awkward mood, "dinner is served!"

"It smells lovely!" Danielle exclaimed. "Karen told me you are a great cook."

"Although his repertoire used to be a bit limited", Karen added.

Everyone sat down at the table. Sensing that Thorne, Alexandria and Taylor were all uncomfortable, Karen started relating vividly and a little nervously some of the many trips abroad she and Dani had made. Thorne and Taylor both seemed interested and Dani filled in some details here and there. Only Alexandria was quiet and detached. She hardly ate anything and spent most of the time looking blankly straight ahead. As soon as she possibly could, she excused herself from the table and went to her room. Karen and her partner looked at each other in confusion.

"She has a hard time accepting my relationship with Taylor", Thorne explained feebly. "It's a long story. Don't worry about it."

Karen threw Thorne an inquisitive look.

"Can I help you clear the table?" she asked.

Thorne thanked Karen, surprised. As they went into the kitchen, Karen felt the time was right to say what had been on her mind most of the evening.

"I know it's been a long time since we last talked and I'm probably being rude for asking…" she began.

"Not at all", Thorne said. "I know you always speak your mind, so go ahead!"

"Okay", Karen said. "Are you sure about you and Taylor?"

"You mean because of Alexandria?" Thorne said.

"No", Karen continued. "I mean because of you two. Is this really what you want? Is it what she wants?"

"Of course it is", Thorne said defensively. "We've been together for a long time…"

"And not much has come of it, right?" Karen asked.

"Where are you getting that?" Thorne said, starting to feel uneasy.

"Nowhere in particular", Karen admitted. "It's just something in the way Taylor behaves around you. She seems more like your friend than your… well, whatever she is. And the way you look at her…"

"What?" Thorne asked.

"I recognize that. You used to look at me the same way when we were dating. Like you are trying so hard to make it work that you don't see it's not meant to be."

"Karen…" Thorne began apologetically. "About you and me…"

"No, Thorne", Karen interrupted. "It's okay, I understand. Probably better than anyone. We were both confused at the time, we couldn't see the truth - that we were together for all the wrong reasons. But I have learned a lot since, about life, about love. And trust me, I know denial when I see it."

"Denial? What am I supposedly denying?"

"That's for you to discover", Karen said gently. "Maybe the same thing you were denying back then."

With those words, Karen left the kitchen.

Barbara was sitting on her bed, carefully counting the money she had hidden away in a vodka bottle. There still wasn't nearly enough, she thought. What little she had saved would hardly pay for the trip. And then they would be needing food, clothes…

There was a sound outside the door. Hurriedly, Barbara put the money back in the bottle and threw it back inside the drawer. Then she went to the door and opened it. Luckily, it was only Diana. The girl slid into the room noiselessly, and Barbara closed the door quickly behind her.

"How are things going down there?" Barbara inquired.

"Nothing much happening", Diana reported. "Luigi is busy again with some important business of his, so he's pretty much leaving us all alone."

"Good", Barbara said. "I'll be down again in a minute. I just got some tips at the bar and I wanted to put them away for safe keeping."

Diana looked at the drawer.

"How much do we have so far?" she asked.

"Not all that much", Barbara admitted. "But we're getting there."

"I wish there was more I could do to make money", Diana lamented. "But looking the way I do right now" - she looked down on her belly - "I can hardly do anything but wait tables. And even then I get more tired than before."

"Why don't you rest for a while?" Barbara suggested. "You need to focus on yourself and that little boy or girl you are carrying."

Diana took off her shoes and sat down on the bed, leaning her back against a pillow. It felt good to relax her swollen feet.

"I think it's a boy", she said.

Barbara smiled.

"Why is that?" she asked.

"I don't know", Diana said, "I guess I always pictured him as a little Noah. I like that name. Noah Carter."

"It's a nice name", Barbara said. "Carter, is that your mother's name?"

"I think so", Diana said. "Like I said before, I don't really know a lot about her. Only that she was sent to prison and I was placed in foster care. I was too young to remember anything about that. All I know is I have been moved from one home to another ever since. I never stayed very long in one place."

"Did you ever try to find your mother, or any relatives?" Barbara asked.

Diana shook her head.

"I wouldn't know how to", she admitted. "Besides, if they were interested, wouldn't they come to find me?"

"Maybe", Barbara said thoughtfully. She was silent for a while.

"Anyway", Diana said, abruptly changing the subject, "you know a lot about me by now, but I still haven't heard anything about you. Is Barbara even your real name, by the way?"

Barbara nodded.

"Yes, I'm Barbara. Barbara Brown."

"Barbara Brown. Barbie Brown. That sounds like a doll's name", Diana remarked.

Barbara laughed and admitted that Diana was right.

"I guess in a way that is how Luigi sees me", she said. "You see, we have known each other since we were children. We dated in high school. Then I ran away from home and we didn't see each other again until much later, just a few years ago actually. I was living in the streets at the time, I was a complete mess. And then one day I was knocked down by some thugs who wanted to steal what little I owned. Luigi discovered me lying unconscious in an alleyway and I would probably have died there if he hadn't found me, recognized me and taken care of me."

"Luigi?" Diana said doubtfully. "Are we talking about the same guy here?"

"He does have it in him", Barbara said. "And during those months when I was recovering from the assault, he was very gentle with me. He even hired a doctor to help me. It was a very confusing period in my life - my head had been injured in the assault and when I woke up I had to learn everything again. Walking, talking, basic general knowledge about the world and about my own identity. But Luigi helped me. I guess that's why I've stayed with him so long. He's my only link to who I was before this happened. He knows more about me than I do myself."

