so my friend is gone... my baby boy isn't ill any longer...
and here's the next chappy for you... and it's a long one... 3,629 words...

thx to
And Pidgeons Fly354
cuteorama (especially for your awesome cuteness :):) love to talk to you)
unnz4
vampirelover081

thx for reviewing, you guys are awesome :):) keep it up

~ chapter 10 ~

RPOV

It's been two and a half months now since Chris and I got together.

Lissa and I still weren't talking, but it doesn't bug me any longer, after she made a move on my man a month ago.

~ Flashback ~

Dimitri and I had just finished my training, when I walked towards my dorm. On my way I saw Christian with his back to me. Wanting to give him a little scare, I walked as quiet as possible, but just a few meters away from him I stopped like I got struck by lightning.

In front of him was Lissa and they both seriously leaned in to kiss each other. Opening up to his feelings – I had just learned how to block his thoughts and feelings out – I felt dizzy and confused. Getting an idea of what was going on, I walked around him and pushed Lissa away from him so she fell to the ground, hip first.

"What the fuck Lissa? Why did you just kiss him?" She smirked at me and gave me a weird glare.

"He loves me, that's why. You were just a bit of fun for him, but he always loved me."

My frown turned into my famous death glare and then I turned around to look at Chris. I softly lay my hand on his cheek before speaking.

"Are you okay, my love," I asked him, worry lacing my words. He lightly shook his head to come out of the trance, the compulsion had caused. Finally he fixed his eyes on me.

"What's going on, Rose? What just happened?"

"You kissed her," I stated like it was obvious, while pointing at Lissa. "But don't worry, I know it wasn't your fault. She used compulsion on you. I just don't know why it worked so well. Normally you aren't affected by common compulsion."

He got angry, when he looked over my shoulder at Lissa, who was still sitting on the ground rubbing her hipbone.

"If you ever do something like that again," he growled, "I swear I'll destroy you, no matter your Dragomir title or that you're in for the throne. If you ever do so much as come close to us again, I'll kill you."

Lissa stared at him, mouth open and eyes wide not knowing what to say. Her eyes were widened in fear, when she really registered the meaning of his words.

Chris looked at me again, his unspoken apologies clearly transmitted through his eyes.

"I'm sorry, honey. You know that I don't love her anymore. Just you. Only you," he whispered desperately, not knowing how I really took the kissing thing.

I gave him a peck on the lips and then looked into his beautiful blue eyes, mostly to really drive the message home.

"I told you it's okay. I know what happened and it wasn't any of your doing, not willingly for that matter."

With that I took him by the hand and led him to the feeders, leaving a still shocked Lissa behind.

~ End of Flashback ~

Right now I was in the gym training for my finals. In the past weeks it became a routine for Christian to watch me train. After Lissa kissed him, I always wanted to have an eye on him. Not

that I didn't trust him, it was her who lost my faith.

She wasn't my friend any longer. She's just the girl , who always thinks of herself. It doesn't matter to her, who she hurt or what she or anyone lose because of that. She's just thinking of herself, typical Royal behavior. Maybe I should get her to hook up with Adrian, since he's not the slightest bit better. Although he learned something – he didn't came close to me or Chris, he didn't even visit me in my dreams. He keeps his distance and that I'm thankful for.

After he's written me a letter – yep, shocker, I thought the same thing – I'm close to forgiving him. He apologized for his behavior at Court and actually wished me the best for my relationship with Chris. He said that if he couldn't have my love he at least wanted to have my friendship. And I actually was willing to give that to him.

Chris was okay with it. "I want you to be as happy as possible and if that means to have Mr. Too Drunk To Care around on a regular basis, then I'm okay with that," were his exact words to me.

I just pinned Dimitri to the mat for the third time, when he scratched his neck in a slightly uncomfortable manner. He cleared his throat before he began to speak.

"So, uhm, any idea yet for your compulsion problem called Vasilisa?"

We told him what happened the other day, but we plead with him to stay out of it. So much for him being uncomfortable.

"Not really, no. Why?" I answered, unsure of where he was going with this.

