Holding On

JacobxBella

Rated M

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the franchise, as it belongs to Steph Meyers

Holding On

Chapter 11

Christmas and New Years had passed by and Jacob and Bella's relationship had changed from best friends to romantic couple. And their relationship really was romantic. Jacob seemed to be the embodiment of a perfect prince; at least that was what the envious girls at Bella's school would say. They were very envious of Bella and wished frequently that they were the ones being picked up on a motorcycle by the Quileute boy or being loved and hugged on, sharing sweet kisses with him. Even the ones that had boyfriends wished that their significant other was like the motorcycle riding boy and would show affection to them the way he did to Bella. All in all Bella and Jacob were the "it" couple and it wasn't long before everyone in the little town of Forks, Washington and La Push knew it.

Bella herself was very much enjoying the time she was spending with Jacob. It was still hard for her to believe that he was now her boyfriend, but at the same time it was so real that she couldn't help but smile at the prospect of it. She would admit, she really had a few doubts that Jacob would probably get tired of her, especially with having to deal with her whenever she was dealing with her cancer, but he had yet to leave and would constantly reassure her that he was there to stay and that she was going to fight and beat her stage four stomach cancer. And she couldn't help but believe him whenever he told her so. He, along with her parents, his dad, and Angela believed it and had faith that she would. And as pessimistic as she was most of the time, she was starting to truly believe that she would, too.

"Bella! Come down, would you please!" Renee called up the stairs one Saturday morning in March while drying her hands from doing the dishes. When she heard no movement following her voice, she called again, "Bella!"

Renee frowned when her daughter still had yet to answer. Feeling concerned she headed up the stairs and down the hallway to peer into her daughter's bedroom. Seeing it empty she said, "Bella?"

"I-In here," Bella's voiced drifted from the direction of the bathroom, her voice sounding shaky.

The woman went to the bathroom to the slightly ajar door and lightly pushed it open. The sight that greeted her made her gasp and cover her hand with her mouth. Bella was standing at the sink looking paler than she ever had, she had dark circles under her eyes, she had lost more weight in her face and in general, and her brown hair was so thin and was now sporting bare patches exposing her scalp. Walking over to her she gently grabbed her shoulders and said, "Oh baby."

Bella slowly ran her fingers through her hair and stared at the clump of brown hair that came out. She looked up at her mother and said, "I look horrible, mom."

"Honey, I knew the last round of chemotherapy you had last week was rough on you and you had to miss school for the rest of the week, but I didn't know it was affecting you this bad. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want you to worry. And honestly my hair began falling out like this two days ago." Bella coughed some before clearing her throat and speaking again. "Also, I haven't had much of an appetite since the chemo. Then again, Dr. Cullen said that that dose was going to be a bit more than usual and might affect me like this, but it's all part of the healing process. You have to take the good with the bad, right? And like you always say, there's a rainbow at the end of the storm."

"Yeah…" Renee said softly. She was happy that her daughter was being a bit optimistic about her healing, but she couldn't help but feel sad seeing her only child like this. She looked at Bella's thinning and falling out hair and lightly touched it before pulling her hand away.

Bella looked at herself in the mirror with a sad expression before saying, "I really do look horrible. How can Jake even stand to look at me?"

Renee hugged her daughter and said, "Honey, don't be ridiculous. Jacob adores you and doesn't care what you look like. And he is so supportive of you during this rough time in your life. You are beautiful to him no matter what; you have to remember that."

"She's right, you know," a voice suddenly cut in. Bella and Renee turned to see Jacob standing in the doorway of the bathroom, his brown eyes gazing at his girlfriend with a genuine, loving smile on his face.

"Jake," Bella said softly, her face turning red at the realization that her boyfriend had heard what she said and said something in response to her mother's words. She pulled away from her mother and stepped up to him before saying, "I was hoping you'd never see me like this."

Jacob wrapped his strong arms around her thin body, holding her close to him. Kissing her forehead he replied, "I don't care, Bella. A change in appearance isn't going to change how I feel about you. And I promised you that no matter what you have to go through dealing with this disease, I will always be by your side."

"And you'll still think I'm pretty when I go completely bald?"

"Yes, even then."

Bella was really touched by Jacob's reassuring words and she wrapped her own arms around his waist, returning his hug as she leant her head against his broad, muscular chest. Jacob was such a sweetheart and she firmly believed that God spent extra time creating this angel just for her. Her support system was small, but Jacob seemed to be a full sixty percent of it, the other forty percent her parents, Angela, and Dr. Cullen. She looked up at her boyfriend and gave him a genuine, loving smile that she seemed to reserve just for him. Even her eyes, as tired as they looked, were shining.

Pulling away she looked up at him and said, "I feel better now."

Jacob smiled and kissed her sweetly on the lips before saying, "That's great. And don't worry about losing your hair. You'll get to wear the awesome beanies I brought you."

