Chapter Eleven

Jane was livid.

She had, of course, called the FBI demanding to speak to someone above Davies as soon as Maura told her about him stopping her in the parking garage. The only problem was that there weren't many people above Davies, and the guy she ended up talking to – whose position wasn't entirely clear to her – told her Davies really was in Boston on a case, but that he couldn't disclose more, and he was sure Maura had misinterpreted whatever he said to her. Jane knew better, though. There was something off about this man, and people like him didn't go away quietly. The fact that he was willing to come after Maura was the worst part.

Jane woke early, her head still spinning. She got out of bed so as not to wake Maura, pulled a robe on over her tank top and underwear, and went downstairs to make coffee. Maura appeared almost immediately, a silk robe covering her otherwise naked form.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," said Jane.

"I couldn't sleep either," said Maura, going to the fridge in search of breakfast. "I keep thinking about him. I'm afraid he'll come after you."

"I know," said Jane softly. "But he was in the parking garage, waiting for you."

"I think I'll park on the street from now on," said Maura, reaching up to get a bowl from the cabinet.

Jane looked at her and frowned. "What is on your arm?"

"What do you mean?" asked Maura, looking down at herself.

Jane stepped forward and lifted the sleeve of Maura's robe a little. There they were: purple bruises, just above her elbow. She lay her fingers lightly on top of them, confirming her suspicions: they were placed exactly where someone's fingers would be if they grabbed her arm. The only thing was, the fingers would have been bigger than Jane's.

"How did you get these bruises?" Jane asked quietly.

"I-I didn't know I had them," Maura said, stumbling over her words.

"You didn't tell me he grabbed you!"

"I didn't want you to worry."

"I'm just gonna call him. This is unacceptable."

"Jane, that would be giving him what he wants! He wants your attention; he wants you to talk to him. Just ignore it, let him see he's not worth your time."

"Maura, I can't just let him by with bruising you! This is not okay! He can't think he can just come here and hurt you and I'm just going to let it slide!"

"It's really not a big deal. He probably didn't even realize he'd grabbed me that hard."

"Oh, yeah, it was just an innocent mistake."

"It doesn't even hurt!" Maura looked a little frantic.

"Maura, why are you downplaying this? Did he – did he threaten you?"

"No." A tear ran down Maura's cheek.

Jane put a hand on Maura's back, rubbing gently. "Honey, you can tell me if he did. I promise I won't let him hurt you."

"He didn't, I just—" Her voice broke. "I just…I didn't want you to…to think that…"

Suddenly it dawned on Jane. "You're afraid I won't want to be with you anymore if I think you're in danger because of me."

Maura nodded. "I can't…I can't go back to the way things used to be. This is all I ever wanted, Jane. I just want to be with you, to marry you. I can't lose this."

"Maura, you won't," Jane promised, wrapping her arms around her. "Don't worry, I'm not going to let this bastard break us up. Now that we're together, there's nothing that can break us up, okay? We are unbreakable."

Maura smiled, leaning against Jane. "Good. I couldn't stand it if he got what he wanted."

"Oh, he's not getting anything he wants. We're not breaking up, I'm not getting together with him, I'm not moving to Quantico. If I find out he wants waffles for breakfast, I'm gonna buy every waffle maker in the city just to make sure he can't have them. He's not getting anything he wants!"

Maura laughed, which was always Jane's goal after she saw her shed a tear. Jane lovingly stroked her hair.

"And he's definitely never going to bruise your pretty skin again," Jane promised, bending down to lightly kiss each bruise in turn.

~R&I~

As much as Jane wanted to call Davies and cuss him out for his treatment of Maura, she knew Maura was right that it would be giving him exactly what he wanted. Instead, she went to Nina and asked her to pull up the security camera footage from the parking lot. Maybe she could send that to the FBI so they could see how he grabbed Maura's arm, and then they would take this more seriously.

Unfortunately, the video didn't show Davies at all. It showed Maura stopping and talking to someone, but the person was just off the screen. At one point you could see Maura start to walk away and then stop suddenly, which must have been when he grabbed her, but he was still off camera. A chill went down Jane's spine.

"He did that on purpose," she said. "He knew where the cameras were. He intentionally stayed in the blind spot so we wouldn't be able to prove anything."

"In the old days we could have stretched the film to see things that were just out of view," said Nina. "But now everything's digital. What you see is what you get."

Jane shook her head in disgust. "He knows that. That's the problem." She looked at Nina. "He's FBI. He knows how to get away with whatever he wants."

~R&I~

That weekend, Maura went off in search of her perfect wedding dress, and this time, Hope asked to come with her. Jane didn't want to interfere with what was sure to be another awkward bonding moment, so she stayed home and watched the Sox on TV. The game was just ending when the doorbell rang. She went to answer it, feeling a bit wary, and found her dad on the stoop.

"I didn't know you were still in town," she said irritably.

"I couldn't leave things like they were. Would you…want to come get a bite to eat with me?"

Jane shook her head. "I'm eating with Maura when she gets home."

