Chapter 11

Rocking Paige back to sleep after her midnight feeding, Kahlan's thoughts were far away from the nursery in the People's Palace in D'Hara as she struggled to determine what exactly was going on.

Ever since waking the other day, she'd had a certain unsettling feeling rolling around in the pit of her stomach, something nudging her brain telling her that this was all wrong. It had all set her on edge.

It was an overwhelming feeling of apprehension that kept eating away at her, growing and intensifying with every passing day. And the look that filled Richard's eyes when he stared at her was like a dagger to her soul, telling her that she was swiftly losing him to something that she couldn't begin to grasp.

Looking up, Kahlan suddenly noticed Richard standing in the doorway of the nursery. Despite everything that was going on, Kahlan couldn't help the flush of need that always swept through her every time she saw him.

His brow was furrowed, his hair disheveled as he stood there watching her, wearing nothing but his sleeping pants. She still couldn't help but want him more than anything at that moment. He'd always had such an intense effect on her since the day she had met him.

"Hi," he simply said with a hesitant smile.

"Hi," she just as softly replied, feeling the sudden awkwardness that permeated the air.

She felt her heart flutter as she looked at him, trying to read all of the emotions passing over his face as he walked towards her, settling down in the rocking chair beside her.

Kahlan lowered her eyes, unable to meet his penetrating gaze any longer. He seemed to be trying to read her, trying to gauge her stability or lack thereof. She felt as though Richard thought she was somehow a danger to herself, to others, to their daughters.

"How are you feeling?" he gently began, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees as he intently watched her.

"I'm alright," she lied, avoiding making eye contact as she kept her focus on the baby now sleeping in her arms, her teeth finding her bottom lip.

She was a horrible liar and Richard unfortunately knew it. Even with whatever was going on, Kahlan was certain he would still be able to read her.

His hand suddenly found her knee, bringing her attention back to him. Gazing into the warmth that lived there in those dark brown orbs, Kahlan felt as though she could hide in those soulful depths, those eyes that knew her better than anyone ever had or ever would.

She felt her pulse quicken as he tenderly began running his thumb back and forth, that familiar aching pleasure that consumed her core stirring in the wake of his presence. Richard always awakened that simmering longing with something as simple as a look or a touch. She was powerless against him and he knew that as well.

"Kahlan, I'm scared…I'm afraid that I'm losing you."

The sound of his voice so heartbroken and frightened caused tears to sting her eyes as she looked away from him, anywhere but at him. She couldn't let him see how deeply he affected her, how scared she was that he was right.

"I'm not going to leave you, my love."

"I've asked the healer to come see you tomorrow."

Kahlan suddenly bristled beneath his touch with his words. He truly believed that it was all her, that she was going mad. She had been holding out hope that she had just been overreacting, but now he had just confirmed her suspicions.

She immediately got up, moving to Paige's crib. Standing before the bassinet, she hung her head.

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?" she sadly asked, bitterness permeating her voice as she laid Paige down in her crib, adjusting the blanket around her daughter.

"No, I don't," he unexpectedly murmured softly behind her ear, his breath against her skin sending tingles through her body as his hands suddenly found her shoulders before skimming down her arms. "But I'm terrified that something is wrong with you, Kahlan."

His sudden appearance behind her had startled her, his nearness sending a shiver down her spine. She involuntarily trembled beneath his touch as he nuzzled his nose into her hair, seeking out her earlobe.

She sighed as her heart thumped harder in anticipation as his hands slowly snaked around her waist, holding her flush against his masculine body. Without thought, her hands automatically moved to cover his arms, keeping her in his embrace.

"Richard, there is nothing wrong with me," she breathed as her head tilted back against his shoulder, his lips finding her neck. "I'm fine."

"Kahlan, you didn't remember our daughter's name."

"But…" she began, stopping to take back some of the air he was stealing away with his kisses.

"Spirits, Kahlan…you didn't even remember losing Zedd," he exclaimed with such urgency as he paused his attention to her neck, causing her to suddenly turn around in his arms to face him.

Richard gripped her face firmly in his hands, pressing his forehead against hers. Fear mingled with desire, masking the strength and confidence that usually accented his handsome features.

The site of him so upset, so distraught caused a firestorm of conflicting emotions to abruptly erupt inside of her. Richard really believed that she was slipping away from him. Maybe she really was.

Swallowing past the tightness in her throat, Kahlan whispered, "I'm so sorry, Richard. I never meant to cause you so much worry. I'll see the healer tomorrow, but please will you do me a favor?"

"Anything, Kahlan," he muttered, his brow creasing again as he stared intently into her eyes.

"If the healer says that there is nothing wrong with me and that I am fine, will you please listen to me and believe me when I tell you that something else is going on?" she asked him, determined to make them see that she was not losing her mind.

"Kahlan, I will always listen to you. You know that…"

"I know, Richard, but this is something that is affecting you and Cara. I don't know how to explain it except that events are changing. Things have altered drastically since you brought me back from the past."

