A/N: Thanks to all who've reviewed! And as always, thanks to dristi5683 for catching my mistakes. The next chapter is in progress, but since this is holiday time, I expect it will take longer than usual to update. So, thanks for your patience.
May you enjoy the company of family and friends and may you find real peace in this season.
Day 136
Puente Antiguo, New Mexico
The trick was to transport someone without tearing them in half. Jane typed new numbers into the simulation program and hit "run" again. The reading came up at 50 times the force of gravity. No good. A human couldn't sustain that even for a few seconds. She swiveled her chair away from the work table.
"Guess it's back to the drawing board—literally," she said, "What do you—"
But she was talking to an empty room. Jane frowned and shook her head. She had been a loner her entire life, preferring her own company, both socially and professionally, to that of others. It took too much energy to constantly defend her nontraditional ideas. But now her constant impulse was to catch Kai's reaction, to share an observation with him, to ask him a question.
Two hours later, the sun was low in the sky and Jane's stomach growled. In her workaholic daze, she'd forgotten to eat lunch. Five cups of black coffee didn't provide enough calories to keep her belly satisfied, but she considered it progress that she even noticed. Gathering the abandoned mugs, Jane glanced at her telephone. Two missed calls from Erik and Isabel, and seven unread messages, one from Erik and six from Darcy.
Isabel was probably checking up on her. Jane would walk over and see her for dinner. Darcy was just being Darcy with the excessive texting, which was perfectly fine. She knew what Erik wanted too. He was frustrated that she was "wasting time" investigating the possibility of space travel. The text from him confirmed her suspicion.
Erik S.: Fury wants to see your proposal for the design of the cradle by next week. How's that coming?
She sighed. Erik wouldn't like her answer. Of course it was a noble goal to harness the incredible power of the Tesseract to provide sustainable energy for humankind. But the promise of walking the stars enthralled her in a way that Erik could not understand.
Jane opened the message string from Darcy.
Darcy (10:14 a.m.): hey chica whassup havent talked 2u 4ever call me k
Darcy (12:37 p.m.): call me
Three more texts repeated the same demand, then:
Darcy (5:09 p.m.): call me or ill sic isabel on u
Jane swiped Darcy's avatar and waited. Darcy answered on the first ring.
"Jane! You're alive!"
Grinning, Jane answered, "I'm alive."
"Yay! So did you fall off the Earth for a while or what?"
"Yeah, well, Erik's keeping me busy with this thing we're doing. You know how it is…and why do you keep texting me? Don't you have classes?"
"Um. It's Sunday. Earth to Jane! But I guess that answers my next question: having any fun?"
Jane rolled her eyes. "Your kind of fun or my kind of fun?"
"I mean actual fun, involving poor judgment and hot guys. Probably alcohol too."
Poor judgment and hot guys. Well… "No alcohol here. I've got to stay focused."
"Focus while you can, woman! Whatcha doin' for Thanksgiving?"
"Thanksgiving?"
"Yeah, you know, Turkey Day? Fourth Thursday of November?"
"I know what Thanksgiving is. I just...how soon is Thanksgiving?"
"It's October 16 today."
"October 16? The Orionids are peaking soon."
"TMI!"
"No! Darcy! The Orionid meteor shower. On the 20th, I think. I've got to see them!"
"Okay. Go stare at the stars, Ms. Science Woman. But I'm coming to visit you for Thanksgiving."
Jane chuckled. "Poptarts for Thanksgiving dinner?"
"Hey! I can cook. When I want to. And if you can discover new planets or whatever, you can follow a freakin' recipe."
"What about your parents? Are they okay with you coming here?"
"Eh, they're good. They know you've had a tough time. I'll see them at Christmas. Whaddaya say?"
Transferring the phone to the other hand, Jane let the idea sink in. "I love the idea! Thanksgiving at the lab!"
"Yes! I'm so happy! I gotta go, 'kay? But I'll call you in a couple of days."
"Okay. Bye, Darcy."
oooOOOooo
Day 138
Puente Antiguo, New Mexico
She hadn't bothered to return the couch to its former position nor to tidy the books and papers. Jane lay curled on two of the cushions, nearly swallowed up by her comforter. Loki sank to his knees beside the couch and drank her in. Moonlight smoothed her sleeping face and danced over her hair.