"Come have a drink with me then."

"Yeah Dad, because you're so much fun when you've been drinking."

"I'll just stick to one. Look, I've pissed everyone in the family off, and I want to make amends. Just give me a chance to make right."

Jane heaved a heavy sigh. After everything he'd said, she wasn't sure how he could possibly make it better, but she didn't like leaving things the way they were either.

"Fine, I'll get my wallet," she said.

She let him pick the bar, promising to hold him to the one-drink rule.

"So help me understand," he said when they had found a private booth. "How did you come to be engaged to a woman?"

Jane shrugged, looking down. "I've been in love with Maura for at least seven years. I've been fighting it the whole time, thinking she'd never feel the same way, but then she told me she did. Once I knew, obviously nothing was going to stop me from being with her. And it's been the most beautiful experience of my whole life. She's my soul mate, Dad. So I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. I want this more than I've ever wanted anything." She looked up and smiled. "We're getting married at Fenway. It's going to be amazing."

"You could have married a guy at Fenway."

"I could have, but he wouldn't have been my soul mate."

"But how can your soul mate be a woman? You've never been into girls."

Jane shook her head, looking down again. "That's not true."

"What do you mean? You've only dated guys before, ever since high school."

"Yeah, Daddy, because I was too afraid to admit what I really wanted. There were girls I had crushes on, but I knew what you and Ma thought of gay people back then, so I told myself it was nothing. I made up every excuse to convince myself I was really straight, that I didn't really like girls that way. I tried to make myself fall in love with one guy and then another. I was even gonna marry Casey. I felt like he was the closest I was ever going to get to having a normal relationship, the kind I thought I was supposed to have. I thought maybe I just needed to jump in there, you know, and the right feelings would come. Looking back I realize how stupid that was, but that was how much I wanted to be straight, to be accepted. And there was also Maura, I mean, I spent years trying to fall out of love with her. You guys really ingrained that stuff in me when I was young, and even though I knew Maura wasn't homophobic at all, I still had it in my head that if she knew I loved her, she'd want nothing to do with me. Turns out, she was in love with me the whole time."

"Janie, we raised you to be a good person. That's all. We wanted you to be a good Catholic. It's not about being homophobic; it's just that you know doing that sort of thing isn't right. It's not what God wants. If you were struggling with those feelings, you should have talked to our priest."

"You also brought me up to believe divorce was wrong. Why didn't you talk to our priest when you started struggling with feelings of ditching the mother of your children for twenty-year-old blonde bimbos?"

He looked affronted. "So that's what this is about? You're getting back at me for leaving?"

"No, Dad. I just think it's a bit hypocritical of you to use the argument that I'm going against the church when you've been going against the church, unapologetically, for years."

"Okay, so I haven't been the best father, the best husband, or the best Catholic. I can admit that. But you're my only daughter, and I just want what's best for you."

"Then you'll want me to marry Maura. I'm nuts about her, Dad, and she loves me more than anyone else ever has."

"Hold that thought," said Frank, looking towards the door. "There's someone here to talk to you."

"What?" Jane whirled around to see Casey coming towards them. "Oh no," she said, abruptly standing up. "I am not talking to him."

"Jane, I know we didn't leave things in a good place," said Casey, approaching the table. "But could you just hear me out? I want to apologize for my overreaction."

"Overreaction? The correct response to my news would have been, 'That's great, I'm so happy for you and Maura!' Instead you went with, 'You're ruining my life, now everyone's going to think I have a tiny dick.'"

She thought she detected a slight cringe on Casey's face, but he controlled himself. "I realize it was inappropriate. I ran into your dad yesterday, and I told him what happened and what I really meant to tell you. He asked me to meet him here so I could say my piece. I promise, it's nothing against your engagement. There was just something I wanted to tell you."

Heaving a sigh, Jane lowered herself back down into the booth. "You'd better talk fast," she said, taking a swig of her beer.

Casey nodded, sitting down beside Frank. "Listen, Jane, I retired from active duty and came back to Boston because I was hoping you and I could get back together."

Jane tensed. "How is this not against my engagement?"

"Just listen. What I did was a mistake. I told you I was leaving the army for you, and I should have followed through. We should be married by now, raising our child."

"I'm sure I would have lost the baby either way," said Jane. "Unless your plan was to make me leave my job."

"It would have been different, if we'd been together. I think you would have been more careful. It was just hard for you being pregnant and alone."

Jane shook her head. "I wasn't alone. I had Maura. She was the one who took me to all my appointments, who made sure I took all the right prenatal vitamins. She started a college fund for the baby. There's no question; we would have raised that kid together, she and I. She was devastated when we lost that baby."

Casey looked taken aback, but he persevered. "Nevertheless, it's clear to me that we were always meant to be together. You're my soul mate, Jane. I've always believed that. When you broke up with me, I was crushed, but I always believed we'd be together again someday. I knew it in my heart. I came back here ready to be the man you deserved, so we could finally get married and have children. I'm here to stay this time. I bought an apartment in a triple-decker down in Dorchester, near the water, just like we talked about. You'd love it. It has three bedrooms, beautiful hardwood floors—"

"Are you serious?" asked Jane. "You went and bought me a house? I think you might have had a little too much confidence in your ability to win me back."

