Peeta's Solution

Chapter 11

A/N: Here is the latest chapter to make your Monday a little more enjoyable, because seriously, who likes Mondays? I have a ton at work to do on Mondays, not to mention this will be a busy week for work in general, I will wear 3 of the 4 hats this week as far as jobs go… so this is my way of procrastinating and living in fantasy for a bit.

The blackness is only punctuated with chaotic flashes of random images and stabbing pains. I had hoped to at least avoid the pain both physical and emotional if I was drugged back into oblivion but sadly that's not the case. I can feel their hands on me as they move me around, clean me up, and change my dressings. I can hear the soft murmur of voices usually too soft to hear the entire conversations but the bits that do get through the thick cotton surrounding my brain make my heart pound in worry. Infection, fever, lost, scared, war, casualties. My brain constantly dredging up pictures of those I failed to save, my father, my brothers and so many faces of District 12.

The next time I surface I'm greeted by the warm breath of Katniss as she sleeps at a precarious angle on the side of my bed. She's sitting in an uncomfortable looking seat leaning against my bed. My good hand entwined with hers. There are no windows in 13 so I'm not sure whether its morning or evening or how long I've been asleep. The pounding in my head has been reduced to a dull throb and the lights don't seem to bother me as much. My stomach still feels unsettled and my other arm sends stabbing pains all the way up the through my shoulder with each breath. I steel a glance at it and at least mollified that I can see my fingers poking through the bandages, they haven't resorted to chopping it off yet. I can't help but feel unease at the similar sensations I had in the arena when my leg was infected. I had hoped it would get better while I was asleep.

I try to shift to get a little more comfortable without disturbing Katniss but the feat is impossible. I try to stifle a moan as my miniscule shift sends a wave of pain through my shoulder and Katniss springs to alertness almost immediately. She blinks away the sleep and for a moment I forget my pain as I marvel at her beauty, that I somehow managed to win her over seems crazy but yet she hasn't left me. She's still in the same drab grey top and pants wrinkled and disheveled as before. There are marks on her face where the creases of the sheets pressed into her skin where she slept by my side. I also see the dark smudges under her eyes and I frown at the thought of her not sleeping because of me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I manager to whisper.

She gives a small trembling smile and brings her other hand to my cheek. She gives a frown then and presses the back of her hand to my forehead. She withdraws it after a moment and bites her lip.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Peeta. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I lie, she quirks an eyebrow at me, "Okay I feel like I got run over, better?"

She offers me a small smile in return. "The doctor should be in soon," she sits back in her chair and scoots it forward a little.

"How long was I out?" She brings a glass of water over offering it to me. I take a few small sips remembering the stomach cramps earlier and my current churning stomach, before I pull my head back from the straw.

"Peeta you should drink a little more," she tries to make me but I only take one more small sip to satisfy her. She sets the drink down before she turns back to me pushing my sweaty hair off my forehead. "Only four or five hours this time," she bites her lip as her chin begins to tremble.

I pull her hand from my face and grab it to mine and pull her closer to me. "Hey, come here." I press a small kiss to her lips and then one to her nose. When the tears spill from her eyes I kiss the tears away.

"I just can't lose you Peeta, no matter what promise me I won't lose you!"

"I'm not going anywhere Katniss; where ever you go I go, no matter what." I swallow thickly as I keep my own emotions in check. I will mourn my losses later, for now I need to keep them at bay in order to keep functioning.

"Peeta, I just… I just want you to know that no matter what happens with your… your arm… I won't love you any less, you know that right."

I close my eyes to fight the surge of emotion her words bring me. I simply nod a yes as the tears leak out from behind my closed eyes. I know that losing an arm in the scheme of things isn't the worst thing to happen. I'm lucky to be alive at all, especially when I planned on dying this time in the arena, but I still can't suppress the overwhelming sense of fear and loss when there is the threat of losing yet another limb hanging over my head.

I hear the sound of the door and voices from the hallway so I pull my hand from hers and hastily wipe the tears from my face. I take a deep breath and try to remain impassive, no matter what happens, I don't want to be overwhelmed by fear and feel even worse when the poison kicks in. The doctor enters followed by Mrs. Everdeen and Haymitch.