"I'm your husband, Kahlan. I will always believe you no matter what. Please, talk to me."

"I want to wait to talk to you until after I've seen the healer and prove to you that I'm not going mad. Once your mind is put at ease, then you will be better able to truly listen to what I have to say."

Richard stared at her for several moments before finally answering. "If that is what you want," he softly replied with a sigh.

Kahlan could see the hurt that swam in his eyes. She wanted to tell him everything – tell him that Zedd could not possibly be dead, that Cara was will Garren and not Commander Holland, and that their baby's name was Priya. But she also knew that he wouldn't be able to listen to her when so many doubts still lingered in his mind regarding her stability.

"Come, let's go back to bed," she finally said, disengaging herself from his hold on her and making her way towards their bedchamber.

Standing in the doorway, Kahlan watched as Richard stood there at Paige's crib for a moment, running his hand back through his hair in that familiar way that told her his mind was at war with his heart.

He finally turned, staring at her for a heartbeat before following her out of the nursery. The look of bewilderment stung like ice picks at her core, but she knew in her heart that this was the best way of convincing him.

Walking towards the bed, Kahlan unexpectedly felt a hand grabbing hers, pulling her to an abrupt stop before turning her around. She suddenly found herself pressed against his body, an open mouthed kiss greeting her slightly parted lips.

Her moan filled his mouth, his breath becoming hers as she melted into him against her will. She was completely defenseless when it came to Richard Rahl and no amount of Confessor's training, no amount of sheer will could ever come close to resisting him. Not now; not after tasting the sweet rapture that he alone could bring.

She had fought against him for far too long since meeting him, against her heart and her magic, the life that she had believed the spirits had sentenced her to as a Confessor. But Richard had completely rewritten what history had taught, what powerful Wizards of long ago had created when they had fashioned the special race of women known as Confessors.

He'd alone had the capacity to love a Confessor far beyond her flawless magic, the magic that was supposed to have been invincible. The magical touch of love had been defeated by the perfect love that came from a pure heart – Richard's heart.

"I love you, Kahlan," he panted softly. "No matter what happens, please believe how much I love you."

"I love you too, Richard," she gasped as he crushed his lips against hers once more.

Kissing him now, she surrendered herself to him, willingly giving herself to him all over again. He quickly swept her up into his arms just like he had swept her off her feet that fateful day in Hartland.

As he carried her to their bed, kissing her breathless, Kahlan silently prayed that the healer would be able to provide the proof that she so desperately needed that there was more going on then they realized.

XXX

A sudden noise at the door alerted Nicci that someone was coming. She felt her stomach quiver at the thought of it being Richard. He had either come to see her because he needed her or to end her existence as he had promised yesterday morning.

Either way, she couldn't help the small smile that touched her lips with the thought of being able to see him again.

She knew that she was being foolish with her fanciful thoughts and hopeless desires that would never come to fruition, but she couldn't help herself. Richard had sparked a joy in her heart that could never be smothered.

The lock clicked and the door opened to reveal Cara followed by six Mord'Sith. Nicci felt her heart falter at the site of the Sisters of the Agiel, disappointed that it was not Richard who had come to see her.

"Sorry, it's only me. Lord Rahl will not be coming to see you," Cara coldly smirked as she made her way to the Sister of the Dark.

Nicci rose to her feet, knowing that this was not going to be a social visit. "How is Kahlan? Has she woken yet?"

Cara's gaze immediately narrowed to daggers on the sorceress as she attempted to judge the sincerity in her question. She bristled with Nicci's use of Kahlan's name, so familiar like they had once been best of friends or even acquaintances instead of enemies.

"No, she hasn't woken yet. You had better pray that she does wake soon or you could find yourself on the wrong end of Lord Rahl's sword," Cara hissed, disdain filling her every word as she came to stand before her.

"I truly hope that Kahlan will be alright. I am sorry for what I have done, Cara. I hope that you will believe me someday."

"You have a long road ahead of you in order to prove it to me, but I'm not the one that you need to be concerned with, at least not at this moment. It seems you've done enough to convince Lord Rahl. He wants me to take you with us to diffuse the Dragon's Breath your master has acquired."

Cara noticed the sudden upturn of Nicci's lips, wanting more than anything at that moment than to slam her agiels into her face and wipe away that look of delight that Lord Rahl had even thought of her. She had no right to be thinking that way about him.

Richard belonged to Kahlan and no one else. Cara would make sure it stayed that way.

"I am honored that Richard trusts me enough to help him in the battle with Darken Rahl," Nicci proudly replied, eager to prove again her loyalty to him. "I will do everything I can to make sure that he and his family is safe."

"You had better because one wrong move and I will happily end your life regardless of Lord Rahl's reaction," Cara glared at the Sister, a sneer fixed on her face.

Cara almost prayed for the chance to dole out some retribution for the pain Nicci had caused her friends. She would be her shadow from here on out.