"Janie, just give the guy a chance," said Frank. "This is the man of your dreams, the man you wanted to marry, and he's telling you he wants you back. You don't have to do this thing with your friend."

"Okay, let's get a couple things clear," said Jane harshly. "First of all, Casey, I would have no desire to get back together with you even if I didn't have Maura. After you pulled that whole bait-and-switch thing where you promised to leave the army if I married you and then reenlisted the second I said yes, there was zero chance of me ever trusting you again. But I've always been grateful that you did pull that shit on me, because it saved us both from what I'm sure would have been a very unhappy marriage. I was hoping against hope that you would want nothing to do with my child so I could raise the kid with Maura's help and never have to see you, ever again. And secondly, let me tell you something about Maura, since you both seem to see her as my last resort. She is the sweetest, most loving, most generous, smartest, most incredible human being I've ever know in my life. From the moment I met her, I've been so honored just to know her. She has never stopped amazing me. When you proposed to me, Casey, she cried when I told her. I thought it was because she was afraid I'd move away, but if I'd known it was because she wanted to be the one marrying me, I'd have taken the ring off in a heartbeat. To know that this beautiful, amazing person loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me is the greatest honor I have ever received. There isn't anything either of you can say that would make me change my mind. I don't care if you're embarrassed to tell your friends your daughter is a lesbian," she said to her dad, "or if your soldier buddies all think you have a tiny dick now. I really don't give a fuck."

And with that, she got up and stormed out of the bar, leaving the men to cover her tab.

~R&I~

When she got home, Maura was still out, but her mother was home, puttering around the kitchen.

"Hey, Ma," said Jane, collapsing onto the couch.

"Hey. Why do you look so weary?"

"I just feel like everyone in the world is conspiring against me, trying to keep me from marrying the woman I love."

Angela came over to the couch and sat down next to her daughter. "What happened?"

"Dad insisted on taking me out for a drink, and then he had Casey meet us. They made a ridiculous attempt to talk me into marrying Casey instead of Maura. Dad says you raised me better than this."

"You can't listen to that old geezer. He's not keeping up with the times."

Jane smiled slightly. "Be honest. Does it bother you, that I didn't turn out the way you thought I would?"

"No, baby." She put her arm around Jane. "Maybe if you'd sprung it on me out of nowhere…but I wondered about you and Maura for years. I kept thinking I was imagining it, but you two seemed so in love. You have this connection that's so rare. And yes, I always imagined you finding a loving husband someday, but I also told myself that if you and Maura did come out, I was going to accept it. At the end of the day, Jane, all I really want is for you to be happy. I know that Maura makes you happy."

Jane nodded, blinking back tears. "She does."

"And anyway, Dear Abby always says that people can't help being gay, that it's just the way God made them, and the leader of my PFLAG group says so too."

Jane looked at her. "You joined PFLAG?"

"Well yes, I thought I should. It's for parents, family, and friends of lesbians and gays. That applies to me now."

Jane couldn't help laughing at her parents' opposing reactions, but just then, the front door flew open and Maura rushed in.

"I found it!" she shouted excitedly. "I found my dress!"

"All right! Let's see it!" Jane exclaimed.

Maura smiled mysteriously and shook her head.

"Why can't I see it?" said Jane. "Don't you have a picture?"

"I do, but I want to surprise you. I want you to see if for the first time when I come down the aisle on our wedding day."

"Seriously? You've already seen mine!"

"Yes, but that was out of necessity. I had to help you choose yours."

"Because you couldn't trust me to pick out my own?"

"Well, it's not…it's not that you have a bad sense of fashion, per se, but…"

Jane stood up and kissed her cheek, stopping her before she could dig her hole any deeper. "It's a good thing you're cute."

"Can I see the dress?" asked Angela.

"Of course!" said Maura. "Hope took pictures of me when I tried it on." She sat on the couch next to Angela and pulled out her phone, flipping through several pictures.

"That's not fair," griped Jane. "Why does she get to see?"

"She's not the one I want to surprise," said Maura.

"Oh, that is darling!" exclaimed Angela. "Jane, you'll love it. She's going to be such a beautiful bride!"

"Well, I already know it's going to be silk chartreuse with an emperor waist and a really long train," said Jane.

Maura giggled. "Silk charmeuse, with an empire waist, which means a high waist. The color is ivory, like yours, and it has intricate beadwork on the bodice."

"Sleeves or straps?"

"Neither."

"Ooo." Jane smiled to herself at the image of Maura's bare shoulders in her strapless dress. She had no doubt that she would be absolutely breathtaking.

"Oh, and there's a matching veil," Maura told Angela, showing her on the phone. Jane chuckled to herself as she watched them. Maybe not everyone was in her corner, but absolutely nothing was going to stop her and Maura from having their dream wedding and, more importantly, spending the rest of their lives together.