The brunette tilted her head as she watched Jacob leave the bathroom and head down the hall. She looked back at her mom and said, "I've never worn a beanie."

Renee smiled and replied, "He probably thinks you might prefer it to the scarves most cancer patients wear from losing their hair from chemotherapy."

Bella nodded before leaving the bathroom to head back to her room, her mother following her only to head back down the stairs. In her room Jacob was sitting on her bed with a bag in his hand. He smiled at her as she walked over to him and sat down next to him. Reaching into the bag he said, "I bought three of them, and I thought you might like it better than a scarf."

"Funny, mom said the same thing," Bella said.

Jacob chuckled as he pulled out a solid grey beanie and handed it to his girlfriend. He reached into the bag again and pulled out a dark blue one, followed by the last one that was black. Handing them to the brunette he said, "I know you're not really into bright colors, so I thought these would be a good start. And look at the blue one along the edge."

Bella did so and saw sewn in white thread My Bells, love Jake. She couldn't help but smile at the little inscription and run her finger over it. Putting the other two beanies aside, she stood and walked over to the mirror in her room and put the piece of headwear on. After fixing it to her desired style she turned back to her boyfriend and asked, "How do I look?"

"Awesome," the Quileute boy answered with a wide grin on his face. Standing he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. Looking at her through the mirror he said, "And you'll always be beautiful to me, during this process and after when you recover from beating your stomach cancer."

Another smile found its way on Bella's face as she looked at him for a moment before kissing his temple. Looking back into the mirror at herself she looked at the beanie rested on her head, covering the bald patches of her thinning hair. Reaching up she took it off, looking at the strands of hair that went with it. It probably wouldn't be long before she completely lost all of her hair. She could bet that her next round of chemo would be what did it. Making a decision she nodded and moved away from Jacob, walking towards her desk to get something. Jacob's eyes widened when he saw what exactly she had in her hands.

Holding up the pair of scissors Bella said, "Jake, I trust you."

"Uh, you mean, you really want me to cut your hair?" Jacob asked just to make sure he wasn't wrong about what Bella wanted him to do. When he received a nod, he hesitantly took the scissors before saying, "Only if you're sure."

"I am, just like I was when I got Charlie to cut it the first time. Oh, and Charlie's hair clippers and in the bathroom as well for what you can't cut off with the scissors."

"Yeah, but you're asking me to make you bald."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jacob stared at his girlfriend for a moment before nodding and telling Bella to sit in her computer chair. He grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped it around her shoulders before taking a deep breath and bringing the blades of the scissors to her brown locks. Taking a deep breath, he began to snip off Bella's hair shorter and shorter.

Charlie and Renee sat and watched in silence as their daughter and her boyfriend cuddled on the couch, Bella almost asleep in Jacob's arms, her now bare head rested on his shoulder. Renee had heard the clippers the moment they were turned on and caught them in the act. Her daughter had immediately told her that she wanted and asked Jacob to do that to her and to not flip out, not that she was going to; she was just surprised. Charlie on the other hand was more than caught by surprise to return from work to see his only child completely bald. After he had calmed down from his shock, his ex-wife told him Bella's reasons and he was able to accept it afterwards.

The two adults continued to stare at the teenagers before Charlie gently grabbed Renee's hand and drug her towards the kitchen. Once they reached it he let go of her hand and turned to face her. Looking down at her he asked, "What's going through your mind right now?"

Renee shrugged before saying, "I don't know. I guess I'm just thinking about whether or not we will have more years with our daughter or will she ultimately succumb to her stomach cancer." She looked up at her ex-husband to see a frown on his face. "I don't mean to sound negative or anything, but just seeing her earlier today really scared me, though I didn't let her know that."

"She knows we're scared for her, even without saying so. But it's important that we believe that she will get better. After all you have enough faith for the both of us," Charlie replied.

Charlie placed a comforting hand on Renee's shoulder and rubbed it a bit before leaving her to tell Jacob that he needed to be heading home soon.

Bella walked Jacob out to his Rabbit, her new beanie on her head and her hand in his bigger one. When they reached his car he turned to her and pulled her into a warm embrace, not wanting to let go. He wasn't the only one, though. Bella herself didn't want their time to end just yet, but if she was honest she felt so close to falling asleep and just wanted to snuggle up in her bed.

Turning her head up to Jacob she said softly, "I'll see you later."

Smiling Jacob nodded and said, "See you later."

The two of them shared a kiss before Jacob got in his car and drove away towards home. Bella stood and watched him leave until he was completely out of sight, then she turned around and walked back inside her home. She gave her parents each a goodnight hug before heading up to her bedroom. Changing into her sleepwear she took her beanie off and put it with the other two before pulling her sheets back and climbing into bed. After taking her medications she turned her lamp off and snuggled under her bed sheets, pulling her comforter up to her chin. And as she drifted off into sleep, a soft smile appeared on her lips as her dreams were filled with her wonderful, wonderful Jacob.