I think it was about here that I started to feel like I was writing a fanfict for my fanfict, since my Jessica/Ryan series is my main series. This story has characters based off that series and I'm writing something that I probably would never include in my main series. Is that weird?

Chapter Ten

"I didn't recognize myself at first; that first time I looked in the mirror sober. I thought I was someone else. Someone I didn't know. But now that I can really look at myself I realize that I became a different person. I didn't act like me and now I don't even look like myself."

Ryan slowly awoke from his dreamless slumber. He smiled at the sight of Natalia's naked body on the right side of his bed. He closed his eyes and sighed, remembering how they had made love the night before. That hadn't been her intentions when she came over to make dinner for him and his children, but it had happened, and he was happy it did.

He opened his eyes again and looked at her lovely face. He blinked several times when his eye didn't seem to focus right. He closed his left eye and rubbed it, trying to massage the sleep from it. Then he stopped and stared at Natalia as realization washed over him.

"Natalia!" he exclaimed, shaking her arm. "Natalia wake up!"

Natalia jumped slightly as she woke with a shock. "What? What is it, Ryan?"

"I can see!" he cried out, "I can see out of my right eye!"

Natalia shot up and looked at him. She stared hard at his right eye, as if she could actually see it working again.

"Close your left eye," she ordered. Ryan complied and she held up her hand. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two, five, one, four, six, well that's six in ASL anyways," Ryan recited as Natalia quizzed him.

Natalia stared at him in disbelief before she pulled him into her arms. "You can see," she whispered. "But how? I thought the doctor said the sight was gone for good."

"Maybe she's trying to tell me it's ok to move on," he whispered as tears filled his eyes.

Horatio stared at himself in the mirror. He really looked at himself. He was naked and standing in his bathroom before his floor length mirror. He turned sideways and ran his hand over his large gut and touched his flabby upper arms. He cupped his face with his own hands and just stared at his puffy face. According to his doctor he had put on twenty-seven pounds in close to two years. In addition his liver was damaged and his heart weakened. He couldn't believe it. He had truly let himself go. He had ruined his body.

He pulled on his clothes and walked into his bedroom. He tugged at the waistline of his pants. They were pinching his waist uncomfortably. He stopped and looked at the picture of him and his wife on their dresser on their wedding day. He had looked better back then. He looked at the picture of him and Jessica walking down the aisle of her wedding. They were smiling and happy.

Horatio began pulling open drawers on his dresser until he found his old work out clothes. He quickly changed his clothes and began stretching. He knew he wouldn't be able to run, not with the condition his body was in, but he was going to do his damn near best.

He began doing sit ups on his bedroom floor, his feet tucked under the dresser. After he accomplished fifty he rolled over and began the slow, pain staking process of push ups. Once he finished fifty of those he rolled over and completed another fifty sit ups. He changed into his swim trunks and a t-shirt and practically ran down the stairs and out the door to his pool. He climbed in and floated around for a few minutes, trying to adjust to the water's temperature. When he felt he was ready he pressed his back against the wall and just stared at the crystal water.

"This is for you, Jessie Bug," he said just before he took off in a breast stroke.

Arianna walked into her quiet house. She slipped into the kitchen and found a plate of food sitting on a shelf in the fridge with a note.

"Sorry we didn't wait for you. -H"

She smiled to herself and popped the plate into the microwave. She wandered upstairs and slipped into each of her childrens' rooms. She gently stroked each of their heads and kissed their cheeks, tucking their sleeping bodies into bed.

She tip-toed down the hall to her bedroom and smiled at the sight of her husband sleeping on his stomach in their bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and his eyes slowly opened and looked up at her.

"Hey," he whispered, rolling over to get a better look at her, "When did you get home?"

"Just a few minutes ago," Arianna whispered. "You look tired. What did you do all day?"

"Not a whole lot," Horatio answered. "Sorry we didn't wait for you to come home before eating."

"Horatio, it's eleven o'clock at night," Arianna chuckled. "I think I would be mad at you if you kept our children up that late waiting." She leaned down and kissed him gently. "Why don't you go back to sleep, you look tired."

"I guess I am a little," Horatio mumbled as his eyes lolled shut.

Arianna smiled and kissed his forehead. "Good-night, Horatio," she whispered. There was no answer. Horatio was already fast asleep.

Arianna smiled to herself and quietly left the room. She ate her dinner alone in the kitchen, like so many times before. Her thoughts wandered through space as she listened to the silence of her house. It had been over two years since Jessica died and everything finally seemed to be going back to normal.