"Okay, cause I was thinking," - so far nothing new - "and you said normal compulsion doesn't affect Chris?" I nodded and signaled for him to go on. "So what about if another sort of compulsion would? Let's say, maybe another Spirit user would be able to compel him."

I looked at him dumbfounded. »He can't seriously mean that Adrian... No, Ivashkov couldn't have done that.«He told me he was happy for me and Christian, so why would he do something that would most likely lead to our break up?

Then it hit me full force. He said he loved me. He waited months for me to go out with him and when I finally agreed he screwed some bitch, before even taking me out on our fucking first date. And being the stuck up Royal he is he'd do anything to get to me, though I don't see the logic behind all this. Why would he get me if I break up with Chris? That makes no sense at all.

"Rose, you ok?" I heard Dimitri's worried voice while he waved with one hand in front of my eyes.

"Yeah, everything fine. Great actually. What do you think? How much does a just healed nose hurt if you break it again? Will it be better or worse than cutting his balls off?" I noticed, that my voice had dropped to a dangerous whisper. My eyes slowly met Dimitri's intense stare.

"Fuck! I knew I shouldn't have told you. Listen, don't do anything you'll later regret." Did he really just swear in English?

He tried to calm me down, but noticed soon that it wasn't really working. I felt that huge rage building inside me – don't even ask me where that came from – and my mind told me told me to go to Adrian and give him some piece of my mind. Or a meeting with 'hospital' and 'graveyard', two of my best friends, commonly known as my fists.

"Listen Comrade, I know it's stupid, but he tried to get me to break up with the man I love more than my own life." At that Chris shot me a weird look and in his eyes I could see a trace of... hurt? What the...? I turned to him and stated "Really Chris? I mean you, Silly."

My eyes fell on Dimitri again. "I'll try my best not to hurt him, but yelling like my mom on one of her trips could scare him to death. Seriously, I just want to understand the logic behind his actions." He looked at me a moment longer, probably doing his 'I-know-you-better-than-the-back-of-my-hand-thing' to see if I was lying. Doing my best to hide my anger I stared at him defensively. Finally he gave in and dropped his hands, which somehow found a way to hold me by my shoulders during the last minutes.

"Just don't do anything stupid Roza. We don't want to get you expelled so close to graduation, do we?"

I nodded and took a step away from him. I looked at the clock, hoping to find a way to change the topic and there it was. Simple and easy.

"Oh look Comrade. Training is over, we better go. I'm hungry and have some stuff to learn. Exam in Guardian Theory tomorrow. Don't want to piss Stan off, not more than usual. Come on Chris, you're going to help me."

Chris got his stuff and followed me to the commons, where we filled our trays with some pizza and brownies. We were just about to sit down at our table, when I saw Adrian walking towards us. I nudged Chris with my elbow and signaled for him to follow me. We looked at Eddie and Mia apologetically, said we would eat in my room and learn for our last exams.

Without sparing him another glance I brushed past Adrian and felt no need to apologize for bumping into his shoulder pretty hard.

Up in my room Chris and I forgot our food and our studies and instead lay down on my bed, me cuddling into his side and him holding me as close as possible.

"What are you planning to do to Ivashkov for pissing you off," Chris suddenly broke the silence. I thought about it. Hard. One probably could see the wheels turning.

"I honestly have no idea," I answered after a few minutes. "I think I'll just go and talk to him. I mean, Dimitri is right, I would get expelled, if I would punch him and anyone would find out. I can't risk becoming a Guardian because of him. But..." I broke off, not sure what he'd think of me if I'd tell him about my true feelings.

"But what?" He patiently waited for an answer, while playing with a loose strand of my hair.

"I can't tell you." I closed my eyes, not wanting to let him see how scared I actually was. He slightly pulled away from me to get a better look at me.

"What is it, Sweetie? You know you can tell me everything. No need to be afraid."

"Actually, I am. Of what you'll think of me."

"Why should you be? You're THE Rose Hathaway. You're not scared of anything. You're my girl and I love you, no matter what."

I took a deep breath. I knew that he wanted to help me and I trust him, so why not tell him?