A heartbeat throbbed under her jaw. Jane was mortal, finite, temporary. He had always equated those characteristics with inferior, weak, disposable. Yet with only a nudge from him, she had put the pieces of herself back together. The whiteboard gave mute testimony to her intellectual prowess. Her mind, in only a few decades, rivaled those of the ancient scholars of the other Realms.
He had stayed away from Jane's dreams for several nights, willing himself to hate her. She spoke of Thor, even though he hadn't come to rescue her from her torment. But he couldn't hate her. He had to see her, touch her...
"Loki No-One's-Son."
The putrid smell reached his nostrils a second later. Very few had the power to ambush him, particularly when he was cloaked. Loki briefly closed his eyes, gathering his reserves, then stood to face The Other.
The hooded figure stood an arm's length away. "What do we have here, runt? Resorting to a mortal woman. But I imagine no one else would have you." The Other waved toward Jane. "Please, don't let me stop you."
Loki's lip curled. "You insult me. I was contemplating the best way to kill her."
"Even better. Proceed."
"The time is not yet right."
The Other drifted closer to Jane. "Who is she?"
Loki's skin crawled and he forced himself to turn away as if indifferent. "She is of no consequence apart from possessing part of the key to the Tesseract. I've used her to gather much information." How deeply asleep was Jane? He spoke over his shoulder. "Shall we leave this Midgardian hovel?"
"No," the creature hissed. "I think we'll remain here. I enjoy watching you attempt to disguise your fear."
Loki smirked. "I'm afraid you are mistaking disgust for fear, Your Grace."
"So it would not affect you, then,"—he slowly extended his six-fingered hand toward the sleeping Jane—"if I ended her life to punish you for your insolence?"
Loki shrugged, looking away dismissively. "She is nothing to me. Her death would not motivate me. I warn you, though, that killing her might delay the conclusion of the mission."
Time froze while Loki silently begged Jane not to awaken. The Other withdrew his hand and approached Loki.
"Thank you for the reminder, runt. Regarding this mission, why haven't you brought the treasure to Master yet?"
Loki schooled himself to measure his words and bow his head. "Your Grace, as one of the Infinity Stones, the Tesseract is semi-sentient and unimaginably powerful. It cannot simply be seized and wielded. It must be wooed and won over. I needed to witness for myself what provokes it, what soothes it."
"You have been away for three iterations of the moon of Zetrya." The warning in his tone resurrected a thousand nightmares.
"It was unavoidable." He spread his hands, palm up, as if asking for mercy. "Time behaves differently on Midgard than at the Sanctuary. I have been here for only fourteen rotations of the Realm."
The robed one drew closer; the stench of death was sickening. "And how much longer do you expect Master to be patient?"
"I beg you, Your Grace, allow me but a few more days to finish preparing the Tesseract. I will then return to Master. We will ready our army and await victory."
"How many?"
When was that meteor shower? He wanted the memory of Jane watching the skies. "Three. Allow me but three more rotations."
"If you betray Master—"
"Surely you don't imagine that even I am that arrogant, Your Grace," Loki smoothly cut in.
"If you betray Master," The Other began again, "she will suffer."
Loki saw sliced flesh and shattered bones, remembered maddening pain and wrenching breaths. He inclined his head mutely in submission.
His hooded tormentor vanished. Loki sent tracers to make sure The Other had truly left. He cursed himself—how could he not have sensed the creature's arrival? Loki stood with his head bowed and fists clenched for a long moment, then turned to Jane's sleeping form.
She made him smile, she shattered his prejudices, she fired his blood.
And she was impossible...nearly impossible.
A good man would want the best for Jane. An honorable man would leave her in peace if he wasn't that "best" for her. But as he had already warned Jane, there were no men like him.
He reached a hand toward her brow, soundlessly mouthing the spell to enter her dream.
oooOOOooo
Standing at the whiteboard, Jane uncaps the marker and stretches to start her calculations.
Kai is suddenly there, striding across the lab.