Mrs. Everdeen has a nurse's uniform on but that doesn't stop her from bounding over to my bed when she sees I'm awake. She offers me a soft hug being wary of my injuries and a warm kiss on the cheek. "Peeta sweetheart," she examines me her cool hand tenderly touching my cheek, "how you holding up?"

"I'm okay; I mean Katniss has been here so that's good… I…" I close my eyes and swallow thickly again. I can't finish the sentence and I take a moment to take a few breaths before opening my eyes again, I have to keep choking back these emotions, they aren't going to help my situation at the moment.

Mrs. Everdeen pats my cheek and then retreats, giving Katniss a warm squeeze on her way through. Haymitch moves to stand next to Katniss as Mrs. Everdeen takes up her position with the doctor on the opposite side of the bed. "I thought I'd step in as your nurse Peeta, thought it might make you a little more comfortable," Mrs. Everdeen announces as she gathers up some supplies and places them on the stainless steel exam table pulled up next to the bed.

The doctor finishes reading through my chart and proceeds to examine the readouts on some of the machines. He makes a few more notes in the chart before setting it down on the table. He pulls a small light from his pocket and shines it in my eyes. "Just checking your eyes to make sure your concussion is healing okay," he tells me as the turns my head from side to side. "Any ringing in your ears or muffled hearing?" I shake my head not trusting my voice to respond. "Any trouble with your memory or motor difficulties?" Again I shake my head.

He moves to remove the gauze bandage covering my head. I feel the air cool against it as he pulls the last of it free and hands it off to Mrs. Everdeen to dispose. He checks the gash I have on my head and nods his approval. "We can remove these stiches when we are through with your exam. You've healed up nicely." I hope the rest of my exam yields such positive news. He looks at Haymitch and then to Katniss before looking back at me. "Peeta, I have to finish your exam and then we will we take a look at your arm, would you like more privacy?"

I offer him a small chuckle. "Doc, all of Panam has seen me buck naked, remember? I think Haymitch and Katniss have seen more of my backside than probably anyone else." Katniss's face turns a fierce shade of red at my admission and I realize what could be inferred from that statement but I don't correct myself. He smiles a small smile before he proceeds to gently fold down the sheet and blanket that cover me. Just the small jostle on my arm makes me want to throw up but I close my eyes and push my head back into the pillow as hard as I can in an effort to hide my discomfort.

I feel Katniss's small cool hand slide into mine and give me a squeeze. I can feel her hand tremble in mine so I begin to trace my thumb on her hand in an effort to distract us both. With the blankets folded down to my hip bones I shiver a little in the cool air. I slowly take a survey of my torso to see what my body looks like now. My skin is pale and marbled in bruises of varying colors; it doesn't look like I have any new scars to add to my list at least. Alongside my bad arm my chest is a deep purple bruise that looks to be worse than the rest. The doctor gently prods my stomach looking for any tender spots or swelling. His fingers ghost over my ribs gently but it still sends pain zinging along my body and I unconsciously squeeze Katniss's hand in response. "A few of your ribs were broken during the fall so they will be tender for a while," he tells me , "as long as we can keep you from jostling them too much and causing further injury they should heal okay on their own in time."

The doctor then sits down on his stool and peers at me over the rim of his glasses. "Now one more thing to discuss before we get to your arm," he pauses as if to collect his thoughts. Before I can feel too much dread he continues, "When you walked into the force field in the arena you were essentially electrocuted. A large amount of electricity passed through your body and essentially stopped your heart and body." Katniss squeezes my hand hard at this and I turn to catch her grey eyes on mine. I keep my eyes focused on her as the doctor continues, "Finnick was able to restart your heart and you've slowly been recovering from that trauma, though we won't know the extent of the damage or their severity until time passes." I rip my eyes away from Katniss and look back at the doctor and Mrs. Everdeen. "Your heart definitely has been put through an undue amount of stress between the electrocution and your initial poisoning so we've been trying to keep you from putting any unnecessary stress on it. In time you may heal entirely from it but for now we will do weekly scans on your vitals to track their recovery process and we'll have you take things easy as possible okay?" I can only nod my head, I can't process what he just told me, my brain feels like it's working in slow motion and I seem to feel numb.

