A/N - Thanks to everyone for continuing to read and review, it means a lot. I think I got this chapter up sooner than last time and hope to get the next chapter up in a few days.

sammie77a - Sam's life isn't forfeit as yet, Mandari was threatening to kill Sam if they didn't cooperate

RoseA26 - Yes, I am about to bring a few more facts to the fore, blame it on the uni training, been taught to keep the secrets back through the first half of something and release the bits slowly until one big bit of evidence lets it all make sense.

errin80 and Guest - yes I am going to start giving some light but a few other strange things are happening first. Unfortunately I'm not going to shed any more light on Ella for a while - only one person knows her identity other than me, my beta.

pre warning for errin80, murrinholi and Tel nok Shock - the emotional roller coaster is taking another lap of the circuit...

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Chapter 11 – All I want to do…

Earth November 10th 2010

Jack stood in the elevator playing with his collar, he'd just gotten used to breathing normally again and now here he was in the clothes he abhors. He'd already had to endure the car ride, the plane journey, another car ride and now he was faced with a meeting about god knows what with god knows who. The smell reaching his ears was familiar and reminded him of the good times, he pictured Daniel roaming the halls with his head in a translation and Sam fiddling with a doohickey whilst he sparred with Teal'c. He wondered what was so important that he was being dragged out of retirement.

The elevator doors opened and Chief Master Sergeant Walter Harriman looked up sheepishly, 'Good morning Sir, If you'd like to follow me Generals Vidrine and Landry and Mr Woolsey from the IOA are waiting for you in briefing room.' Jack shook his head as Walter led him through the maze that was Cheyene Mountain, 'I don't need an escort Sergeant,' Walter smiled, 'General Landry sent me to make sure you didn't get lost,' Jack raised an eyebrow, 'code for, not somehow find myself back in NORAD and walking off the base.'

When Jack arrived in the briefing room the aforementioned were seated around the table with a man he didn't recognize. Woolsey had a stack of papers, a legal pad and a pen poised at the ready. Vidrine looked uncomfortable and Hank seemed, for some reason, nervous.

Vidrine looked up and stood up to shake his hand, 'Jack, I trust the journey was pleasant,' Jack shook his hand then Hank's, 'Can we just cut to the chase, you know how much I hate the chit chat.' Hank clasped his hands together, 'It's a delicate situation…' Woolsey sat up straight, 'we feel Colonel Carter's objectivity may have been compromised by her current situation.'

Jack stared at them for a second and blinked twice to make sure he wasn't imagining it, 'did you just say you think Carter's objectivity has been compromised? Am I in the right universe, did I touch a fancy mirror or something?' Hank looked at him 'They're being serious Jack, there are concerns about her current circumstances and the IOA are being more than a little presumptuous.'

Woolsey glared, 'would you have compromised the safety of this planet rather than inconveniencing the Colonel?' It was obvious they had had this debate before, Vidrine turned to the IOA representative, 'that is not our position, we suggested the Quarantine period,' Woolsey looked pleased, 'something the IOA backed wholeheartedly,' Hank jumped in, 'but naming her as sole carer was irresponsible of the IOA.' Jack just stared, 'okay, someone wanna fill me in?'

Hank was seething and Woolsey started making notes. It was General Vidrine that turned to him, '20 days ago an Asgard stasis pod travelled through the Atlantis gate and closed Iris. The pod contained a female human infant, approximately 9 or 10 weeks old. The child formed an attachment to Colonel Carter during the period of consultation period between myself, the joint Chiefs, General Landry and the IOA. The unanimous agreement was that the child should remain in Atlantis during a quarantine period. During this time, any contagions she may be carrying would become apparent and there would be opportunity for the parents to claim her.'

Vidrine shot a glance at Woolsey before continuing, 'The IOA decided that Colonel Carter's bond with the child would make her an appropriate interim guardian.'

Jack jumped in, 'let me guess, you guys disagreed?' Hank nodded, 'she had enough to be doing without worrying about taking care of a baby,' Vidrine seemed to be thinking about what he was going to say, Woolsey jumped in before he could continue 'her outburst at CMSg Harriman proved our concerns to be valid, her workload and the pressures of caring for an infant are impossible to balance.' Jack waited for the punch line, 'And? What? You dragged me out of retirement because?' The other occupants of the table looked at each other, the man whom Jack did not recognize met his gaze for the first time.

