The Joys of Commentary

"Are you going to be talking all through this thing?"

"I did warn you."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect for you to be commenting on every little changed thing."

Tenten smirked. "Like you weren't pissed when they changed the cities?"

"The city was a cultural reference. They can't just change the whole ethnicity of the characters. It takes a way from the entire story," he answered with a glare.

"Mhmm…"

.

"Wait, what?"

"Huh?" Tenten asked.

"Who's that?"

"I think they combined a few characters to save space," she answered, unconcerned.

"What!" Kakashi nearly yelled.

"Movies do it all the time…"

"The fu- that's got to be the …" He gave his knuckles a loud crack. "I need to have a word with Jiraiya."

"He really doesn't have that much say, you know."

Kakashi smiled thinly. "Why don't you tell him that?"

Tenten just shook her head. "Whatever."

.

When the heroine came on screen, Tenten blinked. She looked kind of like her, except gorgeous, and with a figure to rival Ino's. But she had the same large brown eyes, hair, and there was something about her face that just reminded her of looking in the mirror.

Tenten's eyes squinted. "Bitch," she muttered, annoyed to see her doppelganger's voluptuous assets bounce with her every step.

"They're fake," she heard Kakashi calmly state beside her. He wasn't looking at her and seemed oblivious to her incredulous stare.

Tenten huffed. "If those are fake, then I want the name of her plastic surgeon," she said, turning her attention back to the screen.

Kakashi allowed his eye to drift slowly over to the girl and then back again with a sigh. "Anything more than a handful is a waste."

At that, Tenten let out a bark of a laugh. "Oh right, and next you'll be telling me that size doesn't matter."

"Never," he replied quickly, looking distinctly affronted at the suggestion.

Well at least he's modest, Tenten thought, giggling to herself. She then watched the girl on the screen closely. "They don't look fake to me."

"Watch closely at her side boob when she moves, you'll see it," he answered as though he were pointing out any odd observation.

Tenten stared hard at the screen and then she saw it, the tell tale sign that something was in there that wasn't supposed to be. He really must have been paying close attention when she first came on screen to catch that. Who'd have thought he was a breast man?

"Huh," Tenten uttered in a bemused voice. "So they are." She then turned her body slightly, "Good eye, sensei."

"Thank you," he replied simply and they both fell back into silence once more.

.

Tenten looked down at where Kakashi was continually hitting her thigh. "I know sensei," she exasperated once again.

"But its –"

"I know. I have read the books too, you know."

"Sorry," he said blithely.

"Then – stop – hitting – me!"

He stopped.

Tenten shuddered. That was the closest she ever came to seeing a grown man squee in excitement.

.

"I can't believe they changed her dress!"

"Tenten calm down."

"That dress was important; the colour was a metaphor to her inner struggle. These people don't care at all about Jiraiya's vision!"

"Tenten, it's not that big a deal."

"Not that big a deal? Look at her! She looks like a cheap tramp."

Kakashi grinned.

"Oh, you're impossible."

.

"I'm getting a drink, would you like anything?" Tenten asked, stretching in her seat.

"No, thank you," was his distracted reply.

"You sure? I've got other things besides beer. Are you into those fruity girly drinks? Oh I know! I just learned out to make A Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall."

Kakashi blinked and then shook his head. "I'm sorry Tenten, but as I'm already alone with a teenage girl in the middle of the night, discussing side boob amongst others, it's probably best that I draw the line somewhere before bringing in slow comfortable screws, metaphorical or otherwise. People tend to frown upon that."

He didn't look at her when he said it, but she could tell he actually was a little awkward about the situation when he actually stopped to ponder it. Like he didn't know if he should play along with her teasing or censure her as her elder. So it was best not to let him ponder for too long.

"But that line falls somewhere after watching what some would misconstrue as soft core porn, right?" Tenten grinned, while getting up from her seat.

Kakashi sat up straight to give her a glare. "Anyone who thinks that is a crass, unrefined fool. Make Out Violence is a classic that will be remembered through the ages."

"Hey," she said, putting her hands up defensively. "You're preaching to the choir. Don't need to tell me that. Anyways, you're probably right. If I gave you a screw against the wall, then I'd say you owed me a Screaming Orgasm but I'm not sure if I have the ingredients here for you to deliver. It's a shame cause, I even had some cherries I could pop in there for you. But I've also got water and juice too…"

Kakashi stared at the girl for a long time before slowly clarifying, "You were just talking about drinks, right?"

"What, the part about popping cherries? Definitly." Tenten wouldn't have thought it possible, but she could've sworn she'd just witnessed Kakashi sensei blush. "So... water, juice?"