"Now we're going to remove your dressing and look at your arm. Now I want you to know that I am a little concerned that you are running such a high temperature but that doesn't necessarily mean the infection in your arm has done too much damage." I try to watch him as he pulls the adhesive off the thick gauze surrounding the length of my arm but I'm too scared to see what it looks like so I turn my head the opposite direction and look at the wall. I feel Katniss run her other hand through my sweaty hair, gently avoiding my stitches. I bite my lip as Mrs. Everdeen gently lifts my arm and balances my hand on the edge of the table so that they can remove the bandages; the small movement has my vision turning black. I try to keep the gasp from escaping my lips as they move to remove the secondary bandage that actually touches the wound itself, but I fail miserably.

Katniss lays cool kisses on my cheeks as she continues to hold my hand and run her hand softly through my hair. She whispers encouraging words in my ear and I try focusing on her than on the pain and overwhelming sense of fear that seems intent on surfacing. As they tug the last of the bandages free I can feel the cool air hit my arm, but I still can't bring myself to look. Katniss pulls her hand from my face and covers her mouth with it, she leans back a little shakily and I'm glad to see Haymitch move forward and slide his arm around her waist to keep her from falling. Mrs. Everdeen breaks the silence, "Katniss its okay, honey. They performed some surgery on it initially when he was brought in to remove the worst of the bad tissue." I pull my eyes up to look at Katniss who's hand is still covering her mouth and her small frame shakes as the tears fall down her face. Haymitch leans in to talk to her but I can't hear what he tells her.

After a moment of silence she seems to pull herself together and wipe the tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand. She glances down and notices my concerned stare and offers me a small smile, "You just know how I get with these sorts of things Peeta, can't handle all the wound stuff." Her voice still has a small tremble in it but I know she's trying to be strong for me so I try to give her back a small smile.

I finally work up the nerve and turn my head to take in my arm. The wound is double the size of the initial cut Johanna made and sections of tissue have obviously been removed. What shocks me the most is that the wound is wide open, they haven't stitched it up at all, instead leaving it open. I swallow back the vomit that is creeping its way up my throat. The doctor has just been observing the wound and making notes and I'm anxious to hear his diagnosis. He sees me watching him and puts down the chart, "I do think the only reason this infection got so out of control in you Peeta was your body was already weakened from the force field. Johanna had only a minor infection in her cut." I'm glad she didn't have to suffer through this fate. He steps back and asks Mrs. Everdeen to retrieve a few items. She steps from the room and returns a few minutes later with an armful of items. "The infection doesn't seem to have spread but I need to make sure that the tissue is not damaged," he explains. "I will need for you to tell me if you can feel different parts when I touch them. After that I will numb you up just a little, I don't want to give you too much as it slows your body down even more. I want you to close your eyes and take deep slow breaths okay?"

I clamp my eyes closed and try to breath as he instructs, I'm thankful that I can feel Katniss's thumb start caressing my hand. "Okay, can you feel this Peeta?" It feels like a white hot poker has been stuck in my arm and I lift half of my body off the bed, none of the pain in the rest of my injuries even registering in my brain. "Okay, calm down Peeta, slow breaths, in through your nose and out your mouth, I'm sorry that hurt but that is good news that you were able to feel that." I'm sweating profusely now and panting in an effort to keep the moans from escaping. I keep my eyes closed. I don't want to see any of their faces or I will just feel worse. "Okay Peeta just a few more spots okay?" I don't even nod before I am forced with the sensation all over again and this time I bite down hard on my tender lip but the moan still escapes my mouth. I feel hands holding me from moving this time and I assume, based on their size that it's Haymitch. "That is good Peeta, okay only one more time okay?" The sensation is there but not quite as painful as the other two. "Peeta do you feel this or no?"

I finally release my lip from my teeth and taste the blood before I manage to croak out, "Yes, its faint but I do feel it… it doesn't hu..hurt as much as the others."

