Chapter Ten

"What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate." - Katherine Hepburn

"I don't know if I can do this." Vivian whispered, staring at the older woman in the mirror who was currently styling her hair. Nancy sighed, her hands pausing to study the vulnerable look at her face.

Their eyes met through the mirror and Nancy nodded her head, "Yes, you can. Vivian, it's been over a year since he died. A woman has to accept her past and trust herself not to make the same mistake. Mush is not a mistake. Somewhere down the line, honey, you stopped trusting yourself."

She couldn't hold her gaze; Nancy was right. In the four years of their marriage, three of which were spent in constant fear, that voice had entered her head that sounded eerily like Shawn. It was that voice that made her doubt even her most instinctive feelings. "Well, I'm trying tonight." She found herself saying, straightening her spine and lifting her chin, "But, that's not what I meant. I don't think I can do the other thing we discussed…"

Leading Mush on with ulterior motives, that voice whispered and she made a noise in the back of her throat to drown out the negativity. It wasn't leading him on, she tried to convince herself. It was…accepting his invitation that could open up more opportunities that would, eventually-perhaps-, allow them to try things later for real.

Except, who was she kidding? Mush wasn't the right guy for her. Maybe he thought she was what he wanted but he didn't, really. There was a woman out there far more worthy of the loyal, handsome Mush Meyers. No, sometime in the future she'd meet a nice man who she'd settle down with. A man that would be a kind father to Wesley and they'd live complacent lives. A man who didn't gamble, or beat women; a man who was comely in appearance and lacked ambition. That man was not Mush.

Nancy stepped back as she finished Vivian's hair and nodded her head, "You can, Vivian. Because you must." She sat on the small bench beside Vivian and cleared her throat, "I-I never told you, but the reason I lived alone in that building when you and Shawn moved in was because…I'd left my husband almost ten years ago." Vivian met the older woman's soft eyes and realized she was about to talk about the taboo events that had brought about their first meeting.

"I grew up on a small farm in upstate New York and I hated it. Day after day, everything was the same." She sighed as her gaze grew far away at the memories of her home, "I'd heard about New York City, the sheer size of it I could not even comprehend. My heart yearned for this city I'd never seen, for the tall buildings and the busy streets. It was ever-changing; fast-paced, new.

"Even as I daydreamed about the city, I fell in love with a man. I was completely blinded to his faults; realizing later that the tell-tale signs were there. He came from a broken home, his father a drunk and an abuser, his mother long gone. I figured he'd rise above his father because of the sheer loathing he held for the man…" Nancy trailed off as she remembered the man she had loved and Vivian felt a pain in her chest at the parallels between them. Shawn had come from an abusive father and she wondered if something like that could pass down; or if he learned it.

Nancy twisted her fingers together, "But, a year or so into our marriage, just as I was becoming resolute on the fact that I'd always be stuck in that small town, I found out I was pregnant. John and I rejoiced in my news, our love renewed by the baby that would be a piece of the both of us." Her eyes began to fill with tears, "And then one day, I awoke in blood covered sheets…He called the doctor and the doctor came. He gave us the news we had guessed at-the baby hadn't made it. To top it off, he told me that no matter how hard we tried I probably would never have a baby that would make it to term."

Vivian reached out as the story turned and gripped the woman's hand tightly for comfort, half-wishing she could beg the woman to stop the story to save her pain. She realized, however, that secrets like these sometimes needed to be told in order to save a person further suffering. Nancy squeezed her hand as she continued, "After that, John began to drink and within a few months he was almost the exact replica of his father. He'd knock me around, apologize, and then do it all again a day or so later. It was a never ending cycle that only had two outcomes; one of us had to leave.

"Whether he would eventually drink himself to death or kill me, I did not stay to find out. After one particular brutal beating, I packed a small suitcase and took the money my father had given me on our wedding day. Perhaps a part of me always knew I'd need it and that's why I kept it from him. In either case, I took whatever transportation was available that would bring me here. I lived in the slums of Brooklyn, slaving away in a sewing factory for years before I could afford the apartment where I met you, the picture perfect bride as you two moved in."

Smiling ruefully, Vivian glanced at the mirror where they were both reflected, "A happy bride the first year before discovering the monster inside the men we married."