Atlantis November 20th 2010

Sam stood nervously in the control room, she wasn't used to the apprehension or not being present for such an important meeting. She was furious too, Jack had dismissed her and told her he wanted to talk to Landry, Vidrine, Woolsey and another 'shrub' – his words, not hers - by the name of Smith-Johnson, alone. He'd ushered her out, shut the door and gestured she walk away, so much for not taking command – he'd practically pulled the seat out from under her.

The gate techs had dialed earth at his command and he had been having a heated discussion ever since. She watched him as his eyes grew wider and his mouth grew thinner, he was angrier than she could ever remember seeing him. He looked like he was going to lose it any minute. Her eyes widened as she saw his fist slam against her desk, he yelled something at the screen but the glass muffled his words.

Daniel stepped beside her, 'Can you remember the last time Jack was this angry?' she shook her head, 'no,' Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and frowned, 'no me either, I'm thinking we should be worried.' He looked from Sam to Jack and back again, 'do you think they'll let her stay here?' Sam didn't want to entertain that thought, she had been having that debate internally for the past few weeks and she had never liked the outcome. Today's events, however might tip the balance in her favour, in the short term at least. She couldn't see the IOA, the US Air Force, or indeed any of the government officials across the Earth, agreeing to bring a child wanted by a threatening alien race back to the planet. The threat level would be too great.

Jack tapped his hand on the desk and ended the videoconference. He was absolutely furious with the IOA. He marched from the room and across the walkway, 'Well? What did they say?' Daniel asked him, Sam simply watched him waiting for him to speak. 'She stays,' the relief on her face showed through her practiced officers poise, it warmed his heart but at the same time brought a sinking feeling to his gut, 'for now. You know the IOA, no decision is final until they've reviewed it, exhaustively.' The chauvinistic sons of bitches were right, their predictions were sexist but he had to admit they were spot on. He knew just by looking at Sam and the smile she was trying to hide, that she already loved that little girl. It broke his heart knowing what the IOA were planning.

Daniel said he was going to find Vala and that left him alone with Sam. He realized with all the commotion since the purple woman threatened Ella that he

hadn't checked if she was okay. 'Carter, how are you feeling?' She nodded and shrugged her shoulders slightly, 'I'm fine, I've got paperwork to catch up on if you've finished with my office.' He nodded, 'yeah, I'm finished, its just erm, I, er we need to file a report each on that woman, the purple one, and I haven't got a desk or a pen or anything.'

Sam shook her head, and relaxed a little, 'how have you been doing it up till now?' he tapped her computer monitor, 'been using your computer,' she thrust her chin forwards irritably and opened her mouth for a brief moment, 'its password protected,' he looked down at the keyboard, 'I know your password.' He swallowed nervously, she frowned, 'so what's my password?' he grinned, 'fishing.' She looked away and covered her keyboard as she typed in a new password. He studied the ceiling, 'Cassie97,' her mouth quivered holding back a smile, 'I'll get you a tablet, show you how to use it. Then I'll think up a new password.' His mouth opened before his brain could catch up, 'ooh, private tuition Colonel, the others will be jealous,' she turned around but not before he caught a glimpse of her quickly submerged smile. 'Come on, lets find McKay and get you kitted out,' he followed her away from the control room and into the transporter.

He looked around the small space, 'cosy, ain't it?' she wasn't impressed, 'until you get stuck in it for three hours with Zelenka,' she folded her arms and looked at the floor, 'oy,' he replied, desperately trying not to find the incident amusing. He suddenly found the map of the city very interesting, 'which button do I need for the labs?' he asked innocently. She shook her head and started telling him what was in each zone, he already knew but it was an excuse to watch her talk again.

He made the decision there and then to do whatever he needed to try and repair their friendship, losing her as his lover was one thing but to lose her as a friend too would be too much. He needed her in his life in some form and if she would consent to be his friend after everything that had happened it would be plenty enough for him and much more then he deserved. All too soon she pressed the correct button and the transporter zapped them down several levels.