"That's good Peeta. You can go ahead an open your eyes now, we're all done with that part." I open my eyes and blink at the brightness of the lights. Haymitch has removed his hands from me, no longer needing to hold me still. Katniss brings a wet washcloth to the cut on my lip and dabs it gently before holding it steady to stem the bleeding. I look at her and she offers me a smile though I can see the tears on her cheeks. I finally bring my eyes back over to the other side of the bed.

The doctor has retrieved a needle filled with an amber colored liquid. "I'm just going to give you a few shots around your arm to numb up the area at least a little; it should take the sting out of the rest of the procedure some. I'm sorry we can't put you under again." His words feel ominous and I can't help but wish I could just pass out on my own then. I feel a sharp jab in my arm and I make a small flinch, he repeats this two or three more times before he lays the needle down now empty of the liquid. "I'll just give that moment or two to really kick in before we begin. "

"Be-begin what?" Katniss asks and I'm glad she did because I'm not sure I have the courage or the strength to.

"We have to irrigate the wound with some saline to flush out some more of the infection, we'll then spray in an antibiotic treatment directly on the tissue and then we'll suture it closed, using synthetic skin grafts where the tissue is missing."

The throbbing in my arm has lessened some and for that I'm grateful. My eyes honestly feel heavy and I can't help but want to drift off. I can see Katniss's concern as she stares opened mouth at her mother and the doctor. I give her hand a tug to get her attention. "It's okay Kat." I'm unable to pronounce her full name; my tongue feels heavy and uncooperative. Mrs. Everdeen examines the machines that are hooked to me before she runs a tube under my nose that puffs some cool air into my nostrils.

"Just try and take it easy Peeta, you've used up a lot of energy today. As soon as we finish up your arm we're going to let you get some rest okay?" I love the warmth I hear in her voice. I know she has my best interest at heart so I trust her implicitly.

I turn my head to the other side of the bed and sleepily stare up at Katniss as they begin. The initial irrigation stings a little but I merely flinch and breathe the sterile air slowly. The fluid is cold though and I feel my teeth start to chatter. Haymitch gently tugs the blankets back up to my chest and I'm not even embarrassed to see that I was lying completely nude having kicked the blankets off entirely. The blanket brings a little bit of warmth back into me but I'm still shivering violently. My eyes grow heavier and heavier and I don't fight the pull towards sleep. They close but I'm jostled right back awake as the puff of the antibiotic solution begins to burn in the wound. I moan pathetically but am too exhausted to even move, I can't even open my eyes to look at Katniss. Mrs. Everdeen' s voice rings out, "I'm sorry Peeta, I know it burns but it will help kill the infection faster so we can save your arm. The burning will stop in a few minutes," she pauses and I feel her hand on my leg as she rubs it comfortingly, "Just hang in there baby."

True to her word the burning fades slowly back down to the dull ache. I'm trembling and just so tired. They begin the arduous task of stitching my arm back together and I hear them mumble about grafts but I'm having a hard time focusing. I can feel the bite of the needle and the small tugs but eventually I drift off entirely, thankful that I can escape for a bit.

When I surface again I see that someone has piled blankets on me and I'm blissfully warm. The pain has eased a great deal but I am alarmed that Katniss isn't at her station beside me. I am about to panic when I see a little blonde head jump from a chair beside my bed. "Peeta!" Prim exclaims as she pulls my hand into hers, 'How are you feeling?"

I can't help but smile a genuine smile at her, "I'm feeling a lot better than I was. Where's Katniss is she okay?"

Prim rolls her eyes at me, "Leave it to you to be so sick and the first thing you worry about is Katniss! She's fine; she's just exhausted and hasn't eaten anything. We dragged her kicking and screaming back to her bed after we made her eat. We told her she wouldn't be able to look after you if she couldn't stand on her own two feet."

I settle back into my pillows thankful that she is being taken care of. "It's good to see you Prim."

She pats my hand and I turn just as the door opens. I see the tired eyes of Mrs. Everdeen as she comes to my side of the bed. She smiles at me as she checks my machines and notes them in my chart. "How are you doing sweety?" She asks me her tone laced with concern.