Dangling the key to the Rada'Han before Nicci's face, Cara wordlessly let her know in no uncertain terms that she was in charge and would quickly force it back on her neck if she didn't obey.

Nicci quickly pulled her hair aside, allowing the Mord'Sith access to the magical weapon. She was anxious to get the collar off of her neck, to feel that magical force that existed in her core and flowed through her veins.

She had let Richard down by not telling him about the embedded spell she had placed in Kahlan's mind, but she would not make that mistake twice. She would finally prove to him once and for all that she truly deserved the faith and trust that he had placed in her.

Feeling the metal slip from her neck, Nicci began to feel the hum of magic returning to her body. She felt alive again, more like herself. And she was more than anxious to pay Darken Rahl a personal visit.

XXX

Finding his horse ready and waiting for him, Richard couldn't hide the joy of seeing Asa again. After everything that had been happening, he hadn't been able to get away to just ride him in weeks. He had been the best present Kahlan had given him beside his daughters.

Drawing closer, Asa began to snort and whinny, stamping his hooves in excitement at the site of his master approaching. Richard smiled at the stead's reaction as he reached up and stroked his mane.

He had never felt such a connection to an animal before Asa. It was as if they were of one mind sometimes, almost knowing what the other was thinking.

Resting his forehead against his horse, Richard drew a deep breath as he attempted to quiet the tempest in his heart. He hadn't left their suite in a week. It was hard now to be away from her, knowing that Kahlan was suffering and there was nothing he could do to put an end to it.

Seeing Asa now, he was reminded of her again, of her love for him.

"Let's do this, my friend," he murmured as he patted the horse before climbing up onto his mount.

Just then, Garren rode up beside him, his sword drawn and ready to follow his leader into battle. Commander Holland was following closely behind him, just as prepared for war.

"Commander Holland, I want you to take the men on the west side of the Palace to protect our flank in case Rahl decides to send his army over those mountains on that side as well," Richard ordered, pointing to the mountainous horizon the sun was quickly sinking behind.

"Aye, my Lord," Holland proudly saluted him with a nod of his head in agreement with his plan. "May the spirits protect you, Lord Rahl."

"You as well, my friend. We'll see each other back here when this is all over," Richard confidently replied.

Unsheathing his sword, Richard held it high above his head as he yelled at the men surrounding him.

"For D'Hara!"

The men immediately broke out into wild cheers, all shouting in response as they prepared to head out into the coming night; their swords raised high in answer to the battle cry.

Standing high in his stirrups, Richard scanned the sea of men that stretched as far as he could see, trying desperately to imprint their faces, both so young and others more mature, into his mind. He was sending these men either to a glorious victory or to their deaths. It was not something that he took lightly.

Settling back into his saddle, Richard gave the signal to open the central gate. Leading the men out into battle with Garren closely by his side, he could feel his blood begin to sing in perfect harmony with the magic of the weapon he gripped tightly in his hand.

The magic infused into his sword inundated him, awakening the connection he held with the weapon in his core. His rage began to rise closer and closer to the surface, growing hotter and hotter as the familiar sensation of hunger for retribution began to pound wildly through his veins.

Staring straight ahead of him, his raptor gaze was leveled on the army quickly approaching over the ridge.

Pressing the blade to his forehead, Richard whispered softly to it, "Sword, be true to me this day."

As confident peace swiftly washed over him, Richard felt the fire in his belly steadily intensifying, coursing through his body with a fierce need to wipe out anyone and anything that stood in the way of peace for his people, his family.

All of his anger and fears over Kahlan that he'd locked away in his heart suddenly burst forth, bubbling up to the surface as well, his deep frustration and hurt furiously seeking release. He needed to free himself of all the pent up anguish before he went mad.

This was the perfect storm, all points converging at this precise moment – the helpless frustration, the fears, the rage, the hurt, the injustice all coming together as they mingled and coalesced in his system, providing him the strength and the endurance to not only fight, but to survive.

And this was something that he knew that he could do for her instead of just sitting idly by holding her hand, helplessly waiting for her to recover from Nicci's spell. Even though the dark sorceress had removed it from her mind, Richard still feared that something more was keeping him from getting his wife back.

Something had invaded Kahlan's mind, dragging her further and further away from him. And when this night was over, he was going to do everything in his power to bring her back despite Nicci's insistence that she would eventually recover. That day was not coming soon enough for Richard's breaking heart.

In this, though, Richard knew that he could do something, protect her and save her from his brother's vile touch. That thought of Darken Rahl touching Kahlan in places that he alone was privileged as her husband and lover to know so intimately, to touch and caress caused a growl of loathing and wrath to leap from deep within his throat, his blade suddenly turning white with the sheer intensity of his fury.

Kahlan deserved to be safe from harm, of never having to fear his brother's threats. Richard knew what Darken Rahl was capable of and it shook him to his very core to think of anything close to that happening to his beloved.

He only had one life to give and he would gladly give it up for her…