note: i was just listening to "don't jump" by tokio hotel (my favorite band EVER), and because i couldn't think of a better chapter title and i LOVE THAT SONG, that explains the odd chap title.

how awesome am i?? awesome. that's how awesome. and would you like to know why? because even though i have writers sniffles (that horrible aftermath of writers block, sort of like a small cold after having the flu), even though i am turning 16 TOMORROW and have more planning for my sweet 16 than i ever thought possible, even though my bedroom is so hot right now that i literally cannot breathe and i have actually paid my 9-year-old stepbrother 10 to stand over me and fan me and occasionally spritz (how the french toast do i spell that? is it even a word?) some water on me (note the OCCASIONALLY so as not to disrupt the gentle workings of my stepsister's beautiful macbook air, which for the reader's benefit is the sexiest computer on earth), i am sitting here typing for you. even though i had an AMAZING chapter written out, i lost my notebook (how responsible am i…), even though i have to use my stepsister's gorgeous computer WITHOUT PERMISSION, i am sitting here typing for you. guess who's proud of herself? me! but enough about her- ahem, me, why am i referring to myself in the 3rd person now?!- and let's get own (i deliberately typed "own" for pronunciation reasons) with the story!!

as is recent custom, i'd like to dedicate this chapter to mistresselektra (check out her AMAZING fic, Blackbird Fly), because her story gave me the courage to open up about how one of my siblings grew up, and some of the disorders i've struggled with. mistresselektra, if you're reading this, thank you with all my heart. i'd have never been able to share the hardships i've endured with out your emotional, moving story. my entire family, mum especially, thanks you for everything. (please note, for all who will accuse me of plagiarism, I had the idea for the M-rated stuff long before I found her story, I swear to God.) also, i'd like to thank MusicADD for her influence on the story. her review DRAMATICALLY changed the direction of the story. everybody give her cookies. the more cookies she gets, the faster i update. xD

on a happier note, somebody in the following chapter is on their way to a severe ass-kicking!! yay!!

BPOV

If I'd ever feared Jake before in my life, it was nothing compared to what I was anticipating now.

"I'm…what?" I asked Edward incredulously, even though I knew exactly what he'd said.

"Pregnant," he replied, his full lips now forming a hard line. He seemed somewhat irritable and tense, although my mind was a little too preoccupied at the moment to realize why. I was too busy thinking of everything that would happen. First, I get myself pregnant. Then, I have the baby. Next…well, what would happen next? If he was capable of hurting me, imagine what he could do to a child. And beyond that, the odds of him being able to impregnate are probably dramatically due to his…substances…a/n: that last sentence was the thing from MusicADD's review…props to you, girl, the entire story is better because of that review!! So I was frightened that-

"Oh my God."

I stood there, shivering. I was naked, cold, and very wet. Why was he doing this?

I was frozen there, unable do anything. I was terrified, but I knew there was no way I could run now. He had me.

I tensed up, waiting for the expected blow. But it never came. Instead, he began to run his hands all over me. I was so frightened. What was going on?

I tried to scream for the one who would make it better, the one who would save me, my own personal Superman. But I knew he wouldn't come…

"Bella!" I heard someone scream as the white tiled floor came closer and closer to my face. I was about to make contact when something caught me just in time. I was grateful, and extremely confused. "Bella! Are you alright? Bella! Talk to me!"

It was Edward. He, in all his Abercrombie model glory, caught me. And man, was he toned…

STOP. NOW. We do not have those kinds of feelings about people we shared a night like that with, especially when they're our doctor…our smooth, sleek-

Shut your trap, bitch.

Huh. Who knew cursing at myself could shut myself up so well.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked me again. I nodded.

"Just a little shock, I suppose," I muttered, more to myself than to Edward. I realized that I was still in his arms. And what made me realize that, you may ask? Well, the fact that Edward's father had just walked in and was clearing his throat. That must look pretty damn wrong- his son, a doctor, cradling his pregnant patient. I was mostly sure that wasn't standard procedure.

"Edward?" Dr. Cullen senior asked. Edward moved as though he was about to put me down, but I had already leapt a/n: is it lept, leapt or leaped? from his arms. I turned about three different shades of red and looked, uncomfortably, to the eldest in the room and made a silly request: "Uh, Dr. Cullen?" Both doctors looked to me. Nice- I forgot they're both Dr. Cullen. Crap. "Er, senior?"

"Yes, Ms. Swan?"

"Would it…may I…may I ask to speak to your s- um, Dr. Cullen junior alone for just a minute?" Obviously, Dr. Cullen senior was entirely opposed to the idea, but I was his patient, and clearly, Dr. Cullen was a great and giving doctor, so with a slight nod and a swift "of course", he left the room.

"Alright," I began nervously. I'm pregnant." Edward nodded, his lips again a tight line. "But my boyfriend…well, he's always had…" What do I say? A heroin addiction? Fuck, no. "…fertility issues."The look on Edward's face made it apparent that he wasn't following. "And the only other person with whom I…" We both winced. "Um, I mean, the only other candidate for fatherhood is…"

"Oh, sweet loving God."

hah! how evil m i?

anyway, hope u liked it. also, i've been thinking. "carried away"? not so much. so guess what i'm having? a "let's rename the story" contest. just submit a review with a name you think would be appropriate, and then i'll pick my fave. thank you all! remember: i can't update till it's renamed, so get crackin' on those names!!

dove chocolate ice cream (that is some damn good stuff) for reviewers. :)