"I'm feeling much better, I don't hurt nearly so much."

She smiles back at me. "Everything looks good Peeta, your blood work shows the infection is clearing up, your fever is down. I removed the stiches on your head and cleaned up your prosthetic and your leg up a bit… the ointment has the skin as good as new there. I just need to check your arm and if things look good we can work on weaning you off all these machines."

I smile at the thought of being able to move under my own will power again. Her fingers deftly remove the bandages and the pain is only minimal. The wound, though it will leave a large amount of scarring, looks far better than the last time I laid eyes on it. "Good, good," Mrs. Everdeen exclaims, "Now can you make a fist with your hand Peeta?" I slowly form a fist even though it hurts a little; my hand is weak and shaking. "Good, now can you wiggle your fingers?" I try to and most of them move but my pinky finger doesn't seem to. Mrs. Everdeen notes that in the chart, "A little weakness and numbness is to be expected. You'll go through a little therapy to help rebuild your strength after you've healed up." She wraps the wound back up in a light dressing.

"Now if you promise to eat this slowly and drink this juice I will remove your IV and the air for you." She pushes a trey of some brown broth what looks like mush with some sort or yellow juice towards me. It doesn't look very appetizing but I make short work of it anyway, anxious to be free of these contraptions.

When she returns to take my tray she pulls the tubes off while I distract myself talking with Prim. She is a wealth of information and I'm able to discover that District 13 is huge and lies entirely underground. They have weapons and hovercrafts, food grown below in carefully managed synthetic conditions, they have a hospital (obviously), and that the capital and the districts are in complete disarray, the revolution truly beginning upon our destruction of the arena and the catastrophic bombing of District 12.

What worries me is how she tells me that President Coin, the leader of 13 is anxious to put Katniss to work as the symbol of the rebellion. I can only hope to get on my feet as quickly as possible to keep her out of harm's way. Mrs. Everdeen asks Prim to leave and finishes untethering me to my IV machine before telling me about one more tube, a catheter, she called it, that she would need to remove.

Although previously I was unfazed by my manhood being on display for all to see, I am completely mortified that Mrs. Everdeen will be handling anything in that area. She's all business though and moves the sheets up before I can protest. She tells me to suck in a breath and hold it, in two quick tugs she has it released and I feel like she pulled a razor through my most sensitive skin. I sort of pull myself into a half formed fetal position as she pulls the blankets back down. Slowly the pain ebbs away though I'm still uncomfortable.

"You'll have to push the button here, "she points to a button on my bed, "If you need to use the bathroom now. I've set your prosthetic over there," and she points against the wall. "I'll let you get some more rest now and then I will be back before dinner so that we can have you try to walk a little. Can I get you anything before I go?"

I shake my head unable to meet her eyes completely. She smiles before turning on her heels to leave me alone. I fall back asleep easily, despite my embarrassment. When I wake this time I'm happy to see a rested looking Katniss reading in her chair. When she notices my stare she drops her book and moves to the bed with a huge smile on her face. She gives me a chaste kiss and I pull her closer pulling her down on the bed beside me. She moans into my mouth and I am alarmed to see that my sore member is throbbing at the sound. I hastily pull back from the kiss and try to adjust he blankets to hide it.

"How are you feeling? You look like you are feeling better!" She smiles at me as she rubs my cheek affectionately.

"I'm feeling a lot better." I am starting to realize that my bladder is uncomfortably full and I have an urgent need to use the restroom. My eyes begin to dart around, I don't want to use the button because I'd rather not be mortified by Mrs. Everdeen or another nurse being completely nude and all.

"Need something?" Katniss interrupts my internal struggle. The quirk of her eyebrow and her knowing smirk leads me to think that she knows my current predicament and is enjoying watching me squirm.

"Umm, bathroom?" I stutter out.