"Where have you—"
He cuts her words off with an abrupt kiss. Jane, in shock, makes no protest. Kai slides his arms around her waist and lifts her, lessening their height difference. The marker falls to the floor. She instinctively wraps her arms around his neck for stability and vaguely registers that his leather garments are missing. He nips her bottom lip and she gasps quietly, then sighs as he licks the sting away. A sweet ache pulses low in her belly. She shyly meets his tongue with her own. He growls and deepens the kiss, plundering her mouth.
She cannot string together a complete thought. What...we've never...it's been so long...mmmm…Kai walks backward until his legs hit the couch, then he slowly sits, gathering her on his lap. Not satisfied to be passive, Jane wriggles around to straddle him. A strangled groan escapes him. She sinks her hands into his silky hair and takes what she wants.
His hands run up and down her back. Jane is melting in this heat. She bites his earlobe and inhales the delicious scent that is uniquely Kai—cool evergreen and something that makes her pulse race. His heartbeat also pounds against her lips and the long tendons of his neck twitch under her teeth.
Jane kisses her way back to his mouth and they meet as equals, both giving, both taking, battling, biting, suckling, soothing. She pauses to draw a breath and Kai rests his forehead against hers, his hair tickling her cheeks.
"Jane," he whispers, his breathing a ragged mess.
"Hmmm?" she answers, unable to form words just yet.
He traces a random pattern on her side. "Run away with me."
Jane smiles, twitching from the tickling. "Okay...but I have to be back...by tomorrow. I have...Skype call...with Erik."
Kai stills, pulling away slightly. She opens her eyes to find him gazing at her soberly.
"Kai?"
"Not just for this night. Come away with me."
Eyebrows drawing together, Jane says, "What does that mean, Kai?"
"What if we could always be together?"
Wide-eyed now, Jane pushes off Kai's lap and stands. Without the leather coat and armor, he is less intimidating. He looks almost young with his hair mussed and his linen shirt wrinkled. He watches her intently, his long, long lashes sweeping his cheeks when he blinks.
She has missed him.
"How?" Jane asks. "You...you're not real, Kai. You came to help me get over the Destroyer, and stayed to help me with the Tesseract. You said that you would leave when I didn't need you anymore. What does it mean if you never leave?"
Kai winces. "Are you afraid of losing your mind, love? It doesn't have to be like that. We could—"
"Two weeks ago, if you'd made me the offer of escaping to a lovely dream world, I would have said yes immediately because my life was nothing but a nightmare." Emotion wells up in her throat and stings her eyes. "But you helped me heal, Kai. You helped me come back from the dead. Now there's work to be done—important work. There's life to be lived. I can't turn my back on that."
Kai closes his eyes. "I don't want to let you go, Jane. I feel—I feel peace when I'm with you."
Jane sinks back onto the couch. Tears burn their way down her cheeks. "I don't want to let you go, either. I would give anything to be able to actually kiss you and laugh with you and work with you."
Churning green eyes pin her in place. "Do you mean that?"
She nods her head, wiping tears away. "Yes. But it's impossible."
oooOOOooo
Day 139
Puente Antiguo, New Mexico
Awareness came to her in slow waves. Jane gradually opened her eyes. She was in her lab. Good. Her night had been restless, filled with sinister voices and the stench of decomposing flesh, with the thrill of Kai's kiss, but also unease. Living in a dream world had nearly destroyed her once. She couldn't do that again, even for Kai.
She had to force herself to interact with flesh-and-blood people. Jane impulsively got up from the couch and sat at her work table. Choosing the laptop that SHIELD monitored, she sent an email to her department head at Culver, letting him know she was interviewing potential interns for the spring semester. There. That seemed normal. SHIELD would know she was doing something and maybe it'd be good for her to have an actual person around.
She'd have to sleep in her trailer again. Before she could talk herself out of it, Jane grabbed a sweatshirt and her keys and headed out the door of the lab. The early-morning sunlight stung her eyes and the air was crisp.
Two trailers hid behind the old service station. Their small capsule-shaped exteriors had prompted Darcy to nickname them "the body pods." Jane unlocked one of them and let the door swing open. Stale air drifted out. Hesitantly, she stepped up the stairs into the tight space. In front of her, the bed lay stripped of sheets. A faint sour smell clung to everything.