The man closed his mouth and swallowed, turning back to the screen. "No, thank you."

Tenten raised a knowing eyebrow. "You just don't want to take your mask down."

"And then there's that," he answered, still not looking at her.

It was then she decided to throw tact to the wind, what little she had, that is. "Why do you wear that thing all the time, anyway?"

"It keeps my face warm," he answered simply.

"Right… let me guess, you're horribly disfigured."

"Yep. I was mauled by a bear as a child. It was a horrific experience that still haunts me till this day. Thanks for bringing it up."

Tenten grinned, still standing just to the side of the couch. "The Chunin's have a pot going on it, you know."

The man didn't even blink. "Oh, and what's theirs up to?" he asked with vague interest.

"Four hundred and fifty, last I checked."

He snorted. "The Jounin's are at at least eight." Kakashi gave her a small glance. "When it gets to say, two thousand, we'll talk."

A small smile spread it's self over her face. "Ah, you're a sly one." She nodded while calculating percentages in her head. "You've got yourself a deal."

.

She was staring at him.

"What?"

"Just contemplating," she murmured.

Kakashi rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the screen.

.

"Kakashi sit –"

The girl made to grab at his shirt but missed.

"Those bastards!"

"Kakashi sit down!" She gave his shirt a hard yank, causing him to grudgingly sit back down.

"How could they do that?"

"I know."

"They've ruined the movie."

"It'll be alright."

"I'm telling Jiraiya. Maybe he can do something about this."

"I think if we were to complain to Jiraiya, it should be about something more important than your favorite line having two words changed."

The man glared at her. "What, like changing a dress colour?"

"That dress was bloody important!" she shouted.

He smirked.

.

"Why are you turning the volume up?" Kakashi asked, giving her a suspicious look.

One of the better known scenes was just starting up, the one where the two main characters expressed their love for each other. It was beautiful. It involved candle light, an abandoned piano bar, a very interesting method for drinking champagne, and now apparently surround sound.

Tenten grinned wickedly. "The walls are thin and I know where my neighbor's sleep."

.

"Don't you think that was a bit much?"

"What?" she asked with an innocent pout.

"You just threw a kunai at the screen."

"I threw it beside the screen, not at it."

"Oh, sorry, my mistake," he replied sarcastically.

"Right, don't think I didn't hear that crack earlier. I know you broke my armrest when they cut chapter fourteen in half."

The man let out a soft breath. "That was different."

.

"I'm not taking it off."

"You are such a spoil sport."

"No."

"Come on, I could do a lot of good with that money."

"Ha!" he barked out loudly.

Tenten sat sideways with one leg tucked under her self. "You know, Naruto's got you down for bucked teeth."

"Bucked teeth?" he snorted. The man looked insulted though still continued to watch the movie. "Somehow I thought he'd be a bit more creative then that."

She shrugged. "Yeah, well it makes sense when you think about it. Can't really take a ninja seriously when he looks like a beaver."

"And what does Sakura say?" Kakashi asked.

"She says," Tenten began with emphasis. "We're being stupid and juvenile, and that you probably just look like everybody else, and that we should just all leave you alone."

Kakashi looked at her, knowing there was more to it. "But…" he prodded.

The girl gave a knowing smirk. "But, in the book she's got you down for a mole."

The man blinked. "How scandalous of her."

"Well more specifically a beauty mark, one of those girly one right above the mouth." Tenten had to admit, that would be a pretty funny sight.

Kakashi gave a bemused nod. "So what are you down for?"

Tenten grinned. "I said it was medical."

He frowned. "You'll have to elaborate."

"Nope," she answered simply, not willing to give him any more information.

"So where's this book then?" He still wasn't looking at her but she could tell she had his full attention for once.

"Ino," Tenten said, feeling especially mischievous. The girl would likely kill her if she ever found out, but for the good of the mission Tenten decided sacrifices had to be made. Besides, she really was curious for his reaction. "She started it a few years ago, back during her I'm in love with Kakashi sensei, phase."

"Her what?" came his sharp reply, looking slightly startled before quickly resuming his casual slouch.

"You don't remember that?" Tenten asked honestly. From what she remembered, Ino had really made an effort of it. And no one could say the blonde lacked anything in the way of the direct approach.

"No," he answered, genuinely baffled.

"Huh, well it only lasted about three weeks. Then I think it switched to Kiba, and then Izumo, and so on. You know how it is," Tenten said, wanting to make it clear the girl was no longer a rival. "But she followed you around everywhere… Really, you don't remember that?"

Kakashi shook his head in a strange mix of nonchalance and peaked curiosity.

"She offered to give you a private massage during one of your hospital stays," exasperated the girl.