"Okay. You win. When Dimitri told us about his idea earlier, I started to feel such a huge rage against Adrian. I have that feeling that, I don't know, I need to hurt him. Or worse. You know that I never ever would hurt a Moroi. Let alone kill him or her. Not even Queen Bitch herself. But when Dimitri told us, everything clicked together. Why Adrian would have done this. I just can't understand his logic. But right then I felt like nothing could stop me. I felt the urge to go to him, torture him til he dies. How could I even think something like that? I'm a monster Chris. I'm trained to protect Moroi, not torture them til they die."

Whereas I looked into his eyes all the time, now I dropped my gaze unable to see what he would think of me. I mean, I just said about myself, that I'm a monster. How on earth could he love me?

"It's okay Sweetie. Look at me. You don't need to be ashamed of what you're feeling. I don't know what let you think those things, but we'll figure it out. You won't hurt Ivashkov. If you want I could go with you, when you go to talk to him. I won't let you down, you don't have to do this alone."
"Thank you Chris. How did I ever deserve you," I asked in a low whisper.

"Not the slightest idea," he chuckled. Damn Vampire hearing.

"I mean it. Thank you. But I think I have to speak to him on my own. I swear I won't kill him or even hurt him. I'll just talk to him."

With that I got up from my bed and walked over to my door.

"You know, if you won't let me come I'll just stay here and wait for your glorious return." He smirked at me, while leaning on his elbows to get a better look at me.

"Whatever Pyro. Love you. Later," I called over my shoulder, shutting the door behind me.

Making my way over to guest housing, I ignored everything and everyone, especially the tall Russian who followed me for five long minutes, calling out my name. I feel like there will be extra laps in the morning waiting for me. Just great. Not.

Standing at Adrian's door I began pounding on it in an unsteady rhythm, the noise growing louder and louder with every knock. After a while a very groggy looking Adrian opened. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you Mr. Hangover,´.

Raking a hand through his messy hair, he opened his sleepy eyes, which widened in surprise when his remaining brain cells registered who I was.

"Little Dham-," he started but I interrupted him.

"Cut the crap Adrian. I have absolutely no time for this. We need to talk, meaning I ask you a question and you'll answer. And don't even think about lying. I want the truth and you'll give it to me, otherwise I have two good friends, who want to get know your face."

Staring at me with fear in his eyes he let me into his room. Walking through different empty Vodka bottles and stuff that looked like Campari I found his couch and flopped down on it.

"Sit Ivashkov. No cigarettes, no alcohol." He did as I told him and looked actually sober all of a sudden.

"Anything for you Rose. Whatever you want." I waved him off and avoided his eyes for a brief moment.

"So... Ivashkov..." I trailed off. Where to start? "Recently compelled someone?"

He looked at me shocked but quickly avoided his eyes and seemed very interested in his carpet.
"Really? Is that an actual question?"

"Yes it is, moron. Now answer," I said in a serious tone.

"Kirova, Petrov, Alto, that Yuri guy, Eddie, Zeklos, Sarkozy," he tipped them off at his finger tips, but looking at him I knew he wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Spill it Ivashkov. You know exactly which compulsion I was asking for!"

"Okay, yeah, no need to shout. I compelled Lissa. Happy now?"

"Not exactly. What about Chris? Have you compelled him over the last three months?"

"No..." Somehow he dragged that one word out to an unknown length. Seeing my glare he cleared his throat and spoke again. "I didn't compel him, not exactly. I just charmed a ring of his, which Lissa gave to me."

Then I registered his words from a few moments earlier. "Wait, what do you mean you compelled Lissa?"

"I thought you knew. I thought that's why you're here. Anyhow, I compelled her a long time ago. Actually the evening after Ozera and you told me about your bond. I let her be jealous of the two of you."

"You said you charmed a ring from Chris. How did you charm it? What did it do to him?" Please, he's not about to say, what I think he is.

"It made him kiss Lissa. She was compelled to do everything to get you to break up with him. When I told you I'm happy for you I lied. I'm jealous. He gets the most beautiful woman out there, just because I fucked up once. I wanted to get you away from him. I thought that if you broke up with him, because of his ex, you'd come to me, cause you always talked to me about your problems. Not like you did with Belikov, but you did. That's actually pretty stupid, but that's how I think. I know I screwed up."

