AN:130609 Thanks for the reviews, you guys rock!, BTW I've already written the next 3 chapters, actually it have to be just one but the arc is pretty long, so please be patient because now is in my editor hands and she just came back from a short trip...sick, she is in bad mood, so better not to make her more cranky -if I ask for how the editing is going? she cuts my head off- so I'll wait. Sigh.

Don't forget to review, my muse tends to feel sad from time to time.

****

The following day, Caroline Cabot went into the Hospital with a small carrying case; it was one of the ones with the Cabot Foundation logo. This way it would look like she was there on official business and no for what it was a visit. Inside the case was a pair of pants, blouses and lingerie for Alex as well as toiletries. Just moments before getting out of her car, she had called Detective Stabler to let him know she had arrived. She told the chauffer to find a parking spot since she would be occupied for several hours then stepped out and headed for the hospital lobby. Just as Stabler had indicated he was waiting at the elevators on the floor where the ICU unit was located.

"Good Morning Detective Stabler. How is Olivia?" She asked in a worried tone, afterall she was her daughter's partner.

"She's still in a delicate state but stable. She's still under an induced coma; her wounds were severe and required several hours of surgery."

"What about her?" She did not dare say her name aloud. As the detective had told her discretion was a priority. No one must know that Alex Cabot was not only alive but that she was here.

"We managed to get her to rest in a private room reserved for relatives of patients in the ICU. It's only been a couple of hours she's been there, let's hope she's sleeping. She refused to take a sedative for fear of not being at Olivia's side if she should need her.

"I understand."

Elliot escorted her through the main hallway to the ICU where there were several doors. Alex's was the third one to the right.

"Go on in, I'll be out in the hall." He gestured to a seating area at the end of the hallway. "The only entrance is through there." He said in a low voice.

"Good, I know that I didn't tell you last night, but I'm sorry, it was such a shock to hear that my daughter is alive. Thank you for telling me the truth Detective." She smiled in appreciation.

Elliot nodded and opened the door softly; peeking to make sure Alex was fine. When he saw her lying down with her eyes closed, he stepped back out and let Mrs. Cabot go in. "Whatever you need I'll be right outside."

"Once again thank you." She whispered. Elliot shut the door and Caroline turned towards where Alex was, her heart tightened when she saw her daughter curled up tightly on the small bed against the wall. Alex face was covered in dry tears; it was obvious that she had fallen asleep crying. Very carefully, she drew near and extended a hand to touch her, she paused for a moment unsure before finally letting herself touch her, realizing that her daughter was truly alive.

"Oh Lexi," she sobbed soundlessly, "My Lexi." Her eyes filled with tears and with no strength left, she dropped down on the cot next to her daughter, cradling her face. Alex must have felt her because she woke up startled looking around her completely disoriented not knowing where she was before her memory came back.

"Mother" She gasped when she recognized her mother sitting next to her.

"Oh, Lexi" Her mother leaned over her, pulling her against her body. "Lexi, Lexi, I thought you were dead." She groaned in between sobs without letting her go.

Finally, the firm control that Alex Cabot had maintained on her emotions came crumbling down in a crashing wave. The tears and pain came pouring out.

"Mother, I didn't think that…Oh mom, she…she…my Liv."

"Shh, shh Lexi, everthing will be fine." Her mother consoled, hugging her and whispering sweet words into her hair. Both cried, one because she needed to let out the pain and uncertainty and the other for happiness that her daughter was alive. The circumstances might not be ideal, but what could it matter in that moment after two years of suffering.

Much, much later after Alex calmed down, her mother smiled at her and caressed her face in reverence.

"I am so happy to know that you are alive Lexi." Her mother confessed referently.

"It's been years since you last called me that." Alex said in surprise.

Her mother laughed softly. "I stopped doing it because you didn't like it, don't you remember? You were a woman and you said it did not fit you anymore. But for me you have always been my Lexi."

"I can't believe you're here." Alex confessed looking at her mother intently. She did not miss the shadow of pain that crossed her mother's features.

"How can you think like that Lex? I'm your mother of course I would come to be at your side."

"Forgive me mother but the last time that we spoke, we argued and you…" Caroline raised her hand.

"Alex I know what I said and I know what you must think, but my reaction or attitude was not for the reasons you think." She expressed uncomfortably "Whom you choose to love is your decision my dear, ain't nobody to forbide you to do so.

"But," she shook her head disconcertadly, "you yourself told me that Olivia was a mistake in my life, that she wasn't right for me."

