A/N - Man, this has been so long overdue. I am happy to tell you though, I am cured of my writer's block. I'm really looking forward to writing the rest of this story, and I hope you like this chapter.
Emma sat on the park swing, letting her feet rake back and forth across the ground, her eyes lowered. The swing next to hers rattled for a moment.
"So, I got your text," Manny's voice came softly.
Her eyes still lowered, Emma gave a small laugh. "This is stupid," she said, shaking her head.
She could practically feel Manny's eyes as they focused on her.
"What is?"
"This. What are we even fighting about?" Emma said, finally looking her in the eyes. Manny's hair was dressed in a pair of pajamas, her hair pulled back into a bun.
Manny shrugged, holding onto the swing as she drifted back and forth. "You tell me."
Emma bit her lip. She wasn't quite sure what to say. Why had she been doing this? Her head was spinning. "Fine, I'm sorry," she said honestly. "I way overreacted."
Manny nodded, then gave her a teasing smile. "You figured that one on your own, Nelson?" She laughed. "I'm sorry, too, I guess. I suppose it was slightly my fault anyway."
"I was really jealous."
Manny turned to look at her, confused. "Why?"
"I don't know." Emma shrugged, feeling that ache in her chest, the feelings she tried so hard to smother. Anger, sadness, failure, jealousy. Everything. "I just... was. I can't explain it. I don't know why, but I hated it, you know?"
"I was spending a lot of time with everyone else," Manny said.
Emma shook her head at her, smiling. "So? You shouldn't have to pick, Manny. You don't have to spend all your time with me." Even if I want you to, she thought bitterly.
"True," she agreed. "But I do want to spend time with you. It just gets so confusing. I don't know how to deal sometimes."
Emma raised an eyebrow.
"Like, with everyone else, everything is so simple," Manny tried to explain. "But with us, it's different. It's complicated, and I can't understand why."
"Me either."
"We have time to figure it out though," she said. "Right?"
Emma gave a small smile. "Of course."
It was at school the next day when Emma began to second guess her apology. Manny walked up to her, practically glowing.
"Are you eating lunch with me today?"
Emma smiled. "Is than an invitation?"
That's when it hit her. She'd have to eat lunch with her. Suddenly she felt like crying. She was going to have to pick again. Manny or her eating disorder? It made her sick inside. She couldn't stand not being around Manny anymore. She didn't understand it, but Manny was her best friend.
She couldn't gain weight though.
Manny didn't reply. She just looped her arm through Emma's and made her way to the cafeteria.
"So, you'll never believe what happened during cheer practice today..."
As Manny continued to talk, Emma zoned out, her mind focused on one thing. She needed excuses, she needed an escape. Did she want to escape this?
"Are you listening?"
Emma turned toward her, and forced a smile.
"Yeah, sorry, what did you say?"
Manny laughed, taking a seat at the table next to Darcy. Darcy gave a small hello toward Emma, who returned it half-heartedly. Sitting down, she took out her lunch bag and slowly ate her sandwich and yogurt as the others got lost in the conversation.
"Is it okay if I come by today?" Manny asked her.
"Sure, if you want to."
Manny grinned. "Cool, because I do."
When Emma finished, she stood up, balling her bag in her fist. "I've got to go to class, guys. I'll see you later, Manny?"
Manny raised an eyebrow. It wasn't a surprise to Emma when only a few people said bye to her. Emma smiled quickly, then practically ran to the bathroom, throwing her bag away as she went.
It didn't take long to get rid of what she had eaten. Flushing the toilet, she sat back down on the floor, leaning the back of her head against the bathroom stall wall. She ripped off a piece of toilet paper, wiping both her eyes and mouth.
She took a deep breath, trying to still her racing heart.
If this was supposed to make her happy, bring her control, then why was she so upset?