So I may or may not have traumatized zunga. My sincerest apologies, but it's about to get a whole hell of a lot more awkward. And in list format, to boot.
I do not own Naruto. Does anyone else miss Rock Lee and His Ninja Pals?
Tenten wasn't really getting much done these days. In the whole 24 hours since Sai had left, she hadn't even exited her apartment.
Although, she didn't consider lounging around her house yesterday an entire waste of time. It was often said that one learned something new every day. And Tenten had learned a lot of things in the past 24 hours. For example:
1. Sai, though not interested in a permanent relationship with her, was also not the type for a one-night stand
2. Tenten was actually a lightweight when it came to alcohol
3. Sai was into a wide variety of sexual encounters
4. One of those forays was a threesome
5. Sakura liked those too
6. The previously mentioned kunoichi was also bisexual
7. And just as good in bed as her boyfriend
8. Hangovers sucked
See, she had learned eight things in a single day. That was a new piece of knowledge every three hours. Tenten would pat herself on the back for being so far ahead of the learning curve if she wasn't afraid the motion would make her lightheaded again. She was still in her bed, very uncomfortably squished between two still sleeping and not hung-over ninjas. Seriously, her bed was not made to fit three full grown teenagers, no matter how horny. If she recalled correctly (though the pounding headache told her that might not be possible), Sai had actually fallen off at one point and banged his head on the floor.
Whatever, he deserved it.
If she wasn't already in agony (and sandwiched between two unconscious shinobi), she would have banged her own head against the wall. This had been a very, very bad decision. Like the worst decision she had ever made. She still had a hard enough time believing she had slept with Sai the first time, but now Sai and his girlfriend? This was too much. Whether she was over Neji or not, she wasn't going to continue with this. Judging by the pangs in her chest, it had done absolutely nothing to help. Not only that, but she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to look at Sakura the same. Last night had completely destroyed the dynamics of their friendship. What a mess.
"…"
Tenten managed to turn into a more comfortable position, and one that was better for listening. This didn't last long, since the other two flipped and threw their arms around her. Once they settled and she finally quit grumbling about it, she listened again, lifting her head slightly.
"Tenten!"
She scrunched up her face. Was someone calling her? She really couldn't tell over the light breathing of the couple that was practically smothering her (that, and the blood rushing in her ears. Alcohol and alert were not two words often used in the same sentence… Except for just then). She laid her head back down and rubbed her temples, hoping to ease some of the pressure between the two points. It didn't really help.
Resigned to a morning of misery, she tried to get comfortable again and get some more sleep. Maybe if she took a nap she would be alone when she woke up again.
"Tenten!"
Her eyes flew open. If it weren't for the fact that she had been trained not to, she probably would have sat bolt upright as well. If Tenten had been mortified by her behavior over the last two days, it was nothing compared to the paralyzing terror she felt at the moment. Lee was calling out for her.
Normally, if she was in her apartment, someone calling her name was not such a panic-inducing event. Her doorbell was broken, and people would usually knock and shout for her, despite the fact that the latter was a completely unnecessary action.
This was one of those few cases that did not fall under the 'normally' category. She realized belatedly that Lee had indeed been calling her name earlier. That meant he was really excited and running across town to her apartment. Which meant that he had something to tell her and was really excited about it. And, oh yeah, Lee would be excited.
Normally, excited Lee was not such a big problem. But again, this case did not fall under the 'normally' category. It had freaked her out the first few times, but she was used to it by now and could predict his behavior.
Excited Lee, when he discovered that Tenten was in her apartment while he was excited, had a bad habit of not knocking on the front door. He would either burst right in (he had broken the lock more than once) or, if he was being 'Really Excited Lee,' he would burst through her bedroom window, too impatient to wait for her to get out of bed and into the front room so he could tell her the news (and she could punch him).
So the question was, was he just excited Lee, or 'Really Excited Lee?'
Now in full panic mode, Tenten started praying to every deity that she had ever heard of that he wasn't 'Really Excited Lee' today, would just shatter her door, wait for her in the kitchen, and not find out that she had been sleeping with his first love who incidentally already had a boyfriend who was also in bed with them.
Hangover completely forgotten, body trembling, she waited, not even bothering to breathe. Holding her breath would not alter whatever was going to happen next, but if she was so horribly unlucky as to have her best friend see Sakura and Sai in her bed, then maybe the Universe would grant her the small consolation of letting her pass out.
"TENTEN!"
It was the moment of truth. Door or window, she was half a second away from finding out if the Universe hated her or not.
Sadly, it wasn't 'or not.'
The shutters flew open (as well as to the other side of the room) as the miniature green beast perched on the sill. He had the largest, brightest grin Tenten had ever seen plastered across his face. If Tenten's brain hadn't exploded, she probably would have found it an interesting contrast to the look of pure horror on her face and the confusion painted on the faces of her now awake bedmates.
There was a silence so deafening the deaf could have heard a pin drop. Tenten, somewhere underneath the mental screaming, was waiting for Lee to short-circuit himself. She had no idea if he would shout, ask a stupid question, or turn bright red and pass out.
As it turned out, he did none of the above. He blinked once, twice, and the smile started to very slowly melt off of his face. Once it had disappeared into a perfectly neutral expression, he lowered his hands to the sill. Then he removed his feet, slowly (almost creepily) lowering himself down onto a nearby tree branch. No one in the room moved until the top of his head finally disappeared. They all exchanged a brief look before leaning out of the window in order to see where Lee was. By this time he had lowered himself to the ground. He made his way down the street slowly, and the trio watched, waiting to see if maybe the mental breakdown would manifest as a delayed reaction. They waited until he was out of sight and even longer, expecting to at least hear a shout. But after almost five minutes of absolutely nothing happening, they finally pulled their heads back into the room and exchanged brief looks again.
Sakura and Sai silently dressed as Tenten sat on the bed, staring at the shutters that were now scrap wood sitting on the floor. The couple barely made a sound as they left, even Sai recognizing that now was not really an appropriate time or place to make a remark. The artist's unusual behavior should say something about how tense the atmosphere was.
Though she had been braced for the possibility (sort of), she still had no idea how to cope with the fact that Lee had seen that. She didn't even know which part she was supposed to address first:
1. Sai, though not interested in a permanent relationship with her, was also not the type for a one-night stand
2. Tenten was actually a lightweight when it came to alcohol
3. Sai was into a wide variety of sexual encounters
4. One of those forays was a threesome
5. Sakura liked those too
6. The previously mentioned kunoichi was also bisexual
7. And just as good in bed as her boyfriend
She did feel the need to mention that hangovers sucked, since she wouldn't be in this mess if the damn hangover hadn't messed with her hearing. (Of course, if she hadn't been drinking she probably wouldn't have ended up in such an awkward position in the first place, but that was beside the point.) She could have shoved them in the closet or under the bed or something!
As things finally started to sink in she buried her face in the blanket. Not only had she just humiliated herself (yes, she knew it was her own fault), but she had just hurt one of the people she cared about most. She had lost in love, screwed up one friendship, and possibly completely destroyed another one. Lee was forgiving, but Tenten doubted that even someone as saint-like as Lee could forgive such a huge betrayal.
Tenten was not one to cry. Kunoichis had to be tough. Crying was a luxury for those not in life and death situations on a regular basis.
It was a luxury she couldn't afford.
But it was one she desperately needed at the moment.