"Alex I know you think that my antagonism towards Olivia was because she was a woman, that's not so Lexi, for God's sake, you haven't been the first lesbian in the Cabot family. Nor shall you be the last one; I do not care about that. What I care about… is you. Lex you lived in a world that was extremely conservative, over the years you always told me what your ambitions were in the office of the District Attorney. You told me repeatedly what your goals were. I was afraid for you daughter. Living in an open lesbian relationship would be not only a bitter pill, but also a constant battle to vindicate yourself in this hostile world.

"Mother" Alex blew out exasperated. "I know I could have thought a lot of things and said a lot of things, but I also told you that I never imagined I'd fall in love with her, or that her love for me would turn into the reason of my existence. Mother, I did not know and I swear to God that I never thought I would feel the way I do, but you seemed to be completely against my relationship with her, in every sense.

"I know, Alex, I know.' She took a deep breath. "It was difficult daughter, I had my suspicions about your sexual orientation, but you never openly gave any indication, it is complicated Lexi. When you finally came out of the closet, it was to tell me that you were in love with Detective Benson and that you were planning to move in with her. Lex, you went from a non-existent social life, rarely dating men and never more than once or twice with the same man to an openly lesbian relationship! What did you expect?"

Alex had the decency of blushing "I didn't want to disappoint you, but the truth is, I had never fallen in love and going out with the ocassional man was easier and less complicated, at least until I met her, I just wanted your approval mother, nothing else."

Caroline sighed and hugged her again. "You have it Alexandra, you have always had it.

Alex relaxed against her mother hugging her in return, just like when she was a child and her mother consoled her. "I'm really afraid mother; Liv is in serious condition, I'm afraid…"

"Lexi do not think that way, she loves you. She will fight to stay with you." She gave her courage.

"You haven't seen her mother, she is so pale, and she looks so fragile." She said with a shiver "I'm afraid that if I close my eyes I will be back in that horrible place, far from her. I prayed every night that it was only a dream and that I would wake up and I would be here in Manhattan with her, with you. I never imagined that my prayers would be answered this way. Not at a cost to her, her life. Mother I do not want to live without her, not ever again.

"Oh Lexi, have faith, don't give up hope." Her mother begged.

Alex just hugged her feeling the tears running down her face, after a few minutes pulled away a bit.

"Have you eaten? You are skin and bones Alex." She chided.

"I…no, I couldn't think of eating and on the program well…" She shrugged.

"Now that you are here, let us remedy that situation. Olivia would not like to see you this way, she would go crazy with worry that some strong breeze might blow you away." She said teasingly.

"Oh, it's not that bad." She denied.

"Oh, really? For God's sake Alex," her mother huffed. "Let me go see Detective Stabler and have him go buy something for you to eat, I know you can't go out freely."

"No." Alex agreed. "It's still dangerous."

"We have to discuss that Alexandra." Alex shrank away before her mother's reproachful and hurt glare. She knew her mother had suffered when she found out the truth, but she knew if she could go back in time and she had to do it all over again she would make the same decision. Although maybe just maybe she might have done some things differently…Alex would have asked Olivia to go away with her. After two miserable years in Wisconsin, she would refuse. Now that she knew what it was like to live without her she would never do it again. No sir, Alexandra Cabot knew she would soundly refuse to go anywhere if she could not live with Olivia. Not again, not ever again without her Liv.

"I know mother, I know." She looked at her steadily, making her see what she knew perfectly well, I love you mother but she is my life.

"I will be right back." Caroline stood and she lowered her gaze, it was so hard to see a daughter growup but it was much harder knowing that your daughter would love someone more than you. It hurt, of course it hurt, but in her case Caroline knew that she was equally corresponded.

I am sorry mother. Alex thought watching her mother go out the door. But I love her more than life itself.

With a profound sigh Alex stood, she had noticed the bag her mother had brought with her, which she assumed what the contents were. She picked it up and began to look through it.

"Oh thank God." She said aloud, removing a pair of jeans and a clean shirt as well was clean under clothes. Everything had a designer label. Her mother had probably stopped to buy everything before coming here. Without giving it another thought, she went into the small bathroom that was in the room to change. Things always looked much better when she was clean.

Fort the momento all she could do was wait, wait and pray that Liv would recover. Please, Liv, please. She murmured to herself. I do not want to live without you Liv, do not make me…

Please…

Don't forget to leave your comments :)