Chapter Eleven

Countdown – Three days

Jane Rizzoli hadn't left her apartment for 48 hours. Listening to Darren Crowe doing god only knows what with Maura in her office had unsettled her, to the point that she had gone home instantly, virtually barricading herself inside her apartment for the last two days.

When she had arrived home, following a visit to the nearest liquor store for beer, she had pounded her fists into the boxing dummy, imagining Darren Crowe's smug face with every punch she threw. Six beers later and she fell asleep on the couch, curled into a ball, silently weeping.

Anger and sadness interspersed with beer had meant Rizzoli hadn't bothered to charge her phone and hadn't spoken to the outside world. She was sick; heartsick.

~R&I~

"Well, that went well," Susie said to Barry as he opened the door to his little apartment. He moved aside for his pal to enter.

"Yeah, ok so it backfired a little."

"A little? Jane is now lying in bed thinking Darren Crowe and Maura…" she grimaced and shook herself. "Nope, I can't even say it."

Frost smiled. "She thinks Maura and Crowe are doing the deed, it will be good for her." Susie's raised brow and crossed arms stance suggested otherwise. "Ok, look Jane is stubborn, we all know that, but…this might just be what she needs, she has never liked it when Maura has been seeing someone."

"Yeah, and she has still never told Maura how she feels." Susie flopped down onto the sofa. There was another knock on the door. Frost moved to open it.

"Barold." The boss woman said as she waltzed into the room without an invite, "A little bird has told me that you and, oh, there you are." She pointed at Susie, who stood in greeting. "That you and Susan here, have been interfering in a matter I specifically said not to interfere in."

"Ah, that little bird wouldn't be called Gabriel by any chance?" Frost asked, grinning. Gabe really did like to gossip, which was why he was perfect as God's messenger, the little grass!

"That would be telling, now back to my point."

"Ok, to be fair, you didn't actually say that we couldn't interfere…you said that we couldn't tell them, which we haven't, we've just been…" He searched for the right words to use.

"Helping them along a bit," smiled Susie.

"Hmm, well suffice to say it's all a bit of a pickle, isn't it? Fix it," she said with a poke to his chest.

"I have already begun. We thought a crime would help them flirt, but instead it's kept them apart as Jane has chased down the killer. So, we swept in yesterday and cleared it up."

"You mean you made it disappear?" Boss Woman stated.

"Yes, it's gone, and I borrowed a little something from Aristotle and now Jane will forget all about the case and only be able to think about the one thing that rules her heart," Frost admitted, grinning like a kid that just got an A grade. Those old-world doctors had some tricks up their sleeves.

"I don't know where to begin," Boss Woman said, shaking her head. "I just hope that you both know what you're doing? Because I for one will not be happy if things go awry, and can assure you, there will be a cold winter in Boston!"

"Yes ma'am," Susie answered. They both watched as the Boss Woman turned and left. "See, this is why I shouldn't listen to you, you always get me in trouble."

~R&I~

Still wallowing in her bed, Jane didn't hear the door to her apartment open. Nor did she hear the clanking of plates or the ping from the microwave, but she did smell the delicious aroma of Italian meatballs. Guided by her nose and rumbling stomach, she clambered out of bed, stretching and yawning as she walked.

"Ma?"

"Hey, Janie." Angela smiled as she moved around the small kitchen, wiping the countertop and moving things unnecessarily.

Jane stepped across the linoleum towards the fridge. Opening the door, she pulled a beer from the door, twisted the cap, and took a swig. Turning to her mother she said, "What are you doing here, Ma?"

"Maura said you called in sick, I was worried about you."

"Well, as you can see, I'm all good." Jane took another swig of her beer and placed the bottle down onto the worktop.

"So, I brought you dinner." Angela ignored her daughter's attempt to get rid of her. She opened the microwave and lifted the dish out, placing it in front of Jane. She opened the drawer and picked up a fork, holding it out for Jane to take.

"Thanks." She gave in and twirled the fork into the spaghetti. "I really am fine, Ma."

"Sure honey." Angela picked up the cloth and continued to wipe up imaginary crumbs and dirt. She narrowed her eyes at Jane and waited.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she said, a mouthful of pasta still unchewed.

"Like what?" Angela tilted her head to the left.

"Like you're expecting me to unload my soul at any moment."

Angela smiled. She loved all her kids, but Jane, she was always the one that didn't seem to need loving, not like the boys who would come running to her with every little bruise and scratch. Jane would get up and brush herself down, barely a whimper from her. "Ever since you were a little girl, you've never needed me for that. I used to think you didn't need anyone." She smiled again, and Jane placed the bowl down on the countertop. "That is, until you met Maura."

"Ma!" Jane warned, but she couldn't deny it.

"Maura says she hasn't heard from you in two days," Angela continued. "She's worried about you."

"So? I do have a life of my own, ya know."

"Really? Jane, I'm your mother. You might not think it, but I do take notice and I see a lot."

Jane rolled her eyes and turned away from the counter, grabbing the beer as she went.

"I see you, Jane," she called out across the room, coming around the counter to follow Jane into the lounge. "I see the way you look at her." Jane stopped in her tracks, dead still. "I see the way she looks at you too." Her voice softened as she got closer. She moved around to stand in front of Jane, watched her raise her arm and swig down the last of the beer. "You have to tell her."

Jane thought about it. She had two paths to take right now. Lying was leading the way. It would be so simple to just tell her mother how wrong she was and just how ridiculous it was to even think Maura and she would ever… "There's no point," she said instead. "Maura is already seeing someone."

"What? Who?"

She needed another drink for this. Uncapping a second bottle, she flopped down onto the couch and said, "Crowe."

"Are you sure?" Angela could barely contain the giggle that threatened to erupt. "Darren Crowe, he doesn't seem Maura's type, honey."

"Yeah, well you didn't overhear what I did and…" She felt the nausea threaten to force its way up. Her eyes closed and she took another swig to wash down the bile.

"Talk to her," Angela implored, "Janie, this is Maura. Come on, you're the best detective in town and you can't see it? I know you do… you're just too stubborn, too pig-head—"

"Scared," Jane all but whispered. "I'm scared, Ma," she finally admitted. "It's Maura…I never expected to feel this way."

"I know, Baby, but it's okay…we live in an open-minded world now."

"I don't care about the world, Ma. God, I'd scream it from the rooftops, I'd be proud to call someone like Maura mine." She looked at her mother now, caring eyes smiling back at her. "I love her, Ma, but—"

"But what, Jane? There are no buts…You love her."

"I can't lose her. I'd rather live in a world where she isn't mine, than a world without her in it."

Angela stood up and grabbed her bag. "Ya know, Janie. I have never once spent one minute of any day, not being proud of you. But, I am telling you now, if you don't pull your finger out of your ass and go tell that woman how you feel, if you let some asshole like Darren Crowe get the girl before you do… because you're what, scared?" She shook her head at her. "That's not my Jane. My Jane is a hero that shoots herself to save others. She's the woman that jumps from a bridge with no thought for her own life. Be brave now, Sweetheart." She leant down and kissed her forehead. "Be brave, Jane."