"Did she?"

Tenten let out a frustrated groan. "She was wearing a naughty nurse uniform."

Kakashi only shrugged.

Did he really just not remember or worse, not even notice Ino's novice attempt at seduction? Or maybe perhaps he was just pulling her leg. "The girl was shameless," Tenten continued on.

At that, the man looked at her. "Can't imagine what it'd be like to be stuck around a girl I'd aptly describe as shameless."

It only took her a second.

"Hey!" she cried, feeling bold enough to give his shoulder a small shove. "At least I'm not trying to get in your pants."

It was only a small lie, after all.

"Actually for all I know, you could be," Kakashi said with a smirk, oblivious to how close to the truth he really was. "This could all be part of an elaborate plan. You get me alone in your apartment just to take advantage of me while under the influence of the M.O.S."

"Oh yes, sensei. You've got me all figured out," she replied deadpan. "What ever shall I do?" And then it hit her. "And the truth is, I hate the Make Out series."

The man gave a mock gasp. "No!"

"Oh yes," she answered theatrically before straightening her self on the couch, no longer looking at him. "I think they are a base form of entertainment and completely demeaning." Kakashi jerked in disgust. "I even snuck out of the village to get that signed copy at the release party, just so that I could get an in with you. True story."

He glared. "Well in that case, there's just no more for us to say to each other. Back to th–"

Kakashi was cut off by Tenten shifting from her seat to sit flush against his side, leaning into him heavily.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking at a complete loss to the girl now rested her head upon his shoulder.

What could she say; he started it, after all. Instead she didn't answer.

Tenten grinned and began to draw small circles on Kakashi's upper thigh while looking blissfully unaware of any discomfiture on his part. The man remained stiff as a rod.

"Tenten..." he warned in a low voice.

She smiled wickedly up at him. Ok, so maybe she was just a little bit tipsy but that wasn't going to stop her from taking full advantage of the situation. He was the one who said she was out to seduce him. It wasn't her fault he was right.

"But Kakashi," she said in a dramatic, husky voice. "There's no point in hiding behind pretense now."

She brought up her hand to trace two fingers down his cheek.

"Please stop," he stated with a trace of annoyance. It was obvious he knew she was just playing, so there was no real harm in upping the stakes once more, she thought gleefully to herself.

"I can't," she answered. "The pull of our animal magnetism is just too strong."

"The wha –" And with one quick move, Tenten pulled her body away only to dumb herself sideways onto his lap, not giving him any time to stop her. "Tenten, get off of me."

She draped an arm around his neck for balance and looked into his eye. "Tell me you want me."

Kakashi glared. "Your ass is boney and you may want to consider starting a diet."

The girl ignored him. "But how could anybody resist when you've got such a sexy –" Tenten searched his mask covered face for something to work with. "Eye…" she finished after only a slight pause.

He rolled said eye at her.

The truth was Tenten's heart was racing a thousand beats per minute. If he really was ticked at her, she would have removed herself immediately, but as it was, he seemed to be just feigning annoyance. Perhaps he was having just as much fun as she was?

She grinned at him. "I mean, it's just so… I wanna lick it."

"I swear to god, Tenten, you try to lick me, and I burn your book," he said in full seriousness.

She pulled back. "You wouldn't dare."

"Ah, but I thought you didn't care about the series," Kakashi grinned, taking her wrists in his hands to extricate himself from her grasp. "It was all just a rouse to get me here."

"Fuck," Tenten muttered lowly. He had her there.

"That's what I'm trying to avoid."

Tenten blinked, not quite believing she'd just heard him right. Best just to brush it off, she thought quickly.

"Fine, you win," she said, removing her self from his lap and going back to her normal place on the couch. "But that was a dirty trick, you know."

"Mmm," he agreed, pressing the rewind button.

.

Tenten stared out the window and watched as Kakashi's shadow quickly faded from view. In one sense, the night had been a complete success, her mission was going along perfectly and Kakashi seemed to be willing to play along with at least some of her teasing. In another sense, it was turning into a complete disaster.

She sighed and slowly banged her head against the wall a few times, still looking out into the night sky. "Well shit," she muttered to herself. "I could actually…"

She shook her head and pushed herself away from the wall before trotting her way back to the living room. Tenten straightened her things, made a quick inspection of the damage done to the arm rest (not too bad considering), pulled the kunai from the wall, and made her way to her bedroom.

The entire night ran its course through her head a dozen times as she worked but it all kept coming back to the same question. What have I really started here?

On the other side of her windowsill, Kakashi watched, pondering the last few words he heard the girl say.

Could actually, what? he asked himself, before he too, followed his clone out into the night.