Nancy, too, turned to look and instead of being bitter, she gave a half-smile, "It has made us the better for it, Vivian. Once you know where to look, you can see the monster in the men that have them. I assure you, Mush is not one of them."

Vivian sighed, "I suppose I've known this."

"Yes. But, what I'm really getting at, Vivian, is that sometimes we have to make a wrong choice that will lead us to the right one. Shawn was the wrong choice, but it all lead you here to Mush. Tonight, you'll do something that isn't right but I'm certain it will be for the better-in the end. Now, stay here. I have a surprise for you."

The older woman left the room, leaving Vivian alone with her thoughts. She felt a new surge of love and compassion for the woman who'd given up so much to protect Vivian and Wesley from Barkers. They had planned for months how Vivian would dye her hair, how they'd move in together, and how Vivian would take Nancy's last name. It had been Nancy's idea to move away months before the money was due and to stagger the dates they left. It had all been so ingenious that she could hardly believe Robert Ridley had been able to find them at all.

When Nancy re-entered, she was cradling a folded article of clothing. Smiling at Vivian's curious face, she slowly unfolded it and held up the dress. "Oh, Nancy…" Vivian breathed, stepping forward to finger the cloth. It was much simpler than the dresses of fashion today, but it was nonetheless beautiful. Although it looked more of a day dress than an evening gown, it was made of a light blue satin.

"I saw the fabric one day and I just fell in love. I bought it and slaved over this dress in the evenings when I wasn't working, but still in the mood to sew. It's my own design; I went for simplicity over extravagance-not that I would have been able to afford extravagance." Nancy explained, laughing at the look on Vivian's face, "Go on. Try it on. I made it a few years before I met you, but when you moved in I just knew you'd compliment this dress."

Gleefully, Vivian quickly stepped behind the divider to change into the dress and sighed in happiness as it slid over her body. "I don't think I've worn anything so beautiful. Not even my wedding dress." She told Nancy as she stepped back out.

Nancy smiled, "I was right. I don't expect Mush will want to bring you back here anytime tonight."

Nervously, she smoothed out her dress. They were in a carriage on their way to Gramercy Park, Mush and Blink sat across from her talking amicably. Both looked sharp in their finery and she tried, unsuccessfully, to imagine them as newsboys. Nor could she imagine them as stuffy, upper-class gentlemen, especially when Blink howled with laughter at something Mush said. They were a strange mix of boy and man; they walked confidently, but carried on as only rowdy orphans could.

Mush was smiling as Blink laughed, but caught her gaze and he seemed to know instinctively how uneasy she was. He moved over to sit next her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it in comfort, "Hey, it'll be awright." He murmured for her ears only. She gave him a tight smile and he added, "Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"

He had. A blush rose up on her cheeks as she nodded just as the carriage jerked to a halt. "We're here?" She asked, her stomach flip-flopping with renewed nerves.

Blink got out first, Mush following close behind. He turned to offer Vivian his hand and she smiled anxiously as she touched the sidewalk and they headed up the front walk. The mansion loomed above her, whisking her breath away as she took in the enormous size and grandeur of it. As they walked forward, she straightened her spine and threw back her shoulders. She could do this; she'd get it over with early in the night and then spend the rest of the night having a good time while getting to know the man beside her. He deserved that much.

And then the front doors opened and the light and laughter filtered out as they ascended the steps. Vivian's hand tightened briefly on Mush's arm before she plastered a smile onto her face and met the couple at the door. She instantly recognized Racetrack, his face open and smiling but even more so now as his eyes fell every few seconds on the petite redhead beside him. "Mush, Blink!" She greeted, as they stopped just inside. Her green eyes swung to Vivian's as she added, "And you must be Vivian! I've heard a lot about you!"

"Hello." Vivian replied, guessing this woman was Clara, "It's wonderful to meet you."

"Do come inside." Clara responded, taking Vivian's arm and propelling her away from Mush and safety, "I adore your dress. It's beautiful." She added, smiling at Vivian pleasantly.

"Thank you." Vivan said sincerely, before she remembered her manners, "Your dress is simply lovely."

Clara's dress was far more splendid, of course, but neither of them pointed that out. "Race told me all about the fire; it's simply awful to hear. I'm glad you are all safe and sound." She patted Vivian's hand and Vivian felt herself relax. The redhead sounded sincere and she didn't seem to be quite as awful as other women of the upper class seemed to be.