"But the way he treats you now…" Diana objected.

"I know", Barbara replied. "I guess he got used to me being helpless and dependent on him. He didn't take it too well when I started having thoughts of my own that sometimes didn't agree with his. So what could I do but try to keep him calm and not upset him unnecessarily? He was all I had."

"But what were you doing before you came here?" Diana asked. "Did you just run away from home and then you lived on the street all those years? How did you even survive?"

Barbara frowned.

"I couldn't say for sure…" she answered slowly. "My mind is still just a blur when I try to think about it. And, I mean, naturally Luigi could only tell me what he himself knew, up until the point when I ran away as a teenager. The rest is anyone's guess."

"So you don't remember?" Diana said. "That must be really scary."

"It is", Barbara said, nodding gravely, "believe me, it is."

"And still you want to leave him now, even though he's the only connection you have with your past life?"

"There comes a point when the future is more important", Barbara stated with conviction. "And not just mine, but yours and that little baby's."

There was a sound of someone ascending the stairs. Barbara started.

"That might be him!" she whispered. "I think you should leave now."

Diana got up, took her shoes in her hand and disappeared into her own room. Moments later, Luigi's large frame became visible in the corridor. He went straight to Barbara, carrying a large bottle of whisky and two glasses.

"I think it's time you and I had a little celebration", he stated, entering the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

"What's the occasion?" Barbara asked, not sure what to make of Luigi's unexpected good mood.

"Business is going well", he explained. "Extremely well. And that's all you need to know."

He poured Barbara a glass of whisky and another one for himself.

"Cheers, Barbie!" he laughed.

Barbara forced a smile and took a sip. The whisky was not bad. Or even if it was, at least it helped take some of the dark thoughts off her mind. Thoughts about money she didn't have, plans that might not work, a past she couldn't make head or tail of and a future that was very uncertain. Emptying the glass, she quickly had Luigi fill it up again for her. He merely grinned at her encouragingly.

"That's my girl!" he said.

She emptied a second glass, and maybe a third (she wasn't counting), vaguely aware that Luigi couldn't keep up with her. After a while, she started feeling better. She felt her limbs relaxing, got on the bed and leant back into the pillows. Maybe all she needed was a good night's sleep, and she would think clearer in the morning. Tomorrow, she would figure it all out. She closed her eyes.

Barbara felt the bed moving as Luigi climbed in beside her. He started caressing her hair gently. She shook him off.

"I'm tired", she said.

Luigi kept touching her hair, and then his hand moved down her neck and towards her chest. It was making her uncomfortable. She just wanted to sleep.

"Luigi, please", she pleaded wearily, "I'm not in the mood."

He didn't seem to hear her. His hands were still all over her, and he had started unbuttoning her dress. Barbara made one last attempt to push him away.

"No, stop…" she said weakly. "I don't want to…"

She still had some awareness that Luigi wasn't going to stop, but the sleepier she became, the less it seemed to matter. Sensing that she was too tired to do anything about it, she just let herself sink deeper into the pillows. Soon, she was no longer aware of what was happening.

Luigi bent over the sleeping woman and started kissing her passionately.

The brown-haired woman took off her sunglasses as she slid into the dark Internet café. She ordered a cup of coffee and sat down at a computer, cautiously keeping her thin gloves on. A life on the run had taught her that one could never be too careful. For that reason, she went to great lengths to avoid signing contracts or buying things that would require her giving out her name or address, even though she was living under an assumed name (one of many), and never kept the same address for long. All things considered, she thought, it was safer to go to a public place to use the Internet than get her own connection.

Opening the web browser, she typed a name into the search engine. Mary Warwick.

"Mary, you have done well", she said to herself as she reviewed the search results. "Student of psychiatry. Following in your father's footsteps, I see. I guess that could be expected - you certainly don't take after me. Never even want to admit that you've got my blood running through your veins. Ungrateful little bitch!"

A man sitting at the computer across the table looked up in surprise. The woman reminded herself that she mustn't let herself get carried away. She kept reading, trying to see if anything new had happened since the last time she checked. Apparently Mary had found herself a boyfriend, judging by the updated Facebook profile picture. The woman couldn't see anything else on Mary's account, since they weren't officially "friends".

She went on to search another name, one that she hadn't tried in quite some time because it usually came up with no good results.

Diana Carter.

Maybe it was useless - the girl could have changed her last name a long time ago. But then again, it was worth a try once in a while. Surprisingly, there was a new result that seemed somewhat promising. The woman read carefully on the screen:

"Teenage girl missing. Diana Carter, aged thirteen…"

The link led to the website of a Nevada newspaper. She clicked it, but the article was dated several months back and had expired. Her heart beating faster, the woman stared at the screen. It might just be a coincidence, she told herself. But the age was right, and the name. If she could only see a photo, if she could only find a copy of that newspaper, then she would know for sure. Finally, she would have some idea what had become of the little girl who had been taken from her - no, stolen from her. Stolen.

She rose from her seat, making sure to erase the web browser's history before leaving. It was a long shot, she knew that. But if there was even a chance that this Diana was the right one, her Diana, she couldn't let this opportunity to find her pass her by. All conventional venues, foster care agencies, advertising and so on, were closed to her - a runaway convict who was generally presumed dead.

So she decided to head for Nevada as soon as possible. She had stayed in this little town much longer than intended anyway. It was time to move on.

"Don't worry, baby", she whispered to herself as she left the café, "Mama's coming.