Without another word she retrieves my leg and quickly straps it on. She pulls a soft pair of blue shorts from the bottom of the bed and quickly slides them up to cover me. I shiver at her touch and this time it's not from the chill of the air. She smiles at me knowingly and peels the blankets to the side. She helps me gently into a sitting position before I pull my legs off to the side. My arm, though sore, doesn't seem to bother me as much as the ache does from my ribs. I keep my good arm wrapped protectively around them as I pull myself unsteadily to my feet. I wobble a little but Katniss wraps her arms around my hips to steady me. I take small slow steps towards the corner of the room where the bathroom lies. It takes me a long time and I'm afraid I'll wet myself before I make it.

Katniss leads me to the toilet before mercifully stepping outside to stand alongside the open door in an effort to give me a little privacy. Unfortunately I catch site of myself in the mirror above the toilet and I'm nearly shocked at the person staring back at me. My face has thinned remarkably, my skin is pale and I have a new scar just below my hairline. I try to focus on the task at hand but it takes a moment of focus before I'm able to relieve myself.

I cry out in surprise. "What is it?" Katniss asks as she steps back in. I lay my good arm against the wall for balance and lean forward, effectively blocking her view.

"Nothing, nothing it just… hurts a little that's all," my face red from the embarrassment and the pain both. Katniss gives me a funny look and steps back out, I continue on through the pain and slowly empty my bladder.

"Why would it hurt to go to the bathroom?" She asks as I flush the toilet and move to wash my hands.

"Um, no reason," I can see by the way her hands are on her hips that she doesn't buy it. I exhale slowly and just blurt it out. "Your mother pulled a tube out of there earlier okay, it still burns a little."

I'm part of the way back to the bed when she realizes what I just said, "There was a tube where? My mother… oh no, oh…" she puts a hand to her mouth in mortification and then she starts laughing. At first I'm irritated at her laughter but as I settle back into the bed I can see the amusement in it and I love how beautiful she looks when she is happy, a smile slowly builds over my face but I try not to laugh because it jostles my ribs.

"Katniss, stop making me laugh, it hurts." I try to sound angry but fail miserably. She tries to cover her mouth and stop laughing but can't help a few more giggles as they escape.

Just as we finish her mother strolls in with a tray for dinner and that sets Katniss off on another round of giggles. I can feel red flood back over my face. Mrs. Everdeen looks from Katniss to me in confusion trying to find the source of our amusement.

She shakes her head at us. She eyes my leg when she sees that it's attached. "Did you try walking yet?"

"Yes ma'am, just now, Katniss helped me."

"Where you able to go the bathroom okay?" At this Katniss guffaws loudly not bothering to hide her amusement. Mrs. Everdeen stares at her daughter before looking back at me finally connecting the dots. "Oh really you two, honestly." She shakes her head in mock admonishment but chuckles a little herself. She turns back to me, "well?"

I am staring at the patterns on the blanket like it is the most interesting thing in the world. "I went… it just hurt a little is all."

She nods at my response. "That's perfectly normal. Just drink lots of fluids and the more you go it should get better in a day or so." She moves the table over with the tray of food and removes the cover. It looks like a lumpy sort of stew and a hard piece of bread and small cup of milk. I don't think the smell is particularly appetizing but I don't apparently find it as revolting as Katniss who looks a bit green. Mrs. Everdeen eyes her oddly before addressing me, "As long as there are no more complications and you can eat and drink okay we should be able to move you into your quarters tomorrow. You'll just need to come back for your medications and appointments."

I'm so happy at the news but also a little scared that I'll be in a room by myself. With no family to share a space with I will occupy the space alone until I marry and have kids. Or so that is what Prim rattled on about. I'm about to take a bite of the stew when Katniss leaps to her feet and sprints to the bathroom. She pulls the door closed but in her haste it doesn't latch. We can hear her retching quite clearly. I lower my spoon and push the tray back. "Katniss?" I ask "Are you okay?"

Mrs. Everdeen walks to the bathroom and shuts the door. I can hear muffled conversation but nothing more. I hope that Katniss is okay but I stay on the bed having been effectively beat to the punch of caring for her by Mrs. Everdeen.

The longer the door stays closed the more I start to worry. The stew has long since grown cold before I hear the turn of the door.