When they reached the lab they found it empty, small mercies, Sam didn't feel like explaining the Colonel's ineptitude around technology to McKay, easier to issue him a tablet and let him moan. Sam crossed the lab and found McKay's neatly stored collection of tablets, cables, power leads, packs of stylus's, Lanteran-to-Tau'ri (or Lanteran-to-Earth depending upon who you asked) conversion leads and picked up one of the tablets. She heard a thud behind her, expecting the usual, she turned to see Jack putting a delicate looking piece of kit back on a bench, he withdrew his fingers quickly, and his eyes briefly met her gaze. She raised an eyebrow at him, he looked decidedly sheepish, 'it fell,' he shrugged at her silent question. She turned back to the tablet and powered it up, she failed to hide the hint of irritation in her voice as she spoke, 'of course it did Sir.' He tried to act like he used to years back, 'getting snippy are we Carter?'

He slipped closer to her and peered over her shoulder, 'whatcha doing?' she found herself a lot more irked by his childishness than she ever used to be, how she had found it endearing she would never know. 'Setting you up a password,' she typed in the first thing that came into her head, 'Fishing' and exited the window. 'Right, you should have access to everything you need now, your report needs to be finished by 09.00 tomorrow for the weekly data burst to the SGC.' He groaned and took the tablet.

Sam gestured towards the door; he followed glumly, tutting at the tablet. Once they reached the transport he pressed a button eagerly and looked very pleased with himself, the doors opened revealing the main thoroughfare of the east pier. Sam irritably closed the doors and pressed the correct keys for the control room. Wisely, he didn't speak again.

She entered her office, sat down at her desk and immediately began her report on the day's events. She heard him before she saw him, she wouldn't have known he was there if it wasn't for his loud tapping with his stylus. She peered over her screen and stared at him. He was making himself comfortable in one of her chairs; she ignored him and carried on with her work. She was well aware that he sneaked a glance at her every few seconds.

About twenty minutes later, he dragged the chair up to her desk and peeped over her screen, he didn't speak and waited for her to look up. He was wearing his innocent puppy dog eyes expression that made her go weak at the knees, he lifted his tablet over the screen 'where's word? I can't find it.' She couldn't find it in herself to be angry with him, she fought back a smile as she typed in a macro and immediately brought the word processing software installed on the tablet. He smiled and took the tablet back; he dragged his chair back to its place and settled down again.

Sam sighed and tried to concentrate on compiling her report, she failed abysmally. Just having him in the room was an unwanted attack on her senses, his smell was all around her, it was intoxicating and reminded her of her bedroom and everything that had gone on between the sheets. He subconsciously ruffled his hair and made it stick up, his brow was furrowed and he was deep in thought. She had always found him cute when he was trying to figure things out and today was no different.

Her mind started wandering into forbidden territory, flashes of him naked in her bed and slick with sweat, the memory of his hands touching her and his lips caressing her with passion, she felt a stirring in her stomach and fought back a moan. His cough brought her back down to reality with a jolt; she diverted her attention back to her screen and her report.

As she typed a brief summary of what Mandari had wanted, her mind filled with pictures of Ella. Tears pricked at her eyes as thought about the innocent little girl's future and how many people would think they knew what was best for her. Right now all she knew was Ella's need to be loved and that she was looking to her to protect her, the problem was, she needed to be protected from so many people, she didn't know if she could do it alone.

Jack stopped typing, he was sure he could hear Sam crying, but at the same time he was sure he was imagining it, Sam didn't cry at work. He looked around and to his dismay he could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. He hurriedly closed her office door and took his tablet to her desk, he placed it down in such a way it would appear they were discussing something, if anyone were to look.

He grabbed a box of tissues and pulled a few out, 'here,' she took them and sniffed, 'thanks,' she dabbed her eyes. 'I'm sorry, don't know what came over me,' he watched her worriedly, 'you're tired, you're stressed, and you're worried about Ella,' she stared at the desk and nodded. He hesitated before placing a hand on her shoulder, 'you're not in this alone you know,' she looked up at him, watching him, reading him, 'it's why I'm here,' he added, for more reasons than you know Sam, he thought silently to himself.

She looked away from him and thought for a few moments, she slipped her hand up to grasp his. 'I love her Jack,' she whispered clinging tightly to his hand, he squeezed back, 'I know,' she fought back tears again, 'they don't want me to keep her,' her voice trembled. He couldn't lie, 'no,' he gripped her hand as she fought back a sob. 'I will do everything I can to keep her with you,' she nodded, 'I know.'