"Yeah you did, majorly. Tell you something. You just destroyed every chance of us becoming friends anytime soon. Go on, what else have you done?"

"Nothing, I swear!" He raised his hands in a motion like he surrendered to me. "I compelled Lissa to get jealous of the two of you. And I charmed Ozera's ring. I saw your auras. I saw your feelings for each other from the first moment I met you. I saw that you're in love of some sorts and that made me crazy. I wanted you to love me like I love you. I still want that. It hurts me to see you happy with with Christian. He's not good for you. All these rumors about him will destroy your reputation sooner or later. Do you really want to risk your career for a Strigoi in the making?"

I looked at him like he just smacked me in the face.

"You didn't! You didn't just go there! You know exactly that he won't turn Strigoi! It doesn't destroy my reputation when I'm with him! Shall I tell you why? Cause there is no damn reputation to destroy! Have you forgotten all the rumors about me? Even your stupid great-aunt knows about them and doesn't respect me as a person, let alone a soon-to-be Guardian." Through my little rant I began to scream at him and got up from the couch to pace back and forth in front of him.

"You say you see me aura. Then tell me what you see when I look at you. Cause right now I know that I hate you. I feel pity for you. You said you love me. But how am I supposed to believe you?

If you'd really love me you would have accepted that I am with Pyro. You would've wanted me to be happy. But you walk around and compel my best friend to destroy my relationship. You destroyed my family. Because of your fucking mind games my sister hates me! I was the only family she had left.

I will be her guardian in two weeks. Tell me how I can do my work properly, when she hates me and makes my job probably that much harder to do? I don't even want to be her Guardian anymore, because of you. But I can't change it cause it was the last wish of her parents, and I respect their dying wish. They wanted her best friend to protect her daughter.

Because of you I can't let my boyfriend out of my sight, without thinking that Lissa will turn up to take him away from me.

But you don't care about that, do you? You just care about your lazy ass and that you get what you want! In order to get me to be with you , you destroyed my most important friendship and nearly my relationship with the one I truly love."
I was in his face by now and felt the familiar feeling of tears burning in my eyes. My sight got blurry with my next words. "Why couldn't you just be happy for me? You were such an important person over the last few months. But from now on you're dead to me. I hope you're happy Lord Ivashkov. Like it was said before. You lost me without even having me. And it's all your own fault.

I turned around to walk out his door, when he got up and grabbed my wrist to hold me back.

"Please, Rose, don't go. I'm sorry. I'm ashamed of what I did okay? I love you and I want to be in your life. I can't lose you. You're my rock. Since I met you Spirit doesn't affect me as much as it did before. I'll go insane without you in my life."
I stared into his pleading jade green eyes. I knew he meant it, but I couldn't forgive him.

"Sorry Adrian, I really am. But you made your bed, now lie in it. I can't and I won't help you. Not for destroying my family. I can't even look at you right now, without hating you."

I was just about to turn away again, when he suddenly grabbed my chin and and forced me to look at him.

"You'll forget what I've done. You'll forget your feelings for Ozera. You'll love me. Kiss me." When he finished I started to lean in. Blinking I got aware of what just happened. I shoved away his hand and yelled at him again.

"Seriously Adrian? Compulsion? Have you lost any sense of good and bad? Let me go!" He let go of my wrist without hesitation and this time he didn't stop me, when I walked to his door.

I felt a lone tear trail down my cheek when I looked at him one last time.

"I could have loved you Adrian. I was willing to try it. But your actions proved that you're not worth it. I'm happy with Christian and you should accept that. I'll never be with you. I don't think that I can forgive you for that."

I stepped out of his room, slammed the door shut behind me and made my way back to my dorm and to my boyfriend.

so my laptop had five 'mental' breakdowns today... forgive me if the next chapter needs some days again... my laptop seems to hate me -.-
AND
i haven't even done any christmas shopping yet -.-"" my baby boy is going to hate me if he doesn't get a proper christmas eve