She closed her eyes. You can do this, Jane. Breathe...two...three...four. Opening her eyes, Jane resolutely knelt on the bed and unlatched the windows. A cool breeze filtered in, erasing some of the mustiness. She looked to her left. Darcy had tidied the tiny kitchenette before closing up the trailer, so there was nothing to be done there. Next she turned to the bathroom on the opposite end of the space. Jane gathered the bath towel hanging on the door.
A quick dusting and sweeping, and the trailer would be liveable. In a day or two. When she was ready. Definitely by the time Darcy came for Thanksgiving. Jane's nerves felt dangerously close to the surface of her skin. She had yanked the windows shut and turned to leave when a flash of metallic sparkle caught her attention. There. On the floor, tucked in the corner under the table.
Jane knelt and pulled out a hammer-shaped charm. Mjolnir. She sat back heavily and stared at the pendant. Thor must have lost it when he carried a drunk Erik to her trailer.
"Thor," she whispered, "where have you been?"
She huffed a bitter laugh. What a mess. Pining for two impossible men. Her fingers curled around the charm. Thor was at least real. That was a start.
"Let me go, Kai."
Why was healing sometimes more painful than the wound itself?
oooOOOooo
"We can't get that much vibranium, Jane."
She blinked at Erik's image on her laptop screen. "It's good to see you, too, Erik."
Erik grimaced and shook his head. "Sorry. Hi, Jane. It's nice to see you. We can't possibly secure that amount of vibranium."
"You seem...stressed, Erik."
"Yeah? I am stressed. I've got half of SHIELD breathing down my neck on this project while you indulge in fantasies over there."
"Fantasies?" What...how could Erik know?
Erik squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I apologize. Not fantasies. But I need you to set aside your passion for space travel for now and help me solve the energy source question."
Whew. But also—not cool. Since when did Erik think space-time travel was just a fantasy? "What's the emergency, Erik? SHIELD has been sitting on the Tesseract for decades. What difference is a few days going to make?"
"Has your equipment shown peculiar readings lately?"
Jane glanced at the still, silent boxes, glad they were off-camera. "Umm, you know, I haven't really monitored the readings closely. I've been busy working on the Tesseract project for you. It'll take me a few minutes to review the data..."
"Fire up the sensors, Jane. SHIELD is concerned about a new threat to Earth. In the last few days the Tesseract has been emitting the same gamma-ray signals as when the Bifrost was activated. This is an emergency."
Her throat constricted at the same time that her heart accelerated. Jane slumped back in her office chair. Breathe! Who—what—how can we protect ourselves?
"Jane? Listen to me, Jane." Erik's voice came to her through a long tunnel. "We're working on a way to defend Earth, remember? And you have something to contribute. I need you to focus on this for me."
Jane nodded automatically while she shakily drew in long breaths. She would not go back to that dark place. She had fought too hard. The Destroyer would not win.
"The Destroyer!" Jane said, sitting up swiftly.
"What?" asked Erik.
"SHIELD took the shell of the Destroyer away, didn't they?"
Erik glanced off-camera, as if checking with another person. "That's, you know, the wreckage of Tony Stark's failed experiment was—"
"Cut the crap, Erik. Seriously?" She raised her voice, hoping whoever was eavesdropping got an earful. "I know you goons have the Destroyer! Use it. You saw how it worked. Form a capsule around the Tesseract of that stuff. And your guys have been working on how to store the radiant energy, right?"
"Yes, though they've hit some snags."
"Okay, so that's the next thing we've got to concentrate on."
After jotting down some specs, Jane ended the call. She pushed back from her work table and tried to stand. The burst of bravado had drained away, though, and she could not make her legs work. The Destroyer had been banished from her nightmares, but reality hadn't changed. No one knew what threats lurked in the darkness of space, and Earth was still completely vulnerable.
The room seemed to crumple in toward her, and the ringing in her ears amplified her heartbeat. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the chair.
"Help. Someone. Anyone. Help."
A/N #2: Something's gotta give, right? As one reviewer noted so insightfully: "...Loki's frustrated and Jane needs a "real" Kai." Are you ready to follow me down the rabbit hole? Jane's life is about to get a lot stranger.