He stood with her and let her cry, let her express herself in safety, she obviously still trusted him enough to let him see her at her most vulnerable. When she calmed down and released his hand he looked at the reports, 'go fetch her, spend some time with her, I can finish these.' She looked up at him for a moment as if to check he was being sincere, she nodded, 'thanks, for being here for me.' She stood up and cleaned her face with a tissue before crossing the room, 'always Sam,' he said softly, he knew she heard him, her hand froze for a second on the doorframe as she left.

…

Teyla, Daniel, Vala, Sheppard and Cam sat in the mess hall beside the full-length windows, their backs to the door. Baby Ella lay on her tummy on a play-mat in front of them; she reached for her rattle and eyed it determinedly. Torren was sat beside her playing with one of his toys, Ella stopped to watch him, fascinated as he hit his toy xylophone and heard it made a different animal noise with each bang.

'What do you think will happen to her?' Vala asked Daniel, gesturing at the baby, 'If you'd asked me this morning I'd have said she'll be sent back to earth and an appropriate family will be found to adopt her, but now ... what is she doing?' Daniel stared at the baby with concern, she was no longer staring at Torren but bouncing up and down on her hands doing mini-push ups tigger style, her little face lit up in a huge smile looking at something behind them.

'She has seen something she likes,' Teyla told him smiling, she turned to see what Ella was looking at and saw the Colonel only a few feet away walking towards them. Teyla could see the ever so slight redness and puffiness around her eyes but didn't comment. Ella bounced even more vigorously, 'hello Ella, what have you been doing?' Ella cooed loudly at her and followed Sam with her eyes as she walked past Vala and bent down beside her. Sam picked her up and balanced her on her hip, Ella continued to coo and babble, her eyes bright and happy. 'You've been playing with Torren and your rattle, I bet that's been lots of fun.'

Sam picked up the rattle, 'are you going to come play with me now for a couple of hours? Let Daniel and Vala have some peace? Yeah, come on then.' She shifted the little girl on her hip and turned her to face Torren, she waved Ella's hand at him, 'bye bye Torren see you soon,' Torren made a small waving gesture back.

Sam turned back to find Cam watching her bemused, 'I thought ya had a report to write,' Sam nodded, 'I did, all finished. We, will see you later,' she turned and walked away, once more talking animatedly to Ella and Ella babbling back.

Vala turned her attention from the pair to Daniel, 'so provided we get rid of this Mandari and her minions, Ella will be sent to Earth, you know Daniel I think I see a flaw in that theory,' Daniel nodded, 'yeah, me too.' Teyla watched as Sam left the room, something had obviously upset her, 'would they really insist the child be sent to Earth?'

Sheppard and Cam looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders, 'wouldn't surprise me,' the younger man replied, 'but they look pretty close, it'd be damn cruel to separate them.' Daniel nodded, 'I agree,' Teyla thought for a moment, 'could Colonel Carter not adopt her herself?' Cam shrugged his shoulders again, 'I suppose, but the air force aren't all that happy with single parents in combat zones, hell they aren't exactly accommodating to single parents full stop. I can't see 'em agreeing to an adoption if it means Sam retiring. She's too valuable to 'em.' The group sat deep in thought, it was Teyla that broke the silence, 'but that little girl thinks she's her mother.'

...

Sam sat on the edge of her bed, holding Ella close. Ella turned her head and leaned against Sam, she yawned and grabbed a handful of Sam's trademark long-sleeved black v-necked t-shirt and pulled it up to her mouth. Sam shuffled back and lifted her legs, turning herself so she was lying flat on the bed, her head on her pillows. Ella snuggled up on top of her, wriggling so her head was on Sam's chest. Sam stroked her back gently, 'would you like to stay with me all the time Ella, eh, you and me, what do you think?' She reached out for the blanket and pulled it over the two of them, she shifted Ella up so her head was just beside her chin and stroked the soft fair hair, 'I'd love nothing more than to be your new mommy.'

She placed a delicate kiss on Ella's head and looked up at the ceiling, 'I just don't think it can happen. Not how I want it to. I love my job and if I left I'd feel like I was letting everyone down, you can't just replace someone with my experience. If I had my way, I'd still be in command of Atlantis and you'd live out here with me.' She realized her face was wet with tears, she kissed the small head again and listened to the sounds of her breathing, she closed her eyes and inhaled her unique smell, 'god I love you so much Ella, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't keep you. I'd give up everything for you.' She held the little girl tighter as if that would stop the Air Force and IOA from doing everything they could to take her from her.

All I want to do …

… is love you.