"Thank you. I'm just glad no one was injured in our escape." Was her reply as Clara steered her over to where the men had gathered.

"Oh, look. Jack's here! Do come meet him." The petite woman really excelled at navigating her way through the crowded house, Vivian mused, as she caught Mush's gaze. He seemed to relax when he saw her and he gave her a small smile as the bodies parted and Clara and her joined his group.

As soon as Clara stepped up next to Race his arm slid around her shoulders effortlessly. At the same time, the group grew quiet as Mush moved to stand beside her once more, "Vivian," He greeted as he gestured to the only stranger, "This is Jack. He's a friend from back in our newsie days."

Her gaze took in Race, Clara, Blink, and David before landing on the one man whose face was not familiar. He was the tallest one there, only David coming even close to his height, and he stood with such confidence he seemed to fill the whole room. He held out his large hand and she shook it with a bit of hesitancy, trying not to stare at the long scar that snaked vertically down his cheek, "Nice to meet you." She murmured, even as she realized that there was a tense air to the group, "Do you also work at the Benjamin?" Her question came out of the awkward silence but it did the opposite of breaking the tension.

Subtly, she took in the group's body language and realized that although they all seemed completely at ease on their faces, their body's betrayed that. She noticed it most prominently between David and Jack, who were as far from each other in the circle of friends as they could get. "Nah," Jack answered easily with a deep voice that was at odds with his lanky physique, "I work at a factory. More of a hands-on man."

"I'll drink ta that!" Blink joked as he picked up a glass of champagne from a server with a tray.

The group laughed and she felt the tension ease just a bit as Mush slipped his hand into hers and squeezed lightly. "I'm just going to take a moment and talk ta Race, ya gonna be alright?" He whispered in her ear.

It was her moment. She nodded and smiled as he stepped over to talk to Racetrack. "Clara, can you point me to the powder room?"

Clara smiled as Race and Mush stepped away from her and took Vivian's arm, "This way."

With Vivian in tow, the woman once more made her way through the crowd, greeting people as she went and dodging a few others until they were back near the front lobby, "You're going to go up these stairs. It's the second door on the right. I can wait here for you, catch a breather from all these guests." Clara fanned her face with her hand and Vivian thanked her as she walked up the stairs, careful not to look too eager.

Once she was out of sight of the woman, she glanced up and down the hallway to check for any servants. Deciding she was in the clear, Vivian put her hand on the closest door knob and turned it. Locked.

Moving up the hallway, Vivian tried every door on the left side only to be met with every one of them locked. Sighing in frustration she almost gave up as she leaned against the last door…and nearly fell backwards as it opened into a study. Surprised, she caught herself and stared around in awe at the book shelves that lined the walls and the beautiful oak desk that sat near the window. Glancing around, she took in everything in one brief glance before deciding which item would be worth the most and would be the easiest to conceal.

Once more, she steeled herself. She was about to rob this house, to rob the Clara's family…a family that had more than enough money, she argued, to save her own family. To save Wesley…to save herself. Nancy was more than right. Sometimes you had to do things against your morals to save yourself from doing something far worse.

Walking over to the bookshelf, she found a small case with a gold coin on display. It had the profile of a man with foreign words curved along the top. Nibbling her lip, she slowly held her hand out to touch the glass case just as a voice startled her from behind, "If you're looking for the powder room, it was the second door on the right."

A/N: Uh oh. Someone's been caught! Teehee. A few things I'd like to mention: you all should follow me on twitter, links in my profile. I generally tweet about how my chapter's coming. This one took me forever simply because I knew how I wanted to write about the dinner party but Nancy's story took me a little off track. However, there will be more of the dinner party in the next chapter.

On a slightly different note, I have the majority of this story's Epilogue written as well as a tiny bit of Blink's prologue. Perhaps, if I get a bunch of reviews, I'll put up a teaser of the prologue in the next chapter's author note.

Thank you to all who've read and reviewed this! OH! And this story made the final cut on Shotrock's NYNA summer contest! So, it'd be lovely if you all voted for it!

Review!

Truly,

Joker is Poker with a J~

Disclaimer: I own nuffin.