How Facebook Destroyed My Life
Chapter 11 - Rufus Shinra
Raised Me Up
"Hey Rufus you should so totally come out to the bar with us tonight, it'll be fun to just relax and have a few drinks." Lauren said trying to convince the head of Shinra corp. to go out for a good time.
"Well I suppose that I could do with a bit of a change of scenery, alright I'm in." Rufus conceded which made Lauren smile. She filled him in on all the details of when and where to meet her, his sister and the rest of the Turks.
*Oh this is going to be just priceless, this'll be the last time the prick tries to get me to bend over for him* Lauren thought as she left his office an evil smirk on her face.
~That Night~
Lauren smiled and waved to Rufus when he entered the bar late but still at least he bothered to show up at all. All the others were in on this prank even Tseng who normally avoided them at all costs. He had learned his lesson the last time Samantha and Lauren had decided to prank him. He still had yet to live that one down.
"Hey sorry I'm late traffic you know." Rufus said in way of an explanation for his lateness.
"S'ok anyways here's yours we've had it ordered for a while now." Lauren said sliding his drink down to him.
Rufus looked to Tseng who he trusted with his life and when Tseng nodded Rufus chugged his drink. Lauren smirked to herself because she had slipped 2 Viagara into his drink and signed him up for the bar's karaoke.
After another few rounds of drinks Rufus stood up when he heard his name called and he went to the stage to sing his song. Lauren had chosen the song you raise me up by Josh Grobin for him to sing.
Rufus sang a few bars and just as he was coming to the chorus for the second time his pants started to seem a little tighter to the Turks. And sure enough just as he was singing the words "you raise me up" the tenting in his pants became painfully obvious to the audience who hooted and hollered at him.
Lauren had been videotaping the entire thing and she laughed when it was over and she quickly hid her camera as Rufus walked back over to them. "Why are they all making such a fuss over me singing?" Rufus asked words slurred ever so slightly.
"Dunno boss man maybe they didn't like the song choice?" Reno stated able to keep a straight face while saying it.
~Begin Facebook Comments~
Rufus Shinra was tagged in a video posted by Lauren Valentine
Reno: fuck yo funniest shit I've seen outta u yet
Lauren: why thank you Red
Samantha: oh god he is never gonna hear the end of this u know?
Lauren: that was the point, little whore needed to be taught a lesson
Tseng, Samantha, Reno, Rude, Elena, Cloud, Vincent and Reeve like Lauren's comment
Tseng: the timing really couldn't have been more prefect either, I swear u must have practiced this
Vincent:….she has
Lauren likes Vincent's comment
Tseng: oh dear god…. Ur sick u know that right?
Samantha, Vincent, Reno, Rude, Cloud and Elena like Tseng's comment
Lauren: yep ive been told that a few times yet I still manage to keep Vinnie around
Vincent: what can I say….. ur a sick bitch in all the right ways
Lauren likes Vincent's comment
Samantha: ugh please not on this post god get a room
Lauren: am in a room trust me u don't know what ur missing
Samantha: I totally do thanks
Rufus: OMG WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?! AND WHY CAN'T I REMOVE MYSELF FROM THIS POSTING?!
Lauren: that would be because I turned off the remove from post feature thanks to my hacking skills ^_^
Vincent, Samantha, Reeve, Cloud, Reno, Rude, Elena and Tseng like Lauren's comment
Rufus: I fucking hate you
Lauren: sorry no fucking for u, least not from me :)
Vincent: agreed she's mine u cesspool
Samantha, Lauren, Cloud, Tseng, Reno, Rude and Elena like Vincent's comment.
~End Facebook Comments~
Rufus walked back into his office trying to hide his face from everyone but they all just looked at him and laughed loudly. Apparently she had posted this video to the Shinra website as well as every other site she could think of. His life was over it was official.
"Maybe next time you want to tell a woman to bend over for your own personal enjoyment you may give it a second thought huh boss man?" Reno asked standing in the doorway laughing.
Rufus just groaned and buried his face in his hands